Dilemma about complicated girlfriend status

[UG_Teoh]

I am having big dilemma with decision either to accept back or leave my girlfriend… Our relationship is complicated. We know each other during university, start dating for about a year before break up. Within a year I caught her cheated 2 times, 1 is guy sending flirtatious SMS, another time is seeing her going out with a guy where she told me she is back home for semester break. After many frequent argument and denial, we agree to go separate road. We are very sad but I could not accept her denial…

We end up heading on our own study option nevertheless still contact with each other because there is feeling between us. After both os us came back to home country, our relationship gets better. Not long after that we get back as a couple. She is happy and I am happy for this we manage to get through the obstacle that He has put us in.

Half a year back I believe He has put us through another obstacle. We argue frequently for small disagreement, frequently on small issue that she does not like me doing it… Whenever she is mad, we will not talk for several days…it get worse whenever I try talking to her. So, I decided to wait for her to contact me when she feels calm down. The waiting part for her to contact me is painful. I work in Singapore that require a lot of travel and also busy working on alternate Saturday and Sunday. With frequent argument lately I sometimes do not meet her on weekend because she is still angry… In summary, sometimes did not meet up for few weeks.

Because of argument we seldom talk to each other and seldom meet up. Do not know how each other is doing well or not… It is becoming difficult for me for 2 months because of this. But in my darkness He has given me a light that she surprise me by contacting me last week. Our conversation is smooth, until today is getting back to near normal. Inside our conversation we apologized, she has the heart to continue relationship, she confessed to the name of God that she has never meet anyone who touch her heart after so many years… Knowing that we are the correct person as a couple, she will bring me to meet up with her friends and family for the first time once we correct this relationship…

My dilemma is whether to accept again this relationship? She always say that I do not have trust with her. Should I have trust this time after all incidents that happened? I thought I know her well after many years but sometimes I have the feeling that I do not know her… I am not popular guy amongst her circle. But has always be there for her whenever she needs anyone to comfort.

It will be 3 celebration if we correct this relationship, birthday, anniversary and Christmas… Praise the Lord for his faithfulness, decision become easier when your will to please God out weighs your will to please the world. If it is your will, let it be done. In Jesus name I pray… please show me the correct road to take.

 

[EasterJoy]

Don’t blame God for your obstacles. This is all on you two.

1. She has lied to you, and more than once, which she denied when caught.
2. You don’t trust her, she knows it, and in spite of (1) she doesn’t think it is justified.
3. You and her friends haven’t hit it off, and she doesn’t want to introduce you to her family and other friends unless you…what, give her some kind of guarantee about your relationship? What’s that about?
4. You argue when you have differences of opinion (no, this is not the norm for happy couples)
5. You also give each other the silent treatment when you’re angry, and at least one of you carries these grudges from one day to the next, instead of cooling down and working things out.
6. …*she confessed to the name of God that she has never meet anyone who touch her heart after so many years…I am not popular guy amongst her circle. But has always be there for her whenever she needs anyone to comfort…*from what I gather, you’re her shoulder to cry on, but not someone she insists on having in the middle of her social life. Wow, what an honor that must be!

You do not feel you know her…you are probably right. More to the point, if you were my brother I’d tell you that you already know enough.

Let her go, grieve a bit, then keep looking. This is not someone who is going to make it easier for you to live the Christian life. I would be surprised if a marriage between you would last, let alone be happy. If she doesn’t really grow up, I’m not sure at all that she’s going to make anybody happy.

 

[priscilla1714]

Im on the same boat. he cheated on me. I cant trust him and dont know if to end or continue relationship. I feel strongly that God wills us to b together but im afraid to get hurt again. I just gave it all up to God today and im praying a lot. I think im going to ask him to give us time apart so i can focus on my life with God. Im sad of all the fighting and mistrust. God Bless you my friend

 

[EasterJoy]

Im on the same boat. he cheated on me. I cant trust him and dont know if to end or continue relationship. I feel strongly that God wills us to b together but im afraid to get hurt again. I just gave it all up to God today and im praying a lot. I think im going to ask him to give us time apart so i can focus on my life with God. Im sad of all the fighting and mistrust. God Bless you my friend

One time can be a misunderstanding, twice a mistake, but three times shows character. If you don’t come to an agreement about what “cheating” means, just give it up.

 

[Elisabethelisa]

I totally agree with Easter Joy on everything she said. Let it go it’s not worth it. Good luck anyway.

 

[smallgirl01]

let it go. if she doesnt treat you with respect now its highly unlikely she will treat you better later on.
am sure God will help you find someone you truely deserve.

 

[enbell]

This is not healthy. You deserve better. No doubt it will be difficult but you need to move on. “He,” however, has not placed these obstacles in front of you. You are in my prayers.

 

[c_sh83]

I believed she has another partner other than you…what I understand from your problem

Let go…you shall find a better person…
Anyone will definitely be better than her

 

[aicirt]

I think you should continue looking too. You are always there for her when she needs someone. She needs to be there for you too.

Also what is your definition of “girlfriend status”. Unless she has a ring on her finger, she’s just that, a girl friend who is free to date whomever she wants. Apparently, you are not in the position to make a commitment and neither is she. Accept it.

Consider also that you might find having her a safety net. Maybe telling yourself you have someone saves you from going out and socializing. Focus on your career and your own interests. Give yourself a year to enjoy your life and know what it is you really want.