Discernment Disaster?

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robert02

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Hello everyone!

Today my girlfriend broke up with me because she said she felt in her heart that it was no longer God’s will for her to be with me. This only came to her this past Monday afternoon. She had no reason for me other than that. She still loves me, and I love her with all my heart and do whatever it takes to get her back. But I don’t know what to do. She is convinced this is what God wants. I just can’t see how God would want something that not only hurts but has thrown me into turmoil and sadness. I have no personal peace. I want her to be happy, I really do. She’s the most amazing girl ever. And I’m crying while I’m writing this. I just need some prayers big time, especially from Our Lady. Please ask for her intercession. And if there is any advice anyone has that could help, please share it with me. Thank you and God bless!
 
Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus.
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus,
nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and in the hour of our death. Amen.

Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus,
et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus.
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei,
ora pro nobis peccatoribus,
nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.
 
I feel just awful for saying this, but I have a feeling the girl was lying to you because she did not want a confrontation. Here’s a prayer for you:

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.
 
I am very sorry for what you and your girlfriend are going through. It is very hard to know what God specifically wants for each of us, and private revelations are rare and usually of a great significance. Our reason, conscience and the wisdom we have learned from God through His Church are the primary tools God has given us to discern His will for our lives. And, with romantic relationships, it is also paramount to discuss it with one another, to understand the deeper issues at work, and to also consult with a priest. I would recommend all of these, especially the latter. Talk to a priest, particularly your parish priest or one you know well, and discuss this problem with him. It would be even better if both of you could talk to him together about it. To me, it seems as though your girlfriend could be experiencing some deep insecurities or doubts and is interpreting them as God’s specific calling. I cannot say definitively, but this is my view on the matter. Again, try to talk to a priest and with one another in the way I have described.

I truly hope this can help both of you and that you may continue to live in the love you feel for one another, which can eventually develop into a true and lifelong matrimonial love. I also pray that both of you may be forgiven your sins, strengthened by the love of Christ for His Bride, the Church, and protected from all mental, physical and social problems. I extend these prayers to all those in the world dealing with romantic issues, and I ask for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, both of your guardian angels, and St. Dwynwen, patron saint of lovers. God bless. 🙂

Hail Holy Queen
Mother of Mercy, Our Life, Our Sweetness and Our Hope
To Thee Do We Cry, Poor Banished Children of Eve
To Thee Do We Send Up Our Sighs
Mourning and Weeping in this Valley of Tears.
Turn, then, Most Gracious Advocate
Thine Eyes of Mercy Towards Us
And After This, Our Exile, Show Unto Us
The Blessed Fruit of Thy Womb,
Jesus.
O Clement, O Loving, O Sweet
Virgin Mary.
Amen.
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I would be completely handing over all of your Crosses to Jesus and Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus through The Holy Rosary twice a day asking for ‘the right Wife/Partner to come your way as quickly as possible’. If this is your girlfriend you will be re-united!

Please Dear God our Heavenly Father and Dear Our Lady Mary Mother of Jesus could You please bathe Roberto in Thy Divine Love and Healing, sending along his future Wife/Partner through Thy Divine Love and Mercy Amen.

Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from all evil Amen.
 
robert02 said:
Hello everyone!

Today my girlfriend broke up with me because she said she felt in her heart that it was no longer God’s will for her to be with me. This only came to her this past Monday afternoon. She had no reason for me other than that. She still loves me, and I love her with all my heart and do whatever it takes to get her back. But I don’t know what to do. She is convinced this is what God wants. I just can’t see how God would want something that not only hurts but has thrown me into turmoil and sadness. I have no personal peace. I want her to be happy, I really do. She’s the most amazing girl ever. And I’m crying while I’m writing this. I just need some prayers big time, especially from Our Lady. Please ask for her intercession. And if there is any advice anyone has that could help, please share it with me. Thank you and God bless!
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As NeedsMercy said, it is possible it is her way of extracting herself from the relationship while placing the cause ‘elsewhere’.

I empathise with your pain in a very real way since athough different in its detail I too have had and still have a ‘similar’ experience to the one in your OP.

The next thing that springs to mind are the words of Jesus in Gethsemane that ended, ’ … but yet not my will, but thine be done’.

