Disclosure DURING marriage

[lp22]

My cousin related this disturbing story at a recent funeral. I wonder if you could shed some light on the Catholic view of this.

While she was married her husband became more distant and look at her less and things just fell apart. She found out recently, 10 years after the divorce, that he had been raped by a homosexual on a business trip in Canada. I’m sure it was extremely traumatic. She found out that he had told his good friend, female, at work, and he told his new wife, but he never told her. She’s so distraught about this, wonders if his behavior was affected by the incident, wonders if everything would’ve been different if he had shared this with her, and wonders if people are supposed to keep these big things from their spouses during marriage. I had no idea. Do any of you?

 

[pianistclare]

Nameless folks on an internet forum cannot know what he felt for certain…
But logic says:
Full disclosure is a must for an informed and healthy marriage.
He must have been very traumatized and damaged emotionally.
Yes, had he been open and sought the counseling he needed to deal with this violent event, things might very well have been different.

I would suggest that if you care for this woman, you encourage her to stop blaming herself for something that happened 10 years ago that she had no foreknowledge about.
She needs to move on. She can pray for his happiness, but it’s water under the bridge now. She needs to stop wondering. He has a new wife. He likely was not able to deal with it at the time of their marriage, which yes, is unfortunate.
Help her to seek a place of peace beyond this hurtful memory.

 

[AussieTrish]

Praying for your cousin that she will be blessed with healing and peace.