Discernment - veiling

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Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

It has been on my heart for a number of months to veil at Mass and Exposition. There are times in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament that I cover my head with my hands because of the holiness of the Divine Presence.

Here is my dilemma. 1. I cantor almost every Sunday at Mass. I have a small chapel cap that was my mother’s but I am concerned that it could cause problems being up front and veiled. I will be speaking to my pastor about it when I return from a brief vacation.
2. I work for the diocese in the Office of Worship. I am concerned about the possible static I could receive from my co-worker. She is a good lady but views anything that veers from the norm “whack-a-doodle.”

I don’t want my veiling to be a cause for division in my department and confusion among the lay faithful in the “norm.” My pastor is also the vicar general of the diocese so I am hoping he can give me guidance on that front.

I am going to veil for Mass this Sunday while I am on vacation. Yes, I guess I am a chicken.

I am on a spiritual journey that has lead me to deeper prayer, more frequent confession (once a month), more frequent abstaining from meat and a deeper love for the Blessed Sacrament. I know that I am weird but perhaps I am a whack-a-doodle too.

Please pray for me as I continue to discern God’s will on the veiling issue. God bless all of you, your prayers have availed much good in my life. Thank you!!!

:gopray:
 
I remember when I was a young girl that women would even use a kleenex on their head if they didn’t have some type of cloth they could use to cover their head and were going into a church … outside of a bride or the nuns, I haven’t seen anyone use a veil in at least 30 years.
 
Do whatever you feel called to do.

I personally don’t wear a veil, but I see a few women wearing them, and I have no ill thoughts about it. It’s their own personal choice.
 
It’s sort of become the lingo online, but it might be helpful to call it covering your head/hair rather than veiling. When this was customary, it was very normal to wear hats, too.

I haven’t covered my head for some time though I did for a while. I wore a chapel veil, hat, or even a wide headband sometimes. Really, I would not freak out about it. You’re doing it as a private devotion, that doesn’t mean you have to pick something strange looking. If you’re worried about distraction then wear something nobody’s going to even notice. Or skip it when you serve in that way, at least for a while.

I don’t want to speak for you, but when I suffered from similar thoughts I concluded they were about my pride. Why should a private devotion send me into such a tizzy about what others will think of me, especially since it doesn’t have to be practiced in an obvious way? Maybe that will be helpful for you to think about, too.
 
I don’t cover my head any more, but there are a couple of women in my parish who do, and I doubt anyone is thinking anything negative about it. I know I don’t. Some ladies wear hats or tams, which is less conspicuous than a chapel veil, if that is what you are worried about. Do what you feel is best for you.
 
I am one of a very few women who veils in my parish, and when I attend Mass at another parish, I’m often the ONLY one veiling.

I struggled with similar thoughts to those you are having when I felt drawn to veiling (or if you prefer, covering my head). It can be difficult to balance that calling* with not wanting to draw attention to yourself, worrying whether other people will be distracted, and whether it will come across as some sort of “statement” that you’re not trying to make.

So, if you do decide to cover your head, perhaps my experiences might be helpful to you. 🙂

It helped me to start with a color that was similar to my own hair color (in my case, medium brown). It doesn’t have to be “invisible,” of course, but the “monotone” approach helped to make it less obvious and easier to forget about.

If it’s a lightweight material, and especially if you have straight, fine hair like I do, make sure to secure it with bobby pins or barrettes or something. I found it’s much less distracting when it’s just sitting there doing nothing like it’s supposed to, rather than constantly needing adjustments because it slips. 😉

Honestly, though, I have found that I was a lot more distracted by my veil until I got used to it than anyone else around me has been. Once I was comfortable with it and didn’t have to mess with it, hardly anyone else seemed to take notice of it–and even when they do, it’s pretty quickly forgotten and not a distraction for very long. It’s just a part of my outfit. 🤷

These days, the women with turquoise hair get a lot more notice than even my brightest pink veil does! :cool: 😃

Will say a prayer for your discernment. :gopray2:

*Just to clarify, here I mean a “calling” in your heart to a particular devotion, not as in a calling to a vocation or a mission.
 
I like turquoise hair because I like anything turquoise…

I still have my old chapel cap from when I was in high school as a souvenir; It is in it’s original turquoise purse.

Also, in that vein, I remember having a wide-brimmed hat with no covering over the main part of the head. It was pretty, but a nun scolded me and made me stuff a handkerchief in the hole. Apparently she was very old-school.

I haven’t worn a hat since, except to keep my ears warm when it gets cold enough.
 
Arizona_Fat_Gir said:
I like turquoise hair because I like anything turquoise…
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Oh, I LOVE turquoise hair and think it looks great on these women. I didn’t mean to imply that colored hair was a bad thing. I’m just saying it gets more notice than most head-coverings do.
 
