Disappointed!

[katy]

Hmmm. While I understand about not second guessing the “coach”, it seems to me there is something else going on here. I dunno. I have been a volunteer and supervised volunteers, and this is definitely not the way I would expect to be dealt with or to deal with others. This is quite odd behavior, IMHO, and I don’t know how I’d respond. Staging a rebellion would not be classy, but just disappearing–maybe.

 

[gh4]

You know, priests get tired too. He’s probably going to be up until at least 1:30 at the church and then maybe he has things to do before he goes to bed, so if he’s got an early AM mass, he’s going to be really tired. We did have a midnight mass last year, and I was at that one and the first mass on Christmas day, and I was VERY VERY tired since I didn’t get to bed until after 2:30 and was up by 6am.

I’d forgive him and allow him to make the decisions that he’s supposed to make. I understand that you are disappointed, but I think boycotting your own parish’s mass would be wrong.

I’d be very thankful that you are having a midnight mass. Our Christmas Eve mass will be at 4pm this year, and I’d love to go to midnight mass even if we didn’t do a whole lot of singing!

 

[WiccanWoman]

. . . He should have said something before now – 6 days before Christmas! **Come ON, and let us reason together. **. . . I have a son who’s grown. I taught him how to COMMUNICATE with people, and to appreciate it when others volunteer their time and talents to serve. I’ve taught him to give proper and constructive feedback soon after they’ve done their part. . .

Yes, I suppose he should have said something before now, had he known something before now. Is it possible he didn’t…?

***“Come ON, and let us reason together” ***-- This is excellent advice. Perhaps you and a few other choirmembers might meet with him, and ask him what’s up? Tell him how you feel, and why, with honesty and respect. Then ask - sincerely **ask **with kindness and curiosity about his decision - and REALLY listen to his feedback, as you have taught your son to do.

(This is my first post to your forums. I am not a Catholic, so I hope I am not overstepping my bounds. May your celebration of this special holyday/holiday be not dimmed by this occurrence. I hope it turns out to be a learning experience for all concerned. Namaste.)

 

[Ohana]

I think that boycotting your parish because you disagree with what the pastor of the parish decided would be an unfortunate choice and example.
You are serving as a choir member. And frankly, you are serving at the pleasure of the pastor who has ultimate responsibility for your parish. Swallow your personal desires and preferences and serve as the leader of the parish has asked you to serve. Your disappointment is understandable, but you have an opportunity now to turn your disappointment into a Christian virtue.

My children play sports and music. It would be unfathomable for me as their mother to encourage them to boycott or quit because they disagree with a decision their band director or coach made.

I agree with this. Well said. Having been a choir member, I can empathize with your disappointment, but not with your planned action. I would say, try to meet with the pastor sometime after the 1st.

Consider also, if there are several Masses and one at midnight, are some of your priests likely to be exhausted? Maybe next year they could move the “midnight” Mass to 10:30 or so as other parishes do and get to bed at a reasonable hour.

Consider too, that although it may be a delight for some to hear your choir, the purpose of your singing is to enhance the liturgy and direct the people toward the greater glory of God, not to showcase the choir. Been there too, as I really love to sing wonderful harmonies, but, just sayin’

 

[Spoken4]

If I were in your choir I’d convince everybody to take it down to the big Christmas tree in town and sing it down there, maybe the night of the 22nd or 23rd. Let people enjoy it the way you rehearsed it. Voices risen in exultation can be very inspiring. You never know who you will reach with your beautiful sounds! You don’t need the organ playing. Just fill in those parts in your heads. Run through it once or twice in rehearsal and then wing it. You’ll find your way. I bet people would LOVE it!

Great idea-- this however is a HUGE city (ninth largest in the nation) and they require all kinds of permits, etc. for things like that. We would have had to have started this process last year. Plus, the work would sound kind of funny acapella. We’ve done that for rehearsal and it really didn’t sound right without the instrumental backup…

This is the entire Missa Brevis in F Major. We were going to sing the Kyrie and the Gloria youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=sThnr95HeJE

Enjoy the pretty music!

HOWEVERRRR… you HAVE given me an idea! We are having our concert on Thursday. The Kyrie/Gloria for the Haydn Mass are very short-- only 7 pages long and less than 3 minutes total for both segments. I wonder if our director would go for it as an “encore” piece? It can’t hurt to run it by her, right?

