Discouraged about Baptism

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I just returned from a meeting with my priest and I’m very discouraged. Last year during Lent I returned to the church after a long absence. In confession I told him I had not yet had my two youngest children baptized and he asked how old they were. When I told him their ages he said that was good, they had not yet reached the age of reason, 7, and it wouldn’t be a problem getting them baptized. Today he tells me he wants them enrolled in the PSR program before he will consider baptizing them. This presents several problems. My son, who will be 6 the end of August, has PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder. He doesn’t communicate well and is not completely potty trained, he’s deathly allergic to peanuts (a very real concern when around other young children) …there are a lot of problems with sending him to PSR. To compound the problem, I am full time care giver to my invalid mother and just dropping him off isn’t an option…and we CAN NOT have some one sit with my mother for several reasons. I have a 20 yr. old that has been raised in catholic schools and the church…and received the sacraments. It’s not like I’m going to get them baptized and then not raise them in the faith. I am so discouraged. I feel they NEED to be baptized right away. I have hardly any money…but I tithe, some how I will come up with the money he tells me I need for annulments, which are in the works now. We have to jump through hoops to just get to mass with my situation with my mother. I feel like when I need the church…it’s not there for me. They say “welcome home”, but I don’t feel so welcome. I want to know…am I being unreasonable or not? I did ask him to speak to my children (we pray and have prayed together everyday, they know about the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Mary, Adam and Eve, the Rosary etc.) before he decided to not baptize them without instruction. We set up an appointment a week and a half from now. What do you think?
 
I think, if I were in your shoes, I’d discuss your situation with him frankly. There is no reason a child under seven should need to be in any educational program prior to baptism. If you are, indeed, going to Mass, working on annulments (BTW, if money is an issue they can work out payments or, even, do the work for free) and tithing, there should be no issue around the well-founded hope that the children will be raised Catholic.

Deacon Ed
 
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jasm:
I just returned from a meeting with my priest and I’m very discouraged. Last year during Lent I returned to the church after a long absence. In confession I told him I had not yet had my two youngest children baptized and he asked how old they were. When I told him their ages he said that was good, they had not yet reached the age of reason, 7, and it wouldn’t be a problem getting them baptized. Today he tells me he wants them enrolled in the PSR program before he will consider baptizing them. This presents several problems. My son, who will be 6 the end of August, has PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder. He doesn’t communicate well and is not completely potty trained, he’s deathly allergic to peanuts (a very real concern when around other young children) …there are a lot of problems with sending him to PSR. To compound the problem, I am full time care giver to my invalid mother and just dropping him off isn’t an option…and we CAN NOT have some one sit with my mother for several reasons. I have a 20 yr. old that has been raised in catholic schools and the church…and received the sacraments. It’s not like I’m going to get them baptized and then not raise them in the faith. I am so discouraged. I feel they NEED to be baptized right away. I have hardly any money…but I tithe, some how I will come up with the money he tells me I need for annulments, which are in the works now. We have to jump through hoops to just get to mass with my situation with my mother. I feel like when I need the church…it’s not there for me. They say “welcome home”, but I don’t feel so welcome. I want to know…am I being unreasonable or not? I did ask him to speak to my children (we pray and have prayed together everyday, they know about the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Mary, Adam and Eve, the Rosary etc.) before he decided to not baptize them without instruction. We set up an appointment a week and a half from now. What do you think?
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I would suggest that you simply call and register them for PSR. Then lay out what you need to make it happen. What provisions need to be made for him in PSR such as a Catechist trained in “Special needs” education. That someone from the praish will need to pick them up be responsible for them and return them home from PSR. Or someone will need to sit with your mother while you attend PSR with them. Or maybe suggest that a Catechist skilled in special needs education simply come by the house once a week for a lesson. You are willing to place them in PSR as long as the parish provides the necessary learning enviroment and access. Do you have any family members who could help? How about the person who will be their God parent (s)?
 
Deacon Ed’s advice is right on. As a last resort, you could find another priest that would do the Baptism. We get some problem cases that come from other places in our diocese. There are priests like my pastor that don’t want problems to stand in the way of this Sacrament. Parish shopping, however, is a bad 2words in the diocese.
 
He should just be glad you want to return to the church and want to raise your children Catholic.
It has become our standard to leave education up to strangers. The best education comes from home.
I attended a required pre-first communion “retreat” with my offspring.
The lady in charge kept saying the bread and wine are symbols of Christ. She kept repeating the consecration words. It was poorly organized, and was horroble catchecism.
My child looked at me and said, Daddy, it really is the Body and Blood of Jesus.
You know why my child knows this?
Believe it or not, parents still have the ability to teach their children.
I kept my mouth shut about the symbol reference. I should have stood up and said something.
I talked to the president of the parish council and he said he would tell Father.
 
Thank you all for your replies! I agree that education, religious or other wise, begins in the home. I probably should have mentioned that I plan to homeschool my children, beginning this August, and have purchased “Catholic Heritage Curriculum” which is permeated throughout with our Catholic faith. The religion program is the “Who am I” series.
I was so upset when I returned from that meeting and in tears. After thinking about it, considering your post and praying, I have decided to make an appointment with the priest at the parish where my oldest daughter went to school 1990 through 1999. Please pray for me and my children.
God Bless you all and thanks again for your replies,
Debbie
 
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jasm:
Thank you all for your replies! I agree that education, religious or other wise, begins in the home. I probably should have mentioned that I plan to homeschool my children, beginning this August, and have purchased “Catholic Heritage Curriculum” which is permeated throughout with our Catholic faith. The religion program is the “Who am I” series.
I was so upset when I returned from that meeting and in tears. After thinking about it, considering your post and praying, I have decided to make an appointment with the priest at the parish where my oldest daughter went to school 1990 through 1999. Please pray for me and my children.
God Bless you all and thanks again for your replies,
Debbie
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Debbie…You certainly have my prayers…I think you have made a good decision. As Deacon Ed said, there is no reason such a young child should be made to attend classes to be baptized. You ar perfectly capable of teaching y our children what they need to know about the sacrament.

Jesus has told us to bring the little children to him, and commend you for obeying that command…Don’t let the first priest upset you. Your instincts are right on…
 
When my 4th child was born, we had to move and the priest at the new parish insisted on a prebaptismal program. My husband travelled constantly and getting a sitter for 4 children under 10 was almost impossible, besides which I didn’t know anybody. When I threatened to baptize the little guy in the kitchen sink on the grounds of emergency :mad: , my husband called the pastor of the previous parish and related the problem. They told us to come, and baptized the baby with no more burdens.This doesn’t exactly follow your situation, but if you have to go to another parish where they are more understanding, it can be done.
 
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