Didn't receive communion, is this scrupulosity?

[JackVk]

I didn’t receive communion this morning at Mass because of possible sins on my soul.The other day, I was trying to finish some math homework that I had procrastinated on (so that’s sloth). I was at the college math help center and left because I didn’t want to ask for too much help (pride). And when I couldn’t get any of the answers right, I got frustrated and threw a tantrum and talked about how much I hated school (anger, as well as taking a blessing like education for granted).

Along with that, I always get this kind of militancy when studying apologetics, like I’m going to get into some heated debate with an anti-Catholic (which has never happened to me, except a few times here on CAF. I’m sure many of you get this, this defensive feeling that seems to hurt love for neighbor.

So, because of this, I did not take communion this morning. I thought about grabbing the priest before Mass for a quick confession, but I do that a lot with my pastor. He once joked, “has it been more than a day since your last confession?” While that has been true sometimes, I no longer feel comfortable having him hear my confessions.

Was my decision wise, or am I being scupulous again? I ws so afraid of committing sacrelige, but now I’m crying for not having received the Lord. I seldom go a week without confessing, feeling like I have to do it constantly, or else I will fall from grace.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

My friend, I believe you are being much to hard on yourself.
Much of what you relate is just being human,
we all feel these things from time to time.

My best advice to you is find a spiritual director/regular confessor who can help you
disecern what is sin and what is not, and what areas of your life you need to work on, with God’s help to, to achieve His peace.

As far as receiveing the Eucharist, IMHO, you should have, as the spiritual benefits are something that it sounds like you really need. Others may disagree,
but I will leave you with something by director/confessor said to me when I was struggleing with some of the same things you relate in your OP.

“If you are ever in doubt that you are commiting a (mortal) sin, you are probably not.”

Peace be with you on your journey.

 

[JackVk]

“If you are ever in doubt that you are commiting a (mortal) sin, you are probably not.”

Peace be with you on your journey.

I always thought of that saying the opposite way: If you are ever in doubt, confess, just to err on the side of safety. But the former is probably right. I feel like I’ve almost abused the Sacrament of Reconciliation and taken it for granted, not appreciating the graces it gives.

 

[1ke]

You do seem to tend towards scrupulosity. Therefore, the best course is to seek guidance from a qualified priest not here on the boards.

 

[ANNE_2]

CCC - "1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter, and which is also committed with full knowledge, and deliberate consent."

CCC - "1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent.
It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law.
It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice.
Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin."

If you can not discern your actions for yourself, see a Priest.

Use your “Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition” for all matters of Faith and Morals regarding grave sin.

 

[odile53]

So let’s see: You did end up doing your math homework, I think you learned your lesson about not asking for help, you’re still in school, and you haven’t picked any apologetics fights. So it sounds like much of what you were experiencing was reactions to tough feelings, and maybe you need to learn some more self-control (couldn’t we all use some of that?!) Under the emotionally charged feelings, were any of your actions fully voluntary, especially if you haven’t had much experience in practicing some self control?

You’re only required to confess mortal sins to return to a state of grace to receive the Eucharist. As you know, a mortal sin requires three elements: the act is evil, the person must know the act is evil, and the person must fully consent to doing it anyway. Did you fully consent to doing any of these things? The homework procrastination might have been, the leaving the math help center in a huff probably wasn’t, and the “I hate school” rant probably wasn’t. The feeling like picking an apologetics fight is a morally neutral (although frustrating) feeling. You did practice some self discipline in that you did eventually get the homework done (well or not,) and you stayed out of arguments.

Maybe instead of focusing on feelings being sinful (they only are if we encourage them) you might want to concentrate on praying for the grace to deal with bad feelings well.

 

[ChristIsTheWay]

I didn’t receive communion this morning at Mass because of possible sins on my soul.The other day, I was trying to finish some math homework that I had procrastinated on (so that’s sloth). I was at the college math help center and left because I didn’t want to ask for too much help (pride). And when I couldn’t get any of the answers right, I got frustrated and threw a tantrum and talked about how much I hated school (anger, as well as taking a blessing like education for granted).

Along with that, I always get this kind of militancy when studying apologetics, like I’m going to get into some heated debate with an anti-Catholic (which has never happened to me, except a few times here on CAF. I’m sure many of you get this, this defensive feeling that seems to hurt love for neighbor.

So, because of this, I did not take communion this morning. I thought about grabbing the priest before Mass for a quick confession, but I do that a lot with my pastor. He once joked, “has it been more than a day since your last confession?” While that has been true sometimes, I no longer feel comfortable having him hear my confessions.

Was my decision wise, or am I being scupulous again? I ws so afraid of committing sacrelige, but now I’m crying for not having received the Lord. I seldom go a week without confessing, feeling like I have to do it constantly, or else I will fall from grace.

