C
catharina
Guest
Tremendous thanks for those prayers.Prayers for Daniel, MV and all caregivers promised.
In regard to MV, caregiving is an endless sacrifice of self.
IMO, nothing helps the caregiver like the prayers of others.
- Status
In regard to MV, caregiving is an endless sacrifice of self.
IMO, nothing helps the caregiver like the prayers of others.
T
Trishie
Guest
Brother, in response to your request that I might post what I sent in PM to you, further to my earlier post…
My sister has Lupus. She and her husband,as I explained, adopted two adopted boys.
The older child, who has Downs, is a gentle soul. Recently I emailed a thank you to him, as since he was a small child he has prayed each night for each relative by name before bed. His emailed answer was “You are beautiful Auntie Trishie.”
He was a valued member of the family band that for years sang together for gigs. He, like the others, had his special family uniform that my sister sewed for them all. Her husband played guitar…and he’s composed many songs in the past. In fact he wooed my sister thus…
The younger child has a shunt in his brain and requires on-going medical help sometimes relating to seizures. He has also required much help to be able to eat, speak and walk.
One of the natural daughters, who has PhD qualifications focussing on literacy for Downs syndome children, set up a Downs Syndrome Literacy program. Even whilst studying, she received State recognition for her efforts for Down syndrome children.
As it happens, this sister and her husband aren’t the only members of my family to adopt handicapped children.
One of my brothers and his wife raised their three children, and then unlike my sister’s family where the children were raised together, later adopted 3 handicapped children in succession.
The first child was older, and less could be done to help him, but he is able to work in a sheltered workshop.
The second child is a girl, Downs,a cheerful pretty little soul.
The third child is Asian and profoundly disabled, with limited vision, needed a Cochlear ear implant to hear, was fed by a tube until operations to open up her jaw were carried out. She then learned to eat but although she has learned to understand words, she cannot speak, instead she often clicks her tongue. She has to be carefully watched when eating to ensure she doesn’t choke. The children are deeply loved byt the family and the older daughter is always available to support and assist with her little sisters.
Both girls attend a special school. My brother recently turned down a significant and desirable work opportunity because a suitable school for the girls wasn’t available in the area.
I guess one of the impressive things about these five handicapped children welcomed into my siblings families, is that they did not simply foster the children incredibably loving and generous and wonderful though fostering is, these couples adopted the children as their own.
Anyway, Brother, God bless you for all that you do.
God’s blessings to you, Trishie
My sister has Lupus. She and her husband,as I explained, adopted two adopted boys.
The older child, who has Downs, is a gentle soul. Recently I emailed a thank you to him, as since he was a small child he has prayed each night for each relative by name before bed. His emailed answer was “You are beautiful Auntie Trishie.”
He was a valued member of the family band that for years sang together for gigs. He, like the others, had his special family uniform that my sister sewed for them all. Her husband played guitar…and he’s composed many songs in the past. In fact he wooed my sister thus…
The younger child has a shunt in his brain and requires on-going medical help sometimes relating to seizures. He has also required much help to be able to eat, speak and walk.
One of the natural daughters, who has PhD qualifications focussing on literacy for Downs syndome children, set up a Downs Syndrome Literacy program. Even whilst studying, she received State recognition for her efforts for Down syndrome children.
As it happens, this sister and her husband aren’t the only members of my family to adopt handicapped children.
One of my brothers and his wife raised their three children, and then unlike my sister’s family where the children were raised together, later adopted 3 handicapped children in succession.
The first child was older, and less could be done to help him, but he is able to work in a sheltered workshop.
The second child is a girl, Downs,a cheerful pretty little soul.
The third child is Asian and profoundly disabled, with limited vision, needed a Cochlear ear implant to hear, was fed by a tube until operations to open up her jaw were carried out. She then learned to eat but although she has learned to understand words, she cannot speak, instead she often clicks her tongue. She has to be carefully watched when eating to ensure she doesn’t choke. The children are deeply loved byt the family and the older daughter is always available to support and assist with her little sisters.
Both girls attend a special school. My brother recently turned down a significant and desirable work opportunity because a suitable school for the girls wasn’t available in the area.
I guess one of the impressive things about these five handicapped children welcomed into my siblings families, is that they did not simply foster the children incredibably loving and generous and wonderful though fostering is, these couples adopted the children as their own.
Anyway, Brother, God bless you for all that you do.
God’s blessings to you, Trishie
J
JReducation
Guest
Prayers for Daniel and a holy communion too.
True, caregivers need prayer. Nonetheless, they are also prophetic voices that call out in the darkness, “Prepare the way of the Lord.” Like John the Baptist, the caregiver announces the coming of the Lord by giving witness to the faith under very unique circumstance.
If a caregiver can keep at the front of his or her mind, that caregiving is part of a call from Christ to speak to the Church of Christ’s priestly ministry, he or she becomes a force to be reckoned with.
Let’s look at this closely. Many caregivers are parents, spouses, children, employees and have other roles to fulfill. The key to a healthy spirituality for caregivers is to balance and prioritize.
When the load becomes heavy, the caregiver must remember the words of Christ, "Come to me, my burden is easy . . . " During the moments of anxiety and preocupation, one must remember that Christ told Jairus, “Do not be afraid.” At those moments of loneliness it is time to recall what Jesus said, “I will be with you always.”
These are the Gospel messages that the caregiver must take to prayer and meditate on. It’s important to walk the dog everyday, as I say, even if you don’t have a dog. Spend time alone with the Lord meditating on these words.
One must find a sacred time and a sacred space that is reserved for the Lord, where the individual or the couple take at least 10 minutes to be with each other and with God. The grace that God pours out into the soul will not only console us, but will give us the rest that Christ has promised.
