Dilemma

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PClark456

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For as long as I can remember God has been calling me to Youth Ministry. When I returned home from College I asked two pastors, our current one and his predecessor if I could help start a Youth Group one said to start slowly and the other said to wait until he met with the Pastoral Council.

I never heard from him and then two weeks ago it was announced in the bulletin that the church had hired a youth minister and it threw me into a tailspin. How could God place this desire on my heart and then take what he wants from me away? It angers me so much that I have ceased praying to him, except while I am teaching my 5th Grade CCD class and even then it feels hollow.

I feel betrayed by God and I don’t know what to think or feel. I am in spiritual dryness because why bother talking to Him when he never listens and just lets me down? I have come here to this site asking if anyone can help. I don’t know any spiritual directors and my pastor and his assistant are not all that approachable because they are too busy.
 
Why not ask to volunteer with one of the youth ministry groups?

And might I gently ask if you don’t feel you might be slightly over-reacting to the situation by not praying to God any longer? Were I to be honest, I would admit that it’s a bit upsetting to me that you would give up praying in a case like this, instead of praying harder to discern what it truly is that you are being called to do.

Remember that line that goes something like: “When God closes a door, he always opens a window somewhere.”? Maybe there is something else that you are meant for, or maybe now is not the proper time. Or maybe it’s just not the proper place. Why not check with the diocese or a different parish?
 
Having no car limits me from going on to another Parish and, I have looked on the Scranton Diocese Website every day…they’re not always up to date. By the time I get to looking into the job it’s already been filled or too far away.

I really do want to volunteer because it would hurt too much.
 
PClark456 said:
For as long as I can remember God has been calling me to Youth Ministry. When I returned home from College I asked two pastors, our current one and his predecessor if I could help start a Youth Group one said to start slowly and the other said to wait until he met with the Pastoral Council.

I never heard from him and then two weeks ago it was announced in the bulletin that the church had hired a youth minister and it threw me into a tailspin. How could God place this desire on my heart and then take what he wants from me away? It angers me so much that I have ceased praying to him, except while I am teaching my 5th Grade CCD class and even then it feels

I feel betrayed by God and I don’t know what to think or feel. I am in spiritual dryness because why bother talking to Him when he never listens and just lets me down? I have come here to this site asking if anyone can help. I don’t know any spiritual directors and my pastor and his assistant are not all that approachable because they are too busy.
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Getting angry because you didnt get what you wanted is childish.
do you think you are ready for that position?
You have to grow up first dont you agree?
 
I think you forgot to write a reply and just quoted what I wrote.
 
Maybe I am being childish. But I am also tired of feeling like God is teasing me like he is dangling a carrot in front of me or like I am Charlie Brown and he keeps pulling the football away.

How am I supposed to feel happy about God when, in truth I feel like he’s a big bully.
 
PClark456 said:
Maybe I am being childish. But I am also tired of feeling like God is teasing me like he is dangling a carrot in front of me or like I am Charlie Brown and he keeps pulling the football away.

How am I supposed to feel happy about God when, in truth I feel like he’s a big bully.
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you are something else. Did it ever ocurr to you thst a demon is pulling your leg?
I assure you that god doesnt do that.

grow up.
 
You know I actually came here for advice and no to be treated like that. Maybe I should grow up. And my first grown up thing I am going to do it tell you that you need to be a bit more tactful when responding to a thread like this.

Then he’s been doing it for 20years and then the whole praying for help has lead me somewhere else. Maybe I am praying to the wrong deity. Maybe Satan will help at least his followers are nicer.
 
PClark456 said:
You know I actually came here for advice and no to be treated like that. Maybe I should grow up. And my first grown up thing I am going to do it tell you that you need to be a bit more tactful when responding to a thread like this.

