Discouraged: Want a Baby but Insurance Doesn't Cover Maternity

[Anglewannabe]

Well, since this is a Catholic website, I am going to suggest (meant in a charitable way) you turn to Jesus for comfort. He is our healer. I am Canadian so I really don’t know how medicare works in the states. But Jesus does and He will provide better than any insurance plan

 

[MaryT777]

Yes, it might seem like a long wait, but I would also wait until November. Maybe albeit you are ready to be a mother, you and your husband could spend some special time together until then.

It sounds as if you are both very frugal. Maybe give you some extra time to save a little more for something special for the baby’s room or something as such.

God Bless and I hope it all works out for you as you hope.

Mary.

 

[YADA]

I have been talking for quite a long time (particularly on CAF) about the obscenely high cost of delivery. So, obviously, I agree with you - it’s the PRO-LIFE issue nobody wants to talk about. I think it’s just wrong - wrong on so many levels - that abortions cost $300-$400, and people talk about how much $$ money PP makes on what are essentially “low-cost” procedures – yet, a standard delivery costs upwards of $10-$15,000 and nobody wants to talk about what can be done to m byake childbirth more affordable. That said, AFAIC, this is the next phase of the PRO-LIFE movement - not needing to take out a second mortgage or/and buy supplement insurance (really?) for choosing life. No. You shouldn’t have to buy supplement insurance to choose life.

Well the dead babies have no legal standing to sue PP or their parents for loss …which keeps the.cost of abortion down …the doctors at PP don’t have the same liability costs which keeps abortion prices down. the moms don’t care how damaged the baby …in fact it’s the goal …so there is no parallel

Medical malpractice insurance has reduced the number of doctors that deliver babies and is the number one driver of the high costs …

That said if you want a family …it’s similar to your other desires …figure out how to cover the expense. The OP has student loans they said so they didn’t let cost stop you there …stop complaining and start praying, Find better employment, better insurance for both of you …get your lives in order, financial, spiritual, and health all before you bring a ba y into the world.

Blessings

 

[egretps]

My first baby, I had insurance, and we changed doctors midway during the pregnancy to midwives with hospital privileges, (I do not reccomended changing mid-pregnancy unless it’s for a very dear reason. I just wanted to try out midwifery and have an office closer to my job. Not a good enough reason.) Complications arrived in the last two weeks, I still had 2k to pay to cover costs. With insurance, because that was how my plan worked.

Second baby, I was no longer working outside the home, we were paying for private insurance, without maternity benefits and we negotiated the fees with the hospital and separately the doctor for cash at the beginning of the pregnancy. “Cash pay” patient. Prepaid $2K for the doctors fees and $2k for the hospital, a decade ago.

I once again developed complications, the regular health insurance we were paying for would have kicked in to take care of those costs. But, our negotiated costs prior to the delivery were what the hospital and doctor used our pre negotiated/prepaid fees to cover the costs. So they couldn’t charge my insurance. I had a three day stay in the hospital, tons of $$$ meds, and excellent care. I even loved the hospital food. Not bad for all that and I got a baby out of the deal.

Both my babies were fine and healthy, I got through it, and*** I thank God and Our Lady of La Leche***. missionandshrine.org/our-lady-of-la-leche-shrine/ (AKA Our Lady of a Happy Delivery and Plentiful Milk!! So sweet! I highly reccomend getting aquainted with her.)

 

[Spark2]

Although I’m in Massachusetts, here you can hire a home-based midwife for all prenatal care and delivery. You can shop around for someone you feel comfortable with and can afford and then pay in installments. It’s an all-inclusive cost. These are women who have delivered lots and lots of babies and it is very safe for low-risk births (i.e., healthy women having an uncomplicated pregnancy). I interviewed a few of them for doula services with my second baby, and was very impressed (although I ended up going with a hospital-based midwife and using our insurance.)

Be so careful though; I carefully planned and costed out a birth and then ended up with a pregnancy that unexpectedly came with multiple and long lasting complications. I had no reason to predict that I would have problems, but I did and it ended up costing us about 5 times more than we predicted, both for mother and infant care. Problems happen and we decimated our savings. I’d wait.

 

[Lorelei12]

November is only a few months away. Personally, I’d do a lot of research between then and now and choose a better plan to switch to at that time.

You don’t mention why you are the main breadwinner- is that something you expect to change? In the future, will you both be able to work?

A lot of women work through their entire pregnancies (I did, and it was fine) but other women end up with complications and/or are just too sick and exhausted, and there is really no way to tell how it is going to go beforehand. I would have been very uncomfortable being the main income earner while pregnant if my husband was unable to work. As it was, our bills for the whole pregnancy and birth (paid by insurance) were about $18,000 and that was without a c-section.

