Disturbed in Adoration

[Pax1972]

First, I apologize if this isn’t the appropriate forum for this post.

We are blessed to have perpetual adoration at our parish and I’ve recently begun spending quite a bit of time with our Lord there. The peace I experience in His presence is absolutely amazing.

Unless absolutely alone in the chapel, one might expect to hear others coming/going, kneeling, shifting, etc… While a little distracting, these types of noise don’t disturb my peace or break my concentration on Jesus. In my experience, prior to today, everyone present with me in adoration has been extremely respectful.

Today, though, something unusual happened during adoration. During my final half hour, a lady entered the chapel and, rather than closing the door (which sticks a little) slowly and as quietly as possible, she essentially slammed it. She then went to the second door, which was slightly ajar, and did the same thing. After that, she sat in the adjacent pew, waved her hand to get someone’s attention behind me and said hello to them. After that, she loudly unzipped her purse, rummaged around, pulled out her rosary, loudly zipped her purse, and then sort of dropped the kneeler. After she knelt, she allowed the crucifix on her rosary to loudly swing into the pew over and over. After just a minute or two, she sat down in the pew and, again, loudly unzipped her purse, rummaged around, pulled out something plastic and snapped it, rattled some paper, put all this back in her purse and loudly zipped it. She then knelt and began to rattle her rosary beads and swing the crucifix into the pew again. I’ve probably given way too much detail here and still haven’t described the small circus in the pew next to me. The noise just went on and on. It was very disturbing and, eventually, outright irritating.

So, here are my questions:

1. Other than to try to keep my attention on Jesus and to say a prayer for this lady, should I have done anything else? Is it appropriate to say something (kindly, of course) in a situation like that?
2. Do I have the more serious issue in that I was distracted to the point of irritation by this lady’s lack of consideration for others in the chapel and what at least seemed to be irreverence for our Lord?

 

[I_Thirst]

Sounds like you were being tested.

I probably would not have said anything. If it were really distracting (and I’ve been around folks like that), I usually switch to another prayer style.

Or I just get up and go outside for a bit – visit a statue of Mary in a kind of micro-pilgrimage – and then return, thereby allowing the rustler to settle down a bit.

Or maybe it’s just a sign to leave? Sometimes we can be Mary, and other times we have to go back out into the world and be Martha.

 

[maolszewski]

I have recently begun weekly adoration and I can see where you are coming from. I would consider myself to have ADHD (slightly), maybe you suffer from the same thing?

In any event, I think if you see this woman again and she continues this behavior, it may be appropriate to follow her out after she leaves and ask her if she could be a little more reverent while in the chapel (not leaving the Lord unattended though!). I would certainly be very nice about it, but mention that you are having a hard time concentrating while she is making such noise.

Or maybe if you are attending the same hour as her, you could change to a different hour? That would be a quick fix.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I would not saying anything either. Some people are just more restless. Yes, pray for her. And unless that was your assigned hour, perhaps leaving and coming back later or another day was the best solution. Not because she ‘drove you out’, but because it would be better for you to go run errands than sit in adoration stewing about the noise of someone’s rosary.

PS. Thank you for going to adoration!

 

[FromTheAshes777]

I actually experienced something like this during Low Mass once, it was quite a test for sure. I had a rather large family of children behind me and they were continually dropping and spilling what sounded like change or coins onto the hard tile floor along with several other items I couldn’t make out.

During the quiet of Low Mass it was extremely loud to almost everyone in attendance. I wouldn’t doubt that the priest and altar servers could hear it as well. I just prayed really hard and shut my eyes…trying my hardest to think of nothing but our Blessed Lord on the cross. I gave up trying to follow along in my Missal after about 5 straight minutes of it.

I sympathize with the situation…but I doubt that saying anything to the lady would have helped or brought any positive result. Offer it up.

 

[OraLabora]

We have a chapel of the Blessed Sacrament in the Benedictine abbey I am affiliated with. It’s a popular tourist destination and often people stand in the back and talk loudly. When that happens I have no qualms about saying “shhh! People are praying here!”.

