Dispensation for missing Mass

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Okay, I learned that I have to bring my elderly parents from Alaska back down to Oregon. The Alaska Highway runs through some of the most remote areas in North America, most of the 2800 mile trip being in unpopulated areas.

The reason for the trip is their health and there is some urgency.

It seems to me that there is a good chance that I will miss Sunday Mass next week. While I will, of course, hope to find one, I may not be able to.

So I went to confession yesterday and received an special dispensation from the priest for next Sunday Mass, but only on the condition that I make an honest and reasonable search for one.

Thoughts, anyone?
 
Sounds absolutely reasonable to me.

Just this weekend we drove home from our vacation 1,200 miles away, and nearly missed mass because of a foul-up on my part with mass times and directions to the church I had found on the Internet. It was a Sunday evening mass, and had we missed it, I highly doubt we would have found another. We knew we had to do whatever we reasonably could to get to mass, but if we had missed it, I am quite certain our eternal destiny would not have been in jeopardy.
 
Sounds reasonable to me too. You can use the Masstimes.org website and see what turns up. No need to wait until you are actually driving to see if a Catholic Church appears by the side of the road. If you don’t find one (and it is very possible you won’t), you already have checked with your priest.

I will say a prayer for your parents.
 
So what in your minds constitutes an honest and reasonable effort? Let’s imagine that one starts to drive at 7 AM each day and one ends up in a town on Saturday evening and Mass the next day is at Noon. Would it be reasonable in your minds to set off at 7 AM for the next segment of the trip and thereby miss Mass?
 
rwoehmke said:
So what in your minds constitutes an honest and reasonable effort? Let’s imagine that one starts to drive at 7 AM each day and one ends up in a town on Saturday evening and Mass the next day is at Noon. Would it be reasonable in your minds to set off at 7 AM for the next segment of the trip and thereby miss Mass?
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To answer your question directly, no, I do not think that would be reasonable. The five hours of additional travel do not justify missing Mass. On the other hand, if information about Mass times for parishes along the way is not up to date, I may find myself showing up at a parish after Mass is over or at a closed or moved parish. Another very real possibility is that the church at a mission parish which only has Mass once a month.

I may also have to deal with health issues regarding my elderly mother and need to care for her which may prevent me from attending Mass.

(It looks like my dad will have to fly down as his condition has worsened.)

As this is kind of a last-minute thing, I am still in the planning stages.

Here is what I have done as part of my “honest and reasonable effort”.

I have used Google Maps to plot out my route. I have estimated how much driving I can do each day. Knowing the day of my departure, I estimate that I will be near Prince Rupert or Quesnel BC by Saturday night.

Armed with this information, I used www.MassTimes.org to locate a couple of likely parishes and get directions to them from the highway I will be on. I have also gotten the Mass times.

I hope the information is up to date. Some of it is a couple of years old, but I think it is likely that we will able to make either the Saturday vigil Mass in Prince Rupert or the Sunday morning Mass in Quesnel. I have found a couple of options in the even one does not pan out.

I think this qualifies as an honest and reasonable effort as I cannot think of a better way to do this.

Also, thank you all for your prayers. 🙂
 
rwoehmke said:
So what in your minds constitutes an honest and reasonable effort? Let’s imagine that one starts to drive at 7 AM each day and one ends up in a town on Saturday evening and Mass the next day is at Noon. Would it be reasonable in your minds to set off at 7 AM for the next segment of the trip and thereby miss Mass?IMHO and for what it is worth yes it would be reasonable to leave if it takes you the full driving time to get to the next city.
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OTOH if you can make the trip reasonably in fewer hours (it might be easier on your elderly parents) then no, you have no excuse tp miss Mass if the only reason is that you want to drive longer.

Many variables come into play here. Parents health, number of comfort stops, number of towns, safe places to stay and driving fatique. Remember God is driving with you and your family and time out for God is always a good thing.😃
 
KathleenElsie said:
OTOH if you can make the trip reasonably in fewer hours (it might be easier on your elderly parents) then no, you have no excuse tp miss Mass if the only reason is that you want to drive longer.
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So your not from these part then, eh? I believe RPP is talking about the Alcan highway, which from Dawson Creek BC to Alaska is over 1,500 miles. This a trip that takes a few days. The road is now paved the whole way. and there are a more hotels and gas stations than there used to be, but good luck finding a church. If you’re going in the summer, take plenty of mosquito repellent.
 
rpp said:
Armed with this information, I used www.MassTimes.org to locate a couple of likely parishes and get directions to them from the highway I will be on. I have also gotten the Mass times.
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Masstimes.org is a wonderful resource for this kind of situation, but I would highly recommend that you not absolutely rely on the times they post. Verify the times by personally calling the parish you’ve chosen before setting your plans in stone. This has bitten me in the past.
 