Katherine438 said:
I remember when I was a young girl that women would even use a kleenex on their head if they didn’t have some type of cloth they could use to cover their head and were going into a church … outside of a bride or the nuns, I haven’t seen anyone use a veil in at least 30 years.
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I wear a veil for mass and also for the Blessed Sacrament, and I know I’m in the minority. There are generally a few other women here in Mexico who veil, so I am not alone, there. I also began veiling in the US where it was rarer still.

At Latin masses, I think more women wear veils than in the ordinary form of the mass.

If you are already trying to cover your head with your hands anyway, then I think a veil would be more practical. It will take a lot of courage, since you will be going against the norm, though.

No, you are not a wack-a-do for wanting to veil.
 
Prayer for the Help of the Holy Spirit

O God, send forth your Holy Spirit into our hearts
that we may perceive, into our minds, that we may
remember, and into our souls that we may meditate.
Inspire us to speak with piety, holiness, tenderness,
and mercy. Teach, guide and direct our thoughts and
senses from beginning to end. May your grace
ever help and correct us, and may we be strengthened
now with wisdom from on high, for the sake
of your infinite mercy. Through Christ Our Lord, amen.

:signofcross:

​
 
I am one of only three women who veil in a large parish. Once, a woman told her daughter not to shake my hand at the sign of Peace, and called me a b**** on the way out of Mass. Even said I “was what was wrong with the Church.” Sigh. I prayed for her and her daughter.

I veil because St Paul told women to do so. I don’t say it is a personal choice, though I condemn no one for not doing so. It is, as the title implies, a *discernment. *

Our Legion of Mary praesidium makes veils and passes them out free to anyone who asks. We give away about ten a month. Surprisingly, the older women take them but don’t wear them. The younger women (<30) take them and wear them with some frequency.

I think it is very sad to hear priests condemn the practice of wearing veils, communion on the tongue, modest clothing… Though certainly, it is their *choice. *
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Dear CAF community: I pray that all of us remember that we should pray on this board, not advise. Liturgy Geek says, and I quote: “Please pray for me as I continue to discern God’s will on the veiling issue. God bless all of you, your prayers have availed much good in my life. Thank you!!!”

​
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†
 
Liturgy_Geek said:
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

It has been on my heart for a number of months to veil at Mass and Exposition. There are times in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament that I cover my head with my hands because of the holiness of the Divine Presence.

Here is my dilemma. 1. I cantor almost every Sunday at Mass. I have a small chapel cap that was my mother’s but I am concerned that it could cause problems being up front and veiled. I will be speaking to my pastor about it when I return from a brief vacation.
2. I work for the diocese in the Office of Worship. I am concerned about the possible static I could receive from my co-worker. She is a good lady but views anything that veers from the norm “whack-a-doodle.”

I don’t want my veiling to be a cause for division in my department and confusion among the lay faithful in the “norm.” My pastor is also the vicar general of the diocese so I am hoping he can give me guidance on that front.

I am going to veil for Mass this Sunday while I am on vacation. Yes, I guess I am a chicken.

I am on a spiritual journey that has lead me to deeper prayer, more frequent confession (once a month), more frequent abstaining from meat and a deeper love for the Blessed Sacrament. I know that I am weird but perhaps I am a whack-a-doodle too.

Please pray for me as I continue to discern God’s will on the veiling issue. God bless all of you, your prayers have availed much good in my life. Thank you!!!

:gopray:
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You are overthinking it. 🙂 If you want to wear a headcovering of some kind to Mass, just go for it and don’t worry about what people think. It is a beautiful custom and part of our heritage; I would love to see more women doing it. If you (understandably) are shy about wearing a chapel veil while cantoring, wear a pretty head-scarf or a simple hat like a beret or cloche. There is also the option of the little tie-back veils like this or this. They are pretty but inconspicuous.
 
njlisa said:
Dear CAF community: I pray that all of us remember that we should pray on this board, not advise. Liturgy Geek says, and I quote: “Please pray for me as I continue to discern God’s will on the veiling issue. God bless all of you, your prayers have availed much good in my life. Thank you!!!”

​
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Just saw this after I posted. Sorry about that.
 
I just wanted to let you all know what happened at Mass on Sunday when I wore a headcovering: Nothing. Not a thing. It felt like the most natural thing. Most of the time, I didn’t even feel like it was on. To me, by having wearing a headcovering feel so completely natural, I have received my answer.

Thank you all for your prayers!
 
Liturgy_Geek said:
I just wanted to let you all know what happened at Mass on Sunday when I wore a headcovering: Nothing. Not a thing. It felt like the most natural thing. Most of the time, I didn’t even feel like it was on. To me, by having wearing a headcovering feel so completely natural, I have received my answer.

Thank you all for your prayers!
Click to expand...
That is wonderful !

I have been veiling for Mass and Private Prayer for some years now after a lot of wanting to and knowing my husband wanted me to, but not having the courage. It is something I now feel very strongly about and feel a real conviction for. God bless
 
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