Let us remember, Christ offers grace, but he will not impose it on us. We have to open ourselves so that the Spirit can enter.
Fraternally,
JR
J
JReducation
Guest
Trish, as I told you via PM, you have a remarkable family. Your siblings have certainly done something beautiful for God, as Malcolm Mugridge said about Mother Teresa.
Often Catholics pay a great deal of tribute to the saints and blessed, like Francis of Assisi, Vincent de Paul, and Mother Teresa who gave their lives in service to Christ’s most beloved. But do we really understand? It’s easy to say that a child with a disability is a gift from God. But does he or she feel like a gift when he drops his feces in his pants or when the school calls you every other day to complain about his behaviour?
It’s certainly a critical moment in the life of a couple when an obstetrician recommends that you terminate the pregnancy because the child has brain damage or is missing a limb.
True love often comes at a great price. These children are the pearl of great value. They are a means to salvation for their families and for the Church. It is not as romantic as it seems. Imagine living in a world where you feel that you do not belong. Think about what it would be like to see your peers learning and participating in a class in school while you sit there in a state of confusion. What is life like when you can’t find your clothing or your left shoe, which you are already wearing? Does it feel like you are a gift when people shout at you, “Why can’t you do this?” or “You’re not paying attention?” You know that you’re trying but your brain won’t do what you want it to do. You feel as if you were wearing a cooking mitt when you try to pick up a pencil. You can barely feel it in your hands. Worse is when you are trying to focus on something and your attention is drawn in five different directions at the same time, because it doesn’t filter out the irrelevant information and stay on the relevant.
Why does God allow this to happen? It is easy to give a textbook response. “It’s God’s will” or “It’s all part of his plan.” But textbook answers become clichés and eventually lose their meaning to the person who lives with these challenges everyday.
It is the mission of the Church, especially the lay person to permeate every event and experience in life with the Good News of the Gospel. As the saints have taught us, “Small things with great love.” We have to help these children believe that the small things that they do have value when done with great love. Their lives have meaning, not because they have a disability or because they grow up to become rocket scientists. Their lives have meaning because they are sons and daughters of the Father. They too have a mission in the Plan of Salvation. They teach us the meaning and value of small things done with great love.
I remember a young girl with Down who approached a Sister of Notre Dame, back in the day when the Sisters wore a long skirt and Oxford shoes. She approached Sister with her biggest smile. “Do you like my new shoes” she said. Of course Sister acknowledged that the shoes were very pretty. Later the Sister confided to me that she had been momentarily taken back. Shoes were not something that she would have considered celebrating, because she wore the shoes prescribed for her habit. Then Sister realized that she had been given a great gift in a very small package. This young girl had taught a professed religious something about poverty and detachment. Her joy and enthusiasm over a new pair of shoes was contagious.
Like the most simple and great saints, this little girl celebrated that which is common. She did not need great accomplishments or something expensive to celebrate and be joyful. She lived and taught what Christ has called us to do. “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” We can teach these children that they are very special in God’s heart, because they teach Christ’s simplicity.
Francis, Vincent, and Mother Teresa understood the lessons of this population and they became their eager students, not just their ministers. That’s why they were known as Brother and Sister. Because a brother or a sister is an equal engaged in an on-going relationship of gift-giving.
Fraternally,
JR
Often Catholics pay a great deal of tribute to the saints and blessed, like Francis of Assisi, Vincent de Paul, and Mother Teresa who gave their lives in service to Christ’s most beloved. But do we really understand? It’s easy to say that a child with a disability is a gift from God. But does he or she feel like a gift when he drops his feces in his pants or when the school calls you every other day to complain about his behaviour?
It’s certainly a critical moment in the life of a couple when an obstetrician recommends that you terminate the pregnancy because the child has brain damage or is missing a limb.
True love often comes at a great price. These children are the pearl of great value. They are a means to salvation for their families and for the Church. It is not as romantic as it seems. Imagine living in a world where you feel that you do not belong. Think about what it would be like to see your peers learning and participating in a class in school while you sit there in a state of confusion. What is life like when you can’t find your clothing or your left shoe, which you are already wearing? Does it feel like you are a gift when people shout at you, “Why can’t you do this?” or “You’re not paying attention?” You know that you’re trying but your brain won’t do what you want it to do. You feel as if you were wearing a cooking mitt when you try to pick up a pencil. You can barely feel it in your hands. Worse is when you are trying to focus on something and your attention is drawn in five different directions at the same time, because it doesn’t filter out the irrelevant information and stay on the relevant.
Why does God allow this to happen? It is easy to give a textbook response. “It’s God’s will” or “It’s all part of his plan.” But textbook answers become clichés and eventually lose their meaning to the person who lives with these challenges everyday.
It is the mission of the Church, especially the lay person to permeate every event and experience in life with the Good News of the Gospel. As the saints have taught us, “Small things with great love.” We have to help these children believe that the small things that they do have value when done with great love. Their lives have meaning, not because they have a disability or because they grow up to become rocket scientists. Their lives have meaning because they are sons and daughters of the Father. They too have a mission in the Plan of Salvation. They teach us the meaning and value of small things done with great love.
I remember a young girl with Down who approached a Sister of Notre Dame, back in the day when the Sisters wore a long skirt and Oxford shoes. She approached Sister with her biggest smile. “Do you like my new shoes” she said. Of course Sister acknowledged that the shoes were very pretty. Later the Sister confided to me that she had been momentarily taken back. Shoes were not something that she would have considered celebrating, because she wore the shoes prescribed for her habit. Then Sister realized that she had been given a great gift in a very small package. This young girl had taught a professed religious something about poverty and detachment. Her joy and enthusiasm over a new pair of shoes was contagious.
