Discouragement after sin

[Monica4316]

I’ve noticed this that when I sin, I get really discouraged and sometimes have some sort of self-hatred. It’s not in any angry way but in a discouraged sad kind of way. I also have a lot of trouble “forgiving myself” for things after God forgave me. Even though I know He forgives, I dwell on it.

When I read some of the Saints, I see that they were happy to see themselves imperfect and they had a humility, they talked about despising yourself but in a different way. I think it translates sort of to distrusting yourself, and putting all your hope in God. They still had peace and didn’t get discouraged even if they saw faults in themselves.

If I’m closer to God, it’s easier to have more of this attitude. But lately I’ve been struggling and I don’t want to sin, yet I still sin. And I get discouraged at times. How do we deal with that? I know pride is involved in this because it’s like we hope we’re “better than this”. But the more I see myself, the more I seem more sinful than Catholics around me. I’m not saying that with some sort of false humility, I really feel that way. I’ve done some horrible things and hurt God and others a lot. When we think of the past… whether before or after Confession… how are we supposed to deal with these feelings? thank you

 

[peaceandmercy]

I’ve noticed this that when I sin, I get really discouraged and sometimes have some sort of self-hatred. It’s not in any angry way but in a discouraged sad kind of way. I also have a lot of trouble “forgiving myself” for things after God forgave me. Even though I know He forgives, I dwell on it.

When I read some of the Saints, I see that they were happy to see themselves imperfect and they had a humility, they talked about despising yourself but in a different way. I think it translates sort of to distrusting yourself, and putting all your hope in God. They still had peace and didn’t get discouraged even if they saw faults in themselves.

If I’m closer to God, it’s easier to have more of this attitude. But lately I’ve been struggling and I don’t want to sin, yet I still sin. And I get discouraged at times. How do we deal with that? I know pride is involved in this because it’s like we hope we’re “better than this”. But the more I see myself, the more I seem more sinful than Catholics around me. I’m not saying that with some sort of false humility, I really feel that way. I’ve done some horrible things and hurt God and others a lot. When we think of the past… whether before or after Confession… how are we supposed to deal with these feelings? thank you

Don’t you think the fact that you feel bad about it,
even going as far as posting this shows you something about yourself?
i think you show the signs of a good person,
i’m not asking you to compare, but you are not alone,
i’m sure a lot of us feel bad after sinning or even some detachment from God, but if you are sincerly sorry, why not just pray and repent?

 

[Ontheway]

I’ve noticed this that when I sin, I get really discouraged and sometimes have some sort of self-hatred. It’s not in any angry way but in a discouraged sad kind of way. I also have a lot of trouble “forgiving myself” for things after God forgave me. Even though I know He forgives, I dwell on it.

When I read some of the Saints, I see that they were happy to see themselves imperfect and they had a humility, they talked about despising yourself but in a different way. I think it translates sort of to distrusting yourself, and putting all your hope in God. They still had peace and didn’t get discouraged even if they saw faults in themselves.

If I’m closer to God, it’s easier to have more of this attitude. But lately I’ve been struggling and I don’t want to sin, yet I still sin. And I get discouraged at times. How do we deal with that? I know pride is involved in this because it’s like we hope we’re “better than this”. But the more I see myself, the more I seem more sinful than Catholics around me. I’m not saying that with some sort of false humility, I really feel that way. I’ve done some horrible things and hurt God and others a lot. When we think of the past… whether before or after Confession… how are we supposed to deal with these feelings? thank you

These feelings are normal. Talk to God. Don’t be afraid. Tell him you are sorry. He knows that we commit sins.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I don’t think every saint was as fine with themself as you are suggesting. Many of them had some really challenging times.

 

[Dorothy]

It can be a battle to focus on Jesus and His merciful love when we are tempted to be annoyed with ourselves.

Practice makes it easier.

Seek a holy priest who can assure you about what to do when you have these distractions.

Peace!