Then he’s been doing it for 20years and then the whole praying for help has lead me somewhere else. Maybe I am praying to the wrong deity. Maybe Satan will help at least his followers are nicer.
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or maybe he is protecting you, or waiting to give you a better opportunity.

i would think twice about satan and his followers being nicer by the way

there are things about situations that we just don’t or can’t see, but God does
 
I’ve been waiting for 20 years now, don’t you think if he wanted me to do something it would have happened already? I am tired of waiting! That’s the problem. Everyone tells me to wait and when it happens, it happens to someone else. That’s what ticks me off! I wait and all the blessings go to some one else.

I work at it and still the blessings go to someone else. I pray and the blessings go to someone else.

I bust my bum and the blessings go to someone else. See the pattern?

I go to Mass every Sunday, sometimes on a weekday, I pray the Rosary, Adore the Eucharist and still nothing. Everyone else gets a blessing and I get nothing. I do everything that is asked of me and still nothing to my best ability. What good is it? Can you tell me that? I earn nothing. Salvation, yes. But what good is it to have the desire to serve a God that won’t let you serve. Just wait and wait and wait and wait. After 20 years of prayer and fasting and watching everyone else be blessed one can really feel unloved.
 
PClark456 said:
You know I actually came here for advice and no to be treated like that. Maybe I should grow up. And my first grown up thing I am going to do it tell you that you need to be a bit more tactful when responding to a thread like this.

Then he’s been doing it for 20years and then the whole praying for help has lead me somewhere else. Maybe I am praying to the wrong deity. Maybe Satan will help at least his followers are nicer.
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Now that is just being silly and you know it!
Stop the petulance right now and look at the situation. You know you have skills that Christ should use. You have attempted to start a youth ministry and have been treated rather shabbily by the priest who should have discussed the matter with you, as you had raised it.
Put that behind you and start praying for that opportunity to serve God in His way, not necessarily yours. He is much wiser and knows you and your strengths better than you do.
Don’t give up, every great sportsman didn’t let go when he wasn’t chosen for the team the first time, nor does he publicly revile the captain. It is hard to ride a horse on your knees but the best jockeys do and it is time to get back on the horse. God Bless
 
The funny thing is, that’s how my life has always been. The last guy picked on the team. Always the last guy picked and I am tired of it. The one overlooked.

I’ve been Zacchaeus for far too long. I guess I just want to be invited for once be invited.
 
Jonah 4:4 ESV

And the Lord said, “Do you do well to be angry?”
 
I wish I wasn’t angry. I wish I could feel some thing else. But all I can feel is anger, and sadness and frustration and just plain old pissed off. (Sorry for the language)
 
Ephesians 4:26 Worldwide English (New Testament) (WE)

26 When you are angry, do not do anything wrong. And do not stay angry after the sun goes down.
 
PClark456 said:
You know I actually came here for advice and no to be treated like that. Maybe I should grow up. And my first grown up thing I am going to do it tell you that you need to be a bit more tactful when responding to a thread like this.

Then he’s been doing it for 20years and then the whole praying for help has lead me somewhere else. Maybe I am praying to the wrong deity. Maybe Satan will help at least his followers are nicer.
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Perhaps God is calling you to service when you are mentally and spiritually prepared to perform that service. The problem is that you automatically blame God for whatever “he’s been doing” to you for 20 years. With this type of attitude and understanding of God it is better that you are not in a position to teach or guide young, impressionable and often confused or angst-filled young people. “Maybe I am praying to the wrong deity. Maybe Satan will help at least his followers are nicer.” This may be an attempt at humor but it is not, in the least bit, funny. There is no other deity than God Almighty. Satan and anything to do with him can and will do nothing for you other than bring you misery, destruction, hatred and evil and in the end drag you down into Hell itself. Lord, have mercy!
I don’t know you but I can tell you that you’re coming across as very selfish and very whiny. I can’t really say anything else that would be charitable (it’s hard for me to move beyond the “Satan” nonsense) other than throw yourself into the open arms of God, trust fully in His love and His wisdom and stop assuming that you know better than He what is best for you and when and what you deserve.
 