Like the most simple and great saints, this little girl celebrated that which is common. She did not need great accomplishments or something expensive to celebrate and be joyful. She lived and taught what Christ has called us to do. “Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” We can teach these children that they are very special in God’s heart, because they teach Christ’s simplicity.
Francis, Vincent, and Mother Teresa understood the lessons of this population and they became their eager students, not just their ministers. That’s why they were known as Brother and Sister. Because a brother or a sister is an equal engaged in an on-going relationship of gift-giving.
Fraternally,
JR
B
babesinarms
Guest
Dear JR,
I was going to post earlier, asking what in fact your definition for ‘disability’ is, but didn’t have time right then. I see that you now have defined the word ‘handicap’ which, as you pointed out, has it’s origin in other times.
To use the term ‘disability’ would seem to encompass a far broader spectrum of people. It would appear from the word alone that it is in fact the opposite of those deemed to have ability. And then comes into this equation, the role of caregivers – and rightly so. One cannot be discussed without the other in order to give us the bigger picture as to what this all really entails, particularly in regards to spirituality.
I have a bi-polar mother and a father that suffered severely from depression because of post-traumatic stress disorder(now deceased); a sister with OCD; another sister with bi-polar; another sister with an anxiety disorder; a husband with post-traumatic stress disorder (incapacitating him to work); a son, aged 16, diagnosed with Asperges Syndrome when 7yrs old; a daughter who seems to have been brushed less slightly with Asperges Syndrome; relatives who have had major nervous breakdowns and depression; and friends and acquaintances whom I ultimately find out are suffering from some ‘mental incapacitation’. It requires great distancing at first to become objective in the face of all of this, particularly with relatives.:hypno: I thought for a long time that it was me that was the ‘mad’ one
, so to speak. With maturity and a LOT of soul searching and study came the ability to become objective and identify the misguided negative behavior from such people. With this came empathy and gradual acceptance and adjustment for myself. I have come to ALWAYS question my behavior in any situation for fear of operating from any trauma based action. I’m not perfect.
So when I consider all of the above, I have come to understand my disability. I have managed to adopt a ‘mothering’ attitude to these people and it’s required me to grow up from a very early age. This can become my ‘disability’ because it requires me to automatically engage in their need (because of my knee-jerk reaction in learning to do so from a very early age) In doing so, I have often enabled certain behaviours from them that aren’t beneficial to their growth, however, I do understand that now. These ‘disabilities’ push on my buttons and I can learn to respond from my ‘earthly and very human’ nature, or I can respond with love and understanding with no expectation of a return payment.
What I do recognize now, is how, in all our ‘disabilities’ we come to rather compliment one another. If I had never had these people in my life, I would never have understood the nature of what Jesus teaches to us throughout the gospels. In the midst of not having what I expected to be unconditional love from those closest to me, I learnt about the true source of unconditional love from God himself and now I never have to expect it from those around me. In their disabilities, they have shown and taught me how life can be so precious and beautiful, ugly and sinful all at the same time. People with these afflictions (as above) have shown me what suffering is in my face, they show me, without any graces, what the raw human person is. They are able to remind me of who I really am, underneath what is considered ‘normal’. They also give me great hope and joy when I witness them allowing the light of God to shine through their ‘cracks’. They remind me that we are all imperfect in the eyes of God; we are all traveling on a lifetime journey towards Christ being the center of us, not ourselves.
We are all disabled without the love and grace of God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
Thank you for highlighting this theme, J.R.,
Blessings,
Meg.
I was going to post earlier, asking what in fact your definition for ‘disability’ is, but didn’t have time right then. I see that you now have defined the word ‘handicap’ which, as you pointed out, has it’s origin in other times.
To use the term ‘disability’ would seem to encompass a far broader spectrum of people. It would appear from the word alone that it is in fact the opposite of those deemed to have ability. And then comes into this equation, the role of caregivers – and rightly so. One cannot be discussed without the other in order to give us the bigger picture as to what this all really entails, particularly in regards to spirituality.
I have a bi-polar mother and a father that suffered severely from depression because of post-traumatic stress disorder(now deceased); a sister with OCD; another sister with bi-polar; another sister with an anxiety disorder; a husband with post-traumatic stress disorder (incapacitating him to work); a son, aged 16, diagnosed with Asperges Syndrome when 7yrs old; a daughter who seems to have been brushed less slightly with Asperges Syndrome; relatives who have had major nervous breakdowns and depression; and friends and acquaintances whom I ultimately find out are suffering from some ‘mental incapacitation’. It requires great distancing at first to become objective in the face of all of this, particularly with relatives.:hypno: I thought for a long time that it was me that was the ‘mad’ one
, so to speak. With maturity and a LOT of soul searching and study came the ability to become objective and identify the misguided negative behavior from such people. With this came empathy and gradual acceptance and adjustment for myself. I have come to ALWAYS question my behavior in any situation for fear of operating from any trauma based action. I’m not perfect.So when I consider all of the above, I have come to understand my disability. I have managed to adopt a ‘mothering’ attitude to these people and it’s required me to grow up from a very early age. This can become my ‘disability’ because it requires me to automatically engage in their need (because of my knee-jerk reaction in learning to do so from a very early age) In doing so, I have often enabled certain behaviours from them that aren’t beneficial to their growth, however, I do understand that now. These ‘disabilities’ push on my buttons and I can learn to respond from my ‘earthly and very human’ nature, or I can respond with love and understanding with no expectation of a return payment.
