Disappointed your prayers are appreciated!

[iluvmybabies]

I hate myself for this but my ex always gets the best of me!!! I had a great weekend this past weekend, with the kids trick-or-treating, then my fiance’s parents decided to give us a break and babysat for several hours and we partied with adults, it was great, I even sang kareoke first time ever! It was nice!! Played pool, it was a very nice weekend, first one in like 7 years that I have had without my children and actual adult time!!! There were several of us together and we just talked, all that time about adult stuff not ninja turtles or which candy was the best one for whom!!! lol…I mean I think we deserve a break once in a while!! lol…

The week had started pretty well as well. 2 of our friends hooked up and hit it off like a snap, it was amazing and I think they are so sweet for each other!! I felt like I accomplished something and was very proud of myself and so is my fiance!! We have been waiting to see these 2 people happy with someone that actually is interested in them and not wanting to use them that it was a blessing from above that they finally found each other!! Over all I was grateful and thankful for all the blessings GOD has given me throughout my life and this weekend!!

And then a bomb gets dropped on me!!!
Please allow me to explain…

For most of you whom have read my threads and discussed with me know a bit about my history and with my ex…a very abusive irresponsible and manipulating man…

Well he used to have a good job, making around 2000 grand a month, take home…He never called the child support agency to let them know about it right, so they did a background check and caught him…they threatened to take his license away etc etc etc…then he told me they did…whatever…not feeling sorry for himm 3 children…single mom, leaving kids with babysitter and having suicidal issues with my daughter…no fun at all!!!
So no I don’t feel sorry for him…

He started getting his paycheck garnished, he would call me and email me and threaten me to tke them away that he was going to quit etc etc etc…I would cry constantly…he dated a woman that would harass me and threaten me etc I was terrified I was going to lose my children! It has been a nightmare for me with this man… He quit working 4 months ago, not even a single penny for his kids, not once, hasn’t even seen them in almost 3 years, doesn’t care to. Every time I would tell him I would help him with his plane ticket to come here and visit them he would refuse, etc… But he wanted me to send my tinytots by themselves to see him in an airplane? Can you say insane???

Now he’s engaged, he has taken his fiance and her children to disney world like 4 times I haven’t even gone to chuckee cheeses in 2 years with my kids…My son’s bday is coming and I can’t afford a cake…My fiance is the one buying it for me!! I feel terrible that he’s been helping me so much…when it should be their father doing this…

They found out that he’s working again. They started garnishment again, he sends me today another threatening letter and I don’t care if anyone that knows him sees this and knows who this is, I am sad and disappointed and not sure what to think or do…I know this shall pass as well but the fact is that I am tired of hearing from this man…He torments me and knows that he does…He pranked called me this morning through a cell phone that had been disconnected??? And when I called him back it was connected and he lied and said he hadn’t called me and he didn’t know what I was talking about!!! I thank GOD we don’t live close…I do every day! All he is good for is to ruin my sanity and my peace!! When we don’t hear from him my children and I are at peace…total peace…When he calls or emails or writes my children get confused and it hurts them when he tells them he can’t see them because of me!!!

He told me today that he is quitting his job because they take 90% of his paycheck…no one can do that without a court order, and I am tired of his manipulation and his ability to ruin my day!!! He said it’s my fault he can’t send our child a bday gift because he can’t pay his 1000 rent, and doesn’t have enough to eat?! I was so happy…things were going well even though I am broke and have to have food stamps to feed my children…

I don’t understand how there can be some men that don’t care about their children enough to take away the only means of support from them just because they want to please themselves, their new woman and her kids?!