But rustlers… yeah we have those too but what can you do? They’re just not conscious of their acts.

 

[Pax1972]

I have recently begun weekly adoration and I can see where you are coming from. I would consider myself to have ADHD (slightly), maybe you suffer from the same thing?

In any event, I think if you see this woman again and she continues this behavior, it may be appropriate to follow her out after she leaves and ask her if she could be a little more reverent while in the chapel (not leaving the Lord unattended though!). I would certainly be very nice about it, but mention that you are having a hard time concentrating while she is making such noise.

Or maybe if you are attending the same hour as her, you could change to a different hour? That would be a quick fix.

I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year. It was quite a shock to find out I have it at age 38. Interesting (providential, even?) that you mention it. I’m constantly realizing how it seems to affect most everything I do and how it has affected me all my life.

 

[smichhertz]

1. Other than to try to keep my attention on Jesus and to say a prayer for this lady, should I have done anything else? Is it appropriate to say something (kindly, of course) in a situation like that?

I wouldn’t do anything unless a) it is a repeated occurrence on a regular basis and b) other people besides yourself and without you initiating it, mention they are also irritated.

1. Do I have the more serious issue in that I was distracted to the point of irritation by this lady’s lack of consideration for others in the chapel and what at least seemed to be irreverence for our Lord?

I’d focus on offering it up and praying for her like you did. Perhaps the Lord is trying to teach you how to focus on him amidst distractions rather than absent of them. Like I said above, unless it becomes a regular thing and other people are annoyed, I wouldn’t do anything about it.

Hope that helps!

 

[MissRose73]

I would only pray for her, not approach her and reprimand her for the noise she made. Perhaps God is testing you and using her for that reason.

Does your chapel have signs reminding people about quiet and the doors, etc, if not they should as not all remember. The place I went to that has perpetual adoration recently has signs on both doors leading to and from the chapel reminding people to be quiet with voices & the doors as the chapel is in the back of a church that is 100+ years old.

Perhaps a few signs outside the door should remind all of the basics:

*Open and close door(s) quietly
*Whispers or silence in the chapel when inside
*Try to be as quiet as possible when taking a seat and/or handling kneelers
*Leave small talk for outside the chapel if you see someone you know
*Silence technology like phones, etc
*Try to make little noise if you need to go into a bag of any kind to retrieve rosary beads or prayer books

 

[catholicmamajoy]

If noise continues to be a chronic issue in the adoration chapel, you might approach your parish priest and ask about a “general notice” being placed in the bulletin (and even at the door of the chapel) about how blessed your parish is to have a quiet**** place to pray in the presence of Our Lord and for all who attend to try and keep a spirit of quiet reverence.

 

[catholicmamajoy]

I would only pray for her, not approach her and reprimand her for the noise she made. Perhaps God is testing you and using her for that reason.

Does your chapel have signs reminding people about quiet and the doors, etc, if not they should as not all remember. The place I went to that has perpetual adoration recently has signs on both doors leading to and from the chapel reminding people to be quiet with voices & the doors as the chapel is in the back of a church that is 100+ years old.

Perhaps a few signs outside the door should remind all of the basics:

*Open and close door(s) quietly
*Whispers or silence in the chapel when inside
*Try to be as quiet as possible when taking a seat and/or handling kneelers
*Leave small talk for outside the chapel if you see someone you know
*Silence technology like phones, etc
*Try to make little noise if you need to go into a bag of any kind to retrieve rosary beads or prayer books

 

[TimothyH]

I would only pray for her, not approach her and reprimand her for the noise she made. Perhaps God is testing you and using her for that reason.

It is a gift to be presented with an opportunity to be like Christ.

-Tim-

 

[Veridical16]

Hi Pax

By your description, it sounds to me that you just need to offer it up as a penance. I have gone through similar feelings.

Have you read St. Therese Lisieux writings?

Mao suggested this

In any event, I think if you see this woman again and she continues this behavior, it may be appropriate to follow her out after she leaves and ask her if she could be a little more reverent while in the chapel (not leaving the Lord unattended though!). I would certainly be very nice about it, but mention that you are having a hard time concentrating while she is making such noise.

