Dilemma: Which High School Is Right?

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Batt1964

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I am looking for advice. My oldest child is entering high school next year. We are torn between sending her to all girls catholic school or a coed catholic school. I have a son who is two years behind her and another daughter behind him.

The issue centers around the benefits of having all three go the same school or the benefits of sending them to their respective same sex schools.

I would love to hear your thoughts.
 
Batt1964 said:
I am looking for advice. My oldest child is entering high school next year. We are torn between sending her to all girls catholic school or a coed catholic school. I have a son who is two years behind her and another daughter behind him.

The issue centers around the benefits of having all three go the same school or the benefits of sending them to their respective same sex schools.

I would love to hear your thoughts.
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I don’t know if things are the same as when I was a student, but I know that growing up in Miami and attending a Catholic school, my parents got a discount if my siblings attended the same school. I went to a co-ed Catholic HS.
 
I am a huge proponent of same sex schools. I sent my daughter to an all-girls school after seeing a show (way back in the '80’s) about how teachers favored boys. I did agree that this happens after considering my own upbringing in co-ed public schools. If you can swing it, I recommend all girls/all boys schools.
 
Batt1964 said:
I The issue centers around the benefits of having all three go the same school or the benefits of sending them to their respective same sex schools.

I would love to hear your thoughts.
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grandkids go to all-boy and all-girl Catholic high schools respectively, mainly because the schools chosen are the top academically and in how well their students seem to retain their Catholic identity. For them it works out best, and the kids are thriving, all National Merit scholars, but you may not have that much choice where you live. The car-pooling and driving have been hard but manageable, and GDD now has license and a car which eases things.

As always the choice depends on the student, the school and the family situation-transportation, schedule etc. Impossible to give a general answer that is going to be right for all students and all families.

Now after having worked closely with Catholic youth for many years in a CCD setting I am a strong proponent of single-sex classes and schools on many levels, where it is possible.
 
Thanks so much for the responses. The advantages you’re giving for same sex schools are good ones - beyond what i was already considering. On the coed side, I had not considered the discount rather was more focused on the fact that my kids could go to school together and this may be their last chance to do that. I also am thinking about how it may be easier to continue growing our faith, our community and our family. Unfortunately, logisitics come in to play a lot here as well.

Your advice is all appreciated and welcome.
 
Look at the school and see how catholic.

The co-ed or same-sex nature is irrelevant if the school will teach your child fluff that may end up turning her away from the Church.
 
Also look at how good the schools are academically. I, with my parents, made the choice not to attend a Catholic HS because the ones in my area, although good, could not compare to the HS I did attend academically. It ended up being the right decision, without any doubt. You have an even better choice, since both of the schools in question are Catholic. So I would look at how they compare in orthodoxy (already mentioned), and how they compare in academics generally.
 
So many variables…

In general, I think single gender schools are a good thing if you can manage it.

I used to be an 8th grade teacher and have former students in a variety of high schools. Two of my girls from last year come to mind. One was mature, a strong leader, confident in herself and a good student. The other was immature, boy crazy and not a hard worker. (at least that’s what she was like in 8th grade!) Both are in co-ed schools. Guess which one I worry about??

Alot depends on the student …
 
Batt1964 said:
I am looking for advice. My oldest child is entering high school next year. We are torn between sending her to all girls catholic school or a coed catholic school. I have a son who is two years behind her and another daughter behind him.

The issue centers around the benefits of having all three go the same school or the benefits of sending them to their respective same sex schools.

I would love to hear your thoughts.
Click to expand...
I say co-ed.
 
Batt1964 said:
I am looking for advice. My oldest child is entering high school next year. We are torn between sending her to all girls catholic school or a coed catholic school. I have a son who is two years behind her and another daughter behind him.

The issue centers around the benefits of having all three go the same school or the benefits of sending them to their respective same sex schools.

I would love to hear your thoughts.
Click to expand...
Single-sex schools have huge advantages, for girls as well as boys. But then, so do co-ed schools. For what it’s worth, as a high school teacher myself, I’d say base your decision on which school:
  • works best for your family logistically;
  • ranks higher in scholastic league tables and has the highest number of college-attending graduates; and
    offers the most extra-curricular of interest to your daughter.
Luna
 
In general,

I think it is best if girls are in a same-sex school. Most teens are naturally competitive with their own sex and it’s best if girls compete with each other academically and/or athletically rather than over the attention of boys. (They will still compete over boys but as much.)

(Boys do better in same sex schools too but apparently not so much as girls do.)