It’s a really sad day for me…I can’t believe he’s quitting again and there is nothing anyone can do about it…while his children have problems and issues, and I have problems feeding them… :eek

 

[BlestOne]

I went through this for years… every time they found him and started garnishing his check… he quit his job. I got the threats about taking away my children too… and like you it caused me alot of grief… then a lawyer explained to me that it is almost impossible to take children away from their mother especially when the father has had no role in their lives for so long… it empowered me! What can he do? NADA! He can call and be abusive… he can quit job after job… but he can’t take your kids away… don’t worry! The kids may not get it now… but in a few years they will see the disneyworld and other trips with “her” kids and they will draw their own conclusions… just wait… and do your best to raise your kids right.

 

[iluvmybabies]

I went through this for years… every time they found him and started garnishing his check… he quit his job. I got the threats about taking away my children too… and like you it caused me alot of grief… then a lawyer explained to me that it is almost impossible to take children away from their mother especially when the father has had no role in their lives for so long… it empowered me! What can he do? NADA! He can call and be abusive… he can quit job after job… but he can’t take your kids away… don’t worry! The kids may not get it now… but in a few years they will see the disneyworld and other trips with “her” kids and they will draw their own conclusions… just wait… and do your best to raise your kids right.

Thanks I appreciate your advise and help!! It’s just so devastating to think again I will be left without enough money to do the things I need to do and pay my bills…To be able to give my kids a Christmas and my son a bday…It’s really disappointing…And I am very sad…

I am not afraid of his threats to take my children away I am afraid of getting kicked out in the streets again because he’s not helping me with his responsibilities…and now he’s quitting another job…he owes again over 8 grand he was almost caught up thanks to income tax refund and the stimulus check he received…but back again and him quittin again? OMG I am so devastated…I can not ask my family for any more help and I am sad to bother my fiance for help as well!!

 

[Ruthie]

I’m sure I am not the only one praying for you. I’m glad your fiance loves the kids, and can afford the birthday cake. A good man!

Praying hard,

Ruthie

 

[capsaicin]

Um… call the police. Show them all the threatening letters. Have them pull your phone records for the crank calls. Punish the bastard for his treatment of you. If you are not going to get any money out of him anyway, don’t let him threaten and harass you. Get him on a charge of stalking or terrorist threat! Throw his butt in jail… that oughta shut him up for a while. And if he starts it up again after he gets out… he’ll most likely be on parole, and a parole violation will get him thrown back in the clink posthaste. Make his life miserable, so he can’t make yours miserable anymore.

Cake mixes cost around a buck at Walmart, and the frosting is like a buck and a half or two. So you could make a cake for pretty cheap.

 

[whatevergirl]

And then a bomb gets dropped on me!!!
Please allow me to explain…

For most of you whom have read my threads and discussed with me know a bit about my history and with my ex…a very abusive irresponsible and manipulating man…

Well he used to have a good job, making around 2000 grand a month, take home…He never called the child support agency to let them know about it right, so they did a background check and caught him…they threatened to take his license away etc etc etc…then he told me they did…whatever…not feeling sorry for himm 3 children…single mom, leaving kids with babysitter and having suicidal issues with my daughter…no fun at all!!!
So no I don’t feel sorry for him…

He started getting his paycheck garnished, he would call me and email me and threaten me to tke them away that he was going to quit etc etc etc…I would cry constantly…he dated a woman that would harass me and threaten me etc I was terrified I was going to lose my children! It has been a nightmare for me with this man… He quit working 4 months ago, not even a single penny for his kids, not once, hasn’t even seen them in almost 3 years, doesn’t care to. Every time I would tell him I would help him with his plane ticket to come here and visit them he would refuse, etc… But he wanted me to send my tinytots by themselves to see him in an airplane? Can you say insane???