It could well be that God in His wisdom has plans for yourself as well as this young lady, that does not include you both in a romantic togetherness.

To make the best steel it first needs to be tempered/proved by fire.

Ignatian discernment holds that our Christian choices are often beyond the merely rational or reasonable. “The heart has its reasons of which the mind knows nothing,” Pascal said. This is fine—as long as the heart has been schooled by Christ.

A Prayer for Discernment

I do not know what to ask you.
You alone know my real needs,
and you love me more
than I even know how to love.
Enable me to discern my true needs
which are hidden from me.
I ask for neither cross nor consolation;
I wait in patience for you.
My heart is open to you.
For your great mercy’s sake,
come to me and help me.
Put your mark on me and heal me,
cast me down and raise me up.
Silently I adore your holy will
and your inscrutable ways.
I offer myself in sacrifice to you
and put all my trust in you.
I desire only to do your will.
Teach me how to pray
and pray in me, yourself.

–Vasily Drosdov Philaret, c. 1780 - 1867

It may even be that God is beginning His call to one or both of you for some special ministry - whatever the case ask for his strength and guidance - it will come.

Via con Dios.
 
Sorry for your pain. As has been referred to, I think she just wanted to end the relationship and used the excuse she gave as a reason. I have prayed for you and your heart.
 
Thank you all so much for all the prayers! I really do appreciate it. A couple days ago I even received a text from her saying that she does not think it was a good idea that we broke up. But now I’m confused as to what to do. I love her so much. However, I spoke with a priest about it and he said that since I’m 22 and she’s 19, I should probably wait for about 9 months until I even begin to talk to her again. I personally really don’t like that idea. His reason was that we both need to mature if we want to have a serious and mature relationship that will last. That is what I want. I want to marry this girl. But I hate the idea of being away from her so long. What do you guys think? Maybe I should wait like a month before we start talking again. And then, we can just take it slow. Just to be able too be in her presence and to see her face would be the greatest blessing ever. Please continue to pray. Thank you all and God bless!
 
Praying for you. I was in a similar situation in my youth and I let her go. It was the best thing I ever did. I later met the woman who was to be my wife, we’ve been married 52 years are very happy together.
 
Hey, thank you all for your prayers, advice, and support. We are now back together after only a week of being broken up. It is tough though because only two days after she broke up with me in the name of God she got physically sexual with some guy she liked a year ago. She is very remorseful about it, but it hurts my heart like crazy. I still love her so much and took her back anyways. Does anyone have anything they would like to share with me on that? What can I do to get the pain to go away? And how do I trust her when she says she loves me or wants to do “God’s will?”
 
robert02 said:
Hey, thank you all for your prayers, advice, and support. We are now back together after only a week of being broken up. It is tough though because only two days after she broke up with me in the name of God she got physically sexual with some guy she liked a year ago. She is very remorseful about it, but it hurts my heart like crazy. I still love her so much and took her back anyways. Does anyone have anything they would like to share with me on that? What can I do to get the pain to go away? And how do I trust her when she says she loves me or wants to do “God’s will?”
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Geez, Robert, even before I read your post, I surmised there was another guy. That she probably went back to him for sex–ugh! Ideally, you should kick her to the curb; but, if you are truly in love with this woman, put it on hold–if she really loves you, she’ll wait in every way that matters, including sexually. Please pray to the Angel Raphael for help:

O Raphael, lead us towards those we are waiting for, those who are waiting for us! Raphael, Angel of happy meetings and Catholic singles, lead us by the hand towards those we are looking for! May all our movements, all their movements, be guided by your Light and transfigured by your Joy. Angel Guide of Tobias, lay the request we now address to you at the feet of Him on Whose unveiled Face you are privileged to gaze. Lonely and tired, crushed by the separations and sorrows of earth, we feel the need of calling to you and of pleading for the protection of your wings, so that we may not be as strangers in the Province of Joy, all ignorant of the concerns of our country. Remember the weak, you who are strong–you whose home lies beyond the region of thunder, in a land that is always peaceful, always serene, and bright with the resplendent glory of God. Amen.

(Check out the story of Tobias, Sarah and the Angel Raphael in the OT’s Book of Tobit. 🙂 )
 
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