Dorothy

 

[Augustine]

I’ve noticed this that when I sin, I get really discouraged and sometimes have some sort of self-hatred. It’s not in any angry way but in a discouraged sad kind of way. I also have a lot of trouble “forgiving myself” for things after God forgave me. Even though I know He forgives, I dwell on it.

Does your sinning shock you? We are not sinners because we sin, but rather sin because we are sinners.

Lord, have mercy on your servant, Monica!

 

[e_c]

I’ve noticed this that when I sin, I get really discouraged and sometimes have some sort of self-hatred. It’s not in any angry way but in a discouraged sad kind of way. I also have a lot of trouble “forgiving myself” for things after God forgave me. Even though I know He forgives, I dwell on it.

When I read some of the Saints, I see that they were happy to see themselves imperfect and they had a humility, they talked about despising yourself but in a different way. I think it translates sort of to distrusting yourself, and putting all your hope in God. They still had peace and didn’t get discouraged even if they saw faults in themselves.

If I’m closer to God, it’s easier to have more of this attitude. But lately I’ve been struggling and I don’t want to sin, yet I still sin. And I get discouraged at times. How do we deal with that? I know pride is involved in this because it’s like we hope we’re “better than this”. But the more I see myself, the more I seem more sinful than Catholics around me. I’m not saying that with some sort of false humility, I really feel that way. I’ve done some horrible things and hurt God and others a lot. When we think of the past… whether before or after Confession… how are we supposed to deal with these feelings? thank you

Spend some time praying over the fall of Peter and the fall of Judas, with their differing reactions to their sins. You are already responding to grace within, give thanks and keep going!

 

[fide]

I’ve noticed this that when I sin, I get really discouraged and sometimes have some sort of self-hatred. It’s not in any angry way but in a discouraged sad kind of way. I also have a lot of trouble “forgiving myself” for things after God forgave me. Even though I know He forgives, I dwell on it.

Dear Monica4316 - This may be hard to hear, but it contains the truth of God. PLease read and listen to it all - it may show the very light you need…

Question: Wherever did “forgive yourself” come from? My guess - psychology. In a world where we are our our own gods, of course who else is there to forgive us? Notice, however, the prevalence of unhappiness, guilt, projection, stress, mental illness, etc. in a world without God.

Scripture and the Catechism offer more solid wisdom. In the section of the Catechism that presents the Our Father prayer, the petition that asks for His forgiveness is instructive:
“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Catechism:
And forgive us our trespasses . . .
2839 With bold confidence, we began praying to our Father. In begging him that his name be hallowed, we were in fact asking him that we ourselves might be always made more holy. But though we are clothed with the baptismal garment, we do not cease to sin, to turn away from God. Now, in this new petition, we return to him like the prodigal son and, like the tax collector, recognize that we are sinners before him. [Cf. Lk 15:11-32, 18:13] Our petition begins with a “confession” of our wretchedness and his mercy. Our hope is firm because, in his Son, “we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” [Col 1:14; Eph 1:7] We find the efficacious and undoubted sign of his forgiveness in the sacraments of his Church. [Cf. Mt 26:28; Jn 20:23]

2840 Now - and this is daunting - this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see. [Cf. l Jn 4:20] In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace.

Note who must give the forgiveness, and to whom:
We need the forgiveness of God. To have His forgiveness, we must be forgiving [not of ourselves, but…] of “those who trespass against us.” Read again the points of #2840:

• this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us.
• we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see.
• In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love; but*** in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace

---

To pray the Our Father with awareness of what, exactly, Jesus taught us to say (and mean) in this prayer, is to find the solution to much guilt and grief in the world. Our hearts are harden against our neighbors, and thus our hearts are harded against the One who loves us perfectly and can forgive us: God.

The solution: Repent of the sin of “refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters” who have sinned against us! Trust God with their sins! Trust God to lead them to truth! Trust God when He says, “Vengeance is Mine - I will repay, says the Lord.” When we become a people of mercy, trusting Him for justice, His holy and infinite mercy CAN then penetrate OUR hearts, and we will come to know His forgiveness.

