Discouragement with Confession... What to do?

[RealisticCatholic]

I am discouraged when I find myself confessing the same things, especially when I end up going every two weeks or so.

I hope I’m not committing mortal sins. But the church teaches certain things are grave acts, and therefore potentially mortal sins. This ultimately causes me anxiety because I don’t know for sure if they are mortal sins — only that they may be called grave sins, and so possibly mortal sin my own case.

But anyway, the specifics of the sins are not necessary for this thread. I’m just wondering how any of you deal with discouragement with confession, or when you are confessing the same things over again.

P.S. I know these are good questions for confessor/priest, but I’d be asking them within the context of confession. Hence my question now, outside of confession. Thanks!

 

[TTLE127]

Remember that God is a loving God and wants to forgive you. He wants you to go to Confession! Make sure you are not being scrupulous as well. God bless.

 

[Kaliaa]

My confessor told me when I mentioned this to him that I should be glad they are frequently the same. He also told me not to get frustrated that it happens.

At least I haven’t opened any new can’s of worms…

Don’t worry about it, priests very are used to it. Just keep going.

 

[Marie16]

Yes, I get very discouraged by confession. I have only been about four times (not because I didn’t need to go… but because I was worried about going) since becoming Catholic and really dread it. My last was about a month ago and I promised myself I’d start going monthly after that so I need to step it up by this weekend

Confessing the same sins isn’t something particularly bothersome to me but I haven’t been enough to notice that trend, though I get where you’re coming from. I do have significant trouble trying to figure out what is mortal and what isn’t… to the extent it has often been the barrier keeping me from confession and makes me very anxious.

I think it’s an easy sacrament to get discouraged by. I don’t have real advice about overcoming the discouragement because I haven’t yet. Mentioning it at the beginning of my last confession seemed to help and the priest was very kind and patient.

 

[Francis]

I too was discouraged for the same,my repetitive sins and still at times,to the extent, i said to the priest ,am sorry i keep repeating the same things again and again the same sins,his answer surprised me ,he said keep on confessing again and again only then you can come out of your sins, other wise how can you ? ,i was very happy about it,but now a days am getting good scoldings from priests, i couldn’t accept it immediately, but later i realized ,i guess i needed it,for my good of my soul ,and took a strong decision to avoid the mere occasions of sins,rather than ,inviting the devil and later battling with it in vain ,when i can avoid it altogether lets be wise.

 

[RealisticCatholic]

Good scoldings from priest? That doesn’t sound very helpful!

 

[Francis]

yes indeed ,because i keep going frequently for confessions,had to go to different churches,there is no point in justifying ourselves but rather humbly take responsibility for our sins accept them,Jesus see’s the heart and the effort,we put in, and our desire to come out of our sins.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

It can be very frustrating to confess the same sins over and over again. I recommend persevering in confessing regularly and thanking God that you aren’t compounding the problem by committing new sins.

 

[Francis]

thanking God that you aren’t compounding the problem by committing new sins.

one priest said the same, is it enough or do you want to try new ones ,Jesus showed you so much mercy, why don’t you show mercy to Jesus was his reply

 

[Bluebright]

I had to post this when I read your message as Fr Mike actually seems to think its a good think to only have the same problems all over again rather than new problems… I actually tend to agree. I for one also confess the same sins, and ask for the same graces, I see God giving me help… then I like the weak feeble human I am fall again and do some foolish thing. Then God, being perfectly merciful, gives me mercy again and I try again, it’s a bit like a child learning to walk or so I think. Anyway, the Christian virtue of hope lives on that we keep on and on practicing the virtue. I dont think it is the success so much that God wants as much as the trying, or at least that is what we read in the gospels. Keep on and on trying. The good fight til the end as St Paul puts it. Does it really matter how many times we fall? as long as we ask for mercy each and every time… God is that good and that merciful.

Anyway here is the video

 

[Cor_ad_Cor]

I’ve had a priest tell me our spiritual life is like a workout routine. You don’t just wake up one day and run a marathon; you train for it. Likewise, you need to frequent confession, daily prayer, and (at minimum) weekly Mass to build your spiritual endurance. The confession of the same sins is so very common. The goal isn’t to just quit cold turkey (although that would be great), but because for many of us, our sins are ingrained/habitual behaviors and allurements, it takes quite a bit of effort and practice (and slip ups) to make progress.

They say it takes repetition of 7 rounds to set a new habit but more than 20 times that to break a bad habit. Confession gives us the grace and benchmarks to keep going…

 

[Brendan_64]

I am discouraged when I find myself confessing the same things, especially when I end up going every two weeks or so.

I think that many of us end up confessing the same sins over and over. We all have our own particular weaknesses and it can take a long time to crack these regular sins, but regular Confession and resolve and you should eventually crack these sins (and then other habitual sins will take their place and the battle continues). Keep going to regular Confession, as you are doing and keep confessing these same sins untill you beat them

 

[LilyM]

I heard a priest a while ago compare confession to a shopping list - our household needs tend to be the same from week to week and month to month, so our shopping lists tend to be the same or similar most times we go shopping.

Likewise with confession - our faults and failings, and the graces we need, tend not to vary that much. When you think about it, we all tend to be creatures of habit in a lot of ways, it is unsurprising that we would be largely habitual in our sins also.

 

[BoomBoomMancini]

It can be very frustrating to confess the same sins over and over again. I recommend persevering in confessing regularly and thanking God that you aren’t compounding the problem by committing new sins.

This is true, although I think that with habitual sin there is a danger of focusing on it so exclusively that you forget about everything else. Your entire moral life becomes “don’t do X” and you think you’re doing great if you haven’t done X, even if you’re also committing Y and Z. It can become a “missing the forest for the trees” type problem.

Anyway, OP, I think the best thing is to keep going, but don’t become overly technical. Remember that this is ultimately about you being in the right relation to God. God is not a mindless bureaucrat or robot. He sees your continual efforts and I’m sure He recognizes that you’re trying to walk towards him, even if you’re stumbling as you do it.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

This is true, although I think that with habitual sin there is a danger of focusing on it so exclusively that you forget about everything else. Your entire moral life becomes “don’t do X” and you think you’re doing great if you haven’t done X, even if you’re also committing Y and Z. It can become a “missing the forest for the trees” type problem.

It can be, I suppose, if one obsesses about it. A good regular confessor can help to avoid this situation.