What I do recognize now, is how, in all our ‘disabilities’ we come to rather compliment one another. If I had never had these people in my life, I would never have understood the nature of what Jesus teaches to us throughout the gospels. In the midst of not having what I expected to be unconditional love from those closest to me, I learnt about the true source of unconditional love from God himself and now I never have to expect it from those around me. In their disabilities, they have shown and taught me how life can be so precious and beautiful, ugly and sinful all at the same time. People with these afflictions (as above) have shown me what suffering is in my face, they show me, without any graces, what the raw human person is. They are able to remind me of who I really am, underneath what is considered ‘normal’. They also give me great hope and joy when I witness them allowing the light of God to shine through their ‘cracks’. They remind me that we are all imperfect in the eyes of God; we are all traveling on a lifetime journey towards Christ being the center of us, not ourselves.
We are all disabled without the love and grace of God through His Son, Jesus Christ.
Thank you for highlighting this theme, J.R.,
Blessings,
Meg.
J
JReducation
Guest
So many of you say, “thank you” when you’re posting. As I read your posts I am emotionally moved, because I am able to live out my Franciscan calling even through the internet. For this I should be thank you who have posted and those who are to come. Were it not for your replies, I would not know if I am doing any good. But your replies are a spiritual consolation that I do not deserve, but to be very honest is so welcome in my life.
My ministry to people with disabilities and their families is very demanding and exhausting too. I am exhausted by the end of the day. Sometimes I can barely pray. I lift up my heart to the Lord and with St. Faustina I pray that for the sake of his sorrowful passion he may have mercy on me and on the whole world. Then I collapse to sleep to arise in the middle of the night for the Liturgy of the Hours and back to bed until the morning Liturgy of the Hours. Then it’s off to serve the Lord again.
There is more to it than that. Besides the exhaustion, there is an awesome sense of duty and love that I find in this ministry. When I speak with parents, spouses, children and others who are in the midst of the trenches of disabilities, I am lifted in a very special way. My energy level soars and my feet feel lighter. I cannot explain it other than to say that God gives us what is lacking in each of us, so that we may fulfil his Divine Will in our lives and in society.
Our holy father Francis taught us to observe the Rule of Penance. For many this sounds like a very sad life, but in fact it is a very joyful life if one accepts the fact that we are all disabled in some way or another, that without Christ none of us is complete. The great Franciscan, Elizabeth of Hungary has been a great model for me and I hope that she can be a model to others.
Elizabeth was a regent, wife, mother, widow and a professed Franciscan. She lived her life in poverty and in service to the poor. She was alone at a very young age after the death of her husband, who may soon be canonized. But Elizabeth has something to say to us about this theme. When we unite our life and work to the work of Christ on the Cross, we can experience an intimate sense of peace despite the fatigue and the consequences that conversion often brings. She understood our holy father Francis. She understood what he meant when he wrote the Rule of Penance. Penance was not just about fasting, abstinence and other chosen sacrifices and hardships. Penance was about changing our worldview. It is about seeing others and us through the eyes of the Father. This requires work and internal discipline.
The world of disabilities offers all of us a lesson and an opportunity to change our worldview. It offers us the opportunity to see every human being as a dignified child of the Father. It offers us the opportunity to change our minds about ourselves. We are not all powerful and are not always in control. We do not always get the relatives that we want or do we have the abilities that we would like to have. We are different from one another, very able in some areas of life and very limited in other areas. We need each other.
Among the disabled, whatever their situation may be, all of us may find ourselves asking for forgiveness for offering our charity to those whom we considered to be in need of it, as St. Vincent de Paul said. Sometimes, we practice charity with a spirit of condescension instead of a spirit of conversion.
If Catholics are to really welcome the person with disabilities and his family into the Christian community, we must convert. We must change our attitudes and see others not as persons who need our charity, but see ourselves as persons who need to practice justice. We must pray for what seems impossible, but without which the way to Heaven is very difficult. We must pray for a conversion to justice. The just shall see the face of God and live.
Christ is justice. He is love. As we convert to the practice of justice and love, we convert to Christ. But Christ is not condescending. He loves because it is his nature, not because he believes that the other is in need of love. He is never condescending. He knows that all men deserve to be treated with justice and be loved. We too must embrace our mission to be just and loving, even when the price is high.
Fraternally,
JR
My ministry to people with disabilities and their families is very demanding and exhausting too. I am exhausted by the end of the day. Sometimes I can barely pray. I lift up my heart to the Lord and with St. Faustina I pray that for the sake of his sorrowful passion he may have mercy on me and on the whole world. Then I collapse to sleep to arise in the middle of the night for the Liturgy of the Hours and back to bed until the morning Liturgy of the Hours. Then it’s off to serve the Lord again.
There is more to it than that. Besides the exhaustion, there is an awesome sense of duty and love that I find in this ministry. When I speak with parents, spouses, children and others who are in the midst of the trenches of disabilities, I am lifted in a very special way. My energy level soars and my feet feel lighter. I cannot explain it other than to say that God gives us what is lacking in each of us, so that we may fulfil his Divine Will in our lives and in society.
Our holy father Francis taught us to observe the Rule of Penance. For many this sounds like a very sad life, but in fact it is a very joyful life if one accepts the fact that we are all disabled in some way or another, that without Christ none of us is complete. The great Franciscan, Elizabeth of Hungary has been a great model for me and I hope that she can be a model to others.