StCsDavid said:
So your not from these part then, eh? I believe RPP is talking about the Alcan highway, which from Dawson Creek BC to Alaska is over 1,500 miles. This a trip that takes a few days. The road is now paved the whole way. and there are a more hotels and gas stations than there used to be, but good luck finding a church. If you’re going in the summer, take plenty of mosquito repellent.
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Want to get there some day.😃 Might even want to live there if I could find a remote place to bring our family and have a TLM near. 😃 😃 I do understand mosquito repellent we were raided in south Florida. But I really dislike the HOT weather.

Have a good and safe trip. Praying for you and your family.
 
StCsDavid said:
So your not from these part then, eh? I believe RPP is talking about the Alcan highway, which from Dawson Creek BC to Alaska is over 1,500 miles. This a trip that takes a few days. The road is now paved the whole way. and there are a more hotels and gas stations than there used to be, but good luck finding a church. If you’re going in the summer, take plenty of mosquito repellent.
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From Anchorage to my home town, it is nearly 2600 miles. Literally 97% of the people are either the first 30 miles from Anchorage or the last 300 miles near my home. The other 2170 miles is very sparsely populated.

The one thing in my favor seems to be that most of the little towns along the way have at least a mission parish. I think I should be okay.
 
In the end, you need to use common sense.

Just for giggles, let’s suppose that Christ actually was going to physically appear at the church or mission that you might be near. Would that make a difference?

Since he is going to be there, Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist… you get the drift.

As to timing, yes, it is important that you get the trip over as soon as possible.

On the other hand, the mind can comprehend only as much as the rear can endure; your parents might be very relieved to not be cooped up in a vehicle non-stop to home; a break of some hours or even a day might be well worth the time spent. Only you (and they) can really tell.

The Church allows one to miss Mass if one is needede to take care of a sick relative. the necessity of doing so is ultimately between you and God as to what “reasonable effort” means.

Watch out for moose, caribou, deer, bears, and anything else that might be bigger than, say, a small dog; they tend to play havoc with grills, fenders and radiators.
 
rpp said:
Okay, I learned that I have to bring my elderly parents from Alaska back down to Oregon. The Alaska Highway runs through some of the most remote areas in North America, most of the 2800 mile trip being in unpopulated areas.

The reason for the trip is their health and there is some urgency.

It seems to me that there is a good chance that I will miss Sunday Mass next week. While I will, of course, hope to find one, I may not be able to.

So I went to confession yesterday and received an special dispensation from the priest for next Sunday Mass, but only on the condition that I make an honest and reasonable search for one.

Thoughts, anyone?
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Hmmm! I guess I’d have to say that you have a dispensation as long as you make a resonable, honest search for a Church in the area. I don’t know why there’s any question on this.
 
Another issue to consider in your “reasonable attempt”…if your family is of poor enough health to have to make this move…what would the added stress of finding a strange parish and attending mass do to them…or might it even help them?
 
I made it back Sunday afternoon! I did the whole drive from Alaska to my home in Oregon in 56 hours! My mother was a real trooper. She kept urging me on.

We were both exhausted when we finally got home.

My parish has a 5:00 PM Mass that I was planning to go to. I went to confession at 4:00 before Mass and the priest told me to go home. Apparently my exhaustion was obvious even in the confessional.

Well, at least I tried.

I did have to dodge one moose on the road. I also passed a grizzly bear that was so big it looked like a small SUV with legs!

Thank you all for your prayers and advice.
 
How are your mom and dad doing? Keeping them in thoughts and prayers.
 
KathleenElsie said:
How are your mom and dad doing? Keeping them in thoughts and prayers.
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Thank you for asking, Kathleen.

My mother is doing great. She was a real trooper on the trip and was invigorated by it.

My father is a different story.

My dad is back in the hospital, he is getting his medicine stabilized. He was a heavy smoker for more than 70 years and his lung capacity has deteriorated quite rapidly. He quite smoking 2 weeks ago when he learned he only has about 15% lung capacity. Sadly, he has kept that completely to himself.

What I did not notice (the last time I visited them was 2 years ago) is that he had lost an extraordinary amount of weight. My father gets out of breath when he eats. So he quit eating! :eek: He has lost about 80 pounds in the last 3 years! So now my formerly 5’ 11", 180 pound father is now 5’ 7", stooped and 100 pounds.

His heart attack 3 weeks ago was caused not by heart disease but malnutrition and starvation. So now the real job is to get him to eat. The doctors are literally feeding him butter and fat to get some weight on him.

Any prayers would be greatly appreciated.
 
Will keep you all in our prayers. We have a book that we write prayer reminders in.🙂
 
God is not black and white. He understands what is in your heart and your responsibility. rrp, you will be fine. You may have already made the trip by now. I have just read the thread.

Sometimes people get so hooked up on right and wrong and forget that there is some gray areas. God has the final say. Do not lose sleep on this one.
 
Make sure it’s ok with his doctors and then get him to drink ENSURE. My brother-in-law has started drinking this during his chemotherapy… They say it taste pretty good and it has a lot of calories…

I’ll keep praying for you and your parents…Pam
 
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