Dilemma

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In addition to what Dorothy said. 👍
PClark456 said:
I go to Mass every Sunday, sometimes on a weekday, I pray the Rosary, Adore the Eucharist and still nothing. Everyone else gets a blessing and I get nothing. I do everything that is asked of me and still nothing to my best ability. What good is it? Can you tell me that? I earn nothing. Salvation, yes. But what good is it to have the desire to serve a God that won’t let you serve. Just wait and wait and wait and wait. After 20 years of prayer and fasting and watching everyone else be blessed one can really feel unloved.
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That’s wonderful that you do all of those things. Here is something more, though:
He [Jesus] said, “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all you being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27
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Doing all those things is great, but remember that the most important thing in building a relationship with God is love. And if you want a better definition of love…
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
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Love will wait for God because it is always patient.
May His peace be with you always!
 
So go and volunteer as an assistant. No one can expect to start at the top. This isn’t God dangling a carrot in front of you, this is a period of refinement.

You don’t go to a convent and become a nun in one day. Consider this as your postulancy.
 
PClark456 said:
This was in response to some one who was not being Charitable and yes I was being childish. Maybe I shouldn’t be a Youth Minister may all the desire to help young people grow in their faith is something the devil imprinted on my heart and not God. If that’s so then I’ve been duped for a very long time. That’s not fair.
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Well, I’ve been reading through the replies in the thread and I think the problem isn’t that you don’t have a good heart, nor is the devil necessarily involved.

What I see is that God is asking you to follow His will, not your own agenda.

You want to help young people grow in their faith, yet, you’re angry at God for not getting your way.

I don’t meant to be uncharitable here, but I’m trying to help, for what you’re going through isn’t foreign to older folks like myself. In other words, what your going through ? Been there done that.

Not until I surrendered all to God, did I allow him to use me as he wanted, when he wanted.

Discerning God’s will isn’t easy, especially when you have a desire in your heart to do something now.

There is a book that I read when I was in discernment for the Diaconate called, “Weeds Among the Wheat,” by Thomas H. Green.

Father Green helps the reader discern God’s will in their life and from what I remember, when doors open and you have a sense of peace, that is God’s will. When doors close and you have a conflicted spirit, that too is God’s will in showing you that you’re heading in the wrong direction.

Anyway, don’t give up on God, for He probably has a ministry for you that exceeds what you desire now.

Prayer is the key in keeping the relationship with Jesus Christ growing.

God Bless
Jim
 
Paul,
Let me make an observation.
You have prayed for something for 20 years. I assume God has blessed you with many days.
You have written this thread. I assume God has blessed you with a job and all that comes with it.
You have written this thread. I assume that you have the gift of vision.
You have spoken to your pastor. I assume God gave you the gift of speach and hearing.
You choose to pick out the one thing, which you want, and say God is not good to you.
There are many who wish they had some of those Blessings.
God Bless You.
 
I suppose you can take some comfort in the idea that you brought up the idea of youth ministry and the pastor thought it was such a good idea he implemented it.

I don’t know from your OP what the context of your conversation was. It’s one thing if you stopped for a minute walking out the door after Mass. “Hey, I have an idea” (along with a dozen other parishioners who want something new to get started) wouldn’t necessarily give him the idea that this was something you wanted to start and work in.

On the other hand, if you made an appointment and brought in your plans on how to start the group, what they would do, how many people you would need to run it, etc., and what your qualifications were to be in charge, and then he hired someone else – that’s a different story.

It would certainly be worth talking with the pastor to find out his thoughts on all this. I wouldn’t use it as a time for spiritual direction, but as an employer-potential employee interview. Find out what went wrong so you could avoid it in the future.

The other side of your problem is spiritual. It would be helpful if you could find a spiritual director who could help you work through your anger. God can handle your anger with him, but that’s not where you want to stay in your relationship. And keep in mind that tears can be a very deep form of prayer.
 
To Paul Clark, I am sorry for your struggles, but your anger is misdirected. God is not to blame . He has placed an awesome desire in your heart. I would have loved to have met a Catholic youth leader that could have directed me in my own youth. The focus of your anger should be to the evil one and how he controls other people and therefore the work of the church. I do not like how children and teenagers are not given any credit for their faith or spirituality. Keep praying and keep your devotions. Look for religious persons to work with, meaning people who devote themselves to prayer and the work of the kingdom. I pray that you find yourself working with youth and directing their lives in service and devotion to God.

