Displaying your values/religion/poitical affiliation vs family safety

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**Just reading some stuff over in the political forum about yard signs being stolen, cars being keyed, and bumper stickers being peeled off it got me wondering what is prudent?

I have had this discussion before with my hubby about pro-life issues. We all know that pro-choice/pro-life issues can get very heated and there can be violence or hate directed at the pro-life sides… so, while we will always be pro-life and do our part to help in whatever way we can at any given point in our lives, I am not sure it is prudent to display that stance indiscriminately.

Same goes for any topic that could have violence or mischief directed at my family. Politics, religion etc.

So, how do we decide what is prudent or what is plain cowardice?

My instinct is to protect my daughter. She is 2. If I put a controversial bumper sticker on my car and open her up to hostility, is that ok in the name of what is right?

So how do you as parents make these choices?**

 

[ack]

Hmm…is this a problem where you live, or do you think that the current divisiveness is an American phenomenon?

 

[_Jenn]

I have never, nor will I ever, display signs, bumper stickers, etc. as far as political/personal/religious beliefs go.

I know who I am, what I stand for, as do my family and very close friends. And most importantly, far moreso than any family or friends, God knows who I am and what I stand for. I don’t need to parade it around or display it.

It’s just who I am though; I can’t stand when I see those “My child is an honor student at _______ School.” Just seems so boastful and arrogant to me. I’ll be proud if I ever (my son is only 1st grade) receive one, but it’ll go in a scrapbook, not on my car. The whole world doesn’t need to know every little thing about me.

I don’t think it’s cowardice to not display things. I also don’t think it’s necessary.

 

[apricot_yogurt]

I know what you mean. I confessed recently, that I noticed myself hiding certain relgious/pro-life items when certain people visit, or have a ride in my car. Interestingly Father reasurred me that sometimes it is fine to do this if such items would be off-putting for that person, or make you look smug and holier-than thou.

 

[mizznicole]

We have bumper stickers on our car for the election. Political speech is a guaranteed right in this country, at least (not so much in Canada…). As long as they are not shooting at us for expressing our views, I’ll continue to exercise my rights - not just because they are my rights, but because I am convinced that my candidate will promote the common good. And even if they were shooting at us, there are times when the good of the country is higher than the good of the family. (For example, if you were living in an evil regime and were working for justice.)

 

[IrishAm]

I don’t choose to make even my core beliefs public knowledge to any crackpot who may be driving down the road with me . . .

 

[kage_ar]

Pro Life tag on my car - check

Pro Life bumper sticker - check

Crucifix displayed in my car - check

Religious items in my home, on my walls - check

Medals around my neck - check

Various religious and pro-life t-shirts - check

It warms my heart to see parents with teeny kids going to the March for Life, standing on a Life Chain, praying in front of an abortion clinic.

I have never heard of a child being harmed because parents had a pro-life sticker or Catholic item on display.

Christ told us “let your light shine before men” he talked about not hiding our light under a basket. We are to be salt and light - so, we need to shake and SHINE

 

[yessisan]

I don’t display certain things in public since I live in a really liberal area and I run the risk of having my property vandalized. I do promote it in my websites though.

Like my next door neighbors have their “vote no on prop 8” the gay marriage ban proposal, and they have gotten gangs messing with their property. I wouldn’t want that if I had a vote yes one. (BTW, I live close to SF, one of the only cities that allow gay marriage in the US - well, started to allow it since now all of California does ).

But anyway, I do display a rosary in my car and a Mommy of Angels magnet.

I have several Catholic items inside my home too. I also wear a cross medal on my neck and a rosary ring on my finger, and 2 pro-life pins on my name badge at work. One is a pin with a picture of God’s hands holding a miscarried/aborted baby in His hands and I have gotten MANY people at work comment good things about that pin. Here’s the pin with the picture.

Oh, and I also have a pro-life cell phone charm on my cell.

 

[TraderTif]

Well, I have big anti-abortion patches sewn on my purse, and I often wear anti-abortion T-shirts.

The reaction? Minimal. I really haven’t had any bad reactions to speak of. A few teenagers followed me around the mall once, and made fun of my shirt…behind my back, lol.

