Disobeying misunderstood/troubled parent a sin?

[PMV]

Let’s say my mother wants me to shave only once a week and does not want me to wear an undershirt; if I shaved much more then once a week and wore undershirts behind her back, would I be committing sin? I think it’s important to include that her reasons for attemting to not allow me from doing these things are due to either mental trouble or deliberate action to lower my self-esteem.

Is it a sin to disobey your parents is the commands they give you are due to misunderstanding and/or deleberate action against your well-being?

If I went to Confession with the intention of later fibbing to her about these sort of things, would the Confession be valid?

I’m sure I asked a question similiar to this before, but this is more specific of a situation.

 

[Loren_1of6]

There is a difference between obedience and honor. Dishonoring your parents is a sin. Disobeying your parents can be a sin.

The sacrament of Reconciliation is dependent on your intention to, with God’s help, “go and sin no more.” So if you are planning on committing a sin when you leave the confessional, you are not absolved. But that would be a great time to talk this problem over with a priest.

 

[PMV]

Loren 1of6:

There is a difference between obedience and honor. Dishonoring your parents is a sin. Disobeying your parents can be a sin.

The sacrament of Reconciliation is dependent on your intention to, with God’s help, “go and sin no more.” So if you are planning on committing a sin when you leave the confessional, you are not absolved. But that would be a great time to talk this problem over with a priest.

I was not trying to dishonor my mother. I do not want to intend on committing a sin when I leave the confessional; that’s why I’m asking whether this is a sin or not.

 

[mosher]

No because disobedience can only come from legitimate authority. If the dictums coming from your parent are irrational or even potentially harmful you are not under obligation to follow.

 

[Lazerlike42]

If your mother is telling you to do thing harmful to yourself or things that are not reasonable then it is not a sin to disobey her. You must give her whatever respect you can that falls short of this, but you do not need to listen to illegitimate commands. For instance, say that your mother tells you that you must not do your homework. Should you listen? No, you should not.

If your mother does have problems, then you must also try to have compassion on her. You must pray for her (not just for her to stop treating you badly but also for her general good and well being and her to overcome her problems) and you must try to make her comfortable if you can. What I mean by saying make her comfortable is that you should do your best to do what she wants of you so long as you are not harming yourself or whatnot. This may sometimes be hard, sometimes not.

It is possible that you might simply not wear undershirts if this will make her happy but will not be a big problem for you. If there is a reason that you actually do need or want to wear them, then of course do so. But if it would not harm your life greatly to do so, this is something you could consider doing for her. You don’t have to by any means however. In short, do what you can to keep yourself safe from harm from her, but also do your best to help her and help her through any problems she has. This can become very stressful and difficult, and if so please do consult a priest or someone you trust to help you through it.

 

[PMV]

I have had good responses here. When I looked in the Catechism, I found the direct answer;

2217 As long as a child lives at home with his parents, the child should obey his parents in all that they ask of him **when it is for his good or that of the family.

**I am impressed of the justice that truly exists.