Difficult decision road block in my life

[underacloud]

unless you LOVE Brussels sprouts.

I have met such people…and tend to view them with great suspicion.

 

[wiggbuggie]

I for one like Brussel sprouts lol as for the poster who asked how long we have been together dating we where together almost 3 years and my family drama was there since the beginning.

 

[STF]

While the decision to marry requires serious and mature consideration, the feelings that lead you there should really be feelings of excitement.

Love is not about “feelings”. It is a decision.

 

[Xantippe]

Love is not about “feelings”. It is a decision.

Love is a whole bunch of things.

I would suggest reading C.S. Lewis’s The Four Loves for a more detailed account–we can’t and shouldn’t be white-knuckling it 100% of the time.

But just to give a quick summary of the book, there are natural loves (affection, friendship and erotic love) and they are excellent things as far as they go, but they only go so far. C.S. Lewis says that charity (divine love) is what helps us to purify and strengthen natural loves.

Experience suggests that ideally one ought to experience all four loves (affection, friendship, erotic love, charity) toward a prospective spouse.

Marriage is a big deal, and one needs all of the advantages one can going in.

 

[underacloud]

Love is not about “feelings”. It is a decision.

You will note that I did refer to it as a decision.

Yet feelings are not unimportant. And the love between spouses is not the same love as one has for their neighbour. The Song of Songs describes a very emotional basis to this love. There is a longing and desire in the spousal relationship described therein. All things being equal, it is part of God’s plan for marriage (and procreation).

I am making the suggestion - more on a practical basis than a strict moral basis - that if this desire is not there prior to marriage, that the marriage may not be ideal and each person should consider this aspect of it carefully.

 

[heidi_storage]

Marrying outside of your own culture or race and not having the approval (or at least absence of disapproval) of your future spouse’s family are absolutely going to bring additional challenges. Don’t do it if you’re not prepared to work through these challenges. Don’t do it if you can’t be a team, pulling together to build a strong family.

 

[Xantippe]

You will note that I did refer to it as a decision.

Yet feelings are not unimportant. And the love between spouses is not the same love as one has for their neighbour. The Song of Songs describes a very emotional basis to this love. There is a longing and desire in the spousal relationship described therein. All things being equal, it is part of God’s plan for marriage (and procreation).

I am making the suggestion - more on a practical basis than a strict moral basis - that if this desire is not there prior to marriage, that the marriage may not be ideal and each person should consider this aspect of it carefully.

Yes.