Several people have come up to personally thank me for wearing the shirts.

But I find myself purposefully avoiding those shirts, and turning my purse the other way in some situations. (Visiting certain family members, going to the dentist, etc.) I don’t want people to feel like I’m targeting them specifically, or that I’m trying to provoke them, you know?

I don’t have kids, so I’m not sure what I would do in that situation. I might be a bit more cautious.

 

[kage_ar]

The only negative reaction I’ve ever had was to a shirt with Mary on it - it says “Don’t Mess With My Mom - Her Son is Your God”. Guess in the Bible Belt, them’s fightin words - or at least enough to get you rude service in the gourmet store.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Hmm…is this a problem where you live, or do you think that the current divisiveness is an American phenomenon?

**
Oh, it’s here too for sure.**

And most importantly, far moreso than any family or friends, God knows who I am and what I stand for. I don’t need to parade it around or display it.

You never know what kind of positive effect can come from a few small words on a t-shirt or a bumper sticker etc… I am certainly not telling you to go ahead and paper your car with them, but they do have value. It is not about “parading around or displaying” those beliefs…it is about getting the word out, affecting hearts, and making people think.

It’s just who I am though; I can’t stand when I see those “My child is an honor student at _______ School.” Just seems so boastful and arrogant to me. I’ll be proud if I ever (my son is only 1st grade) receive one, but it’ll go in a scrapbook, not on my car. The whole world doesn’t need to know every little thing about me.

HUGE difference between “bragging” about your child (which I am not against, by the way) and making a point or stating the truth for the ignorant.

I know what you mean. I confessed recently, that I noticed myself hiding certain relgious/pro-life items when certain people visit, or have a ride in my car. Interestingly Father reasurred me that sometimes it is fine to do this if such items would be off-putting for that person, or make you look smug and holier-than thou.

**
And if we are wearing a t-shirt, sporting a bumper sticker, or displaying a sign in our yard, we can’t just put those away at will…**

We have bumper stickers on our car for the election. Political speech is a guaranteed right in this country, at least (not so much in Canada…). As long as they are not shooting at us for expressing our views, I’ll continue to exercise my rights - not just because they are my rights, but because I am convinced that my candidate will promote the common good. And even if they were shooting at us, there are times when the good of the country is higher than the good of the family. (For example, if you were living in an evil regime and were working for justice.)

**
Not sure if that is bravery or just not being prudent (hence my question). I cannot see putting my child/family in harm’s way to make a statement. To directly help someone in need, sure… but not for the sake of a slogan.**

Free speech is your right, but at what cost?

I don’t choose to make even my core beliefs public knowledge to any crackpot who may be driving down the road with me . . .

That’s kind of how I think, but am wondering if I should be more brave? At this time I feel there is a time and a place for everything… I wouldn’t give out my full name or home address at a pro-life rally, so why should I advertise it in a way that can let the “other side” know where I live?

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Pro Life tag on my car - check

Pro Life bumper sticker - check
**
potentially inflammatory**

Crucifix displayed in my car - check

Religious items in my home, on my walls - check

Medals around my neck - check

personal and not nearly as likely to incite hate or violence

Various religious and pro-life t-shirts - check

those depend

It warms my heart to see parents with teeny kids going to the March for Life, standing on a Life Chain, praying in front of an abortion clinic.

Me too. And even if they are subject to hate and insults I think the good outweighs the bad. But to have the same hate or insults flung at you while in the parking lot of the grocery store over a bumper sticker, or at the mall over a t-shirt while you have children in tow just doesn’t seem right.

I have never heard of a child being harmed because parents had a pro-life sticker or Catholic item on display.
**
Define harm… children can be scared by the angry person shouting at their parents. They can have their security threatened when their home is vandalized because of a political yard sign… not things I would want for my young child.**

Christ told us “let your light shine before men” he talked about not hiding our light under a basket. We are to be salt and light - so, we need to shake and SHINE

I have nothing against “shining”, lol. I am questioning how to prudently apply it to different stations of life. Am I the only parent that thinks that making such controversial statements in public is unnecessarily putting their children in harm’s way?

