Divorce and cultivating new friendships

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Hello all,

The following scenario is hypothetical. Let’s suppose that I am a divorced man but have not yet received an annulment. Is it permissible for me to cultivate new friendships with females with the hope of it becoming more serious one day? I understand that I am not supposed to be “dating” because I am still married in the eyes of the Church, but I’m having a difficult time defining what exactly constitutes dating. Does this mean I cannot share coffee, go out to dinner or anything of similar nature with a woman? At what point does spending time together become dating?

Any (name removed by moderator)ut or suggestions would be helpful.
 
What would be appropriate for you to do with your best friend’s wife. Would you go for coffee alone with her?
 
anonymous123456 said:
Hello all,

The following scenario is hypothetical. Let’s suppose that I am a divorced man but have not yet received an annulment. Is it permissible for me to cultivate new friendships with females with the hope of it becoming more serious one day? I understand that I am not supposed to be “dating” because I am still married in the eyes of the Church, but I’m having a difficult time defining what exactly constitutes dating. Does this mean I cannot share coffee, go out to dinner or anything of similar nature with a woman? At what point does spending time together become dating?

Any (name removed by moderator)ut or suggestions would be helpful.
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What is preventing this man from pursuing an “annulment”?
 
There is no guarantee that the man in question will receive a decree of nullity for his first marriage. He may never be free to marry. He is certainly not free to marry now - he is still married and should behave that way.

Therefore, it is not prudent to be seeking the friendship of women “in the hope of it becoming serious one day.” This is a sure path to heartbreak for him and for the women he befriends.

Don’t even go looking for the line between friendship and dating.

Betsy
 
baltobetsy hit hit the nail on the head.

No petition for a decree of nullity should be seen as a sure thing. The process should be invasive and thorough. Just because the two in question don’t get along does not mean either the form of the marriage or the substance are invalid.

Sadly, in many places, the Tribunal grant annulments with impunity. This is also a scandal.
 
*I agree that divorced people shouldn’t date unless they are granted an annulment. My husband left me 12 years ago and we were divorced in December 2002. I haven’t been involved, on any level, with anyone since my husband. I still wear my wedding ring, not because of my devotion to him but because of my commitment to God and the union of marriage (if that makes sense). The reason I haven’t pursued an annulment is because I’ve been so busy over the years struggling financially, building a home business and taking care of my child that I had no time, desire or energy to find a new relationship. And although a priest told me I have grounds, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will be granted. However, I do have a question regarding this.

Didn’t Christ say that divorce and remarriage is permitted if the spouse commits adultery? Matthew 5:32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity*, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. This statement doesn’t mention anything about deception at the onset of the marriage. It is specifically referring to immoral acts after marriage. Since an annulment is granted when deception at the alter is proven, could someone explain why we don’t follow the scripture regarding divorce and remarriage?
 
Celtic_Catholic said:
*I agree that divorced people shouldn’t date unless they are granted an annulment. My husband left me 12 years ago and we were divorced in December 2002. I haven’t been involved, on any level, with anyone since my husband. I still wear my wedding ring, not because of my devotion to him but because of my commitment to God and the union of marriage (if that makes sense). The reason I haven’t pursued an annulment is because I’ve been so busy over the years struggling financially, building a home business and taking care of my child that I had no time, desire or energy to find a new relationship. And although a priest told me I have grounds, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will be granted. However, I do have a question regarding this.

Didn’t Christ say that divorce and remarriage is permitted if the spouse commits adultery? Matthew 5:32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity*, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. This statement doesn’t mention anything about deception at the onset of the marriage. It is specifically referring to immoral acts after marriage. Since an annulment is granted when deception at the alter is proven, could someone explain why we don’t follow the scripture regarding divorce and remarriage?
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I think you might get helpful responses if you post this as a new thread.
 
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