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Contemplative Provocations by Fr. Donald Haggerty - pages 89-90.There may be souls of spiritual depth who presume in themselves a meager capacity for prayer because they find interior silence unachievable. They desire more than anything a peaceful recollection alone with God and instead experience frequent disturbance of their thoughts in prayer. They are quite mistaken, sometimes, about their lack of deeper prayer. It may even be that God prefers it this way. The manner in which people and events from outside prayer cling to their thoughts is actually matched by an intense undercurrent of desire cleaving to God during times of prayer and extending beyond prayer. This dominant desire for God operates beneath the turbulence of distraction. It is the primary spiritual orientation of the person. Their mental activity may seem caught up in haphazard thoughts, but there is nonetheless a steady flow of desire for God. This provides a deeper layer of loving contact between God and the soul even if the person seems to enjoy no satisfaction. Their union with God in prayer is a concealed one, hidden from their own perception. This quality of hiddenness may be most salutary for the subsequent generosity of such souls. Sometimes these are souls who have been given a poor and obscure role in the divine plan for the salvation of other souls. Their experience in prayer is consistent with the holy poverty of their lives.
Merry Christmas