I don’t display certain things in public since I live in a really liberal area and I run the risk of having my property vandalized. I do promote it in my websites though.

I would think that you have made a prudent decision, but again, that is what I am trying to figure out. Are you a coward because you don’t want to deal with property vandalism? Or are you finding more effective ways to get your message out?

But anyway, I do display a rosary in my car and a Mommy of Angels magnet.
**
I would think that most people see those as personal items, not “in your face” statements or attacks.**

Well, I have big anti-abortion patches sewn on my purse, and I often wear anti-abortion T-shirts.

The reaction? Minimal. I really haven’t had any bad reactions to speak of. A few teenagers followed me around the mall once, and made fun of my shirt…behind my back, lol.

**If you did have negative reactions…anything from people giving you dirty looks to confronting you/insulting you or more…would you decide not to wear them to certain places?
**
Several people have come up to personally thank me for wearing the shirts.

And there is the value.

The only negative reaction I’ve ever had was to a shirt with Mary on it - it says “Don’t Mess With My Mom - Her Son is Your God”. Guess in the Bible Belt, them’s fightin words - or at least enough to get you rude service in the gourmet store.

so, if your son was still a small child or baby and the shirt did cause a hostile reaction (enough to scare him or you) would you still wear it?

 

[TraderTif]

If you did have negative reactions…anything from people giving you dirty looks to confronting you/insulting you or more…would you decide not to wear them to certain places?

Hmmm…good question. (Honestly, I’ve been surprised at the lack of outright negative reaction, because I live in a very liberal area.) I have gotten numerous dirty looks, gasps of surprise, and somebody once slammed a door in my face quite deliberately, but I don’t tend to think of those as negative reactions really.

I don’t think I would stop wearing the shirts just for that. If I felt that it was going to be a personal safety issue, I would stop. (I do only wear them when I’m with other people, because I do worry a bit.)

But I tend to take any reaction from people as a sign that I’ve made them think. Even if they get angry, it does show that they’re thinking.

I’ve been touched by the people who have thanked me for wearing the shirts. (And I’ve been slightly surprised by the fact that they’re almost all men.) The only woman (so far) who commented on my shirt thanked me profusely, and then her eyes welled up with tears and she ran off. This did cause me to pause and consider what effect my shirts might have on post-abortive parents/relatives. (I’d been worrying about this for quite some time.) But, I think that the message is too important to keep silent.

I do try to choose my shirts with care.

 

[Chovy]

I don’t have any political bumper stickers or tee-shirts right now, or pro-life ones for that matter, but I have before. I don’t avoid them due to fear or for any other real reason other than I don’t have any other sort of tee-shirts with words on them or bumper stickers or signs in my yard.

My words are a testament to my beliefs. Anyone who knows me in real life knows where I stand on all of these issues.

 

[kage_ar]

so, if your son was still a small child or baby and the shirt did cause a hostile reaction (enough to scare him or you) would you still wear it?

That reaction was snotty, no where near hostile (unless she spit on my cheese grater)

Maybe it is where we live, but, I have never experienced and I do not know anyone who has experienced someone having anyone hostile or doing something that would scare a child over something political or issues-related.

I’ve driven my car (with it’s tag) all over the middle part of the US, from New Orleans to Nashville to Louisville to Houston to Wichita - never had anyone say or do anything hostile.

If I lived somewhere where I’d be afraid to put a lawn sign out stating my political views, I’d move. I refuse to live in fear.

 

[jwashu]

Pro Life tag on my car - check

Pro Life bumper sticker - check

Crucifix displayed in my car - check (medals instead here)

Religious items in my home, on my walls - check

Medals around my neck - check (need some for me, wife has them all)

Various religious and pro-life t-shirts - check

It warms my heart to see parents with teeny kids going to the March for Life, standing on a Life Chain, praying in front of an abortion clinic.

I have never heard of a child being harmed because parents had a pro-life sticker or Catholic item on display.

