D
DonaNobis_Pacem
Guest
I wonder if my dad is right: I have one “attitude” for church and another “attitude” for home. Here’s the deal.
It seems like there’s a physical disconnect between myself and the rest of my family members. The only people to whom I feel close, although even that’s rather remote, are my mother and my youngest sister. But I feel as though I can’t talk to them about anything; they don’t understand me as a person, that I have my own ideas and opinions, and that I do sometimes do stupid things or mess up badly and have to suffer the consequences as a result.
At the same time, there also seems to be a spiritual disconnect that affects all of us. The only time we pray together is at dinner now, especially since we’re all going in different directions until rather late at night (usually around 10 p.m.). We don’t offer prayers for family intentions anymore, and haven’t since my aunt passed back in '99 (may God grant rest to her soul). My dad has his saint prayers, various daily prayers, and the Rosary that he prays every day; when he doesn’t work, he also goes to daily Mass at a parish in the next town over. However, I’ve formed a different spirituality than he has, and I’ve also become more conscientious about going to confession when I know I’ve committed serious sin (I’ve also become more conscious about not receiving Holy Communion when conscious of serious sin). My sisters, on the other hand, only seem to go to Mass out of necessity, and because they know our parents would have their heads on poles for not going. At the same time, though, even if they do miss Mass, they think it’s “not a big deal” and they continue to receive Holy Communion; I used to do the same thing, going for a long period of time without going to confession, but as I grew older I gained knowledge about what constitutes serious sin, to confess it before receiving Holy Communion, and to not receive if I haven’t confessed.
The problem is, when I try to encourage my sisters (especially the middle of my three younger siblings) or correct them, I pretty much get a slap in the face for trying to help them live their faith more fully. Granted, I’ve fallen off in devotional prayers, but I am struggling to find the time and the will to pray them. But I ended up going to my room and crying once because my sister took the Holy Name of Jesus in vain…she had been in an accident last year; by the grace of God, the worst of her injuries were a mild concussion, a laceration above her hairline, and otherwise some road rash. She could have died, and this was how she thanked our Lord? I was heartbroken. I myself have made a conscious effort to cease taking God’s name in vain…the fact that she took the Name of Jesus in vain forced me to correct her harshly, and as a result, she flew off the handle at me. It’s as if I’m the only one who knows about regular confession, not receiving Holy Communion if conscious of serious sin, and not taking God’s name or the Name of Jesus in vain.
I would catechize the rest of my family, but I don’t think they’d want to listen to me. After all, my dad told me my “sanctimonious” attitude is reserved for church, while I don’t act “very Christian” at home.
Sorry for the ramble, but I had to get this out.
It seems like there’s a physical disconnect between myself and the rest of my family members. The only people to whom I feel close, although even that’s rather remote, are my mother and my youngest sister. But I feel as though I can’t talk to them about anything; they don’t understand me as a person, that I have my own ideas and opinions, and that I do sometimes do stupid things or mess up badly and have to suffer the consequences as a result.
At the same time, there also seems to be a spiritual disconnect that affects all of us. The only time we pray together is at dinner now, especially since we’re all going in different directions until rather late at night (usually around 10 p.m.). We don’t offer prayers for family intentions anymore, and haven’t since my aunt passed back in '99 (may God grant rest to her soul). My dad has his saint prayers, various daily prayers, and the Rosary that he prays every day; when he doesn’t work, he also goes to daily Mass at a parish in the next town over. However, I’ve formed a different spirituality than he has, and I’ve also become more conscientious about going to confession when I know I’ve committed serious sin (I’ve also become more conscious about not receiving Holy Communion when conscious of serious sin). My sisters, on the other hand, only seem to go to Mass out of necessity, and because they know our parents would have their heads on poles for not going. At the same time, though, even if they do miss Mass, they think it’s “not a big deal” and they continue to receive Holy Communion; I used to do the same thing, going for a long period of time without going to confession, but as I grew older I gained knowledge about what constitutes serious sin, to confess it before receiving Holy Communion, and to not receive if I haven’t confessed.
The problem is, when I try to encourage my sisters (especially the middle of my three younger siblings) or correct them, I pretty much get a slap in the face for trying to help them live their faith more fully. Granted, I’ve fallen off in devotional prayers, but I am struggling to find the time and the will to pray them. But I ended up going to my room and crying once because my sister took the Holy Name of Jesus in vain…she had been in an accident last year; by the grace of God, the worst of her injuries were a mild concussion, a laceration above her hairline, and otherwise some road rash. She could have died, and this was how she thanked our Lord? I was heartbroken. I myself have made a conscious effort to cease taking God’s name in vain…the fact that she took the Name of Jesus in vain forced me to correct her harshly, and as a result, she flew off the handle at me. It’s as if I’m the only one who knows about regular confession, not receiving Holy Communion if conscious of serious sin, and not taking God’s name or the Name of Jesus in vain.
I would catechize the rest of my family, but I don’t think they’d want to listen to me. After all, my dad told me my “sanctimonious” attitude is reserved for church, while I don’t act “very Christian” at home.
Sorry for the ramble, but I had to get this out.