While it is well intentioned,

I agree with FromTheAshes I don’t think that is necessary , nor is that healthy because if you really think about it. The noise she was making was from holding her ROSARY!
It is not like she was talking on her cell phone.
I sympathize because I get irked easily by unusual commotion in Church too. But I often wonder if that is me being tempted or tested? For instance, are we always going to be in our comfort zone??

To seek her out after the chapel, might make her feel scrupulous for not really doing anything wrong in God’s eyes? She at least took the time out of her day to adore the Lord right?
It also makes you possibly jumping to conclusions about their interior disposition.

Anyway , have you also read St. Theresa of Avila?? Maybe you can refer to her in how she talked about prayer and contemplation. She mentions advice in not letting oneself get distracted.

This video moreso talks about contemplative prayer and union with the Lord, but a moment in the video can be applied to prayer before the Blessed Sacrament Fr. Maximilian – talks about St. John contemplating the Word made flesh; he mentions St. Theresa of Avila.

youtube.com/watch?v=F8mtHrP0s7k

I find even without people, in trying prayerful contemplation, my thoughts begin to wander when trying to focus on the Lord. I think possibly it is a time to mortify oneself and practice patience. Try to tune the distractions out, let them pass.

At the 4:30 Minute Mark :

St. Theresa of Avila uses an analogy of being with the King. . .She uses the example, if you’re in the presence with the King, a bunch of horses and chariots go by as you’re talking with the King , it can be a little bit distracting. But what should you do?
You should focus on the presence of the King. Focus on what’s most important. And that’s where your attention lies. When we reach this level of prayer, there are times when our Will is engaged, guided with Christ the King, in love. But our memory and intellect may not know what to do. They might be like little wild horses. What she says to do, is let the Horses run, don’t worry about it. If you know that your will is being engaged in love. Be in union with him

Again this is about the stages of contemplative prayer and the imperfect stages one reaches when meditating on Scripture etc. But I do think it applies here, in regard to "Wild Horses " we come across in general. if one lets themselves get distracted, it takes focus off the company we are giving to the Lord. For the rest of the hour you’ll be thinking about what to say and how to confront a fellow parishioner and how annoyed you are rather, than your initial intention to adore the Lord, and unite yourself with him.

 

[maolszewski]

I agree with the above posters, on reading my previous post I may have suggested approaching her, but really only if the behavior continues despite quiet signs and the such.

But on second thought, that may not have any positive result as she may feel embarrassed. Just keep praying and bring the issue to the pastor’s attention if the situation gets out of hand.

It’s funny I guessed it may be an ADHD thing, which it might. I have not been diagnosed but have always felt that I suffer from that to some extent.

I pray you are blessed from spending time with our Lord!

Thank You!

 

[Veridical16]

It is a gift to be presented with an opportunity to be like Christ.

-Tim-

Think about how Christ was on the cross and all those gawkers and scoffers, roman soldiers.

I think a reliance on Mary will help against these distractions.

Fr. Vincent Serpa I think mentioned this on one of the radio blurbs how St. John was given the grace to suffer being at the foot of the cross because he was beside or aided by Mary. Which is one of the reasons why he was the only apostle to not die a martyr. He already suffered there.

 

[mamaslo]

You are blessed you even get to go…

 

[catholicmamajoy]

Hi Pax

By your description, it sounds to me that you just need to offer it up as a penance. I have gone through similar feelings.

Have you read St. Therese Lisieux writings?

Mao suggested this

While it is well intentioned,

I agree with FromTheAshes I don’t think that is necessary , nor is that healthy because if you really think about it. The noise she was making was from holding her ROSARY!
It is not like she was talking on her cell phone.
I sympathize because I get irked easily by unusual commotion in Church too. But I often wonder if that is me being tempted or tested? For instance, are we always going to be in our comfort zone??

