Difficulty with sex dreams

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SilverDragon

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I’m back to having disturbing sex dreams. They involve a lot of fetishistic behavior that is borderline criminal and often sacrilegious. I wake up aroused and feeling filthy. I can’t pray in the mornings anymore because I feel too filthy after the sacrilege I was just thinking of.

It’s been almost 5 years now since I masturbated. I don’t find myself really struggling with sexuality in my waking life - if anything I seem to have practically no sex drive outside of these dreams.

I’ve tried praying before bed, I’ve tried sleeping with sacramentals (but I cannot bear to touch them after these dreams). Nothing seems to work. There’s no Catholic counseling, and I’m too ashamed to admit that I even know how to masturbate to a priest or anyone at church.
 
Never be ashamed of your weakness when speaking to a priest. They are there to help you, and won’t be embarrassed by your struggles. They are trained to help you, so seek out their assistance. They won’t bat an eye at hearing that you struggled with sexual urges and masturbation, that’s probably the most commonly confessed sin in this day and age. That’s not to say that it’s no big deal, it really is; but it’s not something that’s going to cause them to think less of you.

I encourage you to seek out a good and faithful priest who will be able to help you far better than most of us.
 
Dreams are not a sin since we have no control over our dreams. If this bothers you severely, it should be discussed with a counseling professional.
 
Your sleep right? And did not later consent? (to thoughts etc)?

Did not will it…etc or did not seek for such to happen or seek to cause it…

Something that happens when your asleep is usually not matter for confession. For one is not willing it. Not wanting it. Not choosing it. Sin involves the will. Do I sin if I murder someone in a dream? No.

If such happens and one wakes - simply turn your attention elsewhere and do not consent to anything.

Ignore the feelings of being “filthy” and turn to God in prayer and even make use of those sacramentals.

Having such involuntary dreams happen to you without wanting them or consenting to any sins - *makes you no more filthy than do having dreams about being eaten by a bear makes you bear poop. *
 
ProdglArchitect said:
Never be ashamed of your weakness when speaking to a priest. They are there to help you, and won’t be embarrassed by your struggles. They are trained to help you, so seek out their assistance. They won’t bat an eye at hearing that you struggled with sexual urges and masturbation, that’s probably the most commonly confessed sin in this day and age. That’s not to say that it’s no big deal, it really is; but it’s not something that’s going to cause them to think less of you.

I encourage you to seek out a good and faithful priest who will be able to help you far better than most of us.
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The struggle I’m having is that the way I was taught, masturbation was a man’s sin. It’s not something women struggle with, unless they are basically incurable nymphomaniacs. So I’m sure he’s heard it a lot - but has he heard it from women?
Bookcat said:
Your sleep right? And did not later consent? (to thoughts etc)?

Did not will it…etc or did not seek for such to happen or seek to cause it…

Something that happens when your asleep is usually not matter for confession. For one is not willing it. Not wanting it. Not choosing it. Sin involves the will. Do I sin if I murder someone in a dream? No.

If such happens and one wakes - simply turn your attention elsewhere and do not consent to anything.

Ignore the feelings of being “filthy” and turn to God in prayer and even make use of those sacramentals.

Having such involuntary dreams happen to you without wanting them or consenting to any sins - *makes you no more filthy than do having dreams about being eaten by a bear makes you bear poop. *
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They do seem to be dreams, although I definitely wake up feeling the physical aftereffects. It’s very confusing - often I seem to wake up, consider the matter, and give consent to the act, only to wake up again after the act is done.
PaulfromIowa said:
Dreams are not a sin since we have no control over our dreams. If this bothers you severely, it should be discussed with a counseling professional.
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There’s really no counseling professional in the area that I would expect to handle this issue.
 
SilverDragon said:
The struggle I’m having is that the way I was taught, masturbation was a man’s sin. It’s not something women struggle with, unless they are basically incurable nymphomaniacs.
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This is very incorrect. I mean, that women don’t deal with this, or have sexual thoughts.
 
There’s nothing a priest hasn’t heard more than once if he’s not a rookie. Don’t be ashamed, go to one.

ICXC NIKA
 
SilverDragon,

Have you considered that you may be suffering from Spiritual Warfare? According to Our Lady’s Mercy House, a Catholic Lay Apostolate of Deliverance, Healing and Spiritual Warfare, “*t is common for people with sexual sins (including sexual fantasy, masturbation, fornication, pornography, adultery and homosexual practices) to be harassed or seduced nightly by sex demons (demons of lust) with vivid sexual dreams and sexually explicit nightmares. (Sex demons can invade our dreams with pornographic fantasies of having sexual relations – even with members of the same sex!) But some people are attacked, molested or raped nightly by sex demons (incubi and succubi).”

Although you stated that it has been 5 years since you have masturbated, perhaps there may be some unconfessed sin in your past which has opened a door to these attacks. It doesn’t have to be a sexual sin. It could be an abortion, tampering in the Occult, or a curse (yes they’re real) or some other sin. If you have dabbled in the Occult, even if these sins have been confessed they need to be renounced.

I would advise that you pray to the Holy Spirit to reveal any unconfessed sins and thereby make a good Confession. You might also want to consider making a General Confession whereby you confess all the sins of your life. That may be enough, along with living a Sacramentally fortified life, to stop the dream attacks. If you continue to suffer thereafter, then I would suggest speaking with a priest since you may need some form of deliverance. You should not be ashamed, this is more common than you think. I applaud you for your strength in searching for help in the first place.

