Direction

[jewels0509]

I came to this site tonight looking for answers I have been searching for. Any advice would be welcome. I was born and raised catholic did the 12 years of catholic school thing and grew up in a family where we went to church together every week. Since I left the city - and church I grew up in (10+ years) I have stopped going to church regularly and struggled with my faith.

It started with me not finding a church I liked in the city I moved to - I tried a few but each congregation seemed strange to me - almost like I didn’t belog. Another city Iater and the churches I tried felt the same. I do sometimes go to church and find myself going in spurts - there are weeks I will go every day and then it will be months before I set foot in a church. I say the rosary but not regularly - there are times even in the middle of the night when I wake up and just feel I need to say one so I do. I just seem to struggle with finding my way back. And it’s not that I don’t think about going to church - I do - I just don’t go. I think about that at times and it doesn’t make sense.

I have family and friends and see their strong faith and bond with god and the church and I then look at myself and wonder why it is more difficult for me. It becomes truly frustrating.

I did buy a catechism book thinking it would help me but I cannot seem to find what I am looking for. Is it normal to have stuggles like this? Does anyone have any advice or can you recommend a book or cd that may help me in my journey back to the church?

 

[blessedtoo]

I recently moved away from the Parish I loved and attended for years. My new area has proven to be a real challenge as far as finding a Church where I feel I am truly receiving the fullness of the Catholic faith. I understand how difficult it can be to feel motivated to attend Mass on Sunday when your Church options leave you feeling “cold”, for whatever reason. However I know I have made a comittment to my Lord to come see Him at least once a week. I understand that we have a relationship that requires effort on my part, no matter how spiritually lethargic I might feel. I realize that He doesn’t ask much of me, but that He has made it clear that this is something He wants me to do and that in doing it, I will receive His grace and blessings that I can carry with me throughout the week. I know when I walk into a Church (any Church, even the one’s I don’t much care for) that He is there in a way that is different from any other place I might see Him or feel Him. If I want to experience that blessed intimacy with Christ, I will make whatever effort is needed to meet Him at His place on Sunday!

 

[InLight247]

It started with me not finding a church I liked in the city I moved to - I tried a few but each congregation seemed strange to me - almost like I didn’t belong. Another city later and the churches I tried felt the same.

From what I read it seems the sense of belonging became an obstacle while looking for a church to regularly attend.

I can understand that. For many years I attended my current Parish without having fellowship with any other parishioner. Faith seems to be vertical only between me and God. It was not easy. However, like the other poster said, I knew I had to attend Sunday Mass and receive my Lord whether I had a sense of belonging or not. It was my need of being with God and belonging to God drove me to Mass every Sunday.

Then I thought about taking the initiative to reach out. I volunteered to teach CCD, hoping to give my service to God and having a chance of making friends with the parents at the same time. I taught CCD for 2 years back then and still knew few people. Parents dropped their kids to class and said “Hi” to you. That’s about it. However, volunteering did increase my sense of belonging.

As years go by, I have participated different groups of the church. From each group, I got to know different people. Now I have many friends in my parish. And I was elected as one of the Parish Council member lately. Through struggle and reaching out, I finally have the strong sense of belonging.

Please do not let the sense of belonging to a church impedes your relationship with God.
Seek God first no matter what and give yourself a chance to explore various groups of the church. You will find those Catholic people though not appear to be enthusiastic of fellowship, are actually warm and nice when you get to know them.

Give and it shall be given to you. God bless!

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I was in much the same situation when I left home and fell away from the Church for a time. Looking back, I wish that I had made the effort to get involved in something in the parish. Simply attending Mass without knowing anyone or feeling any connection wasn’t enough for me.

Perhaps if you talk with the pastor and get involved in some activity in the parish, it will start to feel more like home to you. You’ll know some people and have a connection to the parish.

Good luck to you.

 

[PhilotheaZ]

The Holy Spirit must be working in you. Christ desires you to be back in the Church He founded. May He bless your journey home.

It started with me not finding a church I liked in the city I moved to - I tried a few but each congregation seemed strange to me - almost like I didn’t belog. …I have family and friends and see their strong faith and bond with god and the church and I then look at myself and wonder why it is more difficult for me.

I know how difficult it can be to feel that sense of “belonging” in a new place. I have experienced it every time our family has moved. May I suggest another possible help for this? If you have not already had the chance to do so, take advantage of the wonderful Sacrament of Reconciliation. When we confess our sins, it not only reconciles us with God, it also reconciles us with the Church. It’s like you’re a family member who has been away from the table for a number of years — we have missed you, and your family needs you! You may want to bookmark the following section in your copy of the Catechism:

1469 This sacrament reconciles us with the Church. Sin damages or even breaks fraternal communion. The sacrament of Penance repairs or restores it. In this sense it does not simply heal the one restored to ecclesial communion, but has also a revitalizing effect on the life of the Church which suffered from the sin of one of her members. Re-established or strengthened in the communion of saints, the sinner is made stronger by the exchange of spiritual goods among all the living members of the Body of Christ, whether still on pilgrimage or already in the heavenly homeland:

It must be recalled that . . . this reconciliation with God leads, as it were, to other reconciliations, which repair the other breaches caused by sin. The forgiven penitent is reconciled with himself in his inmost being, where he regains his innermost truth. He is reconciled with his brethren whom he has in some way offended and wounded. He is reconciled with the Church. He is reconciled with all creation.​

Does anyone have any advice or can you **recommend a book **or cd that may help me in my journey back to the church?