If we can sing this even as a concert piece, then it won’t feel like we practiced it for naught and maybe we all can more easily ‘suck it up’ on Christmas.

P.S. This is one of the pieces we are singing for the concert this Thursday… careful, it WILL stick in your head!

Donkey Carol– John Rutter youtube.com/watch?v=C-1RpT07Ttc&feature=player_embedded

 

[WiccanWoman]

If I were in your choir I’d convince everybody to take it down to the big Christmas tree in town and sing it down there, maybe the night of the 22nd or 23rd. Let people enjoy it the way you rehearsed it. Voices risen in exultation can be very inspiring. You never know who you will reach with your beautiful sounds! You don’t need the organ playing. Just fill in those parts in your heads. Run through it once or twice in rehearsal and then wing it. You’ll find your way. I bet people would LOVE it!

Indeed. I know the pieces. How lovely they would sound in the clear air of the out-of-doors… perhaps in an open park-like setting (if singing religious songs at a more “public” location is frowned upon)…?

For me and mine, acts of worship celebrated in nature are especially meaningful.

Namaste.

 

[mafh]

My issue is with the fact that he pulled this less than a week beforehand, leaving us no time to really practice any substitutes, other than the usual setting. He also killed our Communion anthem in the same stroke-- the venerable “Alleluia Chorus” by GF Handel. We haven’t even got a backup anthem. I’m sure we’ll come up with something; we’re a great choir. But will Father suddenly decide that our backup anthem is also “not to his liking” after originally agreeing to it?

Christmas is NOT an ordinary day, so why should the setting be ordinary? Midnight is not the “regular” time for Mass, so why should our hymns be “regular”?

It certainly would have been a lot better if he’d given you guys more warning. I wonder if he didn’t realize that practices start many weeks in advance – if you’ve never been in a choir or instrumental group you might not know this.

Since you haven’t been swayed by others’ arguments so far, perhaps it would help for you to think about this situation tactically.

What will happen if the choir boycotts the midnight mass: The congregants will get told (via gossip if not officially) that the choir was missing because they were protesting the fact that the priest asked them to change the music. This will not reflect well on the choir, whether or not the congregation misses the expanded music. People’s ire will be directed towards the choir.

What will happen if the choir swallows its disappointment and participates in the midnight mass: If the congregants miss the expanded music you usually provide, they will eventually find out (via gossip) that it is due to the priest changing it. People’s ire would be directed at the priest, not the choir. On the other hand, if the congregants don’t miss the music, then perhaps the choir misjudged the people’s enthusiasm for the expanded music, and the priest was right in the first place. Either way, this will not reflect badly on the choir, because you just went along with Father’s decision.

So, you see that you are better off particpating and going along with the priest’s decision.

 

[O_Moriah]

Putting the kibosh on a planned piece is very disappointing. If he knew you were doing it and pulled it at the last minute, then yeah, bad pastoral form there. However… did he really know? Are the music director and pastor in communication with each other? Did the pastor get the list of Christmas songs in September or two days ago?

As much as last minute changes are bad form, I do agree with him saying no to those pieces (which should have been done a long time ago). While it’s technically OK for the choir to completely take over the Kyrie and Gloria, it has become customary to regard all congregational responses as, well, congregational. Those pieces don’t allow congregation participation. All they can do is stand and listen (and no, the ritual doesn’t allow sitting down just because something’s long, only those with a real need to sit are given leave to do so). I’m sure it’s beautiful, but it may not be some people’s cup of tea. And furthermore, did people come to Mass for a concert? If a Mass response was performed in a style that you didn’t particularly enjoy (a death metal version of the Alleluia, e.g.,) would you be OK with standing through seven minutes of it?

That all being said, as a compromise, those pieces can be done as a prelude. And a prelude again on the Feasts of Holy Family, Mary Mother of God, and Epiphany. If that’s something that people really like, they’ll start showing up early for it. If you can pack the pews fifteen minutes before Mass because of that music, maybe the pastor will realize the people have spoken and allow it during Mass.

 

[dnar]

I would be attending Mass somewhere else. For sure. Our Lord is present in the Mass no matter what parish you are at, and you can serve him there, which is what I would be doing.

