Dispensation - can you get one?

[SummerSmiles]

Here is the big issue in regards to talking to our priest. Some close friends of ours had a ton on their plate (I mean real issues…as in legal and medical with could result in death of the mother). The husband went to our pastor and was just so upset because he didn’t know what to do and was considering a vasectomy. Our pastor basically informed him that “he knew what he needed to do then”. So he got a vasectomy.

I know my husband and I can go in and plead our case and basically wiggle our way into getting him to say what we want.

But, that’s not what we want.

Does that make sense?

Yes, it’s very unfortunate, but some priests will “allow” people to get sterilized for those reasons. They are doing a great disservice to their flock by advising this. It goes completely against church teaching to advise a voluntary sterilization. These priests are separating these people from God’s will for married couples. Married couples don’t have to continue having children if they have serious reasons to avoid, but they still must follow God’s law.

 

[Ellyakamommy]

It sounds like you could use some respite from your responsibilities. Being a parent is tough, especially when the children are growing and needing more rather than less care.

You, me, and CAF know that sterilization is not the answer.

Rather than thinking about permanent measures in regard to your fertility, you could perhaps reconsider a few of your other responsibilties. It may be time to evaluate how homeschooling is working for you and look into other options. Perhaps a different kind of school (public or parochial) vs. looking into a cirruculum that is less demanding of you, or a co-op or …? It also soundsl ike you could use more help and support for your son with autism. Can Early Intervention, insurance, or a support group provide additional assistance or point you in a direction where you can find more help? Or simply to call in a few favors so you have a bit more space to just be. I can see where it wouldn’t be relevant to your original question so wouldn’t be mentioned, but are you part of any support groups/parent groups for other Catholic moms, parents of children with autism, SAHM etc so you have more support in place?

Also, can you and DH recommit to fostering your relationship without sex? Approach your priest to ask for financial assistance in completing the coursework to learn a new NFP method or assistance for respite care with your son with special needs?

I guess in short my advice is change what you can–and get creative in figuring out how to make it happen, and offer up the rest–rather than waste your talents, abilities, and graces wishing for a solution that genuinely isn’t one.

I am praying for you and your family