 

[Monica4316]

Fide, thanks for the reply, I don’t think I am holding any anger or unforgiveness in my heart towards a person… by “forgiving yourself” I didn’t mean it in the pop psychology way, but just sort of being able to trust in God’s mercy completely and not constantly dwell on the sin afterwards in a discouraged way

 

[Bluebright]

Fide, thanks for the reply, I don’t think I am holding any anger or unforgiveness in my heart towards a person… by “forgiving yourself” I didn’t mean it in the pop psychology way, but just sort of being able to trust in God’s mercy completely and not constantly dwell on the sin afterwards in a discouraged way

I think this is when we have to go to God as if we were like children… you know we say we won’t sin again and we truly mean it at the time but we do. God knows this as any parent knows when the child is naughty and comes running to them saying (perhaps even crying) ’ I’m sorry I won’t do it again’ that they mean it but they in all likelihood they will do it. So I think your problem (like all of us - me too) can be that you are a taking things a little too seriously… I am not saying don’t take sin seriously, yes do… but remember God is love and picture Him as that parent with the child running to Him, He’s probably smiling and shaking His head as he holds out His arms to receive us with His Mercy. God loves us turning to Him for His Mercy. Do you think God is cross with you still? I think you should sit down and think about Divine Mercy and how intense it is, read about it in the Bible, in literature (St Faustina writes a lot about it) and look out for it. Then you’ll see how big it is and be able to forgive yourself. I’m pretty sure it happens to all of us at one stage or another that we just can’t grasp the enormity of Divine Mercy. You only need a contrite heart and to confess, which you did, so you know you’re forgiven, you just need to believe how big your God’s Mercy is … it can be a little unfathomable . Every now and again we all need to step back and be wowed

 

[jcrichton]

I’ve noticed this that when I sin, I get really discouraged and sometimes have some sort of self-hatred. It’s not in any angry way but in a discouraged sad kind of way. I also have a lot of trouble “forgiving myself” for things after God forgave me. Even though I know He forgives, I dwell on it.

When I read some of the Saints, I see that they were happy to see themselves imperfect and they had a humility, they talked about despising yourself but in a different way. I think it translates sort of to distrusting yourself, and putting all your hope in God. They still had peace and didn’t get discouraged even if they saw faults in themselves.

If I’m closer to God, it’s easier to have more of this attitude. But lately I’ve been struggling and I don’t want to sin, yet I still sin. And I get discouraged at times. How do we deal with that? I know pride is involved in this because it’s like we hope we’re “better than this”. But the more I see myself, the more I seem more sinful than Catholics around me. I’m not saying that with some sort of false humility, I really feel that way. I’ve done some horrible things and hurt God and others a lot. When we think of the past… whether before or after Confession… how are we supposed to deal with these feelings? thank you

Hi, Monica!

I think that the Saints see clearly what Jesus Taught: ‘if you don’t hate yourselves, mom, dad, wife, child… you cannot be my disciples.’

It is not a destructive “hate;” rather, it is a formative “hate,” reject yourselves and the world and embrace God–which is the 1st Commandment: Love Yahweh God Above all else (Jesus is basically equating Himself to God, yet again; He is letting us Know I AM).

What you feel is both good and bad–good in that it demonstrate that you feel remorse; bad in that you may follow through with negativity and keep yourself from Confession or even allow yourself to sin as though there’s no point or no need for Confession.

Confession Brings us back to God; it is the Remedy which He Instituted through the Church; but we must, as with everything else, practice refraining from sin.

What is it that causes you to sin? Remove that from your path. Change venues. Apply yourself in self-sacrifice; every time you sin remember that it is God that we sin against, first; then ourselves; finally against others.

…and remember that old saying “practice makes perfect;” it also works in our spiritual trek; the more we practice Holiness and refraining from sin the more we can strengthen our spiritual Life.

