dilemma

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I’m also in RCIA. I had some sort of similar thoughts for a time, and I’m so glad I got over it. The Enemy doesn’t want you in the Church, I promise.

The NO and the EF are the same Jesus, and there are extremely reverent celebrations of the NO. Just watch EWTN Masses if you haven’t experience a beautiful NO Mass. To answer some of your specific points, the liturgy is improving in the American Church and will continue to improve with the next generation of young, more orthodox Priests. Church councils usually always take around 50 years to sort out, look at history. Furthermore, the Holy Father has recently signaled a conservative reading of Vatican II. Don’t get your information about him from the MSM. They have an agenda.

Finally, don’t base your faith on what others are doing or the quality of the liturgy of your Parish. There have ALWAYS been problems in the Church. St. John of the Cross was imprisoned for trying to reform his order by members of his order! Our goal is to get to heaven and make a difference in the Church and the world while we are here. The Gates of Hell will not prevail against the Church my friend. If you love the Church, join and work to make it better. Help others see what they are missing.
 
I can sympathize with you. I preferred Benedict over Francis, but I’m still loyal to the Catholic Church. But, Pope Francis has not gone against any doctrine.

Try to find an FSSP parish nearby. They do amazing work. Again, I can sympathize with you because I strongly dislike the Ordinary Form. I can understand how you would prefer Gregorian chant over Christian pop music, receiving kneeling and on the tongue instead of in the hand, etc., though it is still a valid Sacrifice.

You can still go to an SSPX Mass every now and then, and it does fulfill the obligation. Though, you are strongly discouraged from receiving the Eucharist.

Going to an N.O. Mass is my Cross to bear, since there is no EF near me. It can be your Cross to bear too.

P.S., the Church has been a “Red Cross” since Day One. We aren’t a museum of saints, we are a hospital for sinners. Always has been, always will be. Pope Francis is just emphasizing that.
I have to say. Describing having to attend Mass as a “Cross to bear” is one of the more offensive things I have ever heard on this forum. Offensive to Christ in the Sacrifice, and offensive to people who actually have a real cross to bear. You know, actual problems.
 
Look for an FSSP parish. Not nearly enough of them around, I know.
 
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