Dining with an Orthodox Jewish friend

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I’m a Catholic who recently reconnected with a childhood friend who practices strict orthodox Judaism. We’re having lunch at a kosher deli and I want to be certain that I don’t eat or do anything that might be considered insensitive to his faith. Does anyone know where I might find a resource to help me determine what’s right and wrong…a “Kosher for Dummies” so to speak?
 
Since it’s a kosher deli, your friend will not have any problems adhering to his religious requirements.

You can eat whatever you want, you don’t keep kosher and he will not expect it of you. I can’t imagine him being offended if you eat whatever looks good to you on the menu.
 
Insensitive to his faith? Kosher doesn’t work that way. Eat whatever you want. Everybody knows you’re a gentile. Keep it simple: let him order first, then say “That sounds good - make it two”.
 
Apollos is right - kosher law applies to jews, not gentiles. You’re free to do what you want, just don’t go bashing his faith or making stereotypical jokes 😉
 
pjbshark said:
I’m a Catholic who recently reconnected with a childhood friend who practices strict orthodox Judaism. We’re having lunch at a kosher deli and I want to be certain that I don’t eat or do anything that might be considered insensitive to his faith. Does anyone know where I might find a resource to help me determine what’s right and wrong…a “Kosher for Dummies” so to speak?
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If you are eating at a Kosher Deli, order anything on the menu and you will be fine. Your friend is orthodox; he will only eat at a place that is approved and meets his standards. You have nothing to be concerned about. Just don’t send him a gift of pork 🙂
 
To avoid offense, avoid eating meat and milk products in the same meal. An evening meal would more tend to be meat products.
 
Relax and don’t worry…
First, he wont expect you to know the “rules” or follow them. You’re not Jewish.
Second, if you’re going to a kosher deli, everything there will be Kosher… and chances are, you will only be able to order from a Meat Menu.
Third, he will appreciate your willingness to accomodate him and his needs. In the future, you might be able to say “Hey, I’d love to have you over… what can I do to be respectful of your dietary restrictions…I want you to feel comfortable”. Chances are, he will appreciate the considerations.
Enjoy your friend.
 
There could be a problem with having him over for a meal. Orthodox Jews use different plates and glasses for dairy products and meat products. My former sister-in-law converted to the Orthodox and had two dishwashers in her home. Once I used a glass for milk that was only for none dairy products.

Protestants might think it is difficult to follow the Catholic faith, but it seems to me much more difficult to follow the faith of Orthodox Jews. She also owned a deli and had to clean everything in a ritual manner and have a Rabbi come and inspect it every year.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette
 
What I’m suggesting is that with a little creativity and sensitivity, it can be done .

Muy children have some orthodox jewish friends. For birthday parties, I was able to order pizza from a kosher place, use a baskin and Robbins cake (also kosher in our city) as well as paper plates. the orthodox families were grateful that we included their children in a manner that was low key…

We’ve had those children over for playdates, with the understanding that snacks would be apples or oranges, pretzels etc. As long as the snacks were certified kosher, didn’t have to be cooked in our house, we could serve it on a paper plate. We served everyone the same food in the same way, and it was ok.

In the US we tend to accomodate all sorts of dietary restrictions: gluten free, vegetarianism, lactose intolerance, food allergies, etc… With goodwill, this can be dealt with as well…

Also, by making the effort to ask, you send the message of acceptance and inclusion.

With planning, and a sincere request for information, it can be done.
 
Would your friend be willing to bend his/her religious rules as you would for him/her? Eat what you feel like eating and don’t worry about it. But if you want to conform to his/her meals then do so. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.
 
rev_kevin said:
Would your friend be willing to bend his/her religious rules as you would for him/her? Eat what you feel like eating and don’t worry about it. But if you want to conform to his/her meals then do so. I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.
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Good point. Spineless Christians have been beaten into cowardice when it comes to expecting OTHER religions to respect OUR traditions.
 
pjbshark said:
I’m a Catholic who recently reconnected with a childhood friend who practices strict orthodox Judaism. We’re having lunch at a kosher deli and I want to be certain that I don’t eat or do anything that might be considered insensitive to his faith. Does anyone know where I might find a resource to help me determine what’s right and wrong…a “Kosher for Dummies” so to speak?
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Given different understandings of kashrut according to tradition and more importantly, denomination of Judaism, I advise that you give the name of the deli to your friend, or at least the name of the deli’s kosher certification (which should be in the front of the shop, or on its website).

My Reform friends, for example, accept a certain kosher authority that their Orthodox relatives would not.

But the deli will regulate kashrut standards for you, and naturally you won’t bring uncertified food or drink from outside, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

In any case, non-Jews are not bound to Halakhic dietary rules.
 
Apollos said:
Good point. Spineless Christians have been beaten into cowardice when it comes to expecting OTHER religions to respect OUR traditions.
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I don’t know why you interpret this situation as religious supression on part of the OP’s Jewish friend.

Whether kashrut is requisite for Jews is a matter of debate in Judaism, and no movement expects it of Gentiles.
 
Bezant said:
I don’t know why you interpret this situation as religious supression on part of the OP’s Jewish friend.
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You’re fundamentally missing my point. Spineless Christians live every day in fear of offending anyone and will even deny Christ to avoid making a scene. Just look at how Christianity has been singled out and suppressed in the public schools while other religions are recognized, protected, and promoted in the name of diversity and sensitivity, and it’s Christians themselves who are doing it. But this is off-topic.
 
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