Elizabeth was a regent, wife, mother, widow and a professed Franciscan. She lived her life in poverty and in service to the poor. She was alone at a very young age after the death of her husband, who may soon be canonized. But Elizabeth has something to say to us about this theme. When we unite our life and work to the work of Christ on the Cross, we can experience an intimate sense of peace despite the fatigue and the consequences that conversion often brings. She understood our holy father Francis. She understood what he meant when he wrote the Rule of Penance. Penance was not just about fasting, abstinence and other chosen sacrifices and hardships. Penance was about changing our worldview. It is about seeing others and us through the eyes of the Father. This requires work and internal discipline.
The world of disabilities offers all of us a lesson and an opportunity to change our worldview. It offers us the opportunity to see every human being as a dignified child of the Father. It offers us the opportunity to change our minds about ourselves. We are not all powerful and are not always in control. We do not always get the relatives that we want or do we have the abilities that we would like to have. We are different from one another, very able in some areas of life and very limited in other areas. We need each other.
Among the disabled, whatever their situation may be, all of us may find ourselves asking for forgiveness for offering our charity to those whom we considered to be in need of it, as St. Vincent de Paul said. Sometimes, we practice charity with a spirit of condescension instead of a spirit of conversion.
If Catholics are to really welcome the person with disabilities and his family into the Christian community, we must convert. We must change our attitudes and see others not as persons who need our charity, but see ourselves as persons who need to practice justice. We must pray for what seems impossible, but without which the way to Heaven is very difficult. We must pray for a conversion to justice. The just shall see the face of God and live.
Christ is justice. He is love. As we convert to the practice of justice and love, we convert to Christ. But Christ is not condescending. He loves because it is his nature, not because he believes that the other is in need of love. He is never condescending. He knows that all men deserve to be treated with justice and be loved. We too must embrace our mission to be just and loving, even when the price is high.
Fraternally,
JR
R
redrosetea
Guest
What a beautiful blessing this thread is …I pray you have the strength to continue it, in your busy life…It speaks to many of us, and inspires me to look for God in the middle of what can sometimes come across as an interruption, instead of a chance to do something beautiful for God, and hear His voice in the cry of a baby or the babble of someone who is coping with dementia ,as my own mother is
This thread is a small spot of quiet in a noisy world
This thread is a small spot of quiet in a noisy world
J
JReducation
Guest
The red is mine.
Our holy mother St. Clare wrote
“Place your mind before the mirror of eternity!
Place your soul in the brilliance of glory.
Place your heart in the figure of the divine substance
And transform your whole being into the image of the God-head through contemplation,
So that you may feel what his friends feel.”
She was such a wise woman. She understood how to be one with others. To do so one has to escape to the world of silence, even if it is for a short while each day. We must contemplate what God sees in others, only then will we feel what they feel.
To enter into the soul of a person with disabilities or that of his loved ones is to enter into a passageway whose floors are barely scuffed, because few people have walked through these corridors. Most do not know how to do so and many do not want to do so. But the Catholic, like Clare, wants to love as Christ loves. He wants to love those whom Christ loves. He wants to feel what Christ feels.
Christ understands his friends from within. That is where Clare directs us to go. We are to go into the soul of another. But only through the power of God can we go there. If we lose sight of eternity and fail to spend time with the God-head in contemplation it will be much more difficult to accept our disabilities or to enter into the world of those who live with disabilities. The person with disabilities and those around him must enter into communion with God, bearing in mind that we want to feel what his friends feel.
Only then can we rise to a communion of spirit and realize that differences do not separate, but they compliment to build up the Body of Christ.
Fraternally,
JR
B
babesinarms
Guest
I do not wish to bring this thread off topic, but I need your clarification on what you mean by emphasizing justice as we lead our lives. Of course I haven’t an issue with justice being served. My concern comes as I follow the events of St. Mary’s Catholic Church in South Brisbane (Australia) and the priest in question that has been ‘playing this card’ (justice) for a long time now. This church has extended it’s arms outward to those groups that are considered the fringe or minority groups. This has earned wide spread appeal and his services have been overflowing. Whilst they have been providing a wonderful service to these people in need, their agenda has always been about social justice. So much so, that I believe social justice has now been removed from the understanding of the role of the Catholic Church and the theology contained therein. The predominant concern has been with administering social justice at the expense of church doctrine and teaching. Sacraments are seen to be administered invalidly, and other religions and agendas are being touted from the pulpit, homilies given by members of the congregation, chocolate freddo’s being given to children who have not made their first communion, at the communion service (so they do not feel left out), gay unions being blessed, the talk of allowing divorcees to remarry without annulments (not 100% certain about the last one), signing treaty documents with the indigineous people of this State and St. Mary’s, and it goes on. They seem to be preparing to leave the grounds of St. Mary’s and moving into a Trade Union Hall down the road that has been offered to them for free. They do believe they are still Catholics and are attempting to live out fully what Vatican II decreed and what they believe to be in the true nature of the gospels. I can’t help but feel that the agenda of social justice has become the predominant force here and in the name of love (?). On a larger scale, people seem to either be supportive of it or against it, but their are a lot of people who don’t really know how to respond to this situation. Could you possibly comment on this?JR
J
JReducation
Guest
I can’t comment on the situation in your parish or your diocese, because that would take this thread off course. But I can answer your question about justice.
The Gospel and the Church recognize that every human being is a son and daughter of the Father. Every human being must be received and welcome as such. Such an understanding of the other person is not charity, it is justice. Every person has a right to be accepted as a child of God and to be understood as St. Clare said, a friend of God’s.
Clare reminds us to look toward God, through prayer, especially before the Blessed Sacrament, for the grace to see and understand how His friends feel. In order to respond to the needs of the Mystical Body, we must understand the needs of its members. These needs are spiritual, physical, psychological and social. God embraces the whole person and sent his Son to save the whole person.