To seek her out after the chapel, might make her feel scrupulous for not really doing anything wrong in God’s eyes? She at least took the time out of her day to adore the Lord right?
It also makes you possibly jumping to conclusions about their interior disposition.

Anyway , have you also read St. Theresa of Avila?? Maybe you can refer to her in how she talked about prayer and contemplation. She mentions advice in not letting oneself get distracted.

This video moreso talks about contemplative prayer and union with the Lord, but a moment in the video can be applied to prayer before the Blessed Sacrament
Fr. Maximilian – talks about St. John contemplating the Word made flesh; he mentions
St. Theresa of Avila

youtube.com/watch?v=F8mtHrP0s7k

I find even without people, in trying prayerful contemplation, my thoughts begin to wander when trying to focus on the Lord. I think possibly it is a time to mortify oneself and practice patience. Try to tune them out.

At the 4:30 Minute Mark :

Again this is about the stages of contemplative prayer and the imperfect stages one reaches when meditating on Scripture etc.
But I do think it applies here, in regard to "Wild Horses " in general. if one lets themselves get distracted, it takes focus off the company we are giving to the Lord. For the rest of the hour you’ll be thinking about what to say and how to confront a fellow parishioner and how annoyed you are rather, than your initial intention to adore the Lord.

Great suggestion about St Teresa of Avila and St John of the Cross!

From what I read in the OP though, it wasn’t the noise from her holding her rosary that was so distracting- it was the slamming of doors and the waving of her hands to get the attention of someone else in the chapel simply to “say hello”. Neither of those things need to be done in adoration. We try to observe quiet in the libraries when it’s obvious people are studying…It’s not too much to expect that others would do the same in adoration. The clanking of the beads was probably the “straw the broke the camel’s back” for the OP who was trying with others in the chapel to observe the reverent atmosphere of being in the presence of Christ. Just as some people cannot compose a college essay with external distractions in place, some people cannot go deep into prayer with slamming doors and attempts to socialize going on. A simple note from the parish priest in the bulletin, a few sentences during the announcements after Mass, or a small sign posted outside the chapel door reminding people to try and be quiet would probably go a long way in reminding those that adoration is a “quiet place” and to take care not to be chatty with others or slam doors.

 

[lutherlic]

It’s unanimous on not saying anything, at least at this point.

If this is a frequently recurring problem or if other people do it too, then perhaps signs or other steps might be necessary.

When thinking about this incident, don’t focus so much on how it has annoyed / inconvenienced / defocused you / etc. but on possible charitable explanations. This lady may be hard of hearing and unaware of how loud it appears to others. She may not be that familiar with adoration. She may be dealing with some tragedy in her life. There are many possibilities.

One thing I often do in adoration is pray for the intentions of the other people there.

 

[Veridical16]

I agree with the above posters, on reading my previous post I may have suggested approaching her, but really only if the behavior continues despite quiet signs and the such.

I think I would have thought about doing such too. But maybe if it happened every day, and six weeks straight. I would have to prudently try to help her or something.

But on second thought, that may not have any positive result as she may feel embarrassed.

When I have opportunity to visit my chapel which has perpetual adoration, sometimes I have to adjust some of my keys when I’m getting into the pew.
I put myself in that lady’s shoes.

Just keep praying and bring the issue to the pastor’s attention if the situation gets out of hand.

That seems more prudent.

It’s funny I guessed it may be an ADHD thing, which it might. I have not been diagnosed but have always felt that I suffer from that to some extent.

I pray you are blessed from spending time with our Lord!

Thank You!

I’ll say a little prayer for both of you guys!

 

[Pax1972]

Thanks, everyone, for your wisdom. I actually did have the impression that I was being tested. Your responses seem to confirm that.

I’ve been consistently praying for humility (among other things) over the past couple of months. The desire to be purified of my pride was actually the focus of my first few minutes in adoration today. I’m convinced more each day that my prayers are being answered as the Holy Spirit seems to be actively revealing how pride creeps into so much of what I do, fail to do, and think.

Painful? Yes. Necessary? Yes. Grace? Definitely.

I hope to pass the test one of these days…