I understand completely what you have said. You can intellectualize it all you want - e.g. God draws you closer through absence, etc. - or read it thoroughly described by Thomas a Kempis in the Immitation of Christ - he writes, to paraphrase, when Jesus is present, everything is easy; when Jesus is absent, even that which is easy seems hard - but none of this has ever really helped me when I am in trouble and sounds like empty platitudes when I am going through things, looking to God for answers, and not getting them.
Here’s what I do: First, I tell myself, “Act as if you have faith and faith will be yours.” Going through the motions is not empty; it’s knocking on the door. So I am careful at such times to fulfill all my duties to God including Mass and the Sacraments. I know that the effects of the Eucharist have nothing to do with how I feel at the time, and I will receive grace even if I don’t feel it or know it.
Second, I say the rosary if I cannot say any other prayer. I think people underestimate the value of repetitive prayer. When I say the rosary at such times, if my thoughts wander, so be it. The rosary is taking place on one level and my thoughts are on another, And I tell myself that I am sharing these stray thoughts with the Holy Mother because they are what she really wants to hear; that she is drawing these thoughts out of me to talk about them. So I exercise no discpline over my thoughts in it, and just get through a rosary every day.
Third, I remind myself that a drowning man cannot be expected to have manners. The fact that I cannot discourse well with God when I am in trouble, tired, loaded with problems and trying to move on is no knock on me. When I get firmly onto dry land, we’ll have a more civil conversation.
I know there’s a wealth of spirituality on this topic in the church, e.g. St. John of the Cross, most recently , I think, the example of Mother Theresa. But the above is my own simple formula for my own simple mind.