I have also found some responses here at CAF to be unloving and harsh instead of helpful. I once thought that the field was mostly wheat with a few tares(weeds), but in my half century of life, I have learned that the field is mostly tares. Be kind and patient to those youth.
 
Maybe the priests didnt think you were mature enough to handle the responsibility…after all look how you reacted to someone else being chosen…you stopped praying to god and blamed god…

News flash …god didnt take it away from you…the priests decided you werent right for the job and the other person was…
 
I once thought I was called to build an ongoing youth ministry that would mentor disadvantaged urban kids and make it so successful it would be expanded to other cities and states. It turned out instead that I was supposed to personally mentor one group of kids for 10 years, and I have no regrets.
 
Deus_tecum said:
I once thought I was called to build an ongoing youth ministry that would mentor disadvantaged urban kids and make it so successful it would be expanded to other cities and states. It turned out instead that I was supposed to personally mentor one group of kids for 10 years, and I have no regrets.
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That is wonderful, thank you for sharing.

For uncharitable contributors here at CAF, today’s Gospel message is directed to those who actively OR accidentily discourage the faithful. So if you are not involved with building someone up, you ARE tearing them down.

usccb.org/bible/readings/022714.cfm
 
I agree that sometimes we get excited about what God is calling us to do, but then we have our blinders on about it and only see one (maybe two) possible ways for it to happen. We expect God to use the opportunity in front of us, because we deserve it, we’ve worked and waited for it, it’s available, and we want it now. And when we don’t get it, we often don’t see any other alternative–we think God “missed the boat.” We are disappointed, and we lose trust and think God is ignoring our prayers–because I certainly couldn’t have been wrong about how perfect this opportunity would have been for me, right? So God must be in the wrong here!

It’s hard to watch an opportunity you wanted go to someone else, and it can hurt, but if we give up on God, then what we’re really saying is that we aren’t prepared yet to do His Will, and we don’t love and trust Him enough. We haven’t really done our part, which is to be faithful and love Him even when it’s hard. It’s hard to admit, especially to ourselves, that we have broken the 1st Commandment. Because we need to put God first, and not make idols of our desires, our jobs, our careers, our “callings.”

“Not my will, but Yours be done.” For many of us, this is one of the hardest things to put into practice–and sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking we are doing God’s Will, and then get upset when He doesn’t conform to OUR ideas of what His Will “should” be!

Let go and let God. Put God ahead of even your most intense desires, and keep those desires in perspective–it’s not about getting what we want, it’s about doing what God is actually calling us to do. That sometimes means working towards something in faith, but finding that it was only “practice,” and not the real thing. But it’s still part of the journey leading to your calling. So if we trust in Him, looking back, we eventually will see that each missed “opportunity” along the path really wasn’t “missed,” at all. It was preparing us.

So try to trust in Him, even when it seems He’s leading you through darkness and you feel that you’re moving too slowly. I’m certainly not great at it, either, but I know it’s necessary for our happiness. And I want you to be happy! 🙂

Will :gopray2: for you.

Also, I think Matthew Kelly’s talk about Contemplation (7 Pillars of Catholic Spirituality - Pillar 2) might help somewhat with the negative thoughts… 😉
 
CatholicRaven said:
I agree that sometimes we get excited about what God is calling us to do, but then we have our blinders on about it and only see one (maybe two) possible ways for it to happen. We expect God to use the opportunity in front of us, because we deserve it, we’ve worked and waited for it, it’s available, and we want it now. And when we don’t get it, we often don’t see any other alternative–we think God “missed the boat.” We are disappointed, and we lose trust and think God is ignoring our prayers–because I certainly couldn’t have been wrong about how perfect this opportunity would have been for me, right? So God must be in the wrong here!

It’s hard to watch an opportunity you wanted go to someone else, and it can hurt, but if we give up on God, then what we’re really saying is that we aren’t prepared yet to do His Will, and we don’t love and trust Him enough. We haven’t really done our part, which is to be faithful and love Him even when it’s hard. It’s hard to admit, especially to ourselves, that we have broken the 1st Commandment. Because we need to put God first, and not make idols of our desires, our jobs, our careers, our “callings.”

