Divorce and Matthew 19:9

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6glargento

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Matthew 19:9 says:

“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

this verse would seem to suggest that if you divorced your wife becuase she was unfaithful then you can remarry. But we as catholics believe that adultry is not an excuse for divorce and remarriage. How should we explaint hsi to a non catholic who quotes this verse in order to “prove” the church wrong on this issue?
 
6glargento said:
Matthew 19:9 says:

“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

this verse would seem to suggest that if you divorced your wife becuase she was unfaithful then you can remarry. But we as catholics believe that adultry is not an excuse for divorce and remarriage. How should we explaint hsi to a non catholic who quotes this verse in order to “prove” the church wrong on this issue?
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That is not the best translation of the Greek.
This would make better sense:

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication in an unlawful Marriage, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

The Greek word describes a marriage that under Jewish law was not lawful for some reason. It’s translated " Fornication" because having a sexual relationship with someone who you are unlawfully married to, is fornication. But it’s not the whole story.

So if the Church finds that your Marriage is unlawful or in other words invalid, you are free to Marry another, otherwise you are not free to Marry someone else.
 
I’m sure other better informed people will respond, but I just want to caution you on putting so much weight on one single verse. Jesus gave us the Church with the Holy Spirit to guide us in our interpretation of scripture. The Church’s stance on divorce is based upon the entirety of the Word, not just one verse.

I look forward to hearing more educated responses! 🙂
 
6glargento said:
Matthew 19:9 says:

“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

this verse would seem to suggest that if you divorced your wife becuase she was unfaithful then you can remarry. But we as catholics believe that adultry is not an excuse for divorce and remarriage. How should we explaint hsi to a non catholic who quotes this verse in order to “prove” the church wrong on this issue?
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forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=2642693&postcount=25
This is my post from another thread. It includes a link to an article that might answer your question:

Matthew 19:9 is the Biblical exception some Christians use to justify divorce and remarriage.

The parallel verses in both Mark and Luke contain no exceptions for divorce and remarriage.

Also, notice the different versions of Matthew 19:9
I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery. (NAB)
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Note, the NAB is a Catholic translation of the Bible. The original Greek word porneia is translated as unlawful.
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. (NIV)
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Note, the NIV is a Protestant translation of the Bible. The original Greek word porneia is translated as marital unfaithfulness.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (KJV)
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Note, the KJV is a Protestant translation of the Bible. The original Greek word porneia is tranlated as fornication.

What is the most accurate translation of the Greek word porneia? We can look to other verses of the Bible to see how the word porneia is translated. In Matthew 15:19; Mark 7:21-22; Acts 15:28-29 porneia is translated as unchastity.

Also, in 1 Corinthians 5:1-5, porneia is translated as immorality, actually a particular type of immorality–incestuous or unlawful marriage.

So we see in other places in the Bible porneia is translated as unchastity, immorality, particularly incestuous or unlawful marriages.

None of these translations imply adultery per se, yet the NIV uses the term marital unfaithfulness to mean porneia.

The Catholic position is this–while adultery is a grave sin, it is a forgivable sin. Just because a person has committed adultery does not mean his or her marriage is automatically null and void, and the two parties are free to marry others. The only time one is free to divorce and remarry is when the marriage was never lawful from the beginning.

You can read more about the marriage exception clause here:
members.aol.com/johnprh/marriage.html
 
In my opinion this is one of hundreds of biblical phrases that are misinterpreted as a result of societal change. When this was written men easily divorced woman but the reverse was probably rare and nonexistent in many areas. So I think the phrase indicates such a woman never accepted the marriage. Thus she was legally married but never religiously (sacramental) married. I agree the phrase indicates there was no real marriage. I also find that in line with the Pauline Privilege.
 
