Discerning the diaconate

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Emtguy89

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Hello all,

I am considering if I have a call to the diaconate. I have been thinking about this for a good while now, and still have possibly years of discernment ahead of me.

However I keep asking myself what would I be able to do as a deacon that I can’t already? Obviously aside from acting as the Church’s witness at marriages, holding funerals, and blessing some things. A deacon proclaims the Gospel where he lives and works, like a missionary to the laypeople in his community. But, anyone can do that, and in fact we should all be doing that!

I know that when the time comes and I talk to a vocation director, I’m going to be asked “why do you want to be a deacon?” Yet most of the things a deacon does are things I should already be doing as a layman. So why become a deacon at all?

Right now I am a cop, recently married, finishing up college, and hopefully moving to a much better department (pay, benefits, opportunity, etc) next year so I want to be able to settle one aspect of my life at a time and have some stability first before I go to a vocation director, but these questions have been nagging at me for awhile.

Any deacons or anyone else out there asked yourself a similar question? How did you resolve it?
 
Before addressing your primary question, you should become a Deacon because you feel called to it. My personal reservations against the permanent diaconate aside, I think it’s wonderful if you want to commit yourself to the Church.
Because that’s what it is: you’ll be the Bishop’s helper in the Diocese wherever you are. You’ll be required to recite the Divine Office/ Liturgy of the Hours. I don’t know if it’s all the Hours like a priest or just some. You’ll most likely have a ministry where you have to be at a specific Church for Mass either every Sunday or every day.
You’ll be “married” to the Church.
Things that a Deacon can do that laypeople can’t:
They can proclaim the Gospel - that is you can read/ sing the Gospel in the setting of the Holy Mass. You can give the homily/ sermon at Mass. You may clean the vessels after distribution/ communion. You may distribute communion as an ORDINARY Minister of Holy Communion.
Good luck, you’re in my prayers.
 
Given that 95% of deacons are married, I’m not sure that the Church teaches or regards deacons as being ”married to the Church.” Such a position would seem to be a disparagement of a deacon’s marital vows. In our area men in formation are told that their priorities are, in this order, marriage/family, job, and Church.
 
Pitcairn17 said:
I’m not sure that the Church teaches or regards deacons as being ”married to the Church.”
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You’re right if course. It was an attempt to point out the unique relation between the Deacon and the Bishop. Did I mention how I have reservations about the permanent diaconate? 😅
I think I better expand on that, so that the deacons who read this don’t think I take their very real sacrifices for granted. I LOVE everyone who’s willing to follow a vocation - also to the permanent diaconate.
My reservations revolve around the concept of permanent deacons and married deacons. Because to me it seems obvious that these deacons are supposed to make up for the fact that there is a great priest shortage in the Catholic Church.
But I believe it’s a bandaid - and a problematic one at that. I think it causes some people who may have a genuine call to ministry or the priesthood to consider “well, if I’m married first I can always be a Deacon.”
So, again I don’t think there’s ANYTHING wrong with following a vocation to be a Deacon, but I am very much afraid it keeps certain people from considering the priesthood.
 
Fair enough. What would you say are the main difference between the permanent diaconate and the transitional diaconate? Using OP’s terms, is there anything a permanent deacon does that a transitional deacon doesn’t?
 
TheMortenBay said:
is there anything a permanent deacon does that a transitional deacon doesn’t?
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Other than possibly going home to his wife at the end of the day I am not aware of anything, but I will defer to actual Deacons on this if I am mistaken.

ETA: And of course @(name removed by moderator) said it much more completely and much better than I could have.
 
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I don’t know why you’d think your very good posts and descriptions of a Deacon’s duties would draw flags. I appreciated your responses.

To the OP… a few other things I can think of…
  1. As I’ve looked into this, a big part of the journey is the ~5 year discernment process. This incudes further education. It is my understanding that some Deacons even earn a Masters degree. Personally, I think this would be very interesting. I tend to like “school”.
  2. It has been very meaningful to have a Deacon bring a parent who is sick or recovering from a surgery communion. Deacons are ordinary ministers of communion. To have been a friend of our family for years, whose house we visited, who we’ve heard give homilies, come and give communion meant a lot. Priest come and go. That is their role. The Deacon has a permanent connection to the community.
  3. Do you want to give homilies?
Good luck with your discernment!
 