Now he’s engaged, he has taken his fiance and her children to disney world like 4 times I haven’t even gone to chuckee cheeses in 2 years with my kids…My son’s bday is coming and I can’t afford a cake…My fiance is the one buying it for me!! I feel terrible that he’s been helping me so much…when it should be their father doing this…

They found out that he’s working again. They started garnishment again, he sends me today another threatening letter and I don’t care if anyone that knows him sees this and knows who this is, I am sad and disappointed and not sure what to think or do…I know this shall pass as well but the fact is that I am tired of hearing from this man…He torments me and knows that he does…He pranked called me this morning through a cell phone that had been disconnected??? And when I called him back it was connected and he lied and said he hadn’t called me and he didn’t know what I was talking about!!! I thank GOD we don’t live close…I do every day! All he is good for is to ruin my sanity and my peace!! When we don’t hear from him my children and I are at peace…total peace…When he calls or emails or writes my children get confused and it hurts them when he tells them he can’t see them because of me!!!

He told me today that he is quitting his job because they take 90% of his paycheck…no one can do that without a court order, and I am tired of his manipulation and his ability to ruin my day!!! He said it’s my fault he can’t send our child a bday gift because he can’t pay his 1000 rent, and doesn’t have enough to eat?! I was so happy…things were going well even though I am broke and have to have food stamps to feed my children…

I don’t understand how there can be some men that don’t care about their children enough to take away the only means of support from them just because they want to please themselves, their new woman and her kids?!

It’s a really sad day for me…I can’t believe he’s quitting again and there is nothing anyone can do about it…while his children have problems and issues, and I have problems feeding them… :eek

I have been following this…and I’m so sorry.

Three words for you–GET YOURSELF A LAWYER. Ok, that’s four words. lol Also, I’d get a restraining order so he can’t just show up and start threatening you. Also, get one against the fiancee. You don’t need to tolerate threats and harassment. I would get a good lawyer ASAP. This guy is bad bad news, and he needs to know that you mean business…

Let him quit. Let him work. Doesn’t matter. The courts will see to it that you get the back pay owed, and track him so when he gets anything–an IRS stimulus check or ANYTHING, part will go to your children. In Florida, it’s a percentage of your earnings, and if you choose to quit your job, you still have to come up with the child support. (not the same as losing your job, or being layed off) Bottom line, you have been forgiving, you have tried to help him even…but at this point, you need to get serious, and firm…and unless his fiancee (ever wonder how women are attracted to these types? a man who continuously quits his job, and abandoned his kids…yeah, there’s a catch ) plans to support him forever, he will find work again–it’s just a way to get you to stop asking for support. Sad. But, your children are your priority…and he needs to support them. Period. So, stop asking for support…and now get a lawyer to do the asking. So…please get yourself a GOOD lawyer. Look around…they are out there, and will get you results.

God bless–I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[whatevergirl]

Um… call the police. Show them all the threatening letters. Have them pull your phone records for the crank calls. Punish the bastard for his treatment of you. If you are not going to get any money out of him anyway, don’t let him threaten and harass you. Get him on a charge of stalking or terrorist threat! Throw his butt in jail… that oughta shut him up for a while. And if he starts it up again after he gets out… he’ll most likely be on parole, and a parole violation will get him thrown back in the clink posthaste. Make his life miserable, so he can’t make yours miserable anymore.

Holy manoli! lol
Well, if he’s in jail…he won’t be working…the key is to get him to stick with a job, to pay for support…but your reply is a classic!

Cake mixes cost around a buck at Walmart, and the frosting is like a buck and a half or two. So you could make a cake for pretty cheap.

 

[iluvmybabies]

I have been following this…and I’m so sorry.

Three words for you–GET YOURSELF A LAWYER. Ok, that’s four words. lol Also, I’d get a restraining order so he can’t just show up and start threatening you. Also, get one against the fiancee. You don’t need to tolerate threats and harassment. I would get a good lawyer ASAP. This guy is bad bad news, and he needs to know that you mean business…

Here’s the thing there aren’t any lawyers at all that will do this for free so I can’t afford to get one!! I have been asking my family for help and seeing if they even knew someone who would help and nothing…I am broke, I am one of those single mom’s that if it wasn’t because I stay later at work would probably have to be on welfare but THANK GOD I am not…It’s not that I am too proud it’s just that uhm I don’t feel right…You know I know there are others in worst condition than I am…And the worst part is that no matter what child support has to go into your “other income” category even though at the end of the year for tax purposes they don’t count?! Makes no sense at all!! But whatever it’s another way for the govt to control you and make you even more broke than you are!!

