Dispensation of Marriage

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Maria81

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I’m a little confused when it comes to this topic. I was married in a civil union sometime in 2003. When I married I was not a catholic never baptized under any religion. I went on and got a divorce one year later.
I then met a wonderful man who was born Catholic (baptized, communion and confirmed). So, I went on and took RCIA classes and received my sacraments. Now, 15 years later and 2 kids later (who are both baptized and did their communion in the catholic church) we decided that we want to get married in a catholic church, do I need to do a dispensation of marriage from my civil non catholic marriage???
 
Your parish priest will be infinitely more helpful than any of the armchair canon lawyers here on CAF, Ask a priest.

And, if others do answer in their thread, take it all with a grain of salt- We have 1 confirmed canon lawyer here on CAF, and he does not comment on actual cases, so all opinions expressed here will be that of amateurs.
 
@Maria81

Additionally, what prevented the Catholic marriage until now? If you went through RCIA, why weren’t you married in the Church?
 
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Please consult a priest. It’s the best advice anyone can give you.
 
Thank you for your advice. We are actually not married at all. I didn’t want a big wedding and would’ve been content with just doing a civil ceremony but he wants to do the whole big church wedding. I know 15 years seems like a long time to be with someone without getting married but we were very young and wanted to wait.
 
Well, first of all, you’ll want to go to Confession, since you’ve been living with this man for 15 years and have had 2 children with him…
 
I’m really confused as to how you could think that cohabitation and having children together would be legitimate, especially after going through RCIA…
 
True, true.

@Maria81 I don’t mean to attack you. I’m sorry if I came across as such 🙂
 
I agree.

You’ll want to make all this right ASAP. That includes confessing all this and doing whatever to takes to make it right.

You need to contact a priest today if you can.
 
Thanks ya’ll, we are more than willing to do whatever it takes to make things right.
 
As Maximilian said, you will want to schedule an appointment with your priest to discuss all of this. A lot depends on the details, and I wouldn’t necessarily advocate divulging a lot of details here. 😉 Suffice it to say, there are avenues to pursue to make sure that you are doing everything the right way. That begins with a meeting with your priest.

God bless!
 
Everyone seems to ignore the fact that you weren’t Catholic at the time of your marriage. That may complicate matters. A priest will be able to advise you.
 
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I was not catholic at the time of my first marriage. I am now a catholic who is engaged to a catholic. We are not yet married. That is why I was questioning if I would need a dispensation of marriage from my previous civil union.
 
Yes, your first marriage probably needs to be examined before you can marry in the Church, if the first husband is still alive. Please speak to your pastor, who can advise you.

Also, remember that the choice is not between a civil marriage, and a big church wedding, whatever that means. One can have a very simple valid wedding in church with just two witnesses, if that is what you want.
 
I think the word you’re looking for is annulment, not dispensation.

It’s likely that you will need to have your marriage examined to find out if it was valid or not. The marriage of two non-Catholics is presumed valid, regardless of where it took place, as long as there was nothing to prevent it (an impediment) like a previous marriage or a very close kinship.
 
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