I have not read it personally, but this book seems to have excellent reviews: amazon.com/Could-Ever-Come-Catholic-Church/dp/0818907894/ref=sr_1_4/002-1842280-8320043?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1182622627&sr=8-4 . (If you read it, let me know what you think so I will know whether to recommend it to others.)

I’ll pray for you.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

jewels,

I don’t know for sure, but it appears from your post that you’re looking for faith through religion. Forgive me if I’m reading you wrong.

My advice, STOP!

Religion without the gift of faith, which can only come from God, will make religion, foolish, dry and empty, and for some, they will force themselves to follow the rules of religion fanatically, and most often, become pains in the neck for everyone around them.

You first must turn to the source of Faith, Jesus Christ.

Faith is a gift from God, it is His revelation of Himself to us, however that may happen. Religion, is our response to that received faith.

Faith comes by turning to Jesus Christ. Surrender yourself to Him, completely. He will reveal Himself to you, some how. It could be from an inner voice, through Scripture, or through other people or events. However, you, must be open your heart and mind to Him.

So, my advice, stop looking for a religion for now. Go to Jesus and ask for the gift of faith first. Once you have faith, religion will become a treasure you’ll never let go of.

You’ll Be In My Prayers
Jim

 

[nobody]

jewels,

I don’t know for sure, but it appears from your post that you’re looking for faith through religion. Forgive me if I’m reading you wrong.

My advice, STOP!

Religion without the gift of faith, which can only come from God, will make religion, foolish, dry and empty, and for some, they will force themselves to follow the rules of religion fanatically, and most often, become pains in the neck for everyone around them.

You first must turn to the source of Faith, Jesus Christ.

Faith is a gift from God, it is His revelation of Himself to us, however that may happen. Religion, is our response to that received faith.

Faith comes by turning to Jesus Christ. Surrender yourself to Him, completely. He will reveal Himself to you, some how. It could be from an inner voice, through Scripture, or through other people or events. However, you, must be open your heart and mind to Him.

So, my advice, stop looking for a religion for now. Go to Jesus and ask for the gift of faith first. Once you have faith, religion will become a treasure you’ll never let go of.

You’ll Be In My Prayers
Jim

Am I the only one that disagrees with this post?

I’ve never heard an inner voice, I don’t know for sure if I’ve ever recognized Jesus “revealing Himself” to me. I struggle with faith. However, I am not going to abandon the sacraments. I see them as my life-line, keeping me connected to God even though I can’t “feel” Him. I show my trust in God by attending mass and going to confession.

So I guess my advice (humble look on my face, here) is to go to confession and go back to Mass.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Am I the only one that disagrees with this post?

I’ve never heard an inner voice, I don’t know for sure if I’ve ever recognized Jesus “revealing Himself” to me. I struggle with faith. However, I am not going to abandon the sacraments. I see them as my life-line, keeping me connected to God even though I can’t “feel” Him. I show my trust in God by attending mass and going to confession.

So I guess my advice (humble look on my face, here) is to go to confession and go back to Mass.

If you’ve never heard the voice of God within, or have not seen God’s revelation, I feel sorry for you. I don’t know how you can miss the presence of God in the world, in people, in Scripture, in nature. St. Francis of Assisi one time, picked up a handful of dirt and said, “I can feel the pulse of God within this dirt.”

For me, its an impossibility to not see God in everything.

Also, keep in mind that the voice of God within, is through God’s language, which is silence. I’m not speaking about an audible voice like people talking. God’s language is silence. His presence is deep within your very being. As St. Teresa says, this is where God communicates to us most effectively.

Praying in the presence of God, who dwells within you is important for spiritual growth.

As far as receiving the sacraments, to receive the sacraments without faith, can be sacrilegious. Which is why I advise people to seek faith first.

I receive the sacraments, because I have faith in God and through them,to give me His grace. If I didn’t have faith, the sacraments would be nothing more than religious exercise.

Jim

 

[nobody]

If you’ve never heard the voice of God within, or have not seen God’s revelation, I feel sorry for you.

Thank you for your condolences.

For me, its an impossibility to not see God in everything.

You have received a great gift.

As far as receiving the sacraments, to receive the sacraments without faith, can be sacrilegious.

I pray that God has mercy on me for my imperfect faith, and that I do not offend Him.

