Disliking myself

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seanom

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Hello recently I have begun to really dislike myself and be very tough on myself. I am often haunted at my sinfulness ( I’m not in any serious since Thanks be to God!). I just don’t feel good about myself, I pray alot and am very passionate about my faith, but often I feel like an inner voice trying to tell me, you’re a hyprocrite and a terrible person, I often feel like a weirdo because well no-one my age really is interested in God and spiritual matters, I don’t know what to do, I feel terrible about myself because I love to visit Jesus in the blessed sacrament and spend many hours in prayer, any advice??
 
This sounds like it may be OCD of the spiritual type. You may want to join the OCD / scrupulosity group, which is a very active group on the Catholic Answers Forum.

See if this fits you… I am praying for you!

Prayer for the Scrupulous
I behold the Christ in you.
I place you lovingly in the care of the Father.
I release you from all anxiety and concern.
I see you as God sees you, a spiritual person,

created in the image of God,
endowed with qualities and abilities that make you needed,
and important–not only to me but to God and His plan.
I believe that you have the understanding you need to choose life.
I bless you.
I have faith in you.
I behold Jesus in you.
Words of Wisdom
Acquire the habit of speaking to God as if you were alone with God. Speak with familiarity and confidence as to your dearest and most loving friend. Speak of your life, your plans, your troubles, your joys, your fears. In return, God will speak to you–not that you will hear audible words in your ears, but words that you will clearly understand in your heart. These may be feelings of peace, hope, interior joy, or sorrow for sin…gentle knockings at the door of your heart.
St. Alphonsus Liguori​
Dear Lord, be with us and guide us each day. Let us hear your voice as we use our talents to share your word with others. Give us the love and wisdom necessary to strengthen our relationships as we strive to serve you in our daily lives. Amen.
 
Keep praying and visiting Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. Entrust yourself to Our Lady by way of the Holy Rosary. That “inner voice” you hear could be something which is not of God, trying to stall your efforts at seeking the Lord and the great graces he is offering you. Ask God for the grace to see yourself as he sees you, as you truly are, and to humbly accept yourself and be at peace.

-ACEGC
 
I think it’s good to be somewhat hard on yourself because this pushes you to be more holy. However you also must remember that God loves you! Hope springs eternal. Just reprimand yourself when you sin or disappoint God, say you’re sorry to God, go to confession, and recieve His grace into your heart. You are precious!

God bless.
Sarah
 
seanom said:
Hello recently I have begun to really dislike myself and be very tough on myself. I am often haunted at my sinfulness ( I’m not in any serious since Thanks be to God!). I just don’t feel good about myself, I pray alot and am very passionate about my faith, but often I feel like an inner voice trying to tell me, you’re a hyprocrite and a terrible person, I often feel like a weirdo because well no-one my age really is interested in God and spiritual matters, I don’t know what to do, I feel terrible about myself because I love to visit Jesus in the blessed sacrament and spend many hours in prayer, any advice??
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But dear one - you ARE a weirdo…We ALL are in the eyes of the world. 👍 This is not something to be concerned about.
To paraphrase an old adage, Do you want to look weird to the world by conforming to God or do you want to look weird to God by conforming to the world? 🤷

This sounds more like the devil attacking you and trying to get you doubt and despair.
Saintly people ARE “haunted” by their sinfulness.
The fact that you recognize that you are not in any serious sin points away from this springing from scrupulosity though.

For anything more specific - I suggest you talk to your confessor or spiritual adviser (pastor).
In the meantime - just keep on keepin’ on. God Loves you - Jesus and Mary are near - and any time you get to feeling “down” on yourself, Just say, “Get behind me Satan”, and pray an our father.

Peace
James
 
seanom said:
Hello recently I have begun to really dislike myself and be very tough on myself. I am often haunted at my sinfulness ( I’m not in any serious since Thanks be to God!). I just don’t feel good about myself, I pray alot and am very passionate about my faith, but often I feel like an inner voice trying to tell me, you’re a hyprocrite and a terrible person, I often feel like a weirdo because well no-one my age really is interested in God and spiritual matters, I don’t know what to do, I feel terrible about myself because I love to visit Jesus in the blessed sacrament and spend many hours in prayer, any advice??
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We are hypocrites and terrible people: it’s part of the human condition called sinfulness.😦 We have a cure - baptism, confession and the Eucharist!

You are a weirdo - get over it and welcome to the club!👍

Talk to your priest - if you are single (I’m presuming you are a male called Sean) perhaps you have a vocation to the priesthood.
 
join the club. its tough at times I know.

