Difficult woman at work

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Hello everyone. There is a middle aged woman at work who is Catholic. Quite frankly, I don’t care for her company. She is constantly gossipping, she has mostly negative things to say, and she feigns kindness. I think she is a phony baloney as my grandmom would say. In the past I have heard her say 2 things about the Church. #1. That she doesn’t believe in ‘worshipping’ Mary and #2. That she doesn’t donate money to the Church because she “doesn’t want to support the priest’s lawyer funds for the sexual abuse scandal.” I try to avoid this woman at all costs. I pray for her and am polite to her. Today she saw my ashes and remarked how she was going to Mass tonight. I told her good! I am happy she still goes to Church. Yet after that she was talking with the woman who sits behind me and was basically making fun of priests and said how she thinks it is terrible that the money goes towards their lawyers…I am not an argumentative person and really choose my battles but I felt the need to say something, but being it is a place of work, I guess I opted for just praying for her instead. If I hear her say something in the future about “not donating to priest’s lawyer fees” what would be a good statement to tell her?
 
ACanthony said:
Hello everyone. There is a middle aged woman at work who is Catholic. Quite frankly, I don’t care for her company. She is constantly gossipping, she has mostly negative things to say, and she feigns kindness. I think she is a phony baloney as my grandmom would say. In the past I have heard her say 2 things about the Church. #1. That she doesn’t believe in ‘worshipping’ Mary and #2. That she doesn’t donate money to the Church because she “doesn’t want to support the priest’s lawyer funds for the sexual abuse scandal.” I try to avoid this woman at all costs. I pray for her and am polite to her. Today she saw my ashes and remarked how she was going to Mass tonight. I told her good! I am happy she still goes to Church. Yet after that she was talking with the woman who sits behind me and was basically making fun of priests and said how she thinks it is terrible that the money goes towards their lawyers…I am not an argumentative person and really choose my battles but I felt the need to say something, but being it is a place of work, I guess I opted for just praying for her instead. If I hear her say something in the future about “not donating to priest’s lawyer fees” what would be a good statement to tell her?
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You might ask her why she thinks her pastor is in need of a lawyer. Does she have direct knowledge of anything HE has done that warrants such a blanket accusation?
 
I think she was referring to the 20 or so Philadelphia area priests that were removed. One of the priests I believe was from her Parish.
 
ACanthony said:
I think she was referring to the 20 or so Philadelphia area priests that were removed. One of the priests I believe was from her Parish.
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That’s a whole different picture of the woman. While I don’t approve of what she is doing, or agree, I can certainly see where a person in a parish that is dealing with such a horror would feel angry or betrayed or confused. She may have some real emotions to work through, and this is her not so great response to it all. So praying for her may be a very wise act of kindness on your part.
 
IrishAm said:
That’s a whole different picture of the woman. While I don’t approve of what she is doing, or agree, I can certainly see where a person in a parish that is dealing with such a horror would feel angry or betrayed or confused. She may have some real emotions to work through, and this is her not so great response to it all. So praying for her may be a very wise act of kindness on your part.
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I definitely agree that it could be the case…but I recall when the 20 priests were removed her feeling betrayed or confused was not a response. I remember her being very giddy as if she had one more thing to gossip about. And the priest that was removed is not currently guilty of anything whatsoever. He was simply removed and I do not believe is being charged with anything. She lumped priests all in together and said it’s terrible what they are doing to kids.
 
ACanthony said:
Hello everyone. There is a middle aged woman at work who is Catholic. Quite frankly, I don’t care for her company. She is constantly gossipping, she has mostly negative things to say, and she feigns kindness. I think she is a phony baloney as my grandmom would say. In the past I have heard her say 2 things about the Church. #1. That she doesn’t believe in ‘worshipping’ Mary and #2. That she doesn’t donate money to the Church because she “doesn’t want to support the priest’s lawyer funds for the sexual abuse scandal.” I try to avoid this woman at all costs. I pray for her and am polite to her. Today she saw my ashes and remarked how she was going to Mass tonight. I told her good! I am happy she still goes to Church. Yet after that she was talking with the woman who sits behind me and was basically making fun of priests and said how she thinks it is terrible that the money goes towards their lawyers…I am not an argumentative person and really choose my battles but I felt the need to say something, but being it is a place of work, I guess I opted for just praying for her instead. If I hear her say something in the future about “not donating to priest’s lawyer fees” what would be a good statement to tell her?
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Why are you still talking to her?

You know of the saying, misery loves company? Well, it’s time that you took yourself out of her [casual] company. I would keep my interaction with someone who is 1) nosy 2) gossipy 3) insincere to the barest professional minimum and pray for her from a distance. Believe me, constant contact with people like that either wear you down or tear you down. The less they know about you the better.

I have a friend / co-worker like this woman, in the sense that she makes negative, intrusive comments about other people’s concerns behind their backs, while trumping her own problems. Over the last few months I’ve made myself “busy” and “tired” (which works, since we’re in different departments) around her while sparing her a minimum of polite (and general, non-personal) interaction.

I wouldn’t talk about religion in your workplace. (My workplace environment tends to allow it.) Just change the subject.
 
She is probably having a rough time staying strong in her faith, every time I hear of another scandal it fills my heart with sadness for all the children involved and the lifetime of difficulty they will have as adults. I cannot understand what a Priest must think when he commits such an act, but I don’t believe Catholicism caused that. You know what I would tell the woman at your work? I would suggest that she take that money she would give the Church, and instead donate it to a Catholic charity. It’s better than nothing and it can give her something positive to talk about, rather than focusing on the negatives. Either way, I will pray that she finds peace.
 
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