Dismissal of the Catechumen (Need Clarification and Advice)

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Hello all! I’m going through RCIA right now with my wife. I’ve been living as a Catholic (not communing during the Eucharist, just adoring) now for six years (I haven’t swum the tiber yet due to family issues) and am a daily mass goer and divine office prayer (not to be prideful, I’m just trying to give context). My wife has just recently been introduced to the Church. As a person of uncertain baptism I’m being dismissed with the catechumen while my wife remains. I’m concerned because she can barely make it through the mass without my guidance. I feel like I’m neglecting my duty as her husband if I leave her (she has all of the certification of baptism). Furthermore, after years of establishing my Rule and routine with near daily mass attendance it would seem counterproductive to move away from that (I certainly would be hard put to wake at 5:00 to attend morning mass only to depart before Jesus). Advice for how to handle this would be appreciated (also, if I’m being insufferably prideful, please call me out!)
Thanks!!
 
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Regardless of your education and practice, which are commendable, you are a catechumen. So you leave.

Are there other catechumens? Obviously, you wouldn’t expect others to leave while you stay in the pew.

Also, it’s not that hard to get through Mass—I’m sure your wife will be fine.
 
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There is a point to dismissing the catechumens to break open the word. With that said, I’ve always thought that one of the hallmarks of RCIA should be flexibility and attention to the needs of individuals.

Some thoughts…
  1. Why couldn’t your wife join you and the other catechumens in breaking open the word? If she finds Mass so difficult alone, this would seem to solve that particular problem.
  2. You say you are a person of uncertain baptism. Does that mean you will be conditionally baptized? If so, you should probably be treated as a candidate rather than a catechumen and not be dismissed.
  3. Even if you are a catechumen, your attendance at daily Mass would argue to me that you should stay in Mass rather than being dismissed.
Have you spoken with your RCIA director about your concerns? What was the reaction?
 
Here’s an excerpt from the web page for TeamRCIA at You are being redirected...

Keep the baptized candidates in the Mass

Here is one of the biggest confusions. Oftentimes, a Protestant who is married to a Catholic—and who has been going to Mass for years—decides he wants to become Catholic. Too often, the pour soul is stuck into the catechumenate and is then sent forth from the liturgy every Sunday without his wife. These people almost never belong in the catechumenate. Someone who has been to Sunday Mass regularly for years is catechized . They might need more catechesis, but they do not require the beginning conversion level of catechesis that the catechumens need. And since they are not in the catechumenate, these catechized Protestants would not be dismissed from Mass.
 
IBut he’s going to be baptized. He’s not a candidate; he’s a catechumen.
 
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kmolina said:
As a person of uncertain baptism I’m being dismissed with the catechumen while my wife remains.
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Non catholic here, and you lost me at this. Is this during the Eucharist? Can you clarify? Thanks.
 
OP Your wife will have a sponsor when she is received into the Catholic Church. Does she have one yet or not? IF yes, then that sponsor should be helping her with understanding Mass and other practical things. If not, ask one of the parish members to help her. Get to know people in the parish that our wife can sit next to.
 
GodSpawned said:
Non catholic here, and you lost me at this. Is this during the Eucharist? Can you clarify? Thanks.
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Catechumens (those seeking baptism) are dismissed together from Mass to go with a catechist to focus on the Liturgy of the Word in which they have participated. Once they are baptized they will also participate in the Liturgy of the Eucharist.
 
RCIA classes happen during the Eucharist? Ok, that does makes sense. Thanks for explaining.
 
You do not have to go with the catechumens during dismissal.

Talk to your pastor about it. Some options would be bring your wife to dismissal, go to another mass together for the whole mass and then go by yourself to the mass with dismissal, or don’t go with the dismissal.

Dismissal, and your participation therein, isn’t “required” in the strict sense of the word.
 
No, the classes happen at another time. The catechumens participate in “breaking open the word” as a part of the Mass (though separate from the rest of the congregation).
 
kmolina said:
Furthermore, after years of establishing my Rule and routine with near daily mass attendance it would seem counterproductive to move away from that (I certainly would be hard put to wake at 5:00 to attend morning mass only to depart before Jesus). Advice for how to handle this would be appreciated (also, if I’m being insufferably prideful, please call me out!)
Thanks!!
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But you are not dismissed from every Mass, only from one Mass on Sunday. There is no need to leave during daily Mass.
 
I would just be obedient to what is asked of you. It is the teachers responsibility to make sure your wife knows what is going on at Mass. You can give her additional instructions at home. Don’t feel like you are not fulfilling a duty. The rcia team is not asking for you to jump through hoops. It is very common for non Baptized to be dismissed in the middle of Mass for more instruction on the readings. Also, it is not hard to find a guide to Mass online. I have gone to Mass with people who have not been to Mass in years and they seemed fine. I even survived my first Mass as a kid when I was a Protestant still. Your wife is a grown adult, she should be able to pick up on what is going on. Have some faith in her.

I would just be obedient. I went to Mass for a year before I even entered rcia and I waited about two years to be able to partake in communion. You have waited what? 5 or 6 years? What is 6 more months? I assume rcia is too elementary for you too. Well, it was for me too. Not being arrogant, it just was. Just be patient and do what you are told.
 
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GodSpawned said:
RCIA classes happen during the Eucharist? Ok, that does makes sense. Thanks for explaining.
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No.

Rcia normally is one day of the week and The catechumens (non Baptized) are asked to go to Mass at a certain time and just before the beginning of The liturgy of the Eucharist the catechumens are dismissed to receive further instructions on the Bible readings they just heard at Mass. This was done in The Early Church and we still do it today.

However, programs vary. Rcia at my parish has their class on Sunday and then they all go to Mass together. The Gospel reading is explained during the class that morning so the catechumens are not dismissed. But when I was Baptized 5 years ago rcia was on Wednesday nights, we attended 11:00am Mass together on Sunday and we’re dismissed before The liturgy of The Eucharist.
 
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When I went through RCIA, there were two of us candidates, and we were dismissed along with the catechumens.
 
In our parish, they are not dismissed. As a pp said. people in RCIA may have been going to Mass for years already. And it would mean splitting up families and child care in some instances. It also means the catechists committing to a certain Mass if the RCIA people were sent out for a Bible session, which might interfere with other commitments.
 
Thanks for all the responses guys. I was under the impression that I was supposed to be dismissed from every mass till my baptism. Since that isn’t a case I think its more of a humility thing. I just need to learn to be more humble even though I feel the process is too elementary for me.
 
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