Is there a priest there you can open up to? I don’t mean in confession but a private chat. Its amazing how being simply open with a priest can help.It don’t matter if you don’t know how to start or what exactly to say. Just let God be your guide. If nothing else print off what you wrote here and show it to him. I experience mild s.a.d and have unwanted thoughts etc. Okay I’ve had CBT over the last year which will have helped me to talk that bit more to the priest. He new (July) and one sunday I knew I needed to share. I rang him and arranged a time because I am not good with phones.

Yes the talk was very hard and good to share though I admitt I didn’t walk away exactly happy. Far from happy but he knew. I wasn’t upset with him, but just where I was at in myself, at the time. but the things that got said and between us the talk has produced some real fruit and also now got an understanding with him. I know he is ‘there’. And yes I was upon refelction typically getting stuck in sentences etc but he gave me the space to be just me and I realised it didn’t matter that it my words didn’t exactly form good sentences etc.

It is good that you can share here but it be even better if you had someone close to home like a priest to share and continue to be able to share when its difficult.
 
Satan loves to tempt some people by thoughts of unworthiness to make our ministry less effective and make us discouraged enough to give up. He will remind us of past sins that have been confessed and get us to doubt the mercy of God; ie, whether God has really forgiven us. He will tempt us with thoughts of being unlovable to keep us focused on our pain instead of on loving others.
The closer we grow to God, the more likely these temptations will come. If Satan can’t get you to commit serious sin, he will resort to other temptations to disarm us.

I am not saying that this is what is happening with you. I just want you to know it is possible. The way to find out if this is the case, just say a prayer to tell Satan you are aware of his tricks and you refuse to fall for them because you are protected by the armor of God. (Ephesians 6:10-18). If you feel better after this, that is a sign that you are on the right track, so keep doing it every time the temptation comes back.
Do the opposite of what the temptation is. Ask the saints to pray for you because they are on duty 24/7. Stay close to the sacraments. That always helps.
 
thats true, the closer we are to God it can often feel harder and that becomes part of the problem. But there are people around you willing to help you and help you stay close to God for he is our Saviour.

the secret or my secret is recognising my thoughts and feelings and distract myself. Not always possible to do but that is how I get by. Getting by is the best term for it but even when you think you aint got friends. People are there and yes, sadly we have to put the effort in to make it different. No one can wave the wand for us-I wish though we can lean on! people and God. There are times when its just too much but we carry on. Have you tried working Psalm 23. Not praying as such but really working it.
 
seanom said:
Hello recently I have begun to really dislike myself and be very tough on myself. I am often haunted at my sinfulness ( I’m not in any serious since Thanks be to God!). I just don’t feel good about myself, I pray alot and am very passionate about my faith, but often I feel like an inner voice trying to tell me, you’re a hyprocrite and a terrible person, I often feel like a weirdo because well no-one my age really is interested in God and spiritual matters, I don’t know what to do, I feel terrible about myself because I love to visit Jesus in the blessed sacrament and spend many hours in prayer, any advice??
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One place to start might be trying to find a name for the spirit in question.

That inner voice you are hearing are the combined voices of every human being on the planet, past present, and future, who under the influence of satan and based on running divine knowledge from the tree through human brains, chant “guilty” in near unity.

If you want to connect better with others who don’t want to hear about God, it’s easy. If they don’t want to come to your living room, go to theirs. Or their kitchen, or their bedroom, wherever they are. The Good Shepherd leaves the flock to find the lost sheep.

Now, I’m not talking about geography here. I’m talking about the “living room” that is your comfort zone. The kitchen might be an anxiety zone or edification center, the bedroom peace and serenity.

St. Paul talks about evangelizing people with different beliefs than him:

1 Cor 9:19-23
Although I am free in regard to all, I have made myself a slave to all so as to win over as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew to win over Jews; to those under the law I became like one under the law—though I myself am not under the law—to win over those under the law. To those outside the law I became like one outside the law—though I am not outside God’s law but within the law of Christ—to win over those outside the law. To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some. All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it.

So is Paul a hypocrite or sinful for evidently going by the morality code of those he hung around with rather than his own? I don’t think so. I think it was just a matter of strategy. See also Romans 8.

Alan
 
Sorry Alan I suffer similiar to the original poster though a little bit more experienced in my own circumstance :and your post just totally lost me. :hug3::hug3
 
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