Clare understood this, so did Francis, Vincent de Paul, Louise de Marillac, Elizabeth of Hungary, Mother Teresa and John Paul II. Clare expresses it well in the quote that I posted above.
If our justice and love are to be evangelical, we must enter into the God-head. We must practice contemplative prayer and let the fruits of contemplation lead us.
Vincent de Paul and Francis of Assisi taught this lesson very well. You cannot practice charity as Christ practiced it, if you do not practice justice as the Father does. The Father’s justice is merciful and inviting. While he knows the sinfulness of his children and their human weaknesses, because he created the human condition and knows what it can and cannot achieve, he also recognizes his Son through the face of every man and woman.
Gospel justice is the recognition of Christ’s face in every person. That’s why Mother Teresa once said that she did not care if a man was a Muslim, Hindu, Christian, or Jew. Because regardless of what each man called himself, she could see the face of Christ. That is evangelical justice.
This does not mean that Blessed Mother Teresa was not interested in evangelization. She was interested in finding Christ first. The rest would follow.
In this environment where we are speaking about people with disabilities and their families, we must find Christ in them and help them find Christ in their situation. Once Christ is found, the rest follows. It is not charity to look for Christ or to show the face of Christ to another. It is a matter of justice. Every man and woman has been called to find Christ and to proclaim him to the world by helping the world find him where he is to be found. This is a duty. That which is done out of duty is justice.
Too often, Christ’s face in people with disabilities and their families and friends who live in this situation is neglected. We often expect others to do as we do without respect or recognition of their unique circumstances or condition. This is not justice. The conditions are different. The vocation is different. The emphasis of their spiritual life is different. The goal is always the same, intimate union with the Divine, but not by the same path as others.
The path of a person with disabilities abd the family is a very special path. A Catholic who chooses not to respect it, and support it, runs the risk of failing in justice. The person is choosing to remain ignorant of the needs and gifts of a specific member of the Mystical Body. If one does not know or understand, that’s different. If one chooses not to learn in order to understand, that’s unjust.
This is not a social program. This is a Gospel program. When Francis and Damien de Veuster went to the lepers they did not go on some social campaign. They saw brothers and sisters whom they should love and with whom they should share the redemptive mystery of Christ. They understood that they had to go to them.
When people with disabilities and their families enter our parish community, our neighborhood, our place of employment, they too have a special place in the heart and mind of God. Each of us has a different place in the heart and mind of God. Justice requires that we acknowledge this and charity drives us to love. We have to go to those who are in different circumstances and help them understand their given path to the Lord or learn from them how to get closer to God. There is a great deal that people with disabilities and their family can teach the rest of us. I’m speaking from personal experience. We do ourselves an injustice when we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to learn how to approach God.
Thus St. Clare again says
"If a mother loves and nourishes her daughters according to the flesh, how much more lovingly must a sister love and nourish her sisters according to the Spirit."
Clare understood that love is not an act of charity, but an act of justice toward those whom God has put along our path. For this reason, our love toward persons with disabilities and their loved ones is also an act of justice. It is not a choice. It is a duty according to the Gospel. Those of us who have embraced the Gospel as a way of life, are called to love with a greater intensity than a natural mother. Fulfilling one’s call is not charity. It is duty.
But when we love, we must also seek to understand, as St. Francis says in his prayer. And when we practice charity, we must do it with a sense of justice so that we will not have to ask for forgiveness from those whom we served, as St. Vincent wrote to his Daughters of Charity.
Justice is a very deep theological construct, almost too complicated to completely define and discuss in one post. But I hope this helps.
Fraternally,
JR
B
babesinarms
Guest
It helps a littleJR
???, but frankly if we are to engage in this kind of justice you speak of, should not the teaching be somewhat more clearer, or are we meant to be theologians to understand such things??I can appreciate your not commenting on this particular parish, but wanted you to know that I am not a member of it (past parishioner).
Perhaps I could give you a more personal example to comment on. I have recently made an acquaintance with a lady whose daughter and mine have become friends recently. This girl has spent much time at our place and therefore has become accustomed to the manner of things we do: eg: prayers at the table, advent calender activities we did throughout advent - teaching the children about specifics of Christmas through fun activities etc and general conversations in which she felt very much a part of. She has returned home and told her mother of these things. We sometimes meet in passing and have had a few regular conversations, or when children are being picked up from one anothers. Last week she totally took me by surprise and told me how she longed to do the things with her children that we were doing. She wanted to learn about these things. Of course I was very supportive and intend on giving her the time and material in due course. We then chatted about other things and it came to light that she is fully bi-polar (which I had suspected), but was on a course that was railing her to deaths door (she has tried to commit suicide 3 times in the past year before I knew her). She had just come from yelling at God as to why he wasn’t answering her and then said she just realized He had after this conversation. She had an incredibly abusive childhood, her mother forced her father to choose between his wife or this 3rd daughter. The father chose the wife (they are not religious at all). She was then institutionalized in three different places growing up, and was sexually abused since the age of 5. Other horrid things happened to her and she finally landed on the streets for three years on drugs and whatever else goes. She had become a fighter and managed to get herself cleaned up by herself. She then met her current husband and has been married for the past 12 years. She has sought professional help, but felt no-one understood her dilemma and let it go. She has struggled this far to stay alive and have two beautiful daughters and a verrry patient husband. They are living on the edge now as her problem resurfaces. Instead of preaching the gospel to her, I deemed it far more appropriate to HEAR her story first - that is what so many suffering from mental health issues seem to need first and foremost. Within these parameters of trust, she has been able to open up for the first time, she says, with me. There are immediate concerns that need to be dealt with re finances and proper medical help. She invited us over for a bbq to discuss these issues. I came fully prepared with financial information that would give her some ease in her current situation and how to proceed in getting this. Her therapy was discussed and she is quite willing to try again in the light of what we discussed. By the time we left, she was in tears because she felt that no-one had ever bothered to help her like that before. Having walked in the shoes of suffering, I could only empathize with her as much as I could. There was never a question of whether that help would be forthcoming or not from me. It was simply a need there that one responds to. I believe Jesus fed the crowds first (ie he administered to their need first) and then preached the word to them. I have every intention of allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me in this as the right things to say re the gospel. This will be forthcoming when the time is right. She has a natural curiosity for needing and wanting to know about faith matters. I cannot help but recall the words of St.Francis “go and preach the gospel, use words as least as possible” (or something like that).
