Bryan, this is not my experience of civil divorce. I was in a long term very difficult marriage. In fact a priest and a family therapit (who had worked with me for years) both had recommended that I leave. After much inner turmoil, I ultimately decided to stay in the marriage, although there are also issues with staying in a marriage you believe to not be sacramental. My ex husband left, and remarried as soon as the divorce was over. At this point, I think the priest and therapist actually had better vision than I did.
My daily life now, after a civil divorce, consists of raising a child in the faith, going to mass, going to adoration and doing volunteer work for the Church and the community. I do not feel myself faced with large amounts of temptation, and definately not as much as when I was legally married and under alot of duress. I have lots of female and male friends who support or at least respect my views on the sanctity of a holy marriage, chastity, and friendship and do not try in any way to harm me spiritually. My new life is a beautiful thing.
My life has ended up differently than St.Monica’s to whom you have referred, and I am ok with that…and I truly believe God is too. My daughter has a large devotion to her, and I believe St.Monica has been watching out not only me but also on my exhusband who I know also has suffered alot. My largest fear is not Hell, but the fact that so many people live in fear. Fear, it seems to me, is the largest preventative to truly loving. We want people to be able to love, not to close down or shut down due to fear. Jesus told us so many times to not fear. I, like you, would like to see an end to evilness in this world. But after having been in a difficult marriage and the most horrible custody battle and horrendouse abuse in the secular court scene, what I have learned works best for me when faced with evilness is to just hold up our Lord’s love in response, and not to get undone by another person’s (or my own) poor choices. Practicing kindness and bearing with another in patience and forgiveness seems to be what ultimately changes a poor situation into something holy.