AIso, if you have any pornographic or immoral material within your home I would advise that you destroy and discard them. Demons will use anything sinful in our homes to gain legal rights to harrass.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

God bless,

Josie*
 
You’re not alone here. In fact, I have had some sexual dreams in the last week - no idea what brought them on. This might just be residue from the past; I’m really not sure; I don’t really care as there is no need for me to know. If I give these involuntary thoughts/dreams any attention, they will only gain force. If they occur, an act of love suffices to efface any stain that might be contracted.

I put an image of Our Lady next to my bed, and the dreams stopped. You might try this.

Pax!
 
PaulfromIowa said:
Dreams are not a sin since we have no control over our dreams. If this bothers you severely, it should be discussed with a counseling professional.
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Paul makes an excellent point. Perhaps what is disturbing you most is the content of the dreams in case I agree a visit to a counseling professional may help you sort things out and be at peace.

Mary.
 
Josie33 said:
SilverDragon,

Have you considered that you may be suffering from Spiritual Warfare? According to Our Lady’s Mercy House, a Catholic Lay Apostolate of Deliverance, Healing and Spiritual Warfare, “*t is common for people with sexual sins (including sexual fantasy, masturbation, fornication, pornography, adultery and homosexual practices) to be harassed or seduced nightly by sex demons (demons of lust) with vivid sexual dreams and sexually explicit nightmares. (Sex demons can invade our dreams with pornographic fantasies of having sexual relations – even with members of the same sex!) But some people are attacked, molested or raped nightly by sex demons (incubi and succubi).”

Although you stated that it has been 5 years since you have masturbated, perhaps there may be some unconfessed sin in your past which has opened a door to these attacks. It doesn’t have to be a sexual sin. It could be an abortion, tampering in the Occult, or a curse (yes they’re real) or some other sin. If you have dabbled in the Occult, even if these sins have been confessed they need to be renounced*.

I would advise that you pray to the Holy Spirit to reveal any unconfessed sins and thereby make a good Confession. You might also want to consider making a General Confession whereby you confess all the sins of your life. That may be enough, along with living a Sacramentally fortified life, to stop the dream attacks. If you continue to suffer thereafter, then I would suggest speaking with a priest since you may need some form of deliverance. You should not be ashamed, this is more common than you think. I applaud you for your strength in searching for help in the first place.

AIso, if you have any pornographic or immoral material within your home I would advise that you destroy and discard them. Demons will use anything sinful in our homes to gain legal rights to harrass.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

God bless,

Josie

Sex demons? Seriously? Maybe it’s the OP’s anxiety/scrupulosity making it worse.
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Jon_Mallory said:
Sex demons? Seriously? Maybe it’s the OP’s anxiety/scrupulosity making it worse.
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I’m sorry but it is possible. The OP has raised some red flags:

“They involve a lot of fetishistic behavior that is borderline criminal and often sacrilegious.” It’s one thing to have a sexual dream, its another thing to have a sexual dream involving fetishistic behavior that is borderline criminal and often sacrilegious, which is a symptom of demonic activity.

“They do seem to be dreams, although I definitely wake up feeling the physical aftereffects. It’s very confusing - often I seem to wake up, consider the matter, and give consent to the act, only to wake up again after the act is done.” The OP has not specified what the physical aftereffects are, whether its an orgasm or some other effect, but this coupled with the fact that *she awakens to give consent *and then resumes the dream draws concern. To whom in her waking state is the OP giving consent?

This may not mean anything to someone who has not experienced the demonic, but as one who has, I have offered appropriate suggestions on what she should do in order to remedy the situation.

You don’t have to take my word for it, exorcist Fr. Gary Thomas attests to the reality of sex demons. “Incubus demons are real. Incubus demons are demons who will have intercourse, who have demonic attachments to people and who will basically rape them. The person will have all of the experiences of what it is like to have intercourse, but not be able to see the entity. They’ll feel the orgasm, they’ll feel everything leading up to that and they will very clearly say, ‘everything I’m feeling is what I would feel in the state of intercourse and yet there isn’t anything there. But I feel it.’” (48:04 mark)

Fr. Gary follows this up to say that he will advise them to follow up with a therapist (which is procedural), but that he also listens to hear if there have been any doors that have been opened that may have invited the incubus demon in. This is why I suggested that the OP go to Confession, which (if this is in fact spiritual) may be enough to close any doors and stop the attacks.

God bless,

Josie
 
There is a condition called false awakening, where you seem to awaken, only to go into another dream. Since you are not fully awake, your morality status would remain unchanged.

ICXC NIKA
 
I should be clear - what’s happening, as far as I can tell, is that I dream that I “wake”, deliberate about the sinfulness of the act, and proceed to masturbate, only to realize upon actually awakening that it was all still a very vivid dream. I do wake up aroused - I’m not sure if I can tell if it’s a full orgasm or not, but I definitely awake physically feeling extremely aroused and feeling filthy that I became aroused at such material.

I made a general confession on my conversion and have not been involved in any sort of sexual immorality since then. I was never involved with the demonic in any way.
 
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