Which brings me back to this notion of justice that you speak of. Is it because I have the intention of attempting to help her meet her needs first that it becomes an issue of charity or justice?? Or both, after I am able to share Christ with her in a more theoretical manner?? I can appreciate your comment on this being a deeper theological construct than one can offer in one posting alone. However, there has to be a more clearer and concise way of addressing what this is. Have I operated from the wrong direction? I really could not imagine engaging her in the teachings of the gospels when she is simply struggling with knowing how to live and take care of her daughters and keeping her marriage intact. This is not to say that occasional references were made to these teachings along the way and I would envisage these being further brought to light as the occasion presented itself. Am I showing charity or justice??
Thanks,
Meg.
Sorry if this is so long, but if you don’t ask, how will we ever know?
J
JReducation
Guest
babesinarms
It helps a little
I took the liberty of cutting the post so that I could have some space to respond. Meg, you’re doing the right thing. This is the true meaning of justice and love. They go hand in hand. I’ll give you a citation from the General Chapter of the Secular Franciscans Order. The General Chapter of any order is its highest form of government and spiritual leadership.
This is an excellent theological statement that any Catholic can use. The document was translated from Latin to English by the General Councilor to the English speaking Franciscans. But he’s from Hungary and his grammar is a little off. I hope you don’t mind.
**Secular Franciscans are asked in a personal and communal way to pay attention to the weakest and to do works of mercy: approaching the sick, teaching the illiterate, caring for children, helping the elderly, comforting the afflicted… These are the duties that we always have, practiced by the Brothers and Sisters of Penance from their beginnings, but today these duties present themselves often in new ways and they require new ways of intervention. (Which is what you’re doing. You’re using a different way to get to the same place as our Christian anscestors did.)
But be careful: one must not confuse the end with the means. The means are the life and the word but the end is evangelization ("Go and proclaim the Gospel to all people. …”). “…There exists in some the idea that social projects are meant to be acted upon with the greatest urgency, while the things that pertain to God or the Catholic faith are things more or less details and have less priority. Nevertheless. …wisdom dictates that evangelization should take precedence, that the God of Jesus Christ should be known, believed and loved, so that even social things can progress, for the advent of reconciliation. …Social action and the Gospel are simply inseparable**
That last statement says it all. Social action and the Gospel are inseparable. Support the family and person with disabilities and help them see that it is Christ, not you or I, who is the source of their support. We are only small instruments in the hand of a loving and merciful God who brought us together.
When we do it this way, justice is satisfied, becasuse we have “rendered to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” God is the source of all assistance. As we help people realize this, we are nurturing their relationship with Christ. We have met people where they are, rather than where we want them to be. This is charity and mercy hand-in-hand.
By responding to their needs with a spirit of charity and mercy, you are being a just person, because you are giving someone what they need and what they have a right to receive, support. As you help them see that it is not you, but Christ who is serving them, you are also being just, because you are not taking away from Christ what is his, the glory.
Fraternally,
JR
J
JReducation
Guest
Before I call it a night, I just wanted to say that I feel so privileged to be speaking with such wonderful people on this thread. I’m inspired and I will certainly keep all of you in prayer during tomorrow’s liturgy.
Fraternally,
JR
Fraternally,
JR
B
babesinarms
Guest
Thank you, this has made it a lot clearer. It sometimes has to be put into the context of our everyday living to get a clearer picture and I appreciate the time and effort you have put into this to explain as much.
Have a well deserved rest,
Blessings,
Meg.
Have a well deserved rest,
Blessings,
Meg.
E
Eucharisted
Guest
I am a little shy at sharing, because I don’t want to sound great or sound special or make myself appear to be a star of this thread.
But I do wish to glory in the Cross and extol God’s Mercy, by the grace of God, and so I shall begin. I was born prematurely, and the doctors said I wouldn’t live. My twin died, but not without baptism, and I know he is in Heaven now, enjoying the Vision of God. In a way I envy him, and in a way I know he envies me, because on one hand I long for God, and on the other hand, he longs to suffer; indeed, suffering is a grace which we mortals have.
I survived death only by the miracle of God, and, perhaps because of this, I was named Nick, “Victory”. My life is a grace, just as everyone’s life is grace, but what I mean is, I understand more than some that life is really a grace and we ought to use it to the praise and glory of God’s Name, just as with every grace of God, and truly, everything is a grace. I suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome, which for a while I considered a curse, but now, after meditating upon Jesus’ Passion, I have realized that it is not a curse but a blessing, a gift of God’s Mercy; it is physical evil, but God has permitted it for my greater good. I believe that, with every little cross I receive - and this disorder is no exception - before God handed it over to me He carried it Himself to Calvary, and then, having carried it, having warmed it with His hands, and sanctified it with His Blood, and taken a good long look at me, He handed the cross over to me, so that I might carry it for Him and with Him. “Take care of the Cross, Nicholas, for it is the sign of your salvation. Be a good steward.”