When we were married, I had a lot of student debt and what we did was, while both working full-time, use my entire paycheck to pay it off. I still have a few thousand left on it, but when we had our son it was down by a lot. We wanted to have kids sooner, but were not in a good financial position to do so, so we waited. I know how hard it is and how discouraging it is when you are longing for a child- I really do. Now, we don’t really earn “extra” money but we are comfortable knowing most of the loans are paid off. Plus, although a lot of people on this site will tell you how inexpensive kids are, for us that has not been true, since he needs some specialized care.

My mother-in-law had a c-section when she gave birth to my husband, and worked out a payment plan with the hospital and paid a certain amount to them for many, many years. (They did not have health insurance.) So, this can be done, but she did a lot of work at odd hours when my husband was little to pay it off, so there can be a tradeoff depending on your situation.

 

[Xantippe]

November is only a few months away. Personally, I’d do a lot of research between then and now and choose a better plan to switch to at that time.

You don’t mention why you are the main breadwinner- is that something you expect to change? In the future, will you both be able to work?

A lot of women work through their entire pregnancies (I did, and it was fine) but other women end up with complications and/or are just too sick and exhausted, and there is really no way to tell how it is going to go beforehand. I would have been very uncomfortable being the main income earner while pregnant if my husband was unable to work. As it was, our bills for the whole pregnancy and birth (paid by insurance) were about $18,000 and that was without a c-section.

When we were married, I had a lot of student debt and what we did was, while both working full-time, use my entire paycheck to pay it off. I still have a few thousand left on it, but when we had our son it was down by a lot. We wanted to have kids sooner, but were not in a good financial position to do so, so we waited. I know how hard it is and how discouraging it is when you are longing for a child- I really do. Now, we don’t really earn “extra” money but we are comfortable knowing most of the loans are paid off. Plus, although a lot of people on this site will tell you how inexpensive kids are, for us that has not been true, since he needs some specialized care.

My mother-in-law had a c-section when she gave birth to my husband, and worked out a payment plan with the hospital and paid a certain amount to them for many, many years. (They did not have health insurance.) So, this can be done, but she did a lot of work at odd hours when my husband was little to pay it off, so there can be a tradeoff depending on your situation.

Those are some very good points.

From what I hear, student loans make young parenthood very uncomfortable, so be aggressive about getting your balances down during any waiting time.

But once there is a pregnancy in the works, the standard personal finance advice is to stop aggressively paying off debt and just save for possible emergencies. Then use the money to pay off debt, once baby is delivered and everything is going well. (I’d also add that a family of three needs a larger emergency fund than a family of two.)

 

[randomuser]

Well the dead babies have no legal standing to sue PP or their parents for loss …which keeps the.cost of abortion down …the doctors at PP don’t have the same liability costs which keeps abortion prices down. the moms don’t care how damaged the baby …in fact it’s the goal …so there is no parallel

Medical malpractice insurance has reduced the number of doctors that deliver babies and is the number one driver of the high costs …

That said if you want a family …it’s similar to your other desires …figure out how to cover the expense. The OP has student loans they said so they didn’t let cost stop you there …stop complaining and start praying, Find better employment, better insurance for both of you …get your lives in order, financial, spiritual, and health all before you bring a ba y into the world.

Blessings

Yes, of course there’s a parallel. If the mother of the unborn baby is feeling discouraged enough (as the OP is) at the blatant disparity of costs between killing a baby and delivering a baby…“medical malpractice” is a red herring. Needless to say, the phrase “medical malpractice” as it relates to the issue at hand - directly relates to things like family medical leave - can’t choose life if your employer will fire you for it - and pre-natal care, things which (surprise, surprise) don’t get considered as valid PRO-LIFE concerns. So, naturally, why wouldn’t you see the parallels since everything up to the actual birth, and everything after the baby’s born, doesn’t seem to count as PRO-LIFE? I’m a little perplexed as to how or why the “real life” of what it means to be PRO-LIFE really doesn’t seem to get talked about. Having a baby doesn’t happen in a vacuum – and it would be nice if more midwives could contract in-network with hospitals (to submit just one example) would go a long to helping lower to cost of delivery. Lest we forget OP’s comment.

 

[randomuser]

But once there is a pregnancy in the works, the standard personal finance advice is to stop aggressively paying off debt and just save for possible emergencies. Then use the money to pay off debt, once baby is delivered and everything is going well. (I’d also add that a family of three needs a larger emergency fund than a family of two.)

