Difficulty giving money to the poor and beggars

[Sherry_G]

Feeling guilty about what we give to the poor, the homeless on the streets is a very good sign that our conscience is working just fine. Of course, none of us has an unlimited supply of resources and we do need to be good stewards, too. My policy is to give what I have available at the time, and pray that it will truly be of help. I know that there, but for the grace of God, go I. Scrupulocity can overtake us on this issue at times as we examine what great gifts we have been given and how best to share what we can with those in need. God knows our heart and our intentions. I support the local level of charities in my community and my church with boht financial resources and my time and effort. As for panhandlers, if I have any cash with me, I give it gladly. I will be judged for my actions and attitude. God does not expect me to be a mind reader and predict what the person who is asking me for help will do next. If I have nothing to give at that time, I apologize to the person and offer to pray for their needs.

 

[Shin]

Cast thy bread upon the running waters: for after a long time thou shalt find it again. Give a portion to seven, and also to eight: for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the earth. If the clouds be full, they will pour out rain upon the earth. If the tree fall to the south, or to the north, in what place soever it shall fall, there shall it be. He that observeth the wind, shall not sow: and he that considereth the clouds, shall never reap. As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones are joined together in the womb of her that is with child: so thou knowest not the works of God, who is the maker of all.

Ecclesiastes 11:1-5

 

[wxboss]

Matthew 6:21:

“For where thy treasure is, there will thy heart be also.”

 

[lelhajj]

there is a good lesson i learned from my husband about this topic. I remember that once a beggar came to my husband asking for money, my husband ask him if he wanted to work. The beggar said yes. Husband told him: i will give you this money so that you can go and cut your hair and come back to see me. Next day, the beggar appear, he was clean, with his hair cut. Husband told him: i will bring you some clothes tomorrow so you can work, so come tomorrow. Next day, husband brought some old shirts and a pair of shoes and gave them to the beggar. After that, i believe, he hired him.
The beggar was not a beggar anymore.
Sometimes we can do a little bit more, a step ahead, in a constructive way and really change the lives of some people.
I remember once a saw a homeless person at the church, all by himself. Nobody wanted to sit near him. He smelled bad and was dirty. I said to myself: go and sit down near him, let’s see if you can do it. I knew that i have to shake his hand when it was time to offer peace to our neighbor, anyway, i did it. I thought: maybe Jesus is inside that homeless person, how am i going to reject him? i shook his hand.
We think we are better than the poor and needy, but we are not. We are arrogant people who forget that one day might be also in those same shoes.
Sorry, if somebody has been annoyed by this post. I just expressing some of my own experiences. Thank you.

 

[crazzeto]

there is a good lesson i learned from my husband about this topic. I remember that once a beggar came to my husband asking for money, my husband ask him if he wanted to work. The beggar said yes. Husband told him: i will give you this money so that you can go and cut your hair and come back to see me. Next day, the beggar appear, he was clean, with his hair cut. Husband told him: i will bring you some clothes tomorrow so you can work, so come tomorrow. Next day, husband brought some old shirts and a pair of shoes and gave them to the beggar. After that, i believe, he hired him.
The beggar was not a beggar anymore.
Sometimes we can do a little bit more, a step ahead, in a constructive way and really change the lives of some people.
I remember once a saw a homeless person at the church, all by himself. Nobody wanted to sit near him. He smelled bad and was dirty. I said to myself: go and sit down near him, let’s see if you can do it. I knew that i have to shake his hand when it was time to offer peace to our neighbor, anyway, i did it. I thought: maybe Jesus is inside that homeless person, how am i going to reject him? i shook his hand.
We think we are better than the poor and needy, but we are not. We are arrogant people who forget that one day might be also in those same shoes.
Sorry, if somebody has been annoyed by this post. I just expressing some of my own experiences. Thank you.

What a wonderful story, thanks for sharing and how wonderful that you and your husband were blessed enough to be able to give a poor man a job! I’d particularly like to note the portion I bolded and highlighted, yes exactly! “Whatever you do for the least of your breatheren you do for me…”, Christ was certainly in that homelessman and how wonderful that you were able to recognize him!

We should all always keep this in mind when “dealing with” the poor. There’s a little… I guess saying that we have as Christians we use to humble our selves with respect to sinners:

“But for the grace of God, there go I”

Well personally I don’t think that applies only to being a particular type of sinner, it also applies directly to our situation in life. In particular that over which we had no control, the fact that we might have been middle class, upper middle class or perhaps even rich growing up. The fact that we were able to propetuate a certain standard of living in our lives moving forward. The fact that we can afford a nice home, more than one car, perhaps a minivan and maybe even an RV to for family vacations with a multitude of childeren.

