Divorce and Communion

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Cecelia,

Thank you so much for your words of compassion and understanding. I love the Catholic litugy and the Mass. I feel that I am being drawn to the Church.

Julie
 
julie

Take heart! The only unforgivable sin in the Church is remarriage. Even a prostitute or a child molester can find forgiveness, but not someone who gets remarried without a $1000.00 “donation” and a rubber stamp.
 
aithorette said:
Cecelia,

Thank you so much for your words of compassion and understanding. I love the Catholic litugy and the Mass. I feel that I am being drawn to the Church.

Julie
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Your first step is to talk to a priest and tell him the whole truth. Don’t worry - he has heard it all before, and worse - you cannot say anything that will shock him. 🙂

Then, do whatever he tells you to do. Most commonly, the order of things looks like this:
  1. Join Inquiry RCIA
  2. Apply to the Marriage Tribunal to have your previous marriages looked into.
  3. Receive the paperwork back from the Tribunal that gives you the go-ahead to marry.
  4. Move into regular RCIA classes.
  5. Get your marriage blessed in the Church.
  6. Receive the Sacraments of Initiation - Baptism, Confirmation, and First Holy Communion.
  7. Be the best Catholic you can be. 👍
If you were previously baptized, then you will also get your Baptismal certificate from the place where you were baptized, and your sequence will then (most likely) be as follows:
  1. Join Inquiry RCIA
  2. Apply to the Marriage Tribunal to have your previous marriages looked into.
  3. Receive the paperwork back from the Tribunal that gives you the go-ahead to marry.
  4. Move into regular RCIA classes.
  5. Attend First Confession
  6. Get your marriage blessed in the Church.
  7. Make your Profession of Faith and receive the Sacraments of Confirmation and First Holy Communion.
  8. Be the best Catholic you can be. 👍
Your mileage may vary - some things might happen in a slightly different order, but all of these things will happen in some order, and in the end, everything will be okay. 🙂
 
Julie, this is a very complex subject and I completely agree that you should talk to a priest.

My wife and I, both in our second marriage, after divorces, just joined the church. Her first husband is deceased, so there’s no problem there. My ex-wife is still living and I’m working on an annulment.

Re the previous comment concerning the cost of annulments, please don’t be put off. I’ve been told when the processing of my annulment is complete the diocese will tell me what they spend on it. After that I can pay all, some, or none of it. I understand this might be different by location, but please don’t hold the church in contempt before you investigate it.

About remarriage and communion, as this new Catholic understands it, the answer may be no, you can’t. My wife and I can, because we are living as “brother and sister”, that is, not having sexual relations before the annulment is granted.

Remember, all of this is complex. You need to be patient and just walk through it. Remember too, you are as worthy as anyone else to become a Catholic, and the day you do, you will be as worthy as any other Catholic.

God bless you and your family. Don’t hesitate, make an appointment with a priest right now!
 
Ramalama said:
Re the previous comment concerning the cost of annulments, please don’t be put off. I’ve been told when the processing of my annulment is complete the diocese will tell me what they spend on it. After that I can pay all, some, or none of it. I understand this might be different by location, but please don’t hold the church in contempt before you investigate it.
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Agreed. In my diocese the cost for processing was $450…whether the petition is granted or not. I paid on a monthly plan of $25 per month! The diocese will also review requests from people who cannot pay. Never fear.

Some people spread the misinformation that you’re “paying for your annulment” and your petition will be granted as long as you pay. That is simply not true. Besides, there were more than 5 diocesan personnel working on my case for a period spanning 15 months…the $450 didn’t even begin to pay their salaries or the electric bill in the terribly junky old building that houses our Tribunal offices. The Church takes a LOSS on these cases.
 
Drlit said:
julie

Take heart! The only unforgivable sin in the Church is remarriage. Even a prostitute or a child molester can find forgiveness, but not someone who gets remarried without a $1000.00 “donation” and a rubber stamp.
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I’m not quite sure that I understand. Would you mind clarifying this?

Thank you.
 
Drlit said:
Take heart! The only unforgivable sin in the Church is remarriage.
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Au contraire. All they have to do is repent.

A “remarried” person who **ceases **their **adultery **can be forgiven in the Sacrament of Reconcilation and return to the Sacraments too.
Drlit said:
Even a prostitute or a child molester can find forgiveness,
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If they repent in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, turn from their sin and sin no more, of course they can be forgiven.
Drlit said:
but not someone who gets remarried without a $1000.00 “donation” and a rubber stamp.
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These types of comments merely show ignorance on the part of the person posting them.
 