Let him quit. Let him work. Doesn’t matter. The courts will see to it that you get the back pay owed, and track him so when he gets anything–an IRS stimulus check or ANYTHING, part will go to your children. In Florida, it’s a percentage of your earnings, and if you choose to quit your job, you still have to come up with the child support. (not the same as losing your job, or being layed off) Bottom line, you have been forgiving, you have tried to help him even…but at this point, you need to get serious, and firm…and unless his fiancee (ever wonder how women are attracted to these types? a man who continuously quits his job, and abandoned his kids…yeah, there’s a catch ) plans to support him forever, he will find work again–it’s just a way to get you to stop asking for support. Sad. But, your children are your priority…and he needs to support them. Period. So, stop asking for support…and now get a lawyer to do the asking. So…please get yourself a GOOD lawyer. Look around…they are out there, and will get you results.
Well that’s the thing, he told her all these terrible things about me…She thinks I am this huge B…His family agreed with him as well when I was humiliated over and over and over again by them…His mother passed when he was 13 so he didn’t believe in GOD until I came into his life and then started hating me because he saw how united our family was and all he wanted was me to himself and he wanted to keep me manipulated…He hated it to know that I was independent, he couldn’t stand it causing me to humiliate myself for him even more…It was a really breaking relationship, and we rented an apt from his grandma and she kicked me out in the streets because she told all of my family about 100+ people and their family another 100+ people, not exagerating either, that I stole money from her constantly!! As poor as I am I have never done such a thing ever, it’s not pride it’s my being brought up with the fear of GOD, and the fact that I was never raised like that and everyone in my and her family believed it to be true!! And worst she said I stole 10 grand from her!!! I was like first of all if I would steel such that amount of money I wouldn’t be anywhere near them, second of all I would make sure I had a brand new car or something, and yet I was living with one vehicle, broke, and in her apt?! Make any sense? I couldn’t believe her and when I comfronted her and asked why she lied she told me straight out “BECAUSE I CAN AND FEEL LIKE IT WHAT THE H#LL ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!” I will tell you what I did, after I told her she was the most evil thing in this planet and she didn’t deserve to be loved, she kicked me out, then I beat the **** out of my exhusband, no kidding you, I grabbed the first thing within my reach when he looked at me and said, while I was in tears and on the floor broken, he said to me “oh she doesnt mean it come one lets go to bed tomorrow watch she’ll forget all about it and all will be ok!!” I grabbed my pot and brought him to his knees!! I know it was wrong and I am not proud of it but I was dead inside…And this is why I left him…He never cared about me at all…And I can’t afford a lawyer!!

God bless–I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Thank you and may GOD bless you as well…It’s just really difficult and I don’t know what to do…The new fiance he has she isn’t the one that harassed me it was the first or the second one or the third one he had… This one is trying to befriend my daughter and it’s hurting my child…she looked at me when she received his fiance’s email and was like “I don’t want to be her friend!!”

 

[iluvmybabies]

Um… call the police. Show them all the threatening letters. Have them pull your phone records for the crank calls. Punish the bastard for his treatment of you. If you are not going to get any money out of him anyway, don’t let him threaten and harass you. Get him on a charge of stalking or terrorist threat! Throw his butt in jail… that oughta shut him up for a while. And if he starts it up again after he gets out… he’ll most likely be on parole, and a parole violation will get him thrown back in the clink posthaste. Make his life miserable, so he can’t make yours miserable anymore.

Cake mixes cost around a buck at Walmart, and the frosting is like a buck and a half or two. So you could make a cake for pretty cheap.