These too are graces and blessings which we don’t really deserve, but for some reason we have them and some of our neighbors don’t. The greatest blessing in my life, for which I thank God almighty every day, was the blessing of seeing life for a commoner in a 3rd world country.

I was born in Peru, S. America. I grew up in Detroit MI (suburb of actually… anyway), but we visited Peru frequently. Seeing those people, live in that poverty, you must face the basic reality that they can not work their way out of their situation. It doesn’t matter what effort they put into it, their lot in life was decided, they are going to be poor and struggle and it will be propetuated for years to come.

But in 32 years of life I haven’t known that kind of struggle. I’ve been comfortable, living a nice middle class life in the USA. I’m sure there are many there suffering in Peru which deserve my life far more than I, but I have it and they don’t. We should always keep this in mind when deciding whether or not that “bumb on the corner” really “deserves” $5 of my hard earned money, out of my pocket.

 

[Sherry_G]

Crazyto and lelhajj: Exemplify the reason I love Catholic Answers so much! To whom much has been given, much is required.

 

[sedonaman]

Personally, I think it is better to give the money to a charity like Saint Vincent De Paul and then refer the poor people and the beggars that you see to their local Saint Vincent De Paul so that they may get help from them. At least then you know that the money will be spent on necessities rather than wants.

I am a Vincentian and can say this is not a 100% guarantee either. Most of the help they provide does go to the needy, and you’d go a long way to find a better organization, but there are charlatans who take advantage and Vincentians with hearts bigger than their brains.

 

[Barbara_Lee]

I feel we should not judge others and assume that they will use money for things we see unfit… but over the years of working with the homeless, I can tell you that they need many things. Try hitting your dollar store and pick up healthy snacks, juices, toothbrushes and toothpaste, toilet paper, combs, brushes, soap, etc. Throw them in a bag and hand them out freely. I have found they appreciate most anything.

Sometimes all we have to give is a kind word and a prayer, sometimes maybe that is what is needed most.

Enjoy your walk, look up and count your blessings.

 

[raaucoin]

I am an alcoholic and drug addict. Clean and sober 14 yrs. I haven’t ended up on the street begging-yet. And with God’s help and my program of recovery, may I never get to that “yet”.
But I do know people-good people- who did end up there. The "drunks, druggies and generic bums " mentioned earlier on this thread.
Someone told me a story of how she was in a real bad need of a fix. She had begun to really feel the effects of withdrawal. Had started with vomitting, and diarreah. People had offered her food. And yes, she turned it down. Don’t know about you, but food is the last thing I want when I’m sick; especially a greesy burger and fries. Some handed phone numbers of clinics and social service help. But her mind was too messed up to navigate finding a phone and making calls.

A man walked up and recognized her problem. Asked how much she needed. She told him. He gave her the money and put a card in her pocket with info on where to get help. After she got her fix, she found the card and was then able to make the call. The place sent someone to meet her and pick her up. She got help. And she was aware of the irony that if she hadn’t been given money for that fix, she wouldn’t have been able to get “fixed”.

It wasnt the ideal way of getting off drugs, but it worked out. I wonder if there are others out there who will die because someone didn’t want to give money that might be used for drugs/booze. We have no way of knowing. But we can be sure that we have no way of knowing.
There are many issues to consider in just handing out money. Personal safety, well being of the one asking, fostering dependance/enabling. I am faced with these often. But maybe there are still other things to consider as well. Maybe sometimes God would like me to just answer the cry of the poor and let Him take care of the rest.

 

[Quarles47]

Giving to the poor is a gift, not an obligation. Charity use to mean an unlimited loving-giving-kindness towards all others that expected no return. Giving something and demanding that “gift” only be used in a certain way isn’t a gift but a payment for services.
One will not be held accountable for giving in good faith when the receiver misrepresents themselves and abuses the gift. The one that abuses the gift will be the one held accountable.

P.S. Also, grandma is never in sin when she give money to her able body grandchildren.

 

[thevoiceofone]

I was homeless and jobless for about six months at the age of seventeen in Detroit (in the winter). Some hippies were kind enough to let me live in an illegal (no licenses, etc.) “coffee house” (for lack of a better title - they served coffee at shows). They ran a soup kitchen there every Sunday, so I had at least one good meal every week. The worst six day stretch between Sundays I can remember was when I had nothing to eat but sugar. I had to dumpster-dive more than once. I begged some, but I was usually too proud (and embarrassed) to do so. It can take a lot of humility to ask strangers for money (remember that when somebody asks you for it). I had a lot of homeless friends, and most of them were not sane. Some of them were on drugs if they could get some, or booze, but most of them were just crazy… not necessarily dangerous, but not right in the head.