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I know you’ve mentioned this; I just find it unfathomable. Thanks for all the very informative posts.
 
Thanks a lot for the responses everyone.

I’m not trying to talk myself out of it, but I want to become a deacon because God wants me to, not because I want to. I want to serve the Church in whatever way God has decided for me. Again, supposing that part of what a deacon does is to visit the sick or people in prison, or giving advice to people from a perspective that (most) priests don’t have (work, life experience, family and marriage issues, etc), and so on, why would I need to be a deacon to do so? I can and should do all of these things and more right now. As someone mentioned, deacons are not “priests-lite” and I know this; and I know this isn’t something I should seek for myself. How would being ordained a deacon make me any more useful to God and the Church, and help me serve the people, than as I am now? Other than taking the Eucharist to someone maybe in a hospital, hospice etc, which I don’t imagine is nearly as common as the rest of a deacon’s work.

@jack63 from what I understand, the formation does result in a master’s degree for deacons who already have a bachelor’s degree, at least in my area (I don’t have a degree yet but I would by then). Of course that doesn’t really matter to me, having another paper to hang on the wall, if I wanted a master’s degree I could go get one that doesn’t require a lifelong commitment afterwards. I like school as long as it’s something that interests me (history, religion, and so on; but sitting in a math class is about close to torture for me). I do pretty well in academic environments though so I’m not too worried about it.
 
Hello my friend. Fellow law enforcement officer here (I’m a fed, not a real cop but I’ve been on enough task forces and many of my friends are real cops so i’m pretty familiar with the ins and outs of local law-enforcement).

I am also starting to become interested in the diaconate. It’s strange, and I’m not sure why because I have never considered serving in this way in the past but I digress…

A few things to consider from the law-enforcement/career side of things:
  1. Be realistic about how much time you will actually have to devote to the church. What happens when you make detective and you’re on call all the time? What happens when you make Sergeant and suddenly you’re on night shift? I’m riding a desk at the moment, but if I ever do go back into the field, I can see how I might have very little time to devote to ministry.
  2. How big is your community? Are you prepared to interact with and possibly enter into a use of force situation with people you know from church? Again, this really wouldn’t be an issue for me but there could be drama in your parish if a parishioner or one of their relatives got in trouble with the law.
I don’t say these things to discourage you. I think it’s fantastic you are considering this calling and I will pray for your discernment and for your continued safety on the job. I’m wondering if this calling might be better suited to men like me and you after we retire.

For any of the deacons on here: would it be frowned upon to enter into the diaconate as an older man as opposed to a younger one?

St. Michael the Archangel Pray for us!
 
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Today’s Gospel is one of my favourites for Discernment and I find its helping me in my own decerment for the priesthood.

Gospel text ( Mt 9,35-10,1.6-8): Jesus went around all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the good news of the Kingdom, and he cured every sickness and disease. When he saw the crowds he was moved with pity, for they were harassed and helpless like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, «The harvest is abundant but the workers are only few. Ask the master of the harvest to send workers to gather his harvest».

Then he called his twelve disciples to him and gave them authority over the unclean spirits to drive them out and to heal every disease and sickness. «Go instead to the lost sheep of the people of Israel. Go and proclaim this message: The kingdom of heaven is near. Heal the sick, bring the dead back to life, cleanse the lepers, and drive out demons. You received this as a gift, so give it as a gift».
 
When I was younger, too young to apply for the diaconate, I was sure when I reached the legal age of 33, ordination would be at 35, I would become a deacon.

I applied for it, but my first interview, the priest who was head of the diaconate for the dioceses, informed my that being my kids were still young, I might think and pray about waiting. So, I did and the time involved with the kids growing up made the decision to wait the right one.

Then, once the kids were grown, my daughter on her own and my son an adult, I applied again.

My wife and myself went through all the interviews and the 12 week training and discernment classes. At the end of 12 weeks, God showed me that it was not His will that I become a Deacon. I chose not to continue into the formal education classes for deacons. It was the right choice,

Going through the process and the classes is a win-win experience !

The bottom line is, keep the idea in your sights, but be open to God in that He may want you to go in a different direction.

