Differences between male and female sexuality

[Ahlman]

I just finished Christopher West’s commentary of John Paul II:s Theology of the Body called Theology of the Body Explained. Very interesting. A particular eye-opener is John Paul II:s teaching that concupiscence really can be overcome already in this life with the help of Christ’s grace. Not fully maybe and not without a lifelong spiritual battle, but we sure can improve a lot. And also the fact that looking away to avoid temptations is just the first step in battling concupiscence - the goal is to be able to look at a beautiful women without feeling any temptation at all but just see her for the person she is. Very uplifting.

However, while I sure can recognize myself in this as a male, I become a little curious whether females in general have the same struggles. My impression is that it is only men that struggle with masturbation and pornography and tend to use women as objects, and never the other way around.

Is this how things are? Are women never tempted to impure thoughts by looking at good-looking men? Does it never happen that the woman in a marriage might want to engage in the conjugal act while the man isn’t really up to it, rather than the other way around? Do women even have to struggle with concupiscence at all, and if that is the case (which i suppose it is), what does the struggle look like since it has to be quite different from to the male counterpart?

 

[dove51]

My impression is that it is only men that struggle with masturbation and pornography and tend to use women as objects, and never the other way around.

Nope. Women have trouble with these things as well.

Are women never tempted to impure thoughts by looking at good-looking men?

Trust me, women are definitely tempted. We can lust just like men can, though it’s not always about how someone looks.

Does it never happen that the woman in a marriage might want to engage in the conjugal act while the man isn’t really up to it, rather than the other way around?

This surely happens. Some men have low sex drives, and some have high ones. It is the same for women.

Do women even have to struggle with concupiscence at all, and if that is the case (which i suppose it is), what does the struggle look like since it has to be quite different from to the male counterpart?

Many women do struggle with concupiscence. It’s just our culture that has made it seem that we do not. In fact, it was barely a century ago that it was even acknowledged by the medical/psychological fields that women do have sexual fantasies. That’s how lacking knowledge was back then, and how strong gender stereotypes prevailed.

I’m not sure if I can answer whether or not it is struggling with concupiscence looks the same as it does for men. I’m a woman, so I’m not sure how we compare to male sexuality. But I think sexuality is such a varied topic that it is bad to make broad generalizations. Men have more testosterone than women, which is the hormone that causes sexual attraction, but I would say that attraction is not always just a physical thing. But women’s sex drives are affected by their fertility cycles as well. Like I said, it’s hard to pin all these things down, because we humans are pretty complex creatures, and when you take something like lust, which is partly physical and partly mental, there isn’t much room for generalizations.

 

[fannypanny]

I just finished Christopher West’s commentary of John Paul II:s Theology of the Body called Theology of the Body Explained. Very interesting. A particular eye-opener is John Paul II:s teaching that concupiscence really can be overcome already in this life with the help of Christ’s grace. Not fully maybe and not without a lifelong spiritual battle, but we sure can improve a lot. And also the fact that looking away to avoid temptations is just the first step in battling concupiscence - the goal is to be able to look at a beautiful women without feeling any temptation at all but just see her for the person she is. Very uplifting.

However, while I sure can recognize myself in this as a male, I become a little curious whether females in general have the same struggles. My impression is that it is only men that struggle with masturbation and pornography and tend to use women as objects, and never the other way around.

Is this how things are?** Are women never tempted to impure thoughts by looking at good-looking men? **Does it never happen that the woman in a marriage might want to engage in the conjugal act while the man isn’t really up to it, rather than the other way around? Do women even have to struggle with concupiscence at all, and if that is the case (which i suppose it is), what does the struggle look like since it has to be quite different from to the male counterpart?

mm…well, im just going to go on my experiences and observations.
but yes it is true - women do also struggle with impurity issues. They can be somewhat different. If you want an everyday example - often teens who can’t get attention from a guy, will degrade themselves for attention (often in dress, speech, dance etc). So usually they are rooted to insecurity.