 

[peacoat]

My issue is with the fact that he pulled this less than a week beforehand, leaving us no time to really practice any substitutes, other than the usual setting. He also killed our Communion anthem in the same stroke-- the venerable “Alleluia Chorus” by GF Handel. We haven’t even got a backup anthem. I’m sure we’ll come up with something; we’re a great choir. But will Father suddenly decide that our backup anthem is also “not to his liking” after originally agreeing to it?

Christmas is NOT an ordinary day, so why should the setting be ordinary? Midnight is not the “regular” time for Mass, so why should our hymns be “regular”?

Maybe the priest is feeling tired or ill and wants to cut back in order to make sure HE makes it through Mass.

I think we all forget the high stress of ministry. It is SO much work to be a priest and preside at Mass. Christmas Mass, especially, is filled with devotees and those who only turn up once a year, and sloshed especially at the midnight Mass (unfortunately, that’s one of my cousin’s traditions…urg)

There could be other reasons for the last minute change…an argument that you have no idea about, or perhaps he lost someone important in his life and he can’t bear that song. Point is you don’t know. Running away and basically sticking out your tounge and saying “nanana you changed the rules so I won’t sing” is utterly ridiculous.

Be glad you have a priest at all.

 

[beehumble]

Our pastor came to the Music Director and instructed her to NOT have us sing the Haydn Kyrie and Gloria from his Missa Brevis in F Major at Midnight Mass, as we had rehearsed and planned for months. He also wants to do away with the pre-Mass hymns that have been a tradition for nearly 50 years in our parish.
…
Your thoughts…

~Spoken4

I would just do as my priest asks, and not complain about it at all, and I certainly would not talk like this about him ever let alone strangers on a forum.
We need to support our priests.

God bless you.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I think that boycotting your parish because you disagree with what the pastor of the parish decided would be an unfortunate choice and example.
You are serving as a choir member. And frankly, you are serving at the pleasure of the pastor who has ultimate responsibility for your parish. Swallow your personal desires and preferences and serve as the leader of the parish has asked you to serve. Your disappointment is understandable, but you have an opportunity now to turn your disappointment into a Christian virtue.
My children play sports and music. It would be unfathomable for me as their mother to encourage them to boycott or quit because they disagree with a decision their band director or coach made.

I agree.

My family is very active in music and I know how much work goes into preparing special music. However, the choir is there to serve the Mass and the priest is responsible for the Mass.

It isn’t unreasonable to ask Father to reconsider or perhaps ask to schedule a special concert time bewteen Christmas and Epiphany to share the music you’ve prepared. I would not consider boycotting Mass at my own parish because of this.

 

[Sheadad]

Putting the kibosh on a planned piece is very disappointing. If he knew you were doing it and pulled it at the last minute, then yeah, bad pastoral form there. However… did he really know? Are the music director and pastor in communication with each other? Did the pastor get the list of Christmas songs in September or two days ago?

As much as last minute changes are bad form, I do agree with him saying no to those pieces (which should have been done a long time ago). While it’s technically OK for the choir to completely take over the Kyrie and Gloria, it has become customary to regard all congregational responses as, well, congregational. Those pieces don’t allow congregation participation. All they can do is stand and listen (and no, the ritual doesn’t allow sitting down just because something’s long, only those with a real need to sit are given leave to do so). I’m sure it’s beautiful, but it may not be some people’s cup of tea. And furthermore, did people come to Mass for a concert? If a Mass response was performed in a style that you didn’t particularly enjoy (a death metal version of the Alleluia, e.g.,) would you be OK with standing through seven minutes of it?

That all being said, as a compromise, those pieces can be done as a prelude. And a prelude again on the Feasts of Holy Family, Mary Mother of God, and Epiphany. If that’s something that people really like, they’ll start showing up early for it. If you can pack the pews fifteen minutes before Mass because of that music, maybe the pastor will realize the people have spoken and allow it during Mass.

I’ve been involved in the music ministry at our varying family parishes for a very long time and can tell you that this (above) is very good advice. Please don’t over-analyze this. I have seen people in the Choir get really upset and take these kinds of things very personally. I realize that there is an immense amount of work and time that go into these choral responses, and that’s precisely why people take it personally when something gets changed. It seems that the Music Minister should have a dialogue with the Pastor to come to some kind of a compromise for this year, then make more major changes for next year.

I personally would quitely and quickly change the program to comply with the Pastor’s request or demand. Then I would warn the choir members that speaking out against their Pastor’s decision will bring them serious grief and will find themselves in a very sorry state. They are to put aside their hurt feelings and remember who they are there for, to give honor and glory to that night.