I like to think that being disabled is no different from being normal. The disabiled individual is able to think and talk and write and work, to his capability, and he understands just as we all do, and he can meditate and pray just as all we do. The only difference between a man without a disability and a man with a disability is the Cross. I may not have good skills, and I will certainly screw up, and I indeed do need God’s Mercy, but I am still a man, still a creature, still dust at the Lord’s feet, and so, I do want I can to live and love, and we all do what we can to live and love in the circumstances in which we find ourselves, for how it can be otherwise? Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without my cross, but than I remember that Jesus, too, always had His Cross since infancy, and so, rather than pondering upon ‘what if,’ I ponder upon the Lord’s Passion and I thank Him for this piece of His Cross, for I am not worthy to share in His hour of glory, let alone to be in His Prescence, I who am a miserable creature and a wretched sinner.
O my Jesus, I offer You all my crosses and splinters of crosses, for love of You and for the conversion of sinners. Amen.
But I do wish to glory in the Cross and extol God’s Mercy, by the grace of God, and so I shall begin. I was born prematurely, and the doctors said I wouldn’t live. My twin died, but not without baptism, and I know he is in Heaven now, enjoying the Vision of God. In a way I envy him, and in a way I know he envies me, because on one hand I long for God, and on the other hand, he longs to suffer; indeed, suffering is a grace which we mortals have.
I survived death only by the miracle of God, and, perhaps because of this, I was named Nick, “Victory”. My life is a grace, just as everyone’s life is grace, but what I mean is, I understand more than some that life is really a grace and we ought to use it to the praise and glory of God’s Name, just as with every grace of God, and truly, everything is a grace. I suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome, which for a while I considered a curse, but now, after meditating upon Jesus’ Passion, I have realized that it is not a curse but a blessing, a gift of God’s Mercy; it is physical evil, but God has permitted it for my greater good. I believe that, with every little cross I receive - and this disorder is no exception - before God handed it over to me He carried it Himself to Calvary, and then, having carried it, having warmed it with His hands, and sanctified it with His Blood, and taken a good long look at me, He handed the cross over to me, so that I might carry it for Him and with Him. “Take care of the Cross, Nicholas, for it is the sign of your salvation. Be a good steward.”
I like to think that being disabled is no different from being normal. The disabiled individual is able to think and talk and write and work, to his capability, and he understands just as we all do, and he can meditate and pray just as all we do. The only difference between a man without a disability and a man with a disability is the Cross. I may not have good skills, and I will certainly screw up, and I indeed do need God’s Mercy, but I am still a man, still a creature, still dust at the Lord’s feet, and so, I do want I can to live and love, and we all do what we can to live and love in the circumstances in which we find ourselves, for how it can be otherwise? Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without my cross, but than I remember that Jesus, too, always had His Cross since infancy, and so, rather than pondering upon ‘what if,’ I ponder upon the Lord’s Passion and I thank Him for this piece of His Cross, for I am not worthy to share in His hour of glory, let alone to be in His Prescence, I who am a miserable creature and a wretched sinner.
O my Jesus, I offer You all my crosses and splinters of crosses, for love of You and for the conversion of sinners. Amen.
T
T.A.Stobie_SFO
Guest
Being disabled and working with the disabled gives a different perspective in life. A lot of things that many assume are given and present automatically are in fact, a gift for God.
Read: Thanking God for Everyday Things.
It is God’s providence that can turn a disability into a blessing.
God Bless.
Read: Thanking God for Everyday Things.
It is God’s providence that can turn a disability into a blessing.
God Bless.
E
eludwig
Guest
I agree full heartily with this statement. For the past five years I have worked with this population, and currently work in a group home. Seeing the individuals in my home deal with their disabilities gives me great appriciation for what I have. I have also witnessed the same in some of the residents in my home. One of our residents can only eat purred foods and thickened liquids and is confined to his bed due to other health issues. Every day the other residents always say things like, I am so glad I don’t have to eat like that or I’m glad I get to go out of the house and work, etc.
In our homes, the residents attend a day training program where they work for a few hours, but recieve little pay. They also have other sources of money, but most of this goes to paying their rent bill. I have seen many times residents buying a special treat for thier roommate or a staff member who helped them achieve a goal. I consider myself to be a pretty giving person, but if I was on a budget of $5-10 a week, I don’t know if i’d share that freely and with such joy.
I think the disabled population is a great gift and blessing from God. From my experience, most disabled people have a bright outlook on life, even though they are faced daily with obstacles physically, mentally, and emotionally. They also tend to be very loving and show a great deal of concern to those they are around. One of my residents asks me each day how I am doing, and knows all of my siblings and parents by name and asks about them too. Another keeps a list of birthdays of all the residents, staff, and their family and makes birthday cards or draws them a picture. This has taught me what it truly means to be a friend and the importance of being pressent in someone’s life.
Don’t get me wrong, having a disability or caring for someone who has one is no walk in the park. From a caretakers point of few, the struggles I witness from the individuals I work with break my heart, but there are so many times when I experience joy- whether seeing them accomplish a goal, or finally understanding a concept, or recieving a special treat for a thank you. I will never get rich by the world’s standards by working in this field, but I am making millions each day in my spirit. I have learned lessons about myself that I never would have learned, I have witnessed how to bear a cross with joy, and have made countlees loyal friends.
C
catharina
Guest
Profound and so very beautiful. Thank you.
C
catharina
Guest
Precisely.
Learning to recognize the “ordinary” in our lives as the unmerited gifts of God is life-changing for anyone. It leads one to St. Paul: “Give thanks always … in everything, give thanks.”
C
catharina
Guest
Yes, so true.
- Status