Hi all!
Ever since I could remember I always considered a vocation to the priesthood. In fact, many in my family always said I would be a priest (as well as a couple priests and sisters). I go through phases of preferring the priesthood and married life. I want to start really discerning my call. The one problem is that I have had a pornography and masturbation addiction since the 7th grade and I am now a freshman in college. Honestly, I want to stop, but it is difficult. The most I could go without masturbating is a week it seems like. My body caves in. I feel like St. Paul,“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.”
I am hoping to work within my next few years of college to kick the habit however, I want to do it now. I want to be rid of it as soon as possible.
Will this effect my chances of joining the priesthood? I want to stop so that I can fully and better discern my vocation.
God bless you all.
Sorry it took so long to get back to you.
The way that I finally stopped was getting serious about prayer and the Sacraments, as well as watching what I was doing. Make sure that you pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and one Glory Be every morning when you wake up. Then, if you have the time but if you don’t it’s fine, do the same as a “mid-day prayer”, and if you like you can do what I do and add a few other prayers that you like to that. If you have the time, do the Chaplet of Divine Mercy everyday at three o’clock, preferably. Then, one of the non-negotiable’s is to pray the Rosary everyday when you have the time. And finally, right before you go to bed, do the same that I mentioned when you wake up, and then say the Act of Contrition, as well as the prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel. With all of these prayers, ask God for help with your schooling, as well as for the strength to stop these addictions. If you like, I would also recommend doing Novenas to some favorite Saints of yours. The best Saint in my opinion to pray for in this situation is Saint Augustine, who knew first-hand just how terribly difficult lust is to stop.
Then, if you do these things, frequent the Sacrament of Confession. Go to Confession every week, or whenever necessary (Which, when you first try to stop, can sometimes be everyday). Find a confessor that you really like and stick with him. The more he knows about you and your sins, the better. It is then that he can view your patterns, see what you’re struggling with, and give you great advice. Sometimes you have to ask for advice, but trust me when I say that asking for advice is almost always a great idea.
Once you do this, go to receive the Eucharist as much as possible. There is enough graces and power in one Host to make each and every one of us a Saint. Don’t be afraid to use such a blessing!
Also, watch what you do. Figure out where you are most likely to be tempted to sin, and avoid it as much as possible. Remember that a part of the Act of Contrition is “to avoid the near occasion of sin”. People always complain that it’s difficult to stop sinning, and yet they always walk straight into the scene of the crime. For some, the shower is where you will find most temptation. This is where I think one of Saint Francis’ three ways to stop lust comes in handy. The three are running, discipline, and cold streams of water. Since I didn’t have access to a nice cold stream of water, I used the shower instead, which worked out to my benefit. I had a lot of problems with the shower, so I would always cut the time that I spent in there, and, when I was tempted, I would turn the cold water on. Trust me when I say that nothing douses the flames of lust like cold water!
I would also recommend looking at the music you listen to. I always complained how difficult it was to stop lusting, and yet I was listening to AC/DC, Guns N’ Roses, Aerosmith, Motley Crue, and all the like. Remember that you are what you listen to, read, and watch. If you watch inappropriate shows with crude humor, stop immediately! If you read books that tempt you, throw them away. I know that it’s not easy to throw away your favorite shows and CD’s, since I aspired to be a Rock Star and the last thing I wanted was to throw away my beloved music. However, after I got rid of it, I never looked back. Even though I loved those songs, I recognized that they lasted minutes, while hellfire lasted an eternity.
And finally, I would say perseverance is most important. Never lose hope, and never give up. It ultimately takes patience to break this. It won’t happen overnight, and don’t act like it will. Chastity speaker Jason Evert and the new Catholic Answers Apologist Matthew Fradd have some great information and advice on perseverance, and great information on how to stop completely like I finally did, so I would recommend looking into them.
You’ll be in my prayers.
Dominus Vobiscum.