Why is all the advice directed to the family? Doesn’t the insurance company – doesn’t the hospital – deserve any advice to help lower costs? It’s a-okay for them to charge $18,000+ for delivery, nobody ever raises their hand to say, “Uh, hello? Why is this so expensive?” A triple-heart bypass is less expensive. Heck, brain surgery is literally less expensive. I can only hope that subsequent generations – millennials, builders, whoever – decide to make affordable childbirth an inescapable part of the PRO-LIFE movement since there has been so much attention on Roe v. Wade and very little (if any) attention on the obscenely expensive cost to choose life.

 

[Anglewannabe]

That said if you want a family …it’s similar to your other desires …figure out how to cover the expense. **The OP has student loans they said so they didn’t let cost stop you there …**stop complaining and start praying, Find better employment, better insurance for both of you …get your lives in order, financial, spiritual, and health all before you bring a ba y into the world.

Blessings

Ouch, as much as you make a good point, there is such a thing as speaking the truth in love and a bit of compassion is worth a lot.

Having student loans is much different. All you have to do is work to pay them off and it stops there. When you are a mom, it is not as easy to just work and the baby expenses keep piling on

 

[YADA]

Why is all the advice directed to the family? Doesn’t the insurance company – doesn’t the hospital – deserve any advice to help lower costs? It’s a-okay for them to charge $18,000+ for delivery, nobody ever raises their hand to say, “Uh, hello? Why is this so expensive?” A triple-heart bypass is less expensive. Heck, brain surgery is literally less expensive. I can only hope that subsequent generations – millennials, builders, whoever – decide to make affordable childbirth an inescapable part of the PRO-LIFE movement since there has been so much attention on Roe v. Wade and very little (if any) attention on the obscenely expensive cost to choose life.

The OP stated clearly that she is the primary income …no explanation as to why …says they have debt …and has inadequate insurance …admits she could change in November …and riles there is no support …

Being pro-life does not mean the world should move mountains to help someone plan how to pay for their family. Now I do help those in need …medical expenses etc. I paid for the delivery and care of a single mom and child for 4+ years and do not need lectures on caring.

Malpractice suits involving the birth of babies is far more expensive than bi-pass surgery. We need limitation on lawsuits -tort reform …

The OP may want a child but this immediate time may not be prudent and comments & suggestions are meant to help her …are her and her husband healthy enough - at this moment in time - to undertake another dependent? Are they financially ready? How are they going to cover medical costs …not just for the delivery but ongoing …for the child and themselves? Who is going to provide the primary family income and primary care of the infant?

These may be pro-life questions but they are first and foremost for the couple …because if their answer is “others” or the world is not pro-life …they are neglecting their primary responsibility.

 

[Xantippe]

Why is all the advice directed to the family? Doesn’t the insurance company – doesn’t the hospital – deserve any advice to help lower costs? It’s a-okay for them to charge $18,000+ for delivery, nobody ever raises their hand to say, “Uh, hello? Why is this so expensive?” A triple-heart bypass is less expensive. Heck, brain surgery is literally less expensive. I can only hope that subsequent generations – millennials, builders, whoever – decide to make affordable childbirth an inescapable part of the PRO-LIFE movement since there has been so much attention on Roe v. Wade and very little (if any) attention on the obscenely expensive cost to choose life.

1. Why is all the advice directed to the family? Because families are the ones asking for financial advice here. Blue Cross Blue Shield isn’t a regular poster…
2. You may not have noticed it, but the federal government is DEEPLY involved in medical care in the US. (As I mentioned previously, 45% of US births are covered by Medicaid.) If you don’t like the results, maybe the feds, tax payers, and health care workers are part of the problem, not just the hospital and the insurance companies?

Furthermore, we just enacted the ACA a few years ago, so we’re all supposed to have health insurance now…So if we all don’t, maybe we should look at the last five decades of screw ups involving health care policy before committing any more of them.

Also, I suggest you look at Megan McArdle’s pieces on the ACA in her archives:

bloomberg.com/view/contributors/AQjVOcPejrY/megan-mcardle

She has dozens of them.

1. As MM would point out, the real profit-takers in the health care world aren’t insurance companies or hospitals.

“According to the AHA, about 18 percent of U.S. hospitals are private, for-profit hospitals, while 23 percent are owned by state and local governments. The rest are private, nonprofit facilities.”

healthnetpulse.com/broker/2013/10/11/did-you-know-for-profit-versus-nonprofit-hospitals/

So, 1 in 5 hospitals is for profit. 1 in 5 is an actual government-run hospital. And the remaining 3 out of 5 are nonprofit. So, literally 4 out of 5 hospitals aren’t for profit.