 

[Cat]

My issue is with the fact that he pulled this less than a week beforehand, leaving us no time to really practice any substitutes, other than the usual setting. He also killed our Communion anthem in the same stroke-- the venerable “Alleluia Chorus” by GF Handel. We haven’t even got a backup anthem. I’m sure we’ll come up with something; we’re a great choir. But will Father suddenly decide that our backup anthem is also “not to his liking” after originally agreeing to it?

Christmas is NOT an ordinary day, so why should the setting be ordinary? Midnight is not the “regular” time for Mass, so why should our hymns be “regular”?

Why would you do the Hallelujah Chorus as a Communion anthem? In the U.S., the customary position is to kneel, not stand.

 

[triumphguy]

Mafh, we have a concert this Thursday. There will be our Traditional Choir, plus 3 handbell choirs, 2 grade-school choirs (the “Cherubs” and the “Angels” for grades Pre-K through 2 and 3-5 respectively), a middle-school and a high school choir, the Contemporary Adult Choir, the Cantors’ Schola and the Hispanic Chorus. The Trad Choir’s singing John Rutter’s Donkey Carol and 2 other traditional carols. We do this every year, as well as having the pre-Mass hymns.

Perhaps the choir loft isn’t the place for a protest, but perhaps Father might get the message if Christmas Midnight Mass was truly a “Silent Night”… if you get my drift!

(Hmmm… Father leading the congregation in an acapella version of anything. Not a beautiful image. Trust me, I’ve been to Adoration many times when he’s led the ‘Tantum Ergo’ and the ‘Holy God We Praise Thy Name’ and there’s no telling what key we’ll end in, except that it won’t be the same key we started in. Or tempo! Not to be mean, but holding a tune is NOT one of Father’s many gifts!)

ADDED… the setting that we had chosen is VERY SHORT, even shorter than our “everyday” setting, and Father was made aware of this.

I’m sorry but the more you post, the more correct your pastor’s decision seems to be.

 

[Cat]

I agree with all those who say to obey your priest as you would Jesus Christ. And do it cheerfully and humbly and with as much skill as you possess, because it is an honor to sing for Jesus’ birthday, and He will be much more pleased with your offering of humble and loving hearts than with a beautifully- sung piece of music offered with petulant hearts.

The priest is your FATHER, and we need to obey Father, not undermine him.

I don’t blame the choir for feeling disappointed, but I do blame them for all the grumbling. Remember that in the Old Testament, it was the sin of grumbling that caused the Lord God to forbid them from entering the Promised Land.

Swallow your hurt feelings and your human disappointment. This is not a battle worth even considering, let alone fighting.

As for singing the music that you had practiced, here’s my suggestion. After the Mass, go to someone’s house–depending on how wealthy you all are, it might be a bit of squeeze. But do it anyway, and make sure that there is a piano at the house. Then SING with all your hearts, the music that you were not able to do at the Mass, and offer it with love and gratitude to the Lord Jesus.

Then have a little celebration party with drinks and cookies, and joyful fellowship. Do NOT allow ANYONE to say anything critical about the priest, the parish, or the Mass.

When you all say farewell and Merry Christmas, and you go home in the wee hours of Christmas Morning, you will all have the deep satisfaction of knowing that you have done the right thing by obeying your priest cheerfully, and by glorifying the Lord Jesus with the songs that you worked so hard on.

Godspeed to you.

 

[Sarabande]

Although I completely understand you and the choir being disappointed and upset about the last minute changes, I have to agree with everyone here that having a protest by not showing up at mass is not the right thing to do. I’ve been part of music ministry almost my entire life. I know and understand how much work goes into preparing music, especially the music that was originally planned for the midnight mass… and with a volunteer choir no less. That is very impressive. I also know what it is like working for different pastors. They all have their different opinions and it’s sometimes hard to figure out what will work for them and what won’t. Some pastors love music, other don’t and you have to learn how to navigate the waters.

