Discerning friendships

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But even wanting your husband to convert so he can share the love of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist is a type of burden/ unrequited wish. Basically, you were lucky. Most Catholics are better off marrying a Catholic. And I’d say most Mormons are better off marrying a Mormon. Most Muslims are better off marrying a Muslim. Just because you can find anecdotal evidence of mixed marriages being successful, does not mean it’s an ideal to strive for.

And if you have kids, it’s harder to pass on an undiluted version of your faith in a mixed marriage.

Finally, people need to be able to be the exception to a rule and still acknowledge the good of that rule. For instance, it’s good to look both ways before crossing a street. No sense in somebody saying, “But my ears are very sensitive; I always hear cars coming without looking.”
 
Ok, what if you simply do not like them or there are aspects of their personality that clash with yours? Where do we draw the line? How is Christian philosophy practically applied to friendships and everyday life? There’s a fine line between being a light for others and being a doormat.
 
Lara said:
But even wanting your husband to convert so he can share the love of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist is a type of burden/ unrequited wish. Basically, you were lucky.
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I was lucky, very lucky, because the Lord sent me a wonderful husband, not lucky that he didn’t give me problems over religion.

As the man recently passed away I hope you will understand that I am not in the mood to discuss this further with you or have any more to say about your post. The original poster made a blanket statement that implied that every Catholic who married a non-Catholic was sorry later on. I was most definitely not sorry. I have also discussed my husband’s religious situation privately with several priests and deacons, two of whom provided Catholic prayer services at his funeral, and they have provided me with a lot of food for thought that is much more edifying than the judgments and generalizations people post on here, as well as more comforting and more charitable. So I would ask you to kindly just butt out with your “exception to the rule” stuff. You don’t know me, you don’t know my husband, you don’t know what goes on in my head, and you can keep your opinions to yourself, thanks.

Marriage is something that is very personal and emotional to people. While my husband was alive I had to read all kinds of uncharitable and just plain wrong posts generalizing about mixed marriages on here and I’m sick right up to my eyeballs of all of them. Sorry you felt a need to add to the pile. Good bye.
 
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I can understand that statistics can be incorrect. But how can they be offensive? They are just numbers.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
Marriage is something that is very personal and emotional to people. While my husband was alive I had to read all kinds of uncharitable and just plain wrong posts generalizing about mixed marriages on here and I’m sick right up to my eyeballs of all of them.
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Amen! I’ve been seeing so much of this lately! I’m sick of it too. I don’t think people realize how highly offensive these blanket statements are. There are so many good Catholics in wonderful mixed marriages. I’m sure there are a few who regret it. But there are also plenty of Catholics married to other Catholics who regret it!

There is a lot to be considered when getting married, and each person is responsible for discerning whether or not someone is the right spouse for them. I think each situation needs to be looked at individually.
 
If you want to try to befriend and date other Catholics, I think that’s great. Try to get involved in your parish.

If you find someone’s friendship draining, you are not required to be friends with them. You are required to be kind, but if you slowly start doing less with this person or stop talking with this person as much, I think that’s fine. Try not to just abruptly end it, unless you feel like it’s necessary. (Like if this person is a bad influence or trying to get you to not live your faith.)

I wouldn’t discount all friendships with non Catholics, it may just be your particular friend that is the problem. But it’s always a great idea to have Catholic friends! A supportive and loving Catholic community is important, so I hope you are able to find that!
 
Non catholic friendships can be an occasion of sin and should be avoided if possible because Catholics could easily be placed in sinful situations and led into rejection of the Faith.

Catholics are better off with fellow Catholics as friends than anyone else
 
It was a probability that enjoys common usage. I’m open to the idea that it might not be true like the idea that you use only 10 percent of your brain at any given time. But, probablities don’t care about people’s feelings.
 
If being friends with someone is going to make you reject the faith, then yes, you should probably isolate yourself.

For the rest of us, it’s fine.
 
redbetta said:
It was a probability that enjoys common usage. I’m open to the idea that it might not be true like the idea that you use only 10 percent of your brain at any given time. But, probablities don’t care about people’s feelings.
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You didn’t even know it was in reference to Baptists. Anyone can toss out numbers, but that doesn’t do any good if you don’t know what they’re referencing.
 
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I mean that the vast majority of people including myself don’t discern our friendships well enough
 
It really depends on what kind of non-Catholic. You’d be much safer being friends with devout orthodox Christians or Orthodox Jews than, say, a Protestant from a mainstream Protestant denomination that has fully embraced mainstream culture.
 
I wasn’t trying to give offensive. I used a statistic used countless times on CAF and only now I’ve seen it refuted.

Also, I’m a lady and I don’t find these things offensive. Men and women are different and, if I read a study that says something like people prefer male bosses, another statistic you see everywhere though some studies say otherwise, I wouldn’t find that offensive.

In short, people choose to take offense. Not my problem: free country.
 
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I replied to her by saying I didn’t mean for my statement to apply to everybody. Plus, my point was not that mothers aren’t important, it just might be a steeper uphill battle for them, which would actually be more admirable of an effort if that’s the case.
 
I hate when people do that. “This offensive thing that I said should actually be taken as a compliment.”
 
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