Finally, don’t forget that this is not a mere temporal battle; Call on the Holy Spirit to Bind you to Him, to keep you Safe, to Guide your mind, body, and spirit.

Maran atha!

Angel

 

[fide]

Fide, thanks for the reply, I don’t think I am holding any anger or unforgiveness in my heart towards a person… by “forgiving yourself” I didn’t mean it in the pop psychology way, but just sort of being able to trust in God’s mercy completely and not constantly dwell on the sin afterwards in a discouraged way

Monica, thak you for your clarification. - What you describe is what we all ought to do: “trust in God’s mercy completely and not constantly dwell on the sin afterwards in a discouraged way.”

But those words “forgive myself” or “forgive yourself” don’t say anything about God at all - those words instead say what we ought not do, that is, to bypass God and give ourselves the power to forgive ourselves for sins against God.

I admit, whenever I hear (especially from the pulpit!), “You need to forgive yourself”, I am deeply troubled. What we need to do is to believe God, and believe in God to forgive when we repent and seek to return to Him in all sincerity, and remain in Him in holiness.

It is part of the godlessness of this culture to make “Me” the ruler of my life, and “Me” the judge of myself, and “Me” the arbiter of my moral choices. But all that is a lie and a deceit. “I” am not the center of the universe - not even of my own little private universe.

Thus when I hear, (especially from the pulpit!), “You need to forgive yourself,” I groan inside. Such “advice” is not from God.

 

[jcrichton]

Monica, thak you for your clarification. - What you describe is what we all ought to do: “trust in God’s mercy completely and not constantly dwell on the sin afterwards in a discouraged way.”

But those words “forgive myself” or “forgive yourself” don’t say anything about God at all - those words instead say what we ought not do, that is, to bypass God and give ourselves the power to forgive ourselves for sins against God.

I admit, whenever I hear (especially from the pulpit!), “You need to forgive yourself”, I am deeply troubled. What we need to do is to believe God, and believe in God to forgive when we repent and seek to return to Him in all sincerity, and remain in Him in holiness.

It is part of the godlessness of this culture to make “Me” the ruler of my life, and “Me” the judge of myself, and “Me” the arbiter of my moral choices. But all that is a lie and a deceit. “I” am not the center of the universe - not even of my own little private universe.

Thus when I hear, (especially from the pulpit!), “You need to forgive yourself,” I groan inside. Such “advice” is not from God.

Hi, Fide!

I think that you are taking a wrong approach to this tenet (‘forgive oneself’); I took care of mom till she died… most people that knew her situation thought I was a great son (just the fact that I was not female and took care of her placed me in the ‘it’s unusual’ column); yet, I kept thinking of the things that I did not do; those every-day-life’s little things that evade our attention because they seem unnecessary or extreme… it is a memory that haunts us… this, I suspect, is what is meant by “forgive yourself/oneself.”

No one is seeking a shortcut to Confession (‘just me and Jesus’); rather, we are asked to accept God’s Absolution and forgive ourselves for our failures and imperfections.

…even now (several years later) I get teary-eyed when I’m hit with one of those seemingly-insignificant-things-then that I could have done or did not do for mom.

…if we allow it, such emotions would floor us and freeze us into non-function.

…on the Sacramental life, such emotions (guilt, impotence, apprehension) could very well put us off the Sacrament of Confession, and, consequently, bring us to a dark path.

Maran atha!

Angel

 

[fide]

Hi, Fide!

I think that you are taking a wrong approach to this tenet (‘forgive oneself’); I took care of mom till she died… most people that knew her situation thought I was a great son (just the fact that I was not female and took care of her placed me in the ‘it’s unusual’ column); yet, I kept thinking of the things that I did not do; those every-day-life’s little things that evade our attention because they seem unnecessary or extreme… it is a memory that haunts us… this, I suspect, is what is meant by “forgive yourself/oneself.”

No one is seeking a shortcut to Confession (‘just me and Jesus’); rather, we are asked to accept God’s Absolution and forgive ourselves for our failures and imperfections.

