Dilemma with a transgender patient

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Gabrielle

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Hello guys!

I am a nurse, and well, I’m in a dilemma. I have a patient who is in the process of dying who is transgender. This is a man who likes to be addressed as a woman. I obviously know that the transgender ideology is sinful, but my patient is dying and I don’t really want to aggravate him right now. I try my best to avoid pronouns since I don’t want to call him a her, but I was wondering what you all believe is the best way to go about things in this situation. I will be taking care of him for the next three days and it can get complicated.
 
My opinion: using the patient’s preferred pronoun is no way means that you condone or cooperate with any sin the patient commits.
You are merely being considerate toward a dying patient.

Also the ‘transgender ideology’ is sinful but it doesn’t follow that your patient is committing sin. They may only be the victims of deception, or simply honestly mistaken on the facts.
 
I agree call them what they want. Try to think of it as obedience to the person, to your hospital, to the law of your country and also an act of charity. All those God would want. I agree also that you should pray for him/her. Very difficult position to be in I can imagine.
 
Agreed with all of the above. But if this is difficult, you might use ‘they’ as the pronoun. It’s not grammatically accurate, but it’s such a common error, no one will notice
 
It may be charitable to use his preferred name, but if you can remind him that he has a Father in heaven who will be calling out his name and to listen to him.
 
I always follow the same rule: call people what they want to be called. It’s not my decision as to who or what they want to be.
 
If you want him to go to heaven, Pray the Divine mercy at his bedside.

Jesus promised if you do that he will stand between the sinner and The Father’s wrath.
 
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  1. “When they say this chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person, not as a just Judge but as a merciful Savior.” ( Diary , 1541 )
 
Be loving, be kind. If the patient asks you to call them “Harry” or “Sally” or “Power Ranger”, kindness is to call them what they ask.

Have you asked about their faith background? Offered to find a priest or chaplain for them to help them cope with death?

Ask stories about her life, be interested, listen.
 
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I call chiropractors “doctor” despite believing that their entire field is scientifically dubious. I call female clergy of other denominations “mother/reverend/pastor” or whatever else she tells me is her title despite my belief that it is ontologically impossible to ordain women. I refer to gay spouses as spouses despite the fact that I don’t believe in the validity of their marriages. I also refer to known second/third/fourth (heterosexual) spouses of divorcees as their spouses. None of this is to indicate support or approval of somebody’s personal life. It’s just recognition that it is indeed their life and a personal matter. It’s just a rudimentary amount of respect I could give someone.
 
You could probably get away with using second person pronouns if it bothers you that much.
 
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TheLittleLady said:
Be loving, be kind. If the patient asks you to call them “Harry” or “Sally” or “Power Ranger”, kindness is to call them what they ask.

Have you asked about their faith background? Offered to find a priest or chaplain for them to help them cope with death?

Ask stories about her life, be interested, listen.
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Oh my goodness, yes! Get rid of any ideas or inclinations towards an agenda, and just be with the human being God created in His image and likeness. Listen, ask questions, love him.

God works through our relationships! May the Holy Spirit guide you to be Light and Salt in the world!
 
So continue to avoid pronouns, but if and when you cannot, call him by his desired gender. I think kindness, especially to a dying person, trumps one’s religious belief.
 
I have thought about it, but I’m not entirely sure about his faith. You see, he’s at a point where he can speak very little and is so weak that I don’t want to make him speak at all if he doesn’t have to. I have said it for him at home, but his roommate is with him most of the day in the hospital, and I don’t know how to start the conversation. I don’t want to do anyhing like praying by his bedside without his permission because he is responsible for him. I’ve thought of leaving a miraculous medal in his room or something, but even then I’m not so sure.
 
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