Discerning God’s will is a difficult task for anyone, but the one thing you’ll be aware of, is the peace you receive in making a decision which coincides with the will of God.

God Bless
 
JimR-OCDS said:
My wife and myself went through all the interviews and the 12 week training and discernment classes. At the end of 12 weeks, God showed me that it was not His will that I become a Deacon. I chose not to continue into the formal education classes for deacons. It was the right choice
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I know this could potentially be a very personal decision, but if at all possible I like to know more about how God showed you that being a Deacon wasn’t right for you.
 
Thank you for the information. I’ve got about a ten to fifteen year window after I retire before I turn 65. I figure that period in my life will be the time to discern.
 
TheMortenBay said:
Before addressing your primary question, you should become a Deacon because you feel called to it. My personal reservations against the permanent diaconate aside, I think it’s wonderful if you want to commit yourself to the Church.
Because that’s what it is: you’ll be the Bishop’s helper in the Diocese wherever you are. You’ll be required to recite the Divine Office/ Liturgy of the Hours. I don’t know if it’s all the Hours like a priest or just some. You’ll most likely have a ministry where you have to be at a specific Church for Mass either every Sunday or every day.
You’ll be “married” to the Church.
Things that a Deacon can do that laypeople can’t:
They can proclaim the Gospel - that is you can read/ sing the Gospel in the setting of the Holy Mass. You can give the homily/ sermon at Mass. You may clean the vessels after distribution/ communion. You may distribute communion as an ORDINARY Minister of Holy Communion.
Good luck, you’re in my prayers.
Click to expand...
This is so important…thanks for wording it at such…
 
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Number one, the schedule for the diaconate training and my work and family schedules were overwhelming.

There were 25 men who entered discernment, I was one of them.

12 weeks later, only 5 remained and went into the program for the next five years.

One, two weeks before ordination, decided not to become a Deacon. He was a Jewish convert to Catholicism. I don’t know the reason why he quit just two weeks from ordination.

Four of the five men were retired and one was a school teacher who taught in the school that was used for Diaconate Training. So unlike myself who had to travel to work and at the end of the day and then go directly to the Diaconate classes, they were at their homes and had supper before leaving for classes. In other words, they had more free time that myself.

Anyway, after prayer and help in discernment from the priest who ran the discernment part of the program, history of the diaconate was another class taught by a different priest, I was seeing God wanted me elsewhere. When I decided to not to enter into the program, I felt a peace and assurance that I was making the right decision.

As an aside, my wife and myself continued with our Discalced Carmelite Secular, OCDS, formation and eventually made definitive promises and then vows. This is where God wanted us at the time. We’re still OCDS members, but our group disbanded as the members aged out or died.
 
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Feds are real cops nowadays, since I don’t think some guy with the mindset of shooting one of us much cares where we get our checks from. I’m curious which alphabet soup you work for if you don’t mind saying?

I’m working a strict 42-hour patrol schedule right now, our agency has no investigative staff (college police) so I do all the follow-up work on my own cases and everything, but we are strict on overtime, it’s almost forbidden like a private sector job. On my days off during school I’m working as SRO for the elementary school. But my hope is that next year I’ll be moving from here (10,000 residents; five agencies varying in size from 5 to 50 employees) to another city and agency (one million, and 2000+ officers). Fixed shifts, six a day with overlapping times, no calls during the last hour of your tour, and union with enough step raises that getting promoted almost seems like punishment.

The potential to arrest or have a use of force incident with a parishioner does concern me a bit, but I have always policed in small towns where it’s not unusual to run into the same people outside of work. I used to actually live inside the police station which is inside a college dorm, PD was technically on the first floor and I lived on the second, right next door to students, we shared a kitchen and common area with cable TV. I’ve had residence life called on me before thinking I was some guy sneaking into the dorms. So I’m pretty used to dealing with those situations, I’m more concerned about how the Church will feel about the “risk”.

A good point was made about kids; I’m married but don’t have any kids yet, definitely something to think about.
 
Nicely put Deacon Jeff. I’m in my final year of formation, and when I get people who ask me the question of “what will you be able to DO?” I always answer them “not much” and then I explain what you just said. Deacons are Christ the servant, so you need to be ready to accept that and all that it entails.
 
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