Insurance companies, meanwhile, are not making a killing, especially not under the ACA.

“Health insurer Aetna Inc. will stop selling individual Obamacare plans next year in 11 of the 15 states where it had been participating in the program, joining other major insurers that have pulled out of the government-run markets in the face of mounting losses.”

bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-08-16/aetna-quits-most-obamacare-markets-joining-other-major-insurers

1. So, where does the money go? Mostly to nice people in scrubs.

US health care workers make a very good living compared to the rest of the world. Go ahead and look this up.

economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/15/how-much-do-doctors-in-other-countries-make/?_r=0

1. “A triple-heart bypass is less expensive. Heck, brain surgery is literally less expensive.”

Seriously?

“Heart bypass surgery typically costs about $70,000-$200,000 or more, and heart valve replacement surgery typically costs $80,000-$200,000 or more.” (That’s the no-insurance price.)

health.costhelper.com/heart-surgery.html

“For patients not covered by health insurance, the typical cost of brain surgery ranges from $50,000-$150,000 or more.”

A person as passionate as you are about health care should read more about health care.

health.costhelper.com/brain-surgery.html

 

[Liz_Smith]

Thank you everyone for your comments. I wish I had time to respond to each of you personally. I’m glad to have some practical direction to begin in as I learn more and explore my options. (And thank you for your prayers!)

To respond to valid points and questions regarding my mentioning of health, finances, student loans, jobs, etc., I’m just not going to go into details. (I’m not saying anyone was asking me to go into details here on the forum, and they are good things to think about. I do think about them! ) I gave the basic background of our situation to provide some content for the community I am reaching out to here.

I just want to say again why I wrote my original post. I started this thread because I feel like my own research/prayers/talking with friends hasn’t given me a whole lot of comfort. (Yes, “feel” - I remember being scolded in college for using the word “feel” when I should have used the word “think” haha) Last night when I wrote my post, I had just gotten off the phone with our insurance and a local birth center. I was feeling… discouraged.

For all the different angles you could take my post, (religious, psychological, moral, economical, political…) what I’m ultimately saying is: I’m deeply discouraged and I would just like some comfort and advice. :sad_yes: (pretty please?)

Yes, I just quoted myself…

I admit that I am being very silly, and I basically want a hug through the internet.

This whole baby thing is just something that has been weighing on my heart, and after numerous hours of googling, emailing, calling, I needed some place to turn. Thank you to everyone who has offered advice, alternate options, encouragement, prayers… I am very grateful for the thought-provoking points brought up in this thread and I will continue looking into various options.

If you like to skim, just read this paragraph: I will add, just for clarification, that the “health issues” I was referring to are more to the tone of “your biological clock is ticking faster than it should be at your age” rather than “having a baby will mean one year of bedrest and might kill you.” So I’m thinking: start a family* soon or never*. I know God can work His wonders, but this warning has left us kind of shaken. Add to that the last-minute insurance change, surprise expenses that come with that… I just want a hug! (Sometimes skimming is all you have time for - that’s ok! Thank you for stopping by at all. We all have busy lives.:juggle

And my husband’s job situation… He’s not unemployed, we just couldn’t live off of only his income at this point. Just watch “The Firm” with Tom Cruise to get (a dramatized and more interesting) idea of what we went through… sometimes doing the right thing results in a kind of suffering. (And awesome action sequences)

We’ve been hit with these things pretty recently, and this situation is hopefully temporary. I’m just sticker-shocked at the price of delivery alone… that’s money that we’re saving for diapers, strollers, onesies…

Not to get too political, but I am honestly surprised that there don’t seem to be any crisis pregnancy centers around here that do low-cost deliveries. I would gladly donate WAY more money than they ask for, but the birth center/hospital prices are out of our range… (I know a place like this back home, hundreds of miles away. I swear I didn’t just dream it up, haha) How can we tell pregnant teenagers to choose life when it means thousands of dollars just to get the baby this side of the womb? (Maybe that’s kind of off topic from my selfish and desperate plea for internet hugs… and that situation is very different. I’ll stop now!)

Anyway, thank you again to everyone who’s taken time to skim/read/answer my thread.

 

[Liz_Smith]

I’m not sure where you are from, but I’m the director of a crisis pregnancy centers and I know three Catholic OBs who would very likely deliver for free/reduced rate (though you’d still need to pay hospital). PM me if you’re in the Midwest. Otherwise, call local pregnancy centers and see if they have a doc on staff (if they have an ultrasound machine, they will have a doc).