…even now (several years later) I get teary-eyed when I’m hit with one of those seemingly-insignificant-things-then that I could have done or did not do for mom.

…if we allow it, such emotions would floor us and freeze us into non-function.

…on the Sacramental life, such emotions (guilt, impotence, apprehension) could very well put us off the Sacrament of Confession, and, consequently, bring us to a dark path.

Maran atha!

Angel

Hello j,

I sorry to be persistent, “but”… but

1. I really cannot see what “forgiving oneself” can add to God’s give of mercy and His forgiveness.
2. Is anything lacking in God’s forgiveness? What, exactly? And where do I get the power or authority to add to what Jesus did on the Cross, dying for us and for our salvation?
3. Has He told us anywhere or anytime, that we ought to “forgive ourselves”? Where and when?

I have heard many homilists urge us in the pews, to “forgive ourselves” - but they have never explained or answered my questions above. I would much rather they exhort us all to believe God, and His work on the Cross, and His great love for us, that He would in fact forgive us! He has, and He will! Why, then, do so many not “feel” forgiven?

 

[Monica4316]

Monica, thak you for your clarification. - What you describe is what we all ought to do: “trust in God’s mercy completely and not constantly dwell on the sin afterwards in a discouraged way.”

But those words “forgive myself” or “forgive yourself” don’t say anything about God at all - those words instead say what we ought not do, that is, to bypass God and give ourselves the power to forgive ourselves for sins against God.

I admit, whenever I hear (especially from the pulpit!), “You need to forgive yourself”, I am deeply troubled. What we need to do is to believe God, and believe in God to forgive when we repent and seek to return to Him in all sincerity, and remain in Him in holiness.

It is part of the godlessness of this culture to make “Me” the ruler of my life, and “Me” the judge of myself, and “Me” the arbiter of my moral choices. But all that is a lie and a deceit. “I” am not the center of the universe - not even of my own little private universe.

Thus when I hear, (especially from the pulpit!), “You need to forgive yourself,” I groan inside. Such “advice” is not from God.

That is not what i meant… i meant simply accepting God’s forgiveness in such a way that I not only believe intellectually that I’m forgiven, but no longer dwell on the past sins in my heart - in the discouraged way I mentioned (rather than just remembering the sins for greater contrition)

 

[Monica4316]

Hello j,

I sorry to be persistent, “but”… but

1. I really cannot see what “forgiving oneself” can add to God’s give of mercy and His forgiveness.
2. Is anything lacking in God’s forgiveness? What, exactly? And where do I get the power or authority to add to what Jesus did on the Cross, dying for us and for our salvation?
3. Has He told us anywhere or anytime, that we ought to “forgive ourselves”? Where and when?

I have heard many homilists urge us in the pews, to “forgive ourselves” - but they have never explained or answered my questions above. I would much rather they exhort us all to believe God, and His work on the Cross, and His great love for us, that He would in fact forgive us! He has, and He will! Why, then, do so many not “feel” forgiven?

Maybe the term “forgiving yourself” is misleading… all I meant in this thread was accepting God’s mercy more fully

 

[fide]

Maybe the term “forgiving yourself” is misleading… all I meant in this thread was accepting God’s mercy more fully

Yes, as I understood your post, you do understand the term “forgive yourself” as “accepting God’s mercy more fully” - which is good and appropriate and true.

My concern is for those who understand the term “forgiving yourself” as meaning exactly what the term says - it says we should forgive ourselves. The term says nothing about the One - God - who can forgive us. Nor does it say anything about the Catholic priests who have been given the authority by Jesus and His Spirit to forgive or to retain sins. Rather, it leaves them all out, and focusses on any and every individual person, telling them that they can - and ought to - forgive themselves. This is wrong.

I don’t know, for a fact, where or when this started among Catholics. But it certainly is commonly said and thought these days - and this is not a good thing. The secular culture is “all about ME” as it is! The Church ought not get on that train.