The silliest interpretation (and that’s all it is) by Protestants to justify divorce, is to paraphrase this verse like this: “If anyone divorces his wife except for adultery, commits adultery, and causes her to commit adultery.”
So if you want out of your marriage and you’re a good Protestant, all you have to do is go out and commit adultery, and that somehow unties the bond of marriage “that man must not divide”. Then you cause you and your spouse to be adulterers, but your marriage was dissolved because of your initial adultery, so it really means that… well, what I mean to say is… ummm… got the time?🤷

In all my years as an Evangelical, I never got this, and was secretly appalled at the divorce and re-marriage going on. This was by bible believin’ Sunday church-goers. I did not speak up because, after all, they had all prayed a sinners prayer, and I guess they meant it. Did they never read St Paul’s warning about those who “will not inherit the kingdom of God”? Among the list of murders and blasphemers is adulterers.
 
captaincoog said:
The silliest interpretation (and that’s all it is) by Protestants to justify divorce, is to paraphrase this verse like this: “If anyone divorces his wife except for adultery, commits adultery, and causes her to commit adultery.”
So if you want out of your marriage and you’re a good Protestant, all you have to do is go out and commit adultery, and that somehow unties the bond of marriage “that man must not divide”. Then you cause you and your spouse to be adulterers, but your marriage was dissolved because of your initial adultery, so it really means that… well, what I mean to say is… ummm… got the time?🤷

In all my years as an Evangelical, I never got this, and was secretly appalled at the divorce and re-marriage going on. This was by bible believin’ Sunday church-goers. I did not speak up because, after all, they had all prayed a sinners prayer, and I guess they meant it. Did they never read St Paul’s warning about those who “will not inherit the kingdom of God”? Among the list of murders and blasphemers is adulterers.
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I agree with everything you wrote.

I also wanted to add that some non-Catholic Christians have a liberal view of what “adultery” is. I knew a couple where the wife was an alcoholic. The husband said he wanted a divorce, and her alcoholism was “adultery,” so he planned to remarry someone else within a year.
 
6glargento said:
Matthew 19:9 says:

“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

this verse would seem to suggest that if you divorced your wife becuase she was unfaithful then you can remarry. But we as catholics believe that adultry is not an excuse for divorce and remarriage. How should we explaint hsi to a non catholic who quotes this verse in order to “prove” the church wrong on this issue?
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Notice that Matthew is the only gospel that talks about a so called “unlawful marriage”:
18This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. 19Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. - Matt 1
Basically this situation describes one example of what Catholics consider a invalid marriage. Back then there were two stages of marriage, one when they were pledged to be married and this came to completion when they moved in together. St Joseph was able to terminate this because they had not fully come together yet. This is not what Jesus was condemning in the context of Matt 19.

The other gospels which bring up this same teaching do not include “except for”, nor does St Paul in 1 Cor 7.
 
Thus, the danger of Sola-Scriptura. Many Protestant churches allow divorce and remarriage for any reason. If people wanted to mistranslate the Bible to say “adultery,” then some go as far as suggesting that a husband who violates Matthew 5:28 has given his wife a valid reason for divorce. Some believe that they can even “repent” of a bad marriage, and that God has forgiven them for their mistake and they are free to move on in life, romantically speaking. This, of course, is all absurd. What is disturbing, however, is that I’m yet to meet even one divorced Catholic who believes that he or she must remain cellebate until the ex-spouse dies. I will not argue with Scripture that the love of money is the source of all evil, but I firmly believe that romantic relationships and the pursuit thereof are the #1 form of idolatry in the world today.
 
I was reading this thread, and I have a question…what is the Catholic church’s stance (or belief) as far as divorce from an abusive spouse? If a woman’s husband is verbally and/or physically abusive, and she divorces him, can the woman later remarry?
 
I was reading this thread, and I have a question…what is the Catholic church’s stance (or belief) as far as divorce from an abusive spouse? If a woman’s husband is verbally and/or physically abusive, and she divorces him, can the woman later remarry?
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Yes, after requesting and receiving the Church’s certification that the earlier marriage was invalid from its beginning. Just like every other marriage that comes to an end. In the church, how and why the marriage ended is only important if it reflects on the state of the participants at the time of the wedding. In the case of abuse, it is very likely there were “impediments” to the marriage from the beginning.

As one who saw a 30-plus year marriage shockingly end, let me encourage people to seek out the Marriage Tribunal and investigate the annulment process. I’m so glad I did. It took three years – we are a very conservative diocese, and it was a very long marriage – and was a time of great healing. I was treated by everyone with respect and great care. I learned things about my ex-spouse and myself that would never have been revealed except under the watchful care of spiritual guides. And, the question everyone asks – no, it wasn’t very expensive. I know the diocese spent far more on the process than the money they received; and they waive any fees from those who cannot pay.