 

[Ceil-1]

nobody,

I believe the previous posters are not understanding your problem. You are in need of authentic Christian community. It is very elusive. The vast majority of people live their lives thinking they are in the clear and don’t give their lifestyle a thought. Christian community is not about volunteering for CCD, although that is a good thing. It is about living the Gospel as Jesus intended it, and sharing it.

True Christian community is a lost art in this place and time. Occasionally you will catch glimpses of it, say, at a homeless shelter, Calcutta, places that aren’t in the forefront. If you are looking for it at your standard parish, you will be disappointed.

My advice to you is first to read Acts 2, and the Gospels, and secondly, to pray to find it. Ask to be shown what true Christianity is. I especially encourage you to make a novena to Mary for speedy results. I can personally guarantee you will be given signs before that novena is done of the direction you need to go. It’s quite exciting, actually. I will keep you in my prayers as well.

 

[Ceil-1]

Oh, and I forgot to mention that you need to avail yourself of the Sacraments which are found at your parish. In fact, you probably should go to Confession if you’ve missed Mass. You’ll be showered with graces for it, so don’t worry.

 

[nobody]

I did hijack this thread, didn’t I? Sorry. The original poster was Jewels, who I believe the previous poster was addressing. I’ll stay off from now on.

 

[InLight247]

I did hijack this thread, didn’t I? Sorry. The original poster was Jewels, who I believe the previous poster was addressing. I’ll stay off from now on.

No, you didn’t jijack anything. Please stay on.
Sometimes people didn’t take time to read the whole thread carefully and just jump in to cause confusion. Your are fine.

And by the way,you are not the only one who disagrees with what you disagree.

 

[wupsie50]

I’ve been in your situation. 1st- return to the sacraments. Your salvation depends on it. 2nd- I would recommend Scott Hahn’s book “The Lamb’s Supper” to help deepen your understanding of the Mass. 3rd- I would recommend a good retreat by given by an orthodox priest. If this isn’t possible I would spend a great deal of time using the question/answer forums of this website and EWTN to help with other questions you might have. And the most important thing you can do is to pray-everyday both morning and evening, preferably at the same time. The Rosary is ideal for this. It helps you to meditate on the Gospel. Start with one decade in the morning and another one in the evening. Beg the Holy Mother for Her help, she never fails. I will pray for you.

 

[Mary3]

Please do not let the sense of belonging to a church impedes your relationship with God.
Seek God first no matter what and give yourself a chance to explore various groups of the church. You will find those Catholic people though not appear to be enthusiastic of fellowship, are actually warm and nice when you get to know them.

Give and it shall be given to you. God bless!

My story is almost identical. I’ve attended my current parish for about 9 years now, and it has been incredibly difficult to get to know people. At some point, I had to acknowledge my own selfishness in two ways. 1. My main motivation for going to Church was to receive, not to give. 2. I expected to instantly ‘fit in’ without any effort on my part.

I took the same path as you did to get involved in various different groups, and have slowly met a lot of different people. I also attend events and groups that meet in other parishes, but I go to Mass at my own 99% of the time.

For me, the key to getting to Mass on difficult days is to realize that it’s not about me, it’s about God. He wants us to worship Him in this way. We may not always understand why, but if I remind myself that this is His command and desire, it makes it possible for me to overcome my own lethargy / self-pity.

Also, I also pray for some good spiritual friends on a regular basis. A few like-minded people have been sent to me over time, but God is also leading me to understand that He wants me attached to Him, and not so much to other people.

I pray that God will bless the OP through this difficult time. I hope it helps the OP to know their journey is not unique.

 

[InLight247]

My story is almost identical. I’ve attended my current parish for about 9 years now, and it has been incredibly difficult to get to know people.

I know how that is.

For me, the key to getting to Mass on difficult days is to realize that it’s not about me, it’s about God. He wants us to worship Him in this way. We may not always understand why, but if I remind myself that this is His command and desire, it makes it possible for me to overcome my own lethargy / self-pity.

Well said! Indeed Mass is about God not about us.
There was once upon a time I didn’t feel like to go to Mass. But thank God I am now at the stage that I cannot wait to go to Mass.
Once I understand the true meaning of Mass and how every detail of Mass has its Bible base, I am so excited to be in it. Truly Mass is heaven on earth. How can I miss such a great opportunity?

Also, I also pray for some good spiritual friends on a regular basis. A few like-minded people have been sent to me over time, but God is also leading me to understand that He wants me attached to Him, and not so much to other people.

Wow, I couldn’t believe it. I went through the same way, received exactly the same message. For years I prayed for a good spiritual companion but God said NO. He wanted me to develop deeper relationship with Him. He wanted to guide me in person.
Situation changed years later. And I have to admit His way is better than what I originally requested.

I pray that God will bless the OP through this difficult time. I hope it helps the OP to know their journey is not unique.

Yes.