I would suggest that you know and understand the skill set and aptitude that God gave you, when He created you. Based upon those skills set and aptitude, spend time as you are able to in prayer, fasting, the sacraments as you can and need, attend mass at least on Sundays and then simply ask God to lead and guide you, ask Him daily, hourly weekly, “Father what do you ask of me?”
While it almost next to impossible to find a good spiritual director, ask your local parish priest if He is such, and if not if he can help you find one. A spiritual director can help you understand how God leads and works with you, so you know when, how and what God is doing and showing you as His will for you. With increased prayer, fasting, sacraments and mass you may find a depth of peace that you have not experienced in your life prior. I am not referring to peace as if spending a day at a spa, or relaxing around your home in quiet solitude. I am referring to a peace that you feel, taste and sense that reaches beyond your being.
In addition, It is not in your time or or will but in God’s. Do not expect an instant answer or a quick response. Simply continue to pursue or walk the path that you are on and follow accordingly, while you continue to pray, receive the sacraments, and attend Mass. You may experience a sense of peace and that peace may deepen as you finish your degree, or take that new job or meet that special person. Catherine of Siena the Third Order Dominican, once ask Jesus during His last appearance to her, how do I know if it is you or Satan when I am told or given something? He told her, that if it is me you will initially have anxiety, but in time that anxiety will become less and you will have peace. If it is from the evil one, you will have anxiety and it will become more intense and make you more anxious, in time.
I have spent the last eight going on nine years discerning my vocation, from Franciscan Orders to marriage and now I am finishing up my application to Seminary for a Diocese in Ohio, for the priesthood. Initially, the idea of the Diocesan priesthood made me ill. Two years later, I have great peace and cannot see myself anywhere, doing anything else, even though, I was once married, now divorced and annulled, I love marriage and all that goes with marriage.
There is no time frame, time limit in understanding one’s vocation as God is a complete mystery and we discern one step at a time. As my spiritual director would tell me, “The Israelite’s spent 40 years in the desert, what is a few months, weeks or years?”
I will pray for you and that you find the peace and the strength to seek God’s will, regardless of how long and how hard it may become.
Your brother,
