I know many people who, even after years of prayerful study, dissent from the teachings of the Catholic Church. I won’t get into which teachings, because that’s not the purpose of this thread. Suffice it to say that they are the “usual suspect”, mostly.
Some of these people have left the Church because of their dissent. Some remain in the Church, albeit with a great deal of inner struggle and turmoil. Some are lay people; some are priests and nuns.
I think most people here at CAF would say that people outside the Catholic Church who dissent from its teachings should stay outside until such time as they can reconcile their conscience to those teachings. That is, one shouldn’t enter the Church in a condition of dissent. But what about those people who are already in the Caholic Church? Should they leave until they can accept all the teachings wholeheartedly? Or should they stay and try to stifle their dissent?
It’s difficult for an “assenting” Catholic to understand that others have difficulty with a Church teaching, especially if that assenting Catholic accepts all teachings without any question. They just don’t question the teachings, so it’s hard for them to understand that someone else would question the teachings.
It’s even more difficult for an “assenting” Catholic to understand that there are others whose conscience makes it difficult to accept some teachings of the Church, because an assenting Catholic will have accepted the teachings without any question. They just don’t question the teachings, and accept them without question, so it’s hard for them to understand that someone else would find a particular teaching immoral.
So we’re talking apples and oranges here. What you want to know can really only be answered by someone who can relate to your questions, not refuse to answer due to lack of understanding. They just can’t relate to the situation because they’re not in it.
I have LOTS of trouble with some teachings too. Some I just don’t get, some that have answers that sound just plain silly and made-up, and some that frankly go against my conscience. Thankfully the teachings that are contrary the most, don’t affect me personally that much - except for the fact that I don’t agree with or understand them. But they still bother me. So in my case, I really don’t have to do anything: If I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it…it’s not something that can be forced. Or faked. How can one “fake” faith, and for whose benefit would this “faking” be? And again, the things I don’t believe don’t affect me personally. It’s much much more difficult when it
does affect people, and I can empathize with that.
A friend’s mom used to accept all things of the Church without question, and if you asked her a difficult question, her answer would be, literally, “Oh, I just don’t think about those things”, and then she’ll change the subject. Like, “how can you reconcile the fact that Lutherans were burned at the stake and the Church did nothing to stop it, and even encouraged it?”, and the answer would be, “Oh I just don’t think about those things”. Or, “Doesn’t it bother you that during the Inquistions, people were tortured by Inquisitors into saying things they didn’t mean/weren’t true, and then handed over to secular authorities, who tortured them more and put them to death”. And the response, after an uncomfortable pause was, “well, I just don’t think about those things”. Well…some people do, and being told not to think about those things isn’t a sufficient answer.
To people who have difficulty believing and/or accepting Church teachings, I’d say the first thing to do is try to understand the teaching by actually getting your questions answered, preferably by reading about it in Canon and CCC documents, or talking to a priest. Ignore the nasty people and don’t let their abrasive and uncharitable words lead you away from the Church. If one still can’t come to accept a particular teaching, I’d say to concentrate on what you do believe in, and concetrate on GOD, and don’t let the other things eat you up. You may come to learn them later. Faith is a lifelong process. But unless you truly find a home someplace else, I wouldn’t leave the Church. I would just continue concentrating on God. I’m not saying “oh just don’t worry about those things”. But don’t let them eat you up and destroy what you do love about the Church. You have time to figure it all out…and even then, you may never believe somethings. But you believe in God. Concentrate on Him. And I know some people might find this contrary, but it’s something you might understand: Sometimes, what does religion have anything to do with God?
IMOHO, there is way too much an emphasis on rules and regulations in Catholic teaching, and not enough emphasis on loving God and Mary. If you concentrate on God, you may never accept all the legalism, but you might find the rest more tolerable.
I hope that helps…but most people go through many developmental stages on their journey through life, and that includes their spiritual journey, and it never stops. Good for those who have it all figured out at the moment of Baptism…but the rest of us are doing the best we can, with what we’ve got, in our own lives. I wouldn’t leave the Church unless I found something better. Sometimes I think I have, but I’m not ready to do anything about it yet.