I know how you feel. What you’re describing sounds a lot like me and I do suffer from scrupulosity. It can be a terrible burden. While I am not really qualified to say if you’re scrupulous, too, it does sound like a strong possibility. Your best bet will be to find a confessor experienced with helping scrupulous people. Not every priest really understands the condition or what to do. This could explain, for example, why your pastor has not already discussed this issue with you. I suffered for years from this and my regular confessor (pastor of my parish) seemed nearly oblivious to my condition. It wasn’t until I confessed to a visiting priest, one experienced with scrupulous people, that my scrupulosity was finally discovered. I now regularly confess with that priest. It has been a tremendous blessing. It is a sad fact but if you don’t seek help for this, you could easily end up falling away, overwhelmed by the anxiety and the depression that can accompany the issue. So, I’d recommend bringing up the issue with your pastor and to go from there.

 

[JackVk]

Here’s another question: I have prayed about it and found that I am being scrupulous and therefore too hard on myself. But I went to Mass again later this morning, at 10 am, to receive communion. Did I deny God’s mercy by not taking communion the first time? Was that despairing, and therefore committing sacrelige when I took communion?

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Here’s another question: I have prayed about it and found that I am being scrupulous and therefore too hard on myself. But I went to Mass again later this morning, at 10 am, to receive communion. Did I deny God’s mercy by not taking communion the first time? Was that despairing, and therefore committing sacrelige when I took communion?

Jack,

Please talk to your pastor or a priest/deacon or someone else you trust and ask them to help you find a regular confessor/spiritual director. You are not going to get the help and guidance you truly need on these boards, as much as some of us might try. God does not what you to be this anxious, He loves you too much!

I will pray for you. Peace be with you on your journey.

 

[1ke]

Here’s another question: I have prayed about it and found that I am being scrupulous and therefore too hard on myself. But I went to Mass again later this morning, at 10 am, to receive communion. Did I deny God’s mercy by not taking communion the first time? Was that despairing, and therefore committing sacrelige when I took communion?

Stop.It.

Yes, you are scrupulous, and yes you need to be under the supervision of a priest trained to deal with this issue.

Please get help.

 

[Brywan]

Here’s a link to Scrupulous Anonymous–a ministry of Ligouri Publications. They write a monthly newsletter and provide other resources for people who suffer from this disorder.

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm

I also recommend you read one or all of the falling (all available on Amazon):

“Understanding Scrupulosity”

“A Thousand Frightening Fantasies”

“The Doubting Disease”

Most important, find yourself a regular confessor and/or therapist who understands this disorder and can help you learn how to live with it in peace.

 

[MilesVitae]

Here’s another question: I have prayed about it and found that I am being scrupulous and therefore too hard on myself. But I went to Mass again later this morning, at 10 am, to receive communion. Did I deny God’s mercy by not taking communion the first time? Was that despairing, and therefore committing sacrelige when I took communion?

No.

It has already been said, but it’s worth repeating. Possibly the only way you’ll get over scrupulosity is to find a regular confessor, preferably one who is knowledgable about scrupulosity, and trust what he tells you, even when you are uncertain whether he is right.

 

[MilesVitae]

You’re only required to confess mortal sins to return to a state of grace to receive the Eucharist. As you know, a mortal sin requires three elements: the act is evil, etc.

The act needs to be more than merely evil - every sinful act is an evil. It is needs to be grave matter.

 

[Holly3278]

I think scrupulosity is very common amongst converts, especially Neophytes (new converts). However, this is an issue for a priest to address, not me.

 

[Monica4316]

I didn’t receive communion this morning at Mass because of possible sins on my soul.The other day, I was trying to finish some math homework that I had procrastinated on (so that’s sloth). I was at the college math help center and left because I didn’t want to ask for too much help (pride). And when I couldn’t get any of the answers right, I got frustrated and threw a tantrum and talked about how much I hated school (anger, as well as taking a blessing like education for granted).

Along with that, I always get this kind of militancy when studying apologetics, like I’m going to get into some heated debate with an anti-Catholic (which has never happened to me, except a few times here on CAF. I’m sure many of you get this, this defensive feeling that seems to hurt love for neighbor.

So, because of this, I did not take communion this morning. I thought about grabbing the priest before Mass for a quick confession, but I do that a lot with my pastor. He once joked, “has it been more than a day since your last confession?” While that has been true sometimes, I no longer feel comfortable having him hear my confessions.

Was my decision wise, or am I being scupulous again? I ws so afraid of committing sacrelige, but now I’m crying for not having received the Lord. I seldom go a week without confessing, feeling like I have to do it constantly, or else I will fall from grace.

Jack, it sounds like you’re suffering from scrupulosity, which is something that I struggle with too, - I suggest finding a spiritual director to guide you in this. It seems that you are having difficulty distinguishing between mortal and venial sins. My confessor helped me to see the difference, and when I trusted him and received Communion without going to Confession for venial sin, - it was really obvious after Communion that I did the right thing. Only mortal sin prevents us from receiving Communion. If you feel scared or unable to receive the Eucharist with little venial sins, - definitely find a good confessor to guide you, and be obedient to him, because scrupulosity can be dangerous spiritually. But through obedience, it’s easier because then it’s not us who is deciding whether something is a mortal sin, - but we are surrendering this to God and to the Church.

God bless

 

[ProVobis]

I seldom go a week without confessing, feeling like I have to do it constantly, or else I will fall from grace.

I don’t see a problem with that. There are many communities where confessions have long lines and you find the same people there every week. It does help to have confessions available right before Mass, though.