However the individual benefits need to be weighed against the benefits to the whole family. There is the issue of having to deal with transportation to multiple schools. And there is the cost of Catholic high schools. It may be that sending everyone to the same school saves enough in time and money that it is the only reasonable option. (And as they say, time* is* money for parents who have to work to earn the money for the schooling.)
 
There is so much difference between one high school and the next that I would be inclined to answer this not in general, but in terms of how the specific schools fit your children. You may decide that your son belongs in a co-ed school while your daughters would prefer their local single-sex school, or vice versa.

I think National Catholic Schools Week is at the end of January. If you could arrange for your children to meet students at their prospective schools and to visit them yourselves, that could help a great deal.

I would also suggest that you go to some varsity sporting events, and watch the conduct in the student section of the stands. You might even find out if it is possible to attend a school dance. (You, not your kids.) You can learn a lot about the social atmosphere at a particular school by attending after-school events, where the students are more free to act according to their own lights, and don’t realize they’re being watched.
 
SMHW said:
In general,

I think it is best if girls are in a same-sex school. Most teens are naturally competitive with their own sex and it’s best if girls compete with each other academically and/or athletically rather than over the attention of boys.
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I think this is generally true (according to research), but whether any particular girl does better or worse in a classroom with or without a gender mix depends on the girl. Some girls do not do well in a school of undiluted female-female dramas.
 
EasterJoy said:
I think this is generally true (according to research), but whether any particular girl does better or worse in a classroom with or without a gender mix depends on the girl. Some girls do not do well in a school of undiluted female-female dramas.
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:sad_yes:

My Catholic grammar school would separate the boys and the girls starting in 6th grade. Some of my close friends were boys and we were friends since kindergarten.

Exit boys from the class, enter a few “mean girls”. Not a happy place for me. 😦
 
Ah…one more thought. See if you can attend a student-body Mass. You might learn a great deal about where the faith fits into the student life at each school.
 
I went to co-ed Catholic high school. I liked it a lot and I also grew very close with my brothers while I commuted there. I have many friends who have attended single-sex schools. They have a lot of positive things to say about it. I am currently a nursing student and many of my classes are all girls by default and I do enjoy that because it is less distracting :rolleyes:. However, that’s not how it’s going to be in the real world. I would recommend having your daughter do shadow days at both and see which she likes best. Good luck!
 
Talk to your daughter about this and see what she thinks. Personally, I never related well to girls and I would have felt very lonely and isolated in an all-girls school. I participated in lots of extra-curricular activities as a teen, most of them very academic in nature. (Quiz bowl, speech, etc) Boys were more serious about academic pursuits, and being able to compete with them and come out on top gave me a lot of confidence and pushed me to go further. It also meant that I had very healthy relationships with boys in high school. They respected me as their equal, and throughout those four years I had lots of male friends and felt great about myself, so I never really saw the need to date for validation.
 
Same sex schools are utterly abhorrent, and completely and utterly unnatural.

How is it normal or healthy to grow up amongst a community of the same gender?
 
I see your dilemma here. If you opt for the same sex schools, your children will never have a sibling in high school with them, since your line up is girl, boy, girl.

I do like the idea of same sex schools, but I don’t know if I would choose it in lieu of sending each kid to high school alone. Would the older daughter and younger daughter overlap a year?

Ours are close enough so the only time we will have one in high school alone is the first one for one year, and the last one for three. Otherwise there will be two, sometimes three in high school at the same time. It’s comforting for me to think that they have each other there. I also like the fact that in later years they will be able to have conversations about high school since they will have had most of the same teachers, classes, lunches, dances, etc. It’s a way to connect the oldest (now 16) and the youngest (now almost 5), since the youngest will be 8 when the oldest leaves. Ahhh, sometimes I think too much!

How lucky you have more than one Catholic high school in the area to choose from!
 
Everyone in this forum is amazing! This is all such good (name removed by moderator)ut and we will take it into account. My daughter will ultimately make the decision. The perspective offered here helps tremendously.

She is fortunate to have a choice like this in front of her and to have people like you sharing valid (name removed by moderator)ut. I know she will thrive in either school.

Some of the answers to previous questions are: the girls school is Francisan, the coed is Lasallian. Both schools have great academic stats. She and I have visited both schools and she’s done shadow days. We have looked into all the classes, extra-curricular activities, discipline, uniform and community info. My daughter is a hard worker but not an aggressive or overly competitive girl. She is not boy crazy either. She goes to a Catholic coed now and is doing very well. She would be a junior when my son enters as a freshman. My youngest would be a freshman when he becomes a senior. We have actually charted the pluses and minuses of each school and the result is a virtual tie. This will not be an easy decision! Thanks again for all your words of wisdom.
 
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