Divorce and Domestic Violence

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elohimrules

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Please pray for me. I got divorce in May from an emotionally abusive and controlling man. Since then it has been very difficult to loose my role as a wife and “mother” to our two small dogs (which he has custody of). I have a restraining order so I will never be able to speak to him and see the dogs again. My heart is broken. I did this for my own safety but I am grieving terribly the loss of companionship, my roles, etc. Please pray for me.
 
i’m so sorry you’re going through all this. :console: Whenever we have a drastic and unhappy change in our lives we go through a period of grieving and adjustment. I don’t know your full circumstances, but you may want to apply to the diocesan marriage tribunal for an annulment–if so, you can talk to your priest about it.

You are in the process of redefining your life and who you were for X number of years. It’s going to be hard for a while, but God will be with you. I pray that Mary wraps you in the mantle of her special protection in all this. Give it some time and things will get better.

As for the dogs–that can be harder than losing a bad spouse, can’t it? They were your friends and “babies”. We’re owned by cats, so I know how you feel about that. In time you may want another pet to fill the void, but give yourself time to find your feet and be patient with yourself and the process of working yourself through all this.

A good counselor might be something you want to look into, as well, so you can have an experienced person help you through your feelings after divorcing an abusive spouse. God bless you, my dear. You have my prayers.
 
I’ll be keeping you in my prayers as well. It’s so hard to go through big transitions like this, but you’re moving in the right direction! :hug1:

And I’d like to second what Della mentioned: when you have the resources to do so, perhaps it would be good for you to get another pet? Having a dog may help you feel safer and provide you some comfort. Plus rescuing a dog from a shelter seems…appropriate to me. Both of you would be escaping bad situations and building a future together.
 
My heart goes out to you. It’s a lot to go through: a breakup, but also facing the fact you were hurt by your ex, and lost the pets you shared. I understand, that is a lot to face, and I’m so sorry you are going through this.

For now, it would be really good to be talking to someone, as a therapist can really help you sort through all the hurt and grief you’re feeling.

It’s an old adage and cliche, but time really does heal all wounds. There are much bigger and better fish in the sea who will treat you with the kindness, love and respect you deserve. You are worth so much. Jesus loves you so much. It’s a good thing you got away from that man.

Regarding your dogs, that’s really hard. Ask St. Francis to intercede for their protection. It won’t replace your dogs, but it may be of some help to look into doing an act of charity and taking in a rescue pet to love, as your own… there are lots of dogs that need love and will love you in return… and that might be a good step in healing your heart.

I will keep you in my prayers. PM me if you ever need support. :hug1:

With my prayers,
GreyWings
 
elohimrules said:
Please pray for me. I got divorce in May from an emotionally abusive and controlling man. Since then it has been very difficult to loose my role as a wife and “mother” to our two small dogs (which he has custody of). I have a restraining order so I will never be able to speak to him and see the dogs again. My heart is broken. I did this for my own safety but I am grieving terribly the loss of companionship, my roles, etc. Please pray for me.
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you have LOTS of prayers and maybe…just maybe…it is time to go rescue an animal and have a pet of your own?
 
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