How does one die unto himself?
Spiritually speaking?
To die to ourselves is not an easy process. I deliberately use the word process, because that is what it is. In simpler words, dying to ourselves is what St. Benedict called on-going conversion of manners. We begin to change the way that we do things. We begin to adopt our choices to comform to those of Christ’s choices and his teaching.
Part of this process requres that we do as St. Francis said, “I am who I am before God, nothing else.” What we are before others or before our own eyes is not as important as what we are before God. The first step comes with realizing that we are loved by God. No matter how sinful and how far away we may have been from God, he was never far from us. We often have to pray that God will help us feel loved by him or believe that we are loved by him. There is a human tendency to project our feelings onto God. We tend to believe that God sees us and others through our eyes. Nothing can be further from the truth. God sees us through the eyes of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Those are the eyes of love. As we grow comfortable with being loved by God, despite our weaknesses, we also begin to love others despite their weaknesses.
We cannot die to ourselves without embracing poverty. As St. Therese of Liseux said, the greatest thing that we can offer God is our poverty. This means that we have to let go of those things that we no longer need for our health and work. By detaching from material things and focussing on what we need rather than what we want, we begin to see God as the greatest need in our lives.
Sometimes we have to endure pain and suffering. No one should go out and look for suffering. God does not call us to be self-centered and try to martyr ourselves. But there are times in life when suffering comes our way. We have a moral obligation to do the best that we can to alleviate the suffering. At the same time, we have to accept the part that we cannot change. We unite it to the sufferings of Christ on the cross. At this point, suffering becomes redemptive.
There is a social dimension to dying to self. Christ did not save us in a vacuum. He saved us as a people as well as individuals. We must wake up and pay attention to the things that are happening in our community, our family, our parish, our nation and our world. Some things call for our attention, concern and involvement. To spend all the time in the world in prayer for the salvation of our soul and not present the world to Christ is contrary to the spirit of prayer. Even monks who live in enclosed communities away from the world know what is happening in the world. They pray for the world. Some even write books for the world. Those of us who live in the world must take action so that the Kingdom of God can become a reality.
The final act of dying to self is doing it all without whining. I would use another word, but it may get deleted on CAF. But you get the point. Take care of your spouse, children, community and world. Take time for prayer even if your vacuuming has to wait a day. The floor isn’t going away. Get rid of all that junk that’s in your house that you do not need and other can use. It’s only taking up space while others suffer for lack of these things, especially in these hard times. Stay close to the sacraments, even if have to go to an early mass. Remeember, love is not about agreement. It is about giving. You don’t have to agree, but you have to give. Sometimes you have to yield a battle to win a war.
In conclusion, accept the fact that you are a sinner and thank God that he is there. Do not torture yourself with guilt because you sin. Try again. Don’t give up. God has been trying to save humanity since he created us. What would have happened had he given up after the Garden of Eden? We can’t give up either. But getting down on ourselves is not the solution. The solution is to work on ourselves.
This is just the beginning.
Fraternally,
Br. JR, OFS