PClark456 said:
I wish I wasn’t angry. I wish I could feel some thing else. But all I can feel is anger, and sadness and frustration and just plain old pissed off. (Sorry for the language)
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Don’t be too hard on yourself, let us do that!
Does not your frustration show commendable zeal? I might suggest you look at the life of Mother Teresa. She was thwarted in her perceived vocation amongst the poorest of the poor for some years by her superiors and obeyed in her submission of what was an indomitable will. Her diaries show us the spiritual dryness that never left her all her life. Even when the world was praising her as a living saint, that invitation to a spiritual closeness or consolation that she needed from her Christ was denied to her. Not once did this affect her resolve to do her calling in His will.
Anger is a natural consequence of a cognitive dissonance between our will and our situation. The solution is to let go of your personal demands on the situation and a surrender to God’s will. Time seems to be of little importance to God, and we are often called to have the seeming patience of Job. However as the great poet Milton said “We also serve who only stand and wait.”
God bless you of a good heart.
 
Pilgrim_333 said:
Perhaps God is calling you to service when you are mentally and spiritually prepared to perform that service. The problem is that you automatically blame God for whatever “he’s been doing” to you for 20 years. With this type of attitude and understanding of God it is better that you are not in a position to teach or guide young, impressionable and often confused or angst-filled young people. “Maybe I am praying to the wrong deity. Maybe Satan will help at least his followers are nicer.” This may be an attempt at humor but it is not, in the least bit, funny. There is no other deity than God Almighty. Satan and anything to do with him can and will do nothing for you other than bring you misery, destruction, hatred and evil and in the end drag you down into Hell itself. Lord, have mercy!
I don’t know you but I can tell you that you’re coming across as very selfish and very whiny. I can’t really say anything else that would be charitable (it’s hard for me to move beyond the “Satan” nonsense) other than throw yourself into the open arms of God, trust fully in His love and His wisdom and stop assuming that you know better than He what is best for you and when and what you deserve.
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This was in response to some one who was not being Charitable and yes I was being childish. Maybe I shouldn’t be a Youth Minister may all the desire to help young people grow in their faith is something the devil imprinted on my heart and not God. If that’s so then I’ve been duped for a very long time. That’s not fair.
 
Petaro said:
Don’t be too hard on yourself, let us do that!
Does not your frustration show commendable zeal? I might suggest you look at the life of Mother Teresa. She was thwarted in her perceived vocation amongst the poorest of the poor for some years by her superiors and obeyed in her submission of what was an indomitable will. Her diaries show us the spiritual dryness that never left her all her life. Even when the world was praising her as a living saint, that invitation to a spiritual closeness or consolation that she needed from her Christ was denied to her. Not once did this affect her resolve to do her calling in His will.
Anger is a natural consequence of a cognitive dissonance between our will and our situation. The solution is to let go of your personal demands on the situation and a surrender to God’s will. Time seems to be of little importance to God, and we are often called to have the seeming patience of Job. However as the great poet Milton said “We also serve who only stand and wait.”
God bless you of a good heart.
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I’ve heard that “God’s time is not our time” thing too much. Well it just sucks! I crave to do more for Him and every opportunity seems to just go to someone else. Bl. Teresa took every chance she got in her ministry to the poor and opened doors to it and she had some help.

I don’t even have help. I don’t even have opportunities. What good is praying and devotionals when all I want to do is more than sit on my knees? I want to get out and do something. Not sit and wait. I have this fire inside of me that just wants to burst out and darnit it feels like it’s dying.

I want to thank you all for your help. But this is just giving me more questions and that’s not what I need right now. I need answers I should have never even posted this. Because it’s useless to even ask for help when you feel useless yourself.
 
Some daily time to meditate on the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and the sorrows of His Mother can help.

The grace and peace of God can aid us in comprehending how much He loves us, and what He wants us to be for Him.
 
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