Disobedience towards parents

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misstherese

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So I did a really bad thing that I feel kind of bad about now…basically I was with my dad, applying for a job, and I got my application, went back to the car and decided to wait until I got home to fill it out. Well my dad told me that I had to fill it out right then and there in the car. I got angry at him because I had wanted to go home and fill it out and do it correctly and not rush. I stubbornly told him “no” and kept being stubborn about it until he got angry and threw the application down and pulled out of the parking lot. I felt like I was being awfully mean toward him…the question is, does this constitute a mortal sin?
 
I can’t tell you whether you committed a mortal sin. That is a highly individual and subjective circumstance. You know the requirements for mortal sin are grave matter, knowledge, and consent. Did you believe what you were doing was grave matter while you were doing it? If you answer “no” or “unsure” to that then it probably wasn’t a mortal sin. But the best thing to do is go to confession soon and ask the priest about it.
 
Your father was being unreasonable and impatient. You were being the prudent one. You have nothing to confess and nothing to feel guilty about.

What you did was be assertive, and it was a good opportunity for you to learn to do this with your father. The fact he threw the application down indicates he has poor impulse control, and your patience with respect to filling out the application may have taught him the importance of good planning and prudence. Let it go. Do not mention it. If he brings it up, state “I was being thoughtful and prudent.” Let him argue, but keep saying the same sentence. This is called the broken record technique. You need this in your arsenal when dealing with difficult people.

Go to the library and take out books on how to deal with difficult people.
 
Your motivation was to make a good job application rather than being disobedient for the sake of it so I would say no.
 
No I don’t think so. It wasn’t nice and was a venial sin IMO.
Tell your dad you are sorry. Try to be a more reasonable person who can
explain without raising your voice. It is hard but it is something you need to learn how to do.
Anger is the problem. If you dad will not listen, then try to do it his way because he is your dad. I think taking it home was a reasonable thing to want to do.
 
I have parents and I have children.

In your father’s defense, it can be just as hard learning to be the parent of an adult as it is for you to learn to be adult! When I was growing up, I just thought my parents knew all this stuff, but since I was the oldest, it was new for them too.

Your father may not have understood that you wanted to be able to take your time and fill the form out correctly and you may not have been able to express that so he could understand.

Since you can’t change how he behaves, I second the idea of getting those books from the library. They will be helpful in general as you will probably run into many moments in life when conflict shows up like this.

Also, most job applications that you fill out on paper ask for the same information. If you take some time to gather all that information, you can carry it with you, along with a pen, and fill out applications right then and there. (If you don’t know your Social Security number, write it in code.)

If the form asks for unusual information, just tell the person that you can fill most of it out, but you need to find out the one new thing, and don’t worry about it. Also, quite a few employees will say to fill the form out online.
 
Oops, I forgot to say, when anyone starts getting mad at you, say a little prayer for them. It takes a while to remember to do this, but is very helpful to me when I do it!
 
misstherese said:
basically I was with my dad, applying for a job,
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A couple questions missterese. Why were you with your dad while doing this? Was he doing you a favor?

Did you ask him why he wanted you to fill it out right then and there? Or did you just say no and start to argue about it?

I think it was on you to bend to him instead of the other way around.
 
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