Disappointed by recent confession

[PhilXavier]

I had not attended mass for several months, and committed a whole host of other sins. Some of you may have seen my other recent thread. Anyway, I was dragged back from the brink by the good people on this forum. I determined to go to confession so I could be absolved of my sins, and thus partake of the Eucharist at mass. I was not able to attend confession at the time offered at my local parish, so determined to go to my Mother’s parish, as they offer confession at 17:30 on Saturdays ahead of the 18:00 Sunday vigil mass. The parish priest is also close to my family. I arrived at church, and checked on the news sheet to confirm that confession was still at 17:30 which it was. I was waiting in church, the time came and went, no sign. I asked one of the assistants, and they went into the back and presently the priest came out. He told me that we would have to be quick as he wanted to lead the congregation in saying the rosary, and that confession had been cancelled for the next two weeks, but they had forgotten to remove it from the newsletter. I felt so hurried that I forgot to mention all the sins I wanted to confess, and I was then absolved of all sins without being asked to make an act of contrition. I usually feel incredibly comforted following confession, but this time I was worrying about it, and actually had a sleepless night thinking about it. Was this a valid confession, and do you think It’s reasonable of me to be disappointed by it? Should l go to confession again to confess the sins I forgot to mention?

 

[Wesrock]

I’m sorry to hear about your experience. That’s certainly not how I would want my confession to happen. Still, I think you can take comfort and trust your priest that your sins are absolved. The only exception would be if you intentionally withheld confessing mortal sins. If you’re unsure whether you did due to the hurried nature of your confession, then don’t worry. You would absolutely know if you had done this or intended to do it. If you were under stress, and made an honest and good intentioned confession, I would not worry. Yhe fact that your worried, to me anyway, shows that you fully intended to be honest and thorough. God knows your heart, and you made use of the sacrament he gave us. I do wish you better experiences in the confessional in the future, though!

 

[CatholicRaven]

I agree with Wesrock’s post. I have found that, when running short on time, some priests suggest penitents pray the Act of Contrition outside of the Confessional, anyway (before or after their Confession).

As I understand it, all that is actually necessary for a good Confession is:
– an examination of your conscience (does not need to be a formal one)
– contrition for your sins (and this may be imperfect contrition)
– a resolve to avoid repeating your sins (sometimes called “purpose of amendment,” and usually expressed in a formal Act of Contrition prayer, but doesn’t have to be formal)
– the confession of your sins to a priest
– acceptance of your penance, and performing it in a timely manner (as best as you are able)

If you forget to mention some mortal sins, they are still forgiven and your Confession was still valid, but you should mention them in your next Confession, such as: “at my last Confession, I forgot to confess _______.” It’s different if you intentionally neglect to mention a sin (or information that may change the nature of a sin). But it sounds like you were just rushed and didn’t mean to withhold information or sins.
And, FWIW, it also sounds to me like you met all of the requirements.

 

[Kurisu35712]

Your experience does sound disappointing, as I’m sure you were expecting the “full experience” so to speak, but as others have pointed out, your confession was absolutely valid. You didn’t intentionally withhold any sins, so you’re good to go.

Also, in my parish, the priests have us say our act of contrition back in the mess to help speed up the process. If it’s bothering you, just say one right now.

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I am sorry for your experience with the confessor. In a similar circumstance, I would have asked someone else to lead, or at least begin, the rosary since anyone could do that but only the priest can celebrate with you the sacrament of penance…one should never assume that the sacrament can be celebrated quickly. That expectation or demand can put a lot of stress on a penitent.

You have experienced one of the challenges of parish life today, I’m afraid, as the priest has to balance being pulled in multiple directions at the same time. Since, as you say, the priest is close to your family, he may not have appreciated that this was a confession that would – in this particular circumstance – require more time and effort on his part than he surmised.

Unhappy experiences with confession can be very upsetting but please try to put this particular one behind you. I encourage you to return to the sacrament frequently so as to grow in the sacramental life; frequent reception also happily obviates elaborate confessions.

Also, we are not all equally gifted as confessors. I hope you find a confessor best suited to help you grow spiritually through the sacrament of reconciliation well and tranquilly celebrated.

 

[TimothyH]

We receive God’s mercy and healing in the sacrament. Rejoice!

Feelings of worry and doubt are from the evil one.

-Tim-

 

[Catholic4Christ]

You did fine, no need to worry. As others have said, you did your best and received absolution - take comfort in that great gift! In fact, what a great opportunity to offer the shortcomings of your experience up to God for yourself and for the priest!

Unfortunately, I have found that the parishes that only schedule thirty minutes a week for confessions tend to also be the parishes where the priest is often late or confessions get frequently cancelled. Of course, we should give Father the benefit of the doubt - we cannot know his situation (though as another said, anyone can lead a Rosary, only a priest can hear confessions).

I will say, though, that I attend a parish with an huge, expanding community - the church seats about 1400 people and every Sunday Mass (there are five I think) is packed, and it covers a lot of territory, and is also a school, and has lots of weddings and baptisms and weekday masses. There are only two priests, with very busy schedules. Both hear confessions almost without fail twice a week for about an hour or so both times, and are very open to appointments. The parishioners in turn take advantage of this.

Our local diocesan cathedral downtown is a very small building (though the attendance is pretty high), that also has a school and covers a lot of territory and does all kinds of other sacramental stuff at the church and elsewhere. There are two (or three?) priests there. They hear confessions every day (except Sundays) after daily mass Monday-Friday and before evening Mass on Saturday. There are always people in line and there is almost without fail a priest present, despite their extremely busy schedules the rest of the week.

When I was an undergraduate in college, the campus ministry had one priest. Three Sunday Masses at the school chapel (almost always full) plus daily Mass at the campus ministry house. He heard confessions for an hour Thursday nights during Adoration, for 30-40 minutes before each of the three Sunday Masses, and regularly took walk-in Confessions in his office. Students and adults were always in his confession lines, and he heard them almost without fail despite his increasingly busy schedule unless he had to go out of town.

All I’m getting at is, the priest who heard your confession is probably a very busy man and should be given the benefit of the doubt if confessions had to be cancelled for that long. But there are many, extremely busy priests who always make time to hear confessions - and in my experience, they are some of the best confessors because of how much of their own time they offer up to wait in the confessional for penitents. We’re about to enter the Year of Mercy - and mercy is what the Church is all about. I don’t know if there are many churches in or near your area, but I would recommend checking around for a parish with a more substantial confession schedule, even if it isn’t your home parish or your family parish, because the Sacrament of Penance is such a gift to have within grasp.