At the time, I wasn’t right in the head, either. If I got any money, I got cigarettes or drugs first, food second.

Today, I am an accountant. I have been happily married for ten years. I have two daughters. I’m expecting the birth of my son in less than two weeks. I own a home. We have a minivan, etc…

Here’s my point:
I could have died at the age of seventeen, a lost and helpless sinner. I could have gone to hell. The contributions I received then kept me alive so that today I can live a good life and produce good fruit, providing for my growing family who are being raised in the Church and to live by her teachings. Hopefully, they will produce good fruit themselves and grace will multiply because of it.

I will echo the truth of what most other people are saying here… do not judge anyone. Even if your instinct tells you a beggar will use money received to purchase items you don’t agree with (tobacco, drugs, alchohol, etc.), give to them anyway. If they get $5 from you and other people give them cash too, enough to total $30, they may spend $25 for a bag of weed and $5 for some food. Don’t get hung up on that. Consider your contribution the food portion out of the total, if that helps, but give without thinking about it too much. Give with love. Smile at them. Ask their names, and tell them you will pray for them. Be a witness. Like me, they may not be homeless, jobless, addicted and/or crazy for the rest of their lives. Until the last day, there is hope for all of us.

I would also like to add that giving money to charitable organizations is fine, but I think it’s better to give to the people directly. Most of the people who really need it aren’t able to even get to those places, let alone meet some of their standards. In negative thirty degrees in January in Detroit, I would have died trying to get to the soup kitchen on the other side of town.

 

[sedonaman]

I feel we should not judge others and assume that they will use money for things we see unfit…

This assumes ‘our’ judgment is always wrong. Why do ‘we’ always assume the worst in ‘ourselves’? Do ‘we’ get some feeling of moral superiority by criticizing ‘our’ judgment? Prudence is a virtue, so the bishops have said. The concern is not to judge others. It is to avoid facilitating self-destructive activity, and I see nothing wrong with it.

 

[bluejeanlady]

None of you must be recovering alcoholics or addicts or you would realize that if the panhandlers are, then many of them need the alcohol or drug to live. Without it they may go in to withdrawls and die. It is not for us to judge what they use it for…that is a holier than thou thought. Walk a mile in anothers shoes they say. I have been recovering for 12 years and give to them all when I can. Even a few coins of pocket change. The drink they have may keep them alive long enough to allow God to get them to treatment. When in Wash. for the march for life I saved my coins and took them with me…we encoraged the kids to do also if their conscious drove them. I accidently gave away my pocket medal and even in the mass of people that street person found me and tried to give it back. The people around me were amazed as we were having a hard time staying in our own group. I told him I thought God wanted him to have it and that I was a recovering alcoholic and there was hope for him. Do you really think he got the medal by accident? Do you think it was hard to reveal my past in front of all the people in my group? God leads us if we are truely humble. Maybe we should all be giving a few coins and a blessed medal, or a list of AA/NA meetings.

 

[mgontaryk]

I live near next to Philadelphia where Sr. Mary Scullion has been an internationally known advocate and served homeless people for decades. She advises not giving money as it helps perpetuate their homelessness. Giving recognition is important, a greeting or God bless you. Support your local services for homeless people.
Mary Ellen

 

[BigRedpg51]

Dear notredame,

When my company used to send me on business trips to Pittsburgh, I would always have money left over from my expense account advance. I would purposely look for the homeless poor people around Newark Airport as I was walking my bags through the airport to the parking lot. Whenever I would encounter one I would give them $20. If a person was sleeping on a bus bench, I would quietly slip a $20 bill into their shirt pocket so as to not wake them up.

One day, as usual, I was returning through Newark Airport and I had $50 in my pocket – 2 twenties and 1 ten. Just as I was exiting the airport terminal I spotted 3 homeless people sitting near the doorway, chatting with each other. I just stood there, debating as to how I would divide up $50 evenly between 3 people. “Give two of them $20, and $10 to the third one…” or “Give all $50 to one of them and ask that person to share it with the other two…” I just couldn’t figure it out, and it was making me very uneasy. So, out of total frustration I decided not to give it to any of them. I was afraid that they would fight each other, feeling that one of them got cheated out of $10…or something like that.

As I continued out through the parking areas to my car I started to feel really really guilty. I felt totally miserable by the time I reached my car. Finally, I said, “OK LORD!!! Next time I don’t care how much I have, or however many they are…I’ll get rid of it all! I promise.”

In about a week and a half I found myself returning once again from Pittsburgh: THIS TIME I WAS PREPARED!!! I had 3 $20 bills in my pocket, and it would be easy to just give them away to the first 3 homeless people I met. …or so I thought. Even though it was bitter cold outside – the middle of winter – I could not find even one homeless person in the terminal. Then, as I was walking past the bus shelters, once again…no one! Under the arrivals and departures ramps… no one!!! What was going on here?