Christ told us “let your light shine before men” he talked about not hiding our light under a basket. We are to be salt and light - so, we need to shake and SHINE

Same but add the Pro-Choice Candidate sicker next to my Pro-Life plate… I want people to ask why I feel it’s the best way to save lives and I have every ability to defend that based upon the teachings of our Church, Historical facts and personal research…

I will say that I got almost as many strange looks from my fellow Dems as well… (one of the few Pro-Life Democrats left I believe) which gives me a great chance to tell them why Life IS Life from conception…

I believe if I can educate one person on each side every so often then perhaps one day there will be enough in the middle who will actually DO SOMETHING to stop abortions rather than just using rhetoric to get elected… talk is cheap… 24 years and 7 out of 9 justices have gained us nothing all while abortions are up for some groups, more people are under the poverty line than every before, we have an unjust war going on, 47 million people w/o heath care and we rank 27th in infant mortality rate… yes we are letting babies die to parents who want them and watching mothers lose them because they get no prenatal care…I’m tired of talk…

Don’t get me wrong, abortion is the greatest evil we have right now - I agree with that but the stated pro-life politicians do nothing year after year. They have held power twice as long as the “Pro-Choice” group yet the biggest abortion reductions were during the 90s…

Talk is cheap…

In regards to the question though, no one has ever done anything to my stuff regardless of what it might state. I have worried this year though…

 

[capsaicin]

How do we teach our children moral courage if we do not model it?

This is part of the reason why my DH packs heat in certain situations. Anyone tries to mess with his family, and they are gonna get WAY more than they bargained for!

Ah, our Constitution… the 2nd Amendment gives us the right to have the best defensive tools at hand when someone wants to try and punish us for using our 1st Amendment rights! Right on…

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

How do we teach our children moral courage if we do not model it?

That’s why I am asking. I am trying to decide what is prudent. There is a big difference between a 2 year old and an older child who can have things explained to them. And a difference between courage and stupidity…trying to find that line.

This is part of the reason why my DH packs heat in certain situations. Anyone tries to mess with his family, and they are gonna get WAY more than they bargained for!

Well, since this is Canada the only heat we’re packing are those little hot packs you stick in your gloves to keep from freezing

 

[mizznicole]

Feanaro_s_Wife:
I think that’s something only you can answer for yourself in your situation. If you feel uncomfortable with it, then don’t do it. I don’t feel that putting my bumper sticker on my car is going to put us in grave danger. I feel the consequences of not promoting my candidate are worse than the risk of getting my car keyed. So we speak out in that way.

OTOH, I don’t feel comfortable with bringing my baby to the abortion clinic. I might at some point, but not now.

 

[mizznicole]

Same but add the Pro-Choice Candidate sicker next to my Pro-Life plate… I want people to ask why I feel it’s the best way to save lives and I have every ability to defend that based upon the teachings of our Church, Historical facts and personal research…

I will say that I got almost as many strange looks from my fellow Dems as well… (one of the few Pro-Life Democrats left I believe) which gives me a great chance to tell them why Life IS Life from conception…

I believe if I can educate one person on each side every so often then perhaps one day there will be enough in the middle who will actually DO SOMETHING to stop abortions rather than just using rhetoric to get elected… talk is cheap… 24 years and 7 out of 9 justices have gained us nothing all while abortions are up for some groups, more people are under the poverty line than every before, we have an unjust war going on, 47 million people w/o heath care and we rank 27th in infant mortality rate… yes we are letting babies die to parents who want them and watching mothers lose them because they get no prenatal care…I’m tired of talk…

Don’t get me wrong, abortion is the greatest evil we have right now - I agree with that but the stated pro-life politicians do nothing year after year. They have held power twice as long as the “Pro-Choice” group yet the biggest abortion reductions were during the 90s…

Talk is cheap…

In regards to the question though, no one has ever done anything to my stuff regardless of what it might state. I have worried this year though…

I want to challenge your assertion. According to the Guttmacher Institute, abortions are at an all-time low. guttmacher.org/media/nr/2008/01/17/index.html

I think we need to acknowledge the net effect of anti-abortion legislation over the last several years. We’ve made progress.