But God bless you, you know where mercy and forgiveness are, and where they gush forth from: the holy Cross, the Passion of Jesus, in His great love for us. We all need to devote much - much - precious time in prayerful meditation before His Holy Cross, until our hearts are broken in repentance because of our sins, and imperfections, and transgressions against Him and those He loves.

Perhaps our problem is not that we do not forgive ourselves, but rather that we do not hate sin enough, we do not desire holiness enough, we do not know well enough that which is in us, that offends God. The Holy Spirit is sent to “convict the world of sin” - we need to welcome Him in, when He does come to convict us - because then, we can repent. And repenting, we can be forgiven, and we can believe - know - that we are forgiven because we come to know ourselves in His light, and we come to know Him better, in Truth, in His light.

 

[jcrichton]

Hello j,

I sorry to be persistent, “but”… but

1. I really cannot see what “forgiving oneself” can add to God’s give of mercy and His forgiveness.
2. Is anything lacking in God’s forgiveness? What, exactly? And where do I get the power or authority to add to what Jesus did on the Cross, dying for us and for our salvation?
3. Has He told us anywhere or anytime, that we ought to “forgive ourselves”? Where and when?

I have heard many homilists urge us in the pews, to “forgive ourselves” - but they have never explained or answered my questions above. I would much rather they exhort us all to believe God, and His work on the Cross, and His great love for us, that He would in fact forgive us! He has, and He will! Why, then, do so many not “feel” forgiven?

Hi, Fide!

The problem is that we are creatures of habits… we know from Scriptures and from the Church’s Teaching that the Sacrament of Confession is God’s means to rid us of sin… that God’s Word is the final Authority (“whose sins you forgive are forgiven…”) but we keep going back to the issue of the trespass… some of us (as I have) would ask God point blank, ‘God could you give me a sign that You’ve forgiven me; that I’m wanted/Loved by You?’ More than once God has been patient and tolerant and Merciful enough to provide me with a direct answer… yet, this insecurity creeps in the next time that things happen…

So it is not about anything lacking with the Sacramental Confession; it is about our frailty; our need to feel God’s Love and Reinstatement… consider if you will a young child who misbehaves… the mom scolds him/her, the child cries, and just as quickly runs to the mom (of dad or the next available adult/older person) and, still sobbing, spreads his/her arms compelling the mom to pick up the child and assure him/her that he/she is Loved.

I think that there are things that remain anthropologically embedded in us (much like the ‘fight/flight response’); it’s the inner child’s need to not just know something through intellection discernment but to know it (feel it) through the senses.

…consider how poorly we lie as children… when we remove the “guilt” from the event… we could become so proficient that, even when caught red-handed, we can spin (the best liars–I hear they earn some sort of “law” degree?) such yarns that we can place doubt in the mind of those who listen; hence, those who have not become calloused to sin are prompted by that need to secure God’s Love through direct means, even and in spite of the Absolution that we are Guaranteed from God.

Maran atha!

Angel

 

[fide]

Hi, Fide!

The problem is that we are creatures of habits… we know from Scriptures and from the Church’s Teaching that the Sacrament of Confession is God’s means to rid us of sin… that God’s Word is the final Authority (“whose sins you forgive are forgiven…”) but we keep going back to the issue of the trespass… some of us (as I have) would ask God point blank, ‘God could you give me a sign that You’ve forgiven me; that I’m wanted/Loved by You?’ More than once God has been patient and tolerant and Merciful enough to provide me with a direct answer… yet, this insecurity creeps in the next time that things happen…

So it is not about anything lacking with the Sacramental Confession; it is about our frailty; our need to feel God’s Love and Reinstatement… consider if you will a young child who misbehaves… the mom scolds him/her, the child cries, and just as quickly runs to the mom (of dad or the next available adult/older person) and, still sobbing, spreads his/her arms compelling the mom to pick up the child and assure him/her that he/she is Loved.

I think that there are things that remain anthropologically embedded in us (much like the ‘fight/flight response’); it’s the inner child’s need to not just know something through intellection discernment but to know it (feel it) through the senses.