By the end of the process, I was prepared for the Tribunal to accept or reject the application. It was in God’s hand. And, now, if I should happen to grow in love with someone, I know my Church blesses and sanctifies the union.
 
geauxtigers said:
I was reading this thread, and I have a question…what is the Catholic church’s stance (or belief) as far as divorce from an abusive spouse? If a woman’s husband is verbally and/or physically abusive, and she divorces him, can the woman later remarry?
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If the current marriage is valid then no the woman may not “divorce and remarry”, even if the husband is abusive. They can, and it might not be a bad idea if, they separated and lived in different places, but that is not the same as divorce, nor does it entitle either to marry another.
 
It is important that “geauxtigers” understand another option is to have a civil divorce, which allows the spouse to separate and raise the children in an environment free of abuse. This is sadly common. The Church never condones abuse or asks a spouse to endure such. Abuse is reviewed as grounds for annulment as mentioned earlier by “ How could a valid marriage develop into an abusive marriage?” Typically abuse is a result of at least one party never fully understanding or fully committing to the marriage. Abuse as an independent event cannot be the grounds for annulment. The finding the abusive spouse never intended to be a full husband and father is proof the marriage was always invalid
 
FrankLawrence said:
Thus, the danger of Sola-Scriptura. Many Protestant churches allow divorce and remarriage for any reason. If people wanted to mistranslate the Bible to say “adultery,” then some go as far as suggesting that a husband who violates Matthew 5:28 has given his wife a valid reason for divorce. Some believe that they can even “repent” of a bad marriage, and that God has forgiven them for their mistake and they are free to move on in life, romantically speaking. This, of course, is all absurd. What is disturbing, however, is that I’m yet to meet even one divorced Catholic who believes that he or she must remain cellebate until the ex-spouse dies. I will not argue with Scripture that the love of money is the source of all evil, but I firmly believe that romantic relationships and the pursuit thereof are the #1 form of idolatry in the world today.
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Hello, my name is Debby. Glad to meet you. I’ve been divorced for almost 16 years, and though it embarasses me to discuss this topic out loud, I have been and plan to remain celibate. I’m sure I’m not the only one out here.
 
I would charge that adultery is cause for divorce when the adulterer/ess has no intention of repentance.

The reason is to protect the faithful spouse and children. I would not stay with an adulterer because he could catch a disease and pass it on, not only to me, but to our children. There are many STD’s today that are easily passed from one person to another without sexual contact.

As for remarriage, I think the last line may support the Catholic position: “anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

This indicates that even tho the husband had legitimate grounds for divorcing, at least the woman is still bound by the marriage vows. Doesn’t really make sense unless the husband is also still bound.

The bigger picture is that having only one sexual partner protects us for all sorts of heartache. The number of STD’s today and the number of men and women killing their ex’s bears strong testimony that God’s way is best.
 
daeve said:
Hello, my name is Debby. Glad to meet you. I’ve been divorced for almost 16 years, and though it embarasses me to discuss this topic out loud, I have been and plan to remain celibate. I’m sure I’m not the only one out here.
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Glad to know, and yes, I’m sure there are countless others. I just rarely hear of them. I guess it isn’t something that people want to broadcast, but I appreciate your courage.
 
FrankLawrence said:
Glad to know, and yes, I’m sure there are countless others. I just rarely hear of them. I guess it isn’t something that people want to broadcast, but I appreciate your courage.
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The modern world’s view of sex is disordered, so it’s no wonder people are afraid to talk about celibacy. Yet celibacy is a perfectly healthy way of life. Actually, many married people are celibate.

If you must divorce because of an abusive situation, that’s unfortunately but probably unavoidable. Yet obtaining the Church’s consent for you to remarry is not your absolute right even if the divorce wasn’t your fault. Also consider, if you have children, it is probably best to concentrate your attention on them rather than finding a new spouse.

We should look at sex as a gift–not as a civil right or something we absolutely need. But try telling this to an over-sexed world.
 
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