We live in different states there is nothing I can do against him…I tried to get the courts involved to help me but they told me he needs to be unemployed for 6 months before they can do anything against him, including take his license away…Very disappointing…I don’t care if he’s not miserable, or not, may GOD bless him, all I care is that he leaves us alone and pays for what he owes that’s all…Yet I can’t even get that?! Just very sad…

 

[iluvmybabies]

I’m sure I am not the only one praying for you. I’m glad your fiance loves the kids, and can afford the birthday cake. A good man!

Praying hard,

Ruthie

Thank you…I am glad too…I feel bad but it’s true…and I am glad I found this man!!

 

[capsaicin]

You can call the police in the state where he lives. Contact the Postal Inspector if the threats were sent by US Mail. This man is committing crimes and you are letting him continue!

 

[iluvmybabies]

You can call the police in the state where he lives. Contact the Postal Inspector if the threats were sent by US Mail. This man is committing crimes and you are letting him continue!

No they are just emailed based…and the threats about taking the children stopped several months ago, but his threats of removing money, and stop working still continue… And now he’s prank calling?! Can you say immature!!!

 

[iluvmybabies]

You can call the police in the state where he lives. Contact the Postal Inspector if the threats were sent by US Mail. This man is committing crimes and you are letting him continue!

I dont even know where he lives he never gave me an address…and the child support agency wont give me that information either?!

 

[capsaicin]

Nice… that’s real helpful.

Thank God for caller-ID right?

If you are using an answering machine, I would suggest switching to voicemail so at least your kids won’t hear ranting messages. You might even be able to block him from leaving messages. As for e-mail, just delete any message from him without even opening it. Send him and his lawyer a certified letter stating that if he needs to communicate with you, he must do it through his lawyer only, never directly. Insulate yourself as much as you can.

And I am really sorry… I don’t understand how some men can treat their kids so badly. My mother royally screwed my father, and the courts helped her do it. But he never missed a support payment and raised us alone after she flaked out, sent us back to him, disappeared for well over a year, and then came back just to throw monkey wrenches into all his efforts. He never took out his anger and bitterness at her on us.

 

[iluvmybabies]

Nice… that’s real helpful. And when I asked them why they haven’t done anything against him for nonpayment of 3 months they told me that he needs to be unemployed for 6 months before they could do anything!! So while he’s enjoying his “unemployment” I am begging for food at charity places to feed our 3 kids!!!

Thank God for caller-ID right?
Yes, but he knows that he can *67 and his number won’t pop up but luckily he forgot about it that morning that he pranked called me and I was able to catch him!!

If you are using an answering machine, I would suggest switching to voicemail so at least your kids won’t hear ranting messages. You might even be able to block him from leaving messages. As for e-mail, just delete any message from him without even opening it. Send him and his lawyer a certified letter stating that if he needs to communicate with you, he must do it through his lawyer only, never directly. Insulate yourself as much as you can.
We didn’t have lawyers, he claimed couldn’t afford one, I couldn’t either…And he won’t leave me a lone!! I left him alone all those 3 months, he didn’t even send a single penny and he was working all that time, until the child support decided to run a background check and then they found out he was working again!! 3 months later!!!

And I am really sorry… I don’t understand how some men can treat their kids so badly. My mother royally screwed my father, and the courts helped her do it. But he never missed a support payment and raised us alone after she flaked out, sent us back to him, disappeared for well over a year, and then came back just to throw monkey wrenches into all his efforts. He never took out his anger and bitterness at her on us.

I don’t either…My dad did abuse my mom a lot but never mistreated us not once…He was, is the best father I have ever known…but my ex he doesn’t even send them a bday card from the darn dollar store, I mean some are even 2 for a dollar? I have told him, man just send them a card with 5 bucks if that’s all, even I can do that, I just don’t eat for a week, but oh well at least I can give my kids that you know?! But he won’t even do that…