All that said, the pastor is still the “boss” and what he says goes and like at any job, you just have to bite your lip and go along with the program. I don’t agree with him doing this only a few days before Christmas, but it is what it is, unfortunately. If he truly was aware of the choices long before and didn’t say anything until now, then he dropped the ball and didn’t take into consideration the stress it will induce to prepare something else in so little time. But he could have had many things going on, which caused him to not think about it until now. If he is normally a nice guy, cut him some slack. Just as you all have a lot of stress preparing for Christmas (believe me, I know the stress you are going through. I’ll be working from about 2:00 p.m. till around 2:00 a.m. that day with a boatload of different repertoire I’m still learning.) think about the stress he is going through as well. It’s easy to forget things and to “drop the ball”.

I do think that staging a protest and walking out or not showing up is not really a classy or Christian thing to do, as tempting as it might be. I was part of a choir once that did this to the poor music director. The volunteers didn’t like the idea that she and the pastor brought in paid section leaders and so no one showed up. The choir ended up becoming a quintet for midnight mass. The music was still beautiful (we did a Mozart mass as well, btw, that year), but I felt for this very sweet and nice music director as well as this wonderfully kind pastor of theirs.

I’m wondering if the music director can compromise with the pastor. Maybe even see if you can cut keep the Kyrie, but cut out the Gloria, this year, etc. Or to hold off with the changes until the start of the new year.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

To the OP, your feelings about this situation are totally understandable. If this had happened, I would also be tempted to leave him high and dry, because from your perspective, it certainly feels like he he not being respectful of the choir’s work and of all of the time that you’ve sacrificed. I say “from your perspective” because it does seem as if there might be more to the story. Even so, it is really disappointing, and seemingly unfair to be expected to cast aside all of your work for brand new plans, so close to Christmas. I would not be happy.

That said, he is your pastor, and he does call the shots. I think that the best thing to do is to be obedient to him, and to go ahead and do your best to meet his wishes with the time constraints that you have. Keep in mind, that not only are you obeying your pastor, but you are providing music for all of the people worshiping that night. Even though it is being cut short, your music, along with your obedience will give glory to God at that Mass.

It would seem to be the music director’s role to approach the pastor, perhaps to “finish” the conversation. Did she have the chance to explain to him how difficult it is to change plans this late in the game, or tell Father how disappointed the choir is to have worked so hard on those pieces for nothing? Did she have the chance to ask him if she could come up with a compromise? If it is certain that there is not going to be a change, then I think it would be perfectly appropriate for someone to have a respectful conversation with the pastor, AFTER Christmas, and express the disappointment over the time lost / work wasted / inability to properly prepare. After all, yes, he is your pastor, but he is also in a sense, a manager. And this situation was not managed well. It’s not wrong to give feedback.

If, after that point, you find that you are dissatisfied with the way the pastor treats the choir in general…if this turns out to be a pattern and not one unfortunate event, then it is certainly your prerogative to not sing in the choir. It is good to provide that service to the parish, but as with any other job or volunteer situation, when the boss is unreasonable, sometimes it is better not to work for him. It shouldn’t be done now, though - not right before Christmas. Keep in mind also, that you don’t want to burn your bridges by reacting too impulsively.

 

[bmadamsberry]

While it makes since that you are disappointed, it seems that you don’t understand why you’re singing in the first place. You are at the service of the priest, not your own preferences. The sports analogy is bad, because in a sport you are playing for yourself or your team. Here, you are singing as a service to G-d, at the direction of the priest. Your initial complaining and anger is justified, but its continuation is not. We, and you, may not like what a priest does or chooses for the liturgy, but when we are working in service it is not our decision. To simply not sing would be childish, and put your opinion before the priest’s. It makes you the final authority. Again, we might not like what a priest chooses, but when we are in a position of service (whether it be a singer, a catechist, an RCIA director/teacher, a lector, etc.), we are at the service of the priest.

I say you go and ask the priest personally why he made this decision (politely, mind you). Tell him your sadness at the decision, and how others feel as well.

I say this as a person who was the president of the Catholic Student Association at my college for four years. Whether I agreed with a decision the priest made or not, his word was final. I might voice my disagreement with him, talk with him about it, etc., but I always went along with what he wanted. Had there ever been something with which I just thought was horrible, I would have finished out the year and not run for reelection (this never occurred). So, too, if you’re going to quit, quit permanently, not just for one Mass.

 

[Timothysis]

The “right thing” here seems so very clear-- you DON’T fool with your VOLUNTEER SERVERS and expect them NOT to grouse, or even stop serving at your parish.

So who exactly is in charge here, the pastor of the parish or the volunteer choir?

I agree that the “right thing” here is very clear; do as father asks.