…consider how poorly we lie as children… when we remove the “guilt” from the event… we could become so proficient that, even when caught red-handed, we can spin (the best liars–I hear they earn some sort of “law” degree?) such yarns that we can place doubt in the mind of those who listen; hence, those who have not become calloused to sin are prompted by that need to secure God’s Love through direct means, even and in spite of the Absolution that we are Guaranteed from God.

Maran atha!

Angel

Hello again, jcrichton -

Looking over some of your other posts, I see that you cite Scripture frequently, but have not read - do not read - the Catholic Catechism. May I suggest that you consider reading, pondering, meditating on, praying on this wonderful resource - the Catechism - that we Catholics have. The present Catechism is truly a presentation of the Catholic Faith, summarized into one book, to help us enlighten our minds and direct our hearts with the Church- with the mind and heart of the Church - the Church that Jesus Himself formed and sent to be as “mother” for us all.

As Peter wrote, we are to always be growing in the Truth:
1Pet 2:2 Like newborn babes, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up to salvation;

We need the pure teachings of the Catechism to feed and nuture our souls with spiritual Truth. We need the wisdom and understanding of the whole Church to grow to maturity in Christ. As Paul wrote:

Eph 4:11 And his gifts were that some should be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers,
Eph 4:12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,
Eph 4:13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ;
Eph 4:14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the cunning of men, by their craftiness in deceitful wiles.
Eph 4:15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,

This is why we NEED the Catechism! We need all the gifts of God - and He does not give all gifts to any one person - He distributed His gifts among the others in the Church, that we can all help one another.

John Paul II, in endorsing this Catechism, wrote this:

1. The Doctrinal Value of the Text

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, which I approved 25 June last and the publication of which I today order by virtue of my Apostolic Authority, is a statement of the Church’s faith and of catholic doctrine, attested to or illumined by Sacred Scripture, the Apostolic Tradition and the Church’s Magisterium. I declare it to be a sure norm for teaching the faith and thus a valid and legitimate instrument for ecclesial communion. May it serve the renewal to which the Holy Spirit ceaselessly calls the Church of God, the Body of Christ, on her pilgrimage to the undiminished light of the Kingdom!

 

[Monica4316]

Yes, as I understood your post, you do understand the term “forgive yourself” as “accepting God’s mercy more fully” - which is good and appropriate and true.

My concern is for those who understand the term “forgiving yourself” as meaning exactly what the term says - it says we should forgive ourselves. The term says nothing about the One - God - who can forgive us. Nor does it say anything about the Catholic priests who have been given the authority by Jesus and His Spirit to forgive or to retain sins. Rather, it leaves them all out, and focusses on any and every individual person, telling them that they can - and ought to - forgive themselves. This is wrong.

I don’t know, for a fact, where or when this started among Catholics. But it certainly is commonly said and thought these days - and this is not a good thing. The secular culture is “all about ME” as it is! The Church ought not get on that train.

But God bless you, you know where mercy and forgiveness are, and where they gush forth from: the holy Cross, the Passion of Jesus, in His great love for us. We all need to devote much - much - precious time in prayerful meditation before His Holy Cross, until our hearts are broken in repentance because of our sins, and imperfections, and transgressions against Him and those He loves.

Perhaps our problem is not that we do not forgive ourselves, but rather that we do not hate sin enough, we do not desire holiness enough, we do not know well enough that which is in us, that offends God. The Holy Spirit is sent to “convict the world of sin” - we need to welcome Him in, when He does come to convict us - because then, we can repent. And repenting, we can be forgiven, and we can believe - know - that we are forgiven because we come to know ourselves in His light, and we come to know Him better, in Truth, in His light.

I think what I’m envisioning here is when a person does have a strong sense of the reality of a certain sin, but it seems to horrible to them that even though they’ve been forgiven, they still dwell on it a lot and it seems to create some sort of a distrust between the person and God… what would you say to a person in such a situation?