“Not my will, but Yours be done.” For many of us, this is one of the hardest things to put into practice–and sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking we are doing God’s Will, and then get upset when He doesn’t conform to OUR ideas of what His Will “should” be!

Let go and let God. Put God ahead of even your most intense desires, and keep those desires in perspective–it’s not about getting what we want, it’s about doing what God is actually calling us to do. That sometimes means working towards something in faith, but finding that it was only “practice,” and not the real thing. But it’s still part of the journey leading to your calling. So if we trust in Him, looking back, we eventually will see that each missed “opportunity” along the path really wasn’t “missed,” at all. It was preparing us.

So try to trust in Him, even when it seems He’s leading you through darkness and you feel that you’re moving too slowly. I’m certainly not great at it, either, but I know it’s necessary for our happiness. And I want you to be happy! 🙂

Will :gopray2: for you.

Also, I think Matthew Kelly’s talk about Contemplation (7 Pillars of Catholic Spirituality - Pillar 2) might help somewhat with the negative thoughts… 😉
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It’s not what I wanted to hear, but it was helpful. It’s not that I didn’t stop believing in God, I just chose, at this moment to not pray. That may be it would be better to take a break and let me figure out my next move, keep away from all of it before it makes me insane and really do something harsh. Clinging to God, the way I have since I was a pre-teen has made me feel un wanted and un needed because everyone else get’s to be chosen and not me. Yes there are saints who worked in the background, that I know. But why me? That’s the question that makes me angry at God. Why am I in the background and others are not? Why can’t I have what they have? If it is His will, then why is it his will?

My reaction may seem childish and selfish to some. Those people don’t realize that these are real feelings I have. Real question I have. I have accepted God’s will, I’ve let go and let God, many times over, and yet nothing came of it for me. No answers. Just silence.

After a long cry and thought process I’ve come to the conclusion that all I want is to be needed. Not by God, but by others and it is unfair that that it isn’t happening the way I thought God wanted me to. If no one needs me, then I don’t need them I suppose.

I don’t live in a region of Pennsylvania where there are Parishes on every corner. I can’t leave one to go to another because the next parish is in another city. I am stuck watching God use other people.

There aren’t any other ministries in my Parish other than the Choir (which I am a member of), CCD (I teach 5th grade and this sparked my desire to something more than that) and RCIA (which I have no interest in participating in). There’s the Extraordinary Ministers and lectors but there are only so many spots that can be filled during a week and again, you’re called to wait until a class is formed which could take years because no one else wants to do them.

Talking to my Pastor is tough because he’s always busy and rarely has any office time. Talking with his assistant is much of the same because he also a Family Counselor in Scranton and this takes up most of his week. I have no spiritual direction from any one.

I am being selfish, I understand that but I have a right to be angry at someone. At myself. I can’t force my will onto God’s will. But when you think for a long time you are following it and it turns out wrong it’s frustrating an unfair. I have no one to vent this to and no one in my family would understand. What good is it for my situation? What am I to learn from all this? Patience? I’ve been patient? Humble? I struggle with humility, we all do. We’re human.

But all the patience and all the humility, all the prayers and devotions in the world feel empty and hollow right now. I can’t be persistent in prayer when I don’t feel like praying. I can’t be humble or patient when I am frustrated and confused. So how can I overcome this when I feel like my relationship with God has been a lie that I created? Or will I thought God had created for me and wasn’t right? Is this what following God is about? Constant confusion? Is that fair?
 
So I had an opportunity to talk to Christ in the Church after hours (I am reading for my cousin’s wedding) and I basically laid it all out the best I could.

“I am not going to pray I am just going to have my say. You know how I feel right now. You knew what my reaction would be long before this even happened. You put this desire in my heart and now I don’t know what to do. Where to go from here. So help me on this because I don’t know what else I can do for you. My heart is broken.”

If anything this was a giant step from where I was last week, even last night. I want to thank you all for at least giving a care and will post something on this thread if any fruit sprouted from it.
 
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