Thanks for the tip. Not Midwest, unfortunately. We’re out East. That’s a good call to ask if they have a doc on staff. Their phones tend to have weird hours (like Monday mornings and Wednesday evenings, etc.) so with work I’ve just left messages/emails so far. When I hear back, I’ll ask about a doc/nurse on staff.

I did find a place nearby that does free pregnancy tests and free ultrasounds! That’s cool. I will still donate money to them for it, but nice to know the option is there.

Thanks again!

 

[Liz_Smith]

I’m usually pretty logical and level-headed…

That’s what everyone says. :dts:

…until babies are involved. Then everyone totally loses it.

 

[MaryT777]

…until babies are involved. Then everyone totally loses it.

LOL!~ Yes, there is definitely truth to that.

Here is you Internet hug you were hoping for. and God bless you and your husband…

:hug1:

 

[Liz_Smith]

Yes, it might seem like a long wait, but I would also wait until November. Maybe albeit you are ready to be a mother, you and your husband could spend some special time together until then.

It sounds as if you are both very frugal. Maybe give you some extra time to save a little more for something special for the baby’s room or something as such.

God Bless and I hope it all works out for you as you hope.

Mary.

Thank you. I’m spending the next several days wading through the miasma of insurance jargon… :hypno:

I don’t know if I can begin research on Marketplace insurance options until Open Enrollment. Other companies (Aetna, Blue Cross, etc.) seem to offer information/special enrollment year-round.

I am finding some good information on supplemental insurance, but my husband didn’t like the sound of it because you can only sign up before you conceive… he’s worried they’ll throw in some other curveball, like: “Oh yeah, and we don’t cover multiples.” That’s why you read the fine print, haha

The search for information continues!!

 

[Liz_Smith]

LOL!~ Yes, there is definitely truth to that.

Here is you Internet hug you were hoping for. and God bless you and your husband…

:hug1:

THANK YOU!! It’s so high-def

God bless you as well!

 

[Liz_Smith]

You can likely get it on your own. The thing is it’s not typically subsidized in any way, either by your company or by Obamacare.

Another option might be to investigate whether your employer’s policy is obamacare compliant. If not, you can opt out and purchase a (possibly subsidized) plan off the marketplace. I believe obamacare requires maternity coverage to be included.

Unfortunately, it’s Obamacare compliant. Maternity is covered, AFTER we hit $13,000. I’m trying to explore more affordable options (and hopefully our birth would be uncomplicated and not reach the deductible - but it could still get VERY expensive) and supplemental insurance is looking like a good place to start.

Have you (or anyone) heard of CMF Curo? Christian health-expenses-sharing-network. (Not insurance, but gets you out of the insurance penalty if you don’t also have insurance) I don’t think it’s a great option for us at this point, but maybe worth looking into?

 

[Xantippe]

Unfortunately, it’s Obamacare compliant. Maternity is covered, AFTER we hit $13,000. I’m trying to explore more affordable options (and hopefully our birth would be uncomplicated and not reach the deductible - but it could still get VERY expensive) and supplemental insurance is looking like a good place to start.

Have you (or anyone) heard of CMF Curo? Christian health-expenses-sharing-network. (Not insurance, but gets you out of the insurance penalty if you don’t also have insurance) I don’t think it’s a great option for us at this point, but maybe worth looking into?

Once there’s a pregnancy, if this all hasn’t been sorted out yet, go talk to a hospital billing office, lay out your situation and ask what you can do.

They are (surprisingly) nice people and they see this stuff every day. They can cut down your bill, put you on payments, etc. (I once had a friend’s $10k hospital bill forgiven entirely, after we put together a HUGE pile of documents proving her and her family’s inability to pay.)

But, in all honesty, I wouldn’t rush ahead with getting pregnant until I was a lot more comfortable about the financial situation.

Come to think of it, maybe you should talk to your OB/GYN and ask his or her opinion on how big a risk you’d be taking with regard to fertility by waiting different lengths of time (3 months/6 months/9 months/18 months/whatever)? They may have some opinions and/or hard facts.

You’ve got two different timelines going–on the one hand, your financial situation will hopefully be getting better and better with time–but on the other hand, the fertility situation will be getting worse and worse. Theoretically, it would be possible (if you had to) to pay the whole $13k in cash–if you could just have the baby at that point. But even managing half of that would cut the thing down to size…

Then there’s the question of how long it will take to get pregnant–it might be right away, it might be years from now.