Didn't know what to do at the store today

[Myhouse]

My thoughts are similar at times. I want to help but than worry about what others will think. I heard something that helped me. “It is not what I think, It is not what you think, Its what I think you think that bothers me” I think that when your heart is in the right place, even if someone responds like we would not like, we have done the right thing.

 

[redtech]

I would have picked up the bags of chips and maybe tried to talk to the kid to distract him into being still for a few minutes for mom.

Of course… I don’t mind strange women talking to my kids, but strange men are different. Sorry.

 

[moen]

AMEN to Myhouse and ALEX6!

Maybe that’s just because they agreed with my viewpoint… -yet, as a mom of 3 (2 special needs) it’s like: you get to a point when you say as a VERY needy person at any given time I COULDN’T CARE LESS WHO OFFERS TO HELP me…I need it! I don’t have the help I need almost on a daily basis. If I’m in a public place, all the better. Probably no one will shoot or steal my kids in that scenario. When you have just a couple of kids and you have all your ducks in a row, and you have the energy to deal with stuff, it’s a different world altogether.
When you have a chronic illness as a mom, with special needs kids, when you have NO family or help right then to take them or whatever…those times when I’m in the store I think “I just need to get through this.” I trust God to give me help when I need it. If it’s packaged in a dirty way, who cares." Maybe it’s called being completely beyond what you can handle in the physcial realm. .Unless you’ve been in a similar position , please don’t give me advice.
I have a son with autism who runs to the street and lays down. I can’t take him to stores much anymore or anything…My husband is gone most of the time. I do whatever it takes at this point. Please do not tell me that I’m not wise. In some situations, I am like the one Jesus says “blessed are the poor and needy.” I cry out to HIM to help, why should I waste my precious little energy to worry about how that help comes?! No, I’m not going to be stupid and let him wander off or let anyone hold my kids.
If you have all the equipment to take care of yourself, to be afraid of strangers at the store---------that’s where you’re at. But I am NOT there. I have to get a literal harness for my son, I know, but then that’s embarrassing also. People give me horrible looks when I’m with him and he acts out. It’s so true that the people who have endured the least amount of suffering in their own lives can be the MOST judgmental—and the ones who NEVER offer to help. If someone offers to help, all the better, in my eyes! It’s all very humbling, and I do NOT have the strength to always do “just the right thing.” If you can more power to you. To those who are completely dependent on God to get through the day and to look ridiculous in public, I totally relate to those.
Maybe the most important thing about this is: SOME PEOPLE HAVE THE GIFT OF HELPS. They see a need and run to fulfill it. To always tell people you don’t need help is to rob them of using their giftings. To those who don’t like to ever ask for help, think about it. I know when I really want to help someone, and I always hear NO it’s like an empty feeling afterwards. I LOVE to help people wherever I am. It’s SO fulfilling. Yes, there are dangers, but remember in Hebrews where if we are open we may end up entertaining angels unaware!!!

 

[Ruthie]

I was in a similar situation once. Shopping at the grocery, I kept running into a mom with two toddlers who were being just as bratty as they could. She tried to deal with it, and overall, did a pretty good job.

Then we were in check-out lines near each other. One of the little boys was screaming, the other was trying to grab candy. I looked around, and everyone was frowning at her. She caught my eye, and I gave her a great big grin and a thumbs up. She visibly relaxed. Sometimes, that’s all you need to do to help.

God bless us all,

Ruthie

 

[Sabda]

As a mother myself, I think the best thing you can do in this situation is pray for them, wait patiently, and if they look your way give them a geniune smile. Smiles are contagious and tend to relax people. In the situation you described it really doesn’t sound like you could have done anything else to help. Don’t worry about it.

Oh, I tend to agree with Malia on this. It always makes me very uneasy when someone talks to my kids, no matter how nice they may be. Some of the people who do the worst things to kids are also the same ones who come across as some of the nicest. I would not put a lot of focus on the kids. That will most likely make the mother more nervous.