That night I returned home with 3 $20 bills in my pocket. I couldn’t understand why I was not able to find anyone to give them to, so I asked God that question when I was doing my evening prayers. It was just then…when God spoke up. “I will not always give you the privilege.” …was what I heard as sure as if someone was in my bedroom speaking to me.

He helped me to realize that, in my engineer’s mind, I had been too complex a week ago. What would a simple child have done? She would have just walked up to the three men and held out the money, not caring which one took it…or whether they would share it with each other.

I was not being simple…like a child. And Our Lord did not give me the privilege to correct that situation the next week. He wanted to teach me a valuable life-lesson.

Be simple…like a child.

Give without expecting anything in return.

Don’t care about what your gift will accomplish…don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.

Sound familiar? It should…it’s all in the Bible.

So now, whenever I see a poor or homeless person, I try my best to be simple…and just give whatever I can. I don’t worry about what they will spend it on. I don’t expect any thanks. I just remember that Jesus taught me, "Whatever you do to the least of these little ones, you do unto Me."

…and that’s enough.

I hope that this helps you.

By the way…I too am trying to enter the priesthood.

God bless you!
John

 

[lelhajj]

I think if we are able to give money to the poor and to a charity organization is good. As we have read the past experiences of some people here that had been in those shoes, they are the voice of those unfortunated people and as they have stated: if it wasn’t for the money they have received, maybe their luck had been different from what they are now: good people like anybody of us. We should never think twice about giving, if we do so, then we are not giving it from our heart. We are not going to become poorer for a dollar or two we give away, but, i can tell you: God will appreciate your kindness. Whatever good we can do, we should do, in any way we can, even if we think that nobody needs it, sometimes a kind word, it’s all that a person in such condition needs. The self image of these poor people has been shattered, why not help? it takes a lot to ask for money or food, why turn your face to the other side and try to be blind or deaf to their begging? the more we have, even if we don’t really deserve it to have it, but we were lucky and God blessed us in that way, the more we should care about the poor. We heard two good examples above, their own experiences. If it wasn’t for the help they received in their time of need, they wouldn’t be here right now with us.
How many things we throw away often? sometimes we can give them some jobs, a kind word, to pray with them, to ask them what do they need. Just one word, might change the decision of somebody trying to commit suicide. Does it take too much to give? When we give, whatever we can, and even if we can not at that moment, we can give affection, when we do that, we feel happy. Never think twice about giving. Do not judge, only the unfortunated people know what they have suffered in their lives to end the way they did.
I belive this people need so much of our affection, of a kind word. Each one of us has so much to give as human beings.

 

[betty_ann]

In some places, begging is a business with all the orchestrated come-ons that will grab your heart. After a couple of weeks in Paris, I stopped handing out money to everyone – I’d seen a few of the same people in different parts of the city plying their “trade” – although some of them I still couldn’t say no to.

Here in the US, I really don’t hesitate. There are many, many religious and community organizations and programs that work with the homeless and hungry, true, but many can’t take advantage of those services beyond a simple meal or bed for the night. You have to be a part of “the system” to know how it functions and to function in it – you have to be able to follow rules, to obey laws, to “fit in” with the rest of society – and SO many of these people just don’t have the capacity to do that.

Some people you think should be working may be disabled in a way that’s not apparent, or they’ve been looking for work for literally years – or no one will hire them for whatever reason. They may be drunks, druggies or just generic bums – yet, they are our brothers and sisters.

We’re told plainly in the Gospel that what we do for them, we do for Jesus – that’s enough incentive for me.

Well and truly said.

 

[armymom72]

I read your post with interest as there are now way too many homeless people in the area where I live. They seem to be on every street corner and in every parking lot. We cannot give to all of them, and sometimes it is dangerous to try to give money to any of them. What I try to do in these cases is to offer up a prayer to Jesus to provide for their needs. I believe that the Lord will look favorably on those who at least in their hearts acknowledge these poor unfortunate souls. Jesus said what we do for the least of his brothers we do for Him, so how could he not be pleased that we offer prayers for those less fortunate than ourselves.

 

[Catholic_poet]

I read through all of these comments with much interest. I live out in the suburbs and we do not normally have the drug users and alcholics begging on the sidewalks as we pass by, as I know happens in the city. But in this terrible economy there has been a definite increase in the number of times I’ve run into people begging in the church parking lot, or they’ve come door to door in our neighborhood.

I have to say I was a firm member of the “send them to a rescue shelter because the money you give will only go to waste” school of thought, but having read through these answers I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to try and give more and judge less. Bless you all!

Catholic Poet