Thank Goodness!!! I have been sweating that out!

I am married and not committing adultry with anyone. Is that what you mean?

Thank you so much.

Julie
 
aithorette said:
Thank you.

I feel a bit sub-standard for the Church because of my previous marriages. I didn’t understand that marriage was a sacrament. I am willing to go through the annullment process or whatever they think that I need to do (short of rejecting my current husband). I did marry him for life. Do you think that the Church will take that into consideration. Is it possible that they will say that I cannot convert at all?

A little bit confused.

Julie
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I would advise for you to go through the process of anullment. My son took this very difficult and time consuming step and it has turned out to be a great blessing and healing process for him.
 
aithorette said:
Thank Goodness!!! I have been sweating that out!

I am married and not committing adultry with anyone. Is that what you mean?

Thank you so much.

Julie
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To whom was this directed?

If you have been married, civilly divorced, and are remarried civilly now then you are currently in an invalid marriage-- and yes, the Church would consider that committing adultery. That is why you cannot be received into the Church until your previous marriages are examined and your current marriage validated (if the others are found to be null).

Now, if you and/or any of your previous spouses were/are unbaptized there are some other things that can be pursued regarding the Pauline and/or Petrine privilege.

Really we are only speculating here, we do not have all the facts. You need to talk to a priest. The further along you go in threads like these, the more likely it is that people will interject incorrect information. I do not want you to get any false info. Go to the priest.
 
aithorette said:
I’m not quite sure that I understand. Would you mind clarifying this?

Thank you.
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Often those working through annulments are very frustrated because finding a sacrament did not exist though it was attempted can be difficult and slow.
aithorette said:
Thank Goodness!!! I have been sweating that out!

I am married and not committing adultery with anyone. Is that what you mean?

Thank you so much.

Julie
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You are not under the binds of the Church for example a Pauline Privilege maybe in order. It would be hard to have used proper forum, etc. Until the Church acknowledges you’re in grace sacraments are prohibited. It is highly unlikely you would be found to be bound to your first marriage however no sacrament until the finding. Please understand the Church does not change anything, it affirms whether marriage was or was not valid but it does not change from valid to invalid. It finds the presumed and or understood to be valid never was because…………………

To be in a state of adultery you would have to be bound to the first marriage and having relations with another. A married Catholic would be presumed validly married thus their only conditions with relations with another are adultery (valid marriage), fornication (invalid marriage). The other poster referenced the adulterous can confess and return to a state of grace (celibate or with relations with their spouse). While the fornicator would have to be celibate as they are not in a valid marriage. Remember they cannot change their (invalid) marriage status they must remain celibate until the Church acknowledges the person was never sacramental married.

In summary you are not in communion with the Church for several reasons. All these impediments can be cleared up, if you chose to pursue proper paths. I encourage you to start soon as the process usually is only harder when more time passes.

Hope that helps
 
Although most everyone posting tried to help. It gets confusing for the OP after a few posts. Seems like almost everyone has a part, sometimes even a good part of the answer, but a careful reading often still seems to leave the OP somewhat confused.

THE BEST ADVICE WAS GET YE TO A PRIEST AND TALK THIS MATTER OUT. NOTHING OF CONSEQUENCE WILL HAPPEN TILL THIS IS DONE. 🙂
 
1ke said:
Au contraire. All they have to do is repent.

A “remarried” person who **ceases **their **adultery **can be forgiven in the Sacrament of Reconcilation and return to the Sacraments too.

If they repent in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, turn from their sin and sin no more, of course they can be forgiven.

These types of comments merely show ignorance on the part of the person posting them.
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From the person who posted it:

Tell me about your anullment and I will tell you about MINE and a friend’s and my wife’s. Who you callin’ ignorant?
:eek:
 
It sounds very complicated and confusing.

I talked to my husband about the communion/divorced issue, and he offered to come to the RCIA class tomorrow with me! For him, that was a complete 360! God is at work.

Thank you all. I appreciate ALL of your advice.

Catholic wanna-be,

Julie
 
Thank you! I am so happy and excited!!! I have wanted to do this for years and years. My family is all Protestant.

My husband is going to RCIA with me. I didn’t think that he would be interested, but he volunteered.

Pray. Pray. Pray!

Julie
 
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