Discernment Thoughts

  • Thread starter Thread starter Anlar
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Anlar

Guest
Discerning ones vocation is very difficult and confusing. It’s indeed like a roller coaster.I have done things I don’t want to do but the ones I think I want to do are the one I am so afraid of. If I have inflicted myself with a vocation thought for many years why not give justice to myself and consider it. There are only three kinds of life single blessedness, married life and religious life. Practically, if I’m thinking of religious life although not 100% sure, I must consider it first before married life or single blessedness. I will NEED to answer the first question, if I am called to religious life. Once I am done inquiring or knowing their life by living it, I will then find the answer. If I find the answer to the first question, and if it is a No, then next is married life or single blessedness. It is as they say a life long process and on the way I will find answers. In order to find answers if I am called to religious life, I’ll have to face it. But as I think of religious life it should come from a good reason (holiness) and not just trying to escape something but to look at the many graces in life that God has given, and as life goes on I will uncover His will.

Are these thoughts justifiable? What do you think?
 
Anlar said:
Discerning ones vocation is very difficult and confusing. It’s indeed like a roller coaster.I have done things I don’t want to do but the ones I think I want to do are the one I am so afraid of. If I have inflicted myself with a vocation thought for many years why not give justice to myself and consider it. There are only three kinds of life single blessedness, married life and religious life. Practically, if I’m thinking of religious life although not 100% sure, I must consider it first before married life or single blessedness. I will NEED to answer the first question, if I am called to religious life. Once I am done inquiring or knowing their life by living it, I will then find the answer. If I find the answer to the first question, and if it is a No, then next is married life or single blessedness. It is as they say a life long process and on the way I will find answers. In order to find answers if I am called to religious life, I’ll have to face it. But as I think of religious life it should come from a good reason (holiness) and not just trying to escape something but to look at the many graces in life that God has given, and as life goes on I will uncover His will.

Are these thoughts justifiable? What do you think?
Click to expand...
I have thought about religious vocation for many years and am far from holy, feel ill equipped, etc. After my most recent visit with an Order, I worried that my personality was too big for community life, that I had too much baggage, that I was too old, that I’m just plain crazy for considering this. But if it’s truly from God, then who am I to argue with him (which I do all the time). Yep, can’t try on marriage but you can live religious formation to better discern. So why not? My prayer is to finally have peace of mind knowing I followed where I thought God was leading. If my motives are not from God, it will be revealed.

Peace in your journey,
Teri
 
Get a spiritual director and talk about this with them.
 
Hey Anlar,

How wonderful to hear your openness to God’s will! Discernment certainly is a beautiful process, though I’m not so sure it’s life-long when it comes to considering our vocation to either marriage or consecration. Ah yes, marriage or consecration, because in the end there really is no “3rd way.” At least not in Christian teaching from the NT to the modern catechism. Not in any practical way. So if you want, the real question could simply be: What am I going to do with my body? Isn’t that an interesting “spirituality of the body”?

To answer your first question, you’ll have to clarify your values, and perhaps “purify” them… To do that you may want to make a list and try to put it in some sort of order. Also, history shows that it’s very helpful to have certain experiences like daily prayer with God’s Word, volunteering, and visiting communities.

A good principle is ready, fire, aim. That is, gather some essential information and come up with a first intuition. Act on that intuition and check how you feel (for instance trying out a community that appeals to you). Correct your aim if something is missing (try another community or consider another state in life).

PS. A spiritual director cannot make the journey for you, and an incompetent one can complicate things… Go with your (spiritual) instincts…
 
skallal said:
Hey Anlar,

How wonderful to hear your openness to God’s will! Discernment certainly is a beautiful process, though I’m not so sure it’s life-long when it comes to considering our vocation to either marriage or consecration. Ah yes, marriage or consecration, because in the end there really is no “3rd way.” At least not in Christian teaching from the NT to the modern catechism. Not in any practical way. So if you want, the real question could simply be: What am I going to do with my body? Isn’t that an interesting “spirituality of the body”?

To answer your first question, you’ll have to clarify your values, and perhaps “purify” them… To do that you may want to make a list and try to put it in some sort of order. Also, history shows that it’s very helpful to have certain experiences like daily prayer with God’s Word, volunteering, and visiting communities.

A good principle is ready, fire, aim. That is, gather some essential information and come up with a first intuition. Act on that intuition and check how you feel (for instance trying out a community that appeals to you). Correct your aim if something is missing (try another community or consider another state in life).

PS. A spiritual director cannot make the journey for you, and an incompetent one can complicate things… Go with your (spiritual) instincts…
Click to expand...
I would caution against trusting your “spiritual instincts” fully without the aid of a good spiritual director and vocations director.

They can be very misleading at times.

I would also caution you greatly about seeking and taking advice from the internet. This forum is anonymous, you have no way of knowing who is giving advice.

Please read this thread.

Helping someone discern a vocation

It has some good guidelines that someone who is discerning should follow.
 
I agree that a spiritual director is a great idea. I also think that researching and finding out about other people’s discernment journies would help you out a lot. I have found that with my journey (and I can’t talk much cuz I’m just a few years into it) I took a different approach.

I didn’t rule out one vocation and move to the next, but instead prayed about all of them to God. I made lists of pros and cons of each. I met with people I trusted who succeeded at each of these vocations. But most importantly I got to know myself. I found that the answer lies in me. God made me for a certain purpose and I can look inside myself at the talents, faults, fears, and hopes I have to find out what He has in store for me. My passions and desires lead me to consider a vocation to the sisterhood. I do not rule out being a missionary, being single, or being married. I’m just traveling the journey.

The journey is where you find your answers. God isn’t going to yell down at you, “Hey you’re suppose to be a happily married person!” or, “Hey, you’re suppose to be a religious!” (if He does, you’re extremely lucky) No, God whispers through our experiences, our hearts, our thoughts, our friends. Trust in the journey and don’t rule anything out quite yet!

Some questions that might help:
  1. What makes you smile? What makes you peaceful?
  2. What gives your life joy?
  3. What impassions you?
  4. When do you feel most comfortable?
  5. What moves you to action?
  6. What attracts you?
  7. What kind of life do you want to lead?
  8. What is your mission in life?
  9. What is God calling you to do with your talents?
  10. What are your strengths and weaknesses? How can God use this?
  11. Describe the person you want to become.
  12. Why do you desire to be a _____________? (priest, sister, mother, father, single person, missionary, monk, nun, etc)
 
Hello everyone, thanks for all the replies. I favor more the vocation of religious life than any other based on my post perhaps because I deeply felt and think that when I’ve drown myself over the religious life just for a year or two (as I’m still young ) I would find peace and satisfaction (whatever the results) and perhaps after that I would then know and be happy with my life, whether it be religious, married or single. There remains in my heart a question and if this remained unanswered I would not find my direction. If I’ll know He’s calling me to be religious, He will teach me to learn things. Speaking of talents, honestly, I can’t think of any. But I can learn (just being positive). I have great fear for religious life, but the thought about religious life never go away. So, I guess I’m forcing myself to know that path. If he is calling me, I beg of Him to help me and I trust He will. I guess, to KNOW, is my idea of satisfaction and peace. I’m trying to understand myself as I question life and so far this is what it tells me